The Scios Totalus of Legend
by Elpin
Summary: Snape finds Harry witnessing his humiliation in the pensive [in fifth year], but before he throws the boy out he uses a very old and mythical artefact to get his revenge, only it doesn't turn out quite the way he planned. Slash Not graphic before HP is 17
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **The Scios Totalus of Legend

**Pairing:** Harry/Severus

**Rating/Warnings: PLEASE READ WARNING FIRST! **(Rating M!) Slash, sexual situations (Harry is of legal age in the wizarding world), child abuse (not sexual), offensive language, violence (bloody!), torture (mostly magical), character deaths (won't say if it's not Harry or Severus. If you must know, pm me). Will contain: not-nice!Gryffindors and side pairings (again, if you must know pm me).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. This story is meant for entertainment only and no money is being made.

**Author's Note: **This story is just a little fun. It is my first snarry and something I can write on when I don't feel like doing any real work on my other projects or to get me started again if I have writer's block. It is, and will probably remain, un-betaed and shouldn't be taken _too_ seriously. Other than that, please enjoy it.

**Note on spelling, Latin and artefacts:** I'm a history student, so although I come across a lot of Latin and ancient Greek phrases, I don't know shit really. I just make them sound more Harry Potter-ish. I'm also Norwegian so please excuse my mistakes. Thirdly, I'm a pathetic fangirl with an overactive imagination. This means that my invented magic stuff can be pretty lame… enough said.

-:-

_Chapter 1: The Scios Totalus _

Severus Snape reluctantly entered his office. Yes, you read correctly, he _reluctantly_ opened the door and stepped inside _his _office. The reason for his current mood was the fact that a certain raven-haired, green-eyed, scarred and bespectacled _pothead_ was right at this moment invading his personal space.

When Professor Snape had been called to Dumbledore's office and told to administer _private_ lessons to one Harry James Potter he did his best not to do something that would finally land him in Azkaban where he should have been a long time ago. Instead he had agreed, _reluctantly, _the word not being nearly good enough to describe how he felt. He would be in contact with Potter _intimately_ and vice versa. This, he concluded rapidly, would be a serious problem.

For, no matter how many times Severus Snape told Harry Potter about his arrogant and horrible father, he did not want the little twit to see it first hand, at Snape's expense. It would also mean _other_ things could be in danger of being revealed. Things so secret that not even Snape himself truly knew their full nature.

Having reached this distressing conclusion he opted for the most logical solution; to protect his memories and dreams against invasion, simply remove them from his mind. It seemed fool proof at the time…

Which is why Severus was left speechless for the first time in, suspiciously enough, ten months almost exactly, when he, as stated before, but will be stated again, reluctantly entered his office to find it completely empty, the soft glow of the pensive drawing his gaze almost immediately.

Now, the Potions Master was not a hasty man, certainly not at his age, though admittedly he had done some pretty stupid stuff when younger, but years of hardship had made him think before acting. It therefore probably came as a shock to him more than others that he immediately went over to his desk and pulled his wand. He muttered a long incantation the Dark Lord himself would find hard to break, if even _He_ could, and pulled open the drawer. Inside lay a single object; about the size of a snitch and of the same golden colour. In fact many would mistake it for a snitch, if not for the strange runic markings covering every inch, along with the round, dark hole, no bigger than a thumb nail, seeming to identifying its 'front'.

Severus picked it up and pocketed it swiftly before finally stalking over to the cursed pensive. He gazed into its depths and saw exactly what he feared. Harry Potter was witnessing his humiliation. It chilled and horrified him to such a degree that for a moment he was again speechless and unable to move. His breath came in short gasps and yet he couldn't tear his eyes away any more than the boy inside could.

Forcing his limbs to move, a task he was fairly used to during torturing sessions at his 'other' occupation, he plunged his head in and entered the pensive. Digging one hand into his pocket, his fingers clutching around the cold little ball, he made his way up to where Potter the younger stood. Ignoring the scene that was coming to its disgusting close, he placed one hand firmly on a bony shoulder. He wasn't nearly as gratified by Potter's squeak as he should have been when he leaned in and whispered:

"Having fun, Potter?" the words became malicious of their own accord. This creature standing behind the terrified boy was no man. A rage seized him as he caught sight of Potter the elder out of the corner of his eye, once again laughing away his troubles with his friends now that the scene was over and Lily was nowhere to impress or placate. Yet, even as he pulled Potter out of the memory he managed to bring the golden ball of righteousness out of his pocket and open his hand behind Potter's head, the green eyes too locked on Snape himself to notice retribution already being carried out.

The little ball spread its little wings and looked about ready to zoom off like the snitch it resembled, but instead it fluttered above the Gryffindor's head. For a moment the little hole darted back and forth, and up and down, as if looking for something. Then it settled on Potter's head and, with a soft 'click' no one heard over Potter's stammering or Snape's rage, it disappeared.

Once the door was slammed in perfect harmony to the clashing of the jar Severus had thrown in his undignified fit, he slumped ungracefully into his chair. It seemed all rage had left him, along with every other emotion. Potter had seen Snape's worst memory. There were so many, many reasons why that was disturbing he couldn't even begin to count them. He had not felt so humiliated and emasculated in a long time. And he worked for the Dark Lord _and_ Dumbledore simultaneously!

His thoughts turned slowly to the golden ball and a grim smile, more like a grimace of disgust (with himself perhaps?) began to spread across his face. It was one of those secrets not even the Dark Lord or Dumbledore knew of; the one thing he kept for himself, perhaps as a symbol of his silent and ineffective rebellion against both masters, perhaps simply because he had wanted it. The latter was more likely.

Once upon a time the Dark Lord had told Snape to go out on a mission, alone. The request was unusual since Severus would normally have stayed and made potions for both sides of the war. Still, none of the Death Eaters had his expertise on… well, on anything really. Dumbledore had agreed that Snape should go, but bring the artefact back to the Light side obviously, and tell Voldemort he couldn't find it.

He had found it, and given the correct response to the Dark Lord, unfortunately, or fortunately depending on who you are, he had said the same thing to Dumbledore. And now he had just set the artefact to work on the Boy Who Lived. If he wasn't going to Hell before, this had just reserved him a suite of his very own.

The _Scios Totalus_ was a mythical artefact. It was ironic really that Severus, the Spy, would be the one to find it, because it was the _perfect_ device for a spy. It followed the target around, totally invisible and undetectable by any other magical means, and let you see and know _everything_, even the person's thoughts if you wished. Obviously, it was a pretty good thing such devices weren't manufactured by the Ministry or Voldemort. It would put an end to all freedom and privacy.

Having told Dumbledore and Voldemort that it was merely the stuff of legends he had then locked it away, waiting for the opportune moment to use it against one of his master's most likely; to finally put an end to the war. Then he had entered his office, and realised that Potter was witnessing his most closely guarded secret. In haste he had grabbed the Scios Totalus, deeming it the perfect way to get Potter back. He would know Potter's secrets just as Potter now knew one of his. And if the little Gryffindor brat decided to share his newly acquired information on the hated Professor, well, Severus was going to be ready!

With this thought firmly in mind he waved his wand over his desk and said the correct spell. Almost instantly a hole, nearly covering his desk, appeared and Severus leaned back in his chair as he gazed into it. He flicked his wand again and the picture-like image flipped up so that it was in front of him and he could view it more easily. He wanted to be comfortable.

There stood Harry Potter, panting and flushed, pressing his back against the wall as if he wanted to disappear into it. Severus sneered at the image. Potter was obviously scared to death. Pathetic. And this was the future hero of the wizarding world? He flicked his wand again and Harry's thoughts could be heard in Severus' mind, almost as if he had a phone to his ear, though that comparison escaped him.

_'Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,' _Harry thought desperately. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to dispel the image of Snape's bare legs in the air. _'Snape was right, all along. God!'_ a tear managed to leak its way out of one eye, trailing unnoticed down his cheek. In his office, Snape frowned, but reframed from commenting, even mentally. _'I wish that jar had hit me. My father humiliated Snape just like Dudley used to bully me… what am I saying? Like Dudley _still_ does to me. James Potter was just as arrogant as Snape said. Dear God, what if I'm like that? No wonder Snape hates me.'_

Now Snape was really thoughtful. He turned off Potter's inner monologue as the teen finally pushed away from the wall and started making his way back to the Tower. Severus had been delighted when, seeing into the brat's mind, he had discovered that Potter had been bullied at that muggle school in his younger years, and though a part of Severus wondered about it, he had afterwards not given it much thought. There had been too many other things to worry about, one of which had just come to pass. The last thought that had passed through Potter intrigued him more. It had almost sounded like Potter regretted that Severus hated him… but that didn't make much sense at all.

Snuggling (not that Snape ever used such a word) further into his chair to get comfortable Severus spelled on Potter's thoughts and leaned back to watch a little more before evening. Potter was just entering the Gryffindor Tower… and his thoughts were getting _really_ interesting…

xxx

Harry sighed as he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. _'Fuck, I don't think I can handle anything tonight,' _he thought tiredly. _'Maybe I can get past every one without much hassle and just go to bed… maybe I'll draw a little first.'_

"_Altus_," he mumbled the password. He noted glumly, as he almost always did when passing through the portrait hole, that he hardly had to bend to get through at all. Most of the other students in his year had had growth spurts during the summer, and grown a great deal during the year so far, but not Harry Potter. Oh, no, of course not. _'Why am I always different? How am I supposed to save the world when I'm smaller than a first year? Ok, exaggerating, I know, but I'm entitled to whine a little, at least in private! Merlin save me… probably the Dursleys' fault. Keeping a kid in a cupboard must have done something wrong, everything else they did has.'_

Lost in his inner grumblings, Harry didn't notice the heated glares being sent his way by the boys from his dorm. He was startled when he suddenly walked right into Ron, who was by now towering over him. Harry eyed the redhead warily and took a step back for good measure. Glancing around quickly, he noted the rest of the common room was empty. The upper years were probably still in the library or study halls working for their finals, while the younger years were in bed. Harry gulped as the group of three (Neville wasn't there) made a semi circle in front of him, blocking his way to the dormitory.

"So, little fag, how was your evening with Snapey?" Seamus spat venomously, glaring from Ron's right. Dean Thomas stood glaring icily from the redhead's left. "Bet you lost Gryffindor a ton of points, didn't you?" Harry shook his head, his mouth had gone dry. He was eyeing the curled up piece of parchment in Ron's right fist. It looked scarily familiar.

"Recognise it, do ya?" Ron asked as he raised his fist, bringing it close to Harry's face. "Yeah, we found it in your bed, you little ponce. I could have forgiven you for being a nancy boy, but _this_ is too disgusting for words!" The other two boys nodded vigorously at that and made grimaces.

_'Oh, shit. It must have fallen out of my notebook when I put it away,'_ Harry thought miserably. _'I wonder which one it is…' _

"Taking it up the arse is about as un-Gryffindor as you can get," Seamus stated seriously. "But taking it from a _Slytherin!_ Don't you have _any_ morals or standards, Potter?"

"Not just a Slytherin, but a Malfoy no less!" Ron bellowed suddenly. He was as red as his hair by now, vibrating with the need to hurt his former best friend. _'Ok… so, obviously one I drew of Malfoy then…'_ Harry could hardly do anything as the insults continued to hit him; they were three, he was one. He had faced Voldemort last year, but that had been in a fair duel… sort of. The sudden right-hook from Ron was anything but fair.

Through the haze of pain and redness Harry dimly heard words like _'freak' _and _'sick bastard'_, and so he naturally assumed he was at Privet Drive. He therefore let the fists pummel him into the floor as he usually did when Vernon felt like beating the magic out of him. He lay very still when everything was finished, because if he moved too soon Vernon would decide he hadn't learnt his lesson. As he bled, the red blood seeping and disappearing in the deep red carpet, he vaguely thought: _'I probably deserved that.'_

When things had been quiet for a safe amount of time Harry tried to keep his groans to a minimum as he climbed to his feet and limped towards the dorms. It was thankfully empty, but it took a while for him to get up the stairs. _'Not so bad, though, Vernon packs a meaner punch than all those three put together. And with Dudley they could have beaten a wizard in a physical fight any day of the week. It's probably their weight… also probably why Dudley likes to sit on me a lot.'_

Putting away such thoughts Harry got into bed, but not before removing his clothes first. He knew first hand that leaving them on would make it very painful peeling them off his dried wounds in the morning. _'That was a painful lesson to learn,' _he thought morosely as he gingerly got in bed, above the covers. _'I hope they ripped up that picture…'_ was the last thought that seeped through his mind before he passed out.

xxx

Severus sat as if made of stone in his office, gazing at the dark hole since Potter had wandlessly, and perhaps even unconsciously, spelled the curtains closed. Merlin's beard! Of all the secrets Severus had hoped, wanted and prayed to discover this was so far off the mark it boggled the mind, and Snape's mind wasn't easy to boggle.

He had been so completely and utterly shocked he had just stared when the three Gryffindor fifth years started beating their star seeker and Chosen One. And Harry's thoughts during and after the pounding were still echoing in his mind. The boy hadn't thought it was too bad! Severus was seriously considering going up there and taking the boy to Madam Pomfrey. Potter would surely have internal bleeding after a session like that!

And the reason for it was even more baffling. It went unspoken that homosexuality wouldn't be welcomed much within the dwindling population of the wizarding community, but Severus would have thought that if anyone could get away with it, then surely the Boy Who Lived could? And it had been his own "open-minded Gryffindor" friends who had rejected him.

The scene stung something deep within Severus he had long ignored. Most likely the episode was eerily similar to one from his own youth. His thoughts were going in so many directions at the same time he was getting a severe headache.

Severus got up from his chair and practically stumbled to his bedchamber after cancelling the Scios Totalus spell. He fell into bed with his clothes on, summoning a sleeping potion from his private collection and drowning it in deep gulps.

His last thought was: _'Where the hell is the son of James Potter? And who is this Harry person?' _

Tbc…

Ps: This is probably going to follow canon events through the end of fifth year (but if you guys want Sirius to live just review and tell me!) Things are definitely going to change for year six. The summer will also obviously be different. Please review and let me know if you think this is all a waste of time… which it basically is because I'm writing this whenever I want to waste an hour or two! (Good way to waste it, you think?)


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm glad people seem to like my idea. This update is faster than expected because my sister demanded another chapter. You can all thank her for all of my stories really, because she's always the one who nags at me to get them done.

**Remember**: If you, for example, want Sirius to live at the end of fifth year, review and TELL me. Or if you'd like him to kick the bucket tell me that too. The general consensus so far is to have him live, but there's still time to put your two cents in. Or tell me exactly how much good-guy bashing you want. Should Dumbles be bad? Should Hermione be nice? Should there be other pairings? Tell me ANYTHING. I'll settle for what the weather's like where you live, seriously.

-:-

_Chapter 2. _

Harry groaned loudly when he awoke. He was aching all over. He quickly realised his mistake when the curtains were yanked apart and an irate Ron Weasley stood glaring down at him.

"Keep it down, Potter," he growled. "We're not going to tolerate your Highness anymore. Seamus had the right idea from the start. You're all about attention. Well, I'm not gonna listen to your excuses anymore." He turned sharply and stalked into the bathroom. The other two boys grumbled and spewed insults at Harry as they too walked passed his bed. Harry just lay there as still as possible. He turned his head slowly and managed to stretch a hand for his wand on the table.

A quick _tempus_ told him he was probably going to be late for class due to his injuries. Which would cost him points, which would earn him another thrashing most likely. He closed his eyes and simply waited for the boys to leave. He thought he heard Neville hesitating, saying something about waiting for him, but the others quickly pulled him along and told him they would explain on the way down.

Harry didn't move once the door was closed. He was trying to will himself not to cry. But the more he lay there the more the reality of what had happened last night came crashing down on him like a wave. He felt as if he was drowning, and when the first sob came he was sure he was choking. He gasped and gulped for breath as he still tried to keep the sobs in, but it was only making him cry harder. He couldn't even turn on his side and curl up, because he knew that would hurt like hell.

Instead he just lay there on his back and tried vainly not to cry over the fact that his closest friends now hated him. The fact that no one else outside their little dorm knew about his sexuality or drawing was no consolation to him. He knew the only reason the boys hadn't told was because they didn't want Harry to ruin the House reputation anymore than he already had with his tales of Voldemort's return. And now Ron probably didn't believe him anymore either.

When he felt he could stand with out breaking down he gingerly and extremely slowly sat up and put his feet on the cold floor. He grit his teeth as he rose and tried not to make a sound even though no one was there to reprimand him. It was habit by now, ingrained by a childhood of tiptoeing to the bathroom to wash away blood during the nights at the Dursleys'. He hobbled to the bathroom, grabbing a school uniform on the way and stood in front of the mirror, using the sink to steady himself.

_'Shit, it's been awhile since I had these kinds of bruising,'_ he mused as he looked over his torso. It was practically purple all over; a fair amount of red in places too. _'Not since the first day back last summer… he's always worst on the first day back. Afterwards he usually lets me heal and then sets me to work. This kind of beating would only make me work slower… and of course he would never hit me of the day before school starts. Wouldn't want anyone to suspect now, would we?'_ Harry was aware of how bitter his thoughts were, but he couldn't help it. _'Won't he be surprised when I come home all nice and bruised up already? He'll probably be delighted.'_

He turned on the tap and let the water warm to a comfortable temperature. He slowly cupped his hands under the tap and then bent down to splash it on his face. About halfway there his body went rigid with pain and he cried out. Water spilled onto the floor as his hands grabbed the sink so tightly his chuckles went white. He stood there shaking and not knowing what to do. He tried righting himself, but the smallest movement made him cry out again.

_'Bloody fuck, now what?'_ he thought desperately. His eyes were beginning to sting with tears again, but he refused to let them fall. He would not stand in the bathroom crying like some girl over a little pain. Some nancy boy… Ron's harsh words started echoing in his mind, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he suddenly recalled their laughter while beating him.

After a long moment of simply standing there and _breathing_ Harry thought he might try again. Classes had surly started ages ago, but perhaps he could make the next one if he just pulled himself together. He could stand up straight damn it!

"Ah!" he cried out at the same tiniest movement just like before. The cry turned into a sob halfway through and he bowed his head in shame at his own pathetic existence. He found out he couldn't even bow his head properly because of the pain, and only managed a little tip of the head. He sobbed again and clung to the sink, his legs shaking with the effort of holding himself in the same exact position for so long. Tears fell copiously now, landing in the sink and disappearing down the drain. Harry felt like following them.

xxx

Severus watched as the group of Gryffindors and Slytherins walked into the classroom. He eyed Weasley, Finnigan and Thomas especially, taking note of the way they kept whispering at Longbottom, who was frowning at them with something unidentifiable in his eyes.

"Sit down!" Severus barked at them and they quickly separated. Weasley sat beside Granger, who had been engrossed in a book up until that moment and hadn't noticed a thing. It was then Severus realised Potter was nowhere to be seen. "Where is Potter, Weasley?" he asked sharply. The redhead had the audacity to shrug.

"I dunno," he said. This made Granger frown and look at her friend oddly. Severus could tell she wanted to ask, but would never speak out of turn in class, even to whisper about the whereabouts of her best friend.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your cheek and twenty more for Potter's absence," Snape rattled off and ignored the groans from the lions, something he usually took great satisfaction in. He was too busy noting the cold gleam in the fifth year boys as they all, except Longbottom, exchanged glances. "Get to work!" he ordered as he waved his wand at the board. The instructions appeared and he watched without really seeing them as the students hastened to comply. He had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

As the students set about brewing the potion for the day all Severus could think of was _'Where is Potter?'_ Had the boy simply skipped class? After the beating last night perhaps that wasn't so surprising, but Severus still felt angry that the brat hadn't gone to Pomfrey, for surely she would have notified him if the boy had! Still arrogant, then, despite the little gleam of – was it hope? No, not really – something that had sparked in Severus last night. He had thought _perhaps_ Potter was different than he had thought, but obviously he wasn't, despite being cut down to size by his dorm mates.

Severus almost cringed at his own thoughts. Potter hadn't deserved that, no matter how arrogant. And still that feeling in his stomach grew. He needed to know where Potter was, that was the only way to make the feeling go away, he was sure of it, but not sure why. He nearly slapped himself on the head right there in class when he remembered the Scios Totalus. He could just go into his office and check for Merlin's sake!

"I need to take care of something. Mr. Malfoy, make sure no one does anything foolish." The blond boy smirked as he was given the honour, but Severus hardly saw it. He quickly left through the door leading directly to his office and made sure to cast silencing charms on it. He hurried over to his desk and didn't bother sitting down, just cast the spell on the surface.

Harry Potter was revealed, in all his bruised splendour, sobbing uncontrollably and clutching desperately at the sink in front of him. Severus grimaced at the sight of the horrible purple marks, courtesy of the boy's friends, against the sickly pale complexion. Severus realised he had never seen Potter take a swim in the lake during the few warm days. The boy _always_ covered himself with full robes, even when others at least took off the outer robe and rolled up the sleeves on their shirts.

"Audite Totalus," Severus muttered at the image and Harry's thoughts instantly came to his mind.

_'Ow, ow, ow, ow. Fuck, this is not working! Stop crying you big baby! Get a fucking grip! Just stand up! Stand, stand, stand-' _Even as Potter chanted Severus could see he was trying to move, but the second he righted himself more than an inch he cried out and bowed back to the original position.

"Stupid stubborn Gryffindor," Severus muttered angrily. There were other ways to get out of that position. The most logical being; ask for help. Severus knew of the insane house elf that practically worshipped the ground Potter walked on. Even if it now worked for Hogwarts, it would surely listen to Potter's cry for help. But no; the brat was going to prove Severus right and be arrogant. Even as Severus thought this he knew deep down it was a lie. Potter's situation was not easy, and not his fault.

But what to do? He couldn't just walk up to the Gryffindor dorm and rescue Potter. There would be too many questions. And he knew, even if he didn't admit it out loud, that he wouldn't leave the boy like that. Again the answer slapped him in the face. It was so simple it was practically Slytherin.

Severus flicked his wand and the image of a sobbing Potter faded from his desk. He turned and stalked over to the fireplace, where he gracefully sank to his knees and took some floopowder out of a ceramic jar standing beside it. Throwing it in he waited for his head to appear in Dumbledore's fireplace. The Headmaster was thankfully in his office reading papers. He looked up when the floo flared.

"Severus? Don't you have class?"

"Yes, I do, Albus," Severus stated, letting his voice fill with irritation he was strangely _not_ feeling. "But I just thought you should know, you're favourite brat is missing."

"Harry's missing?" Dumbledore asked at once, worry showing in his eyes immediately. "Explain."

"He didn't come to class and Weasley doesn't know where he is, nor does any of the other Gryffindors apparently. I just thought you'd like to know. So, if that is all I'll just get back to my class-" Severus started pulling back even as he spoke.

"Wait," Dumbledore made him pause. "If you are sure he is missing then we must find him at once Severus. Voldemort could have planted something in his mind already." Severus sighed a very convincing putout sigh and nodded regretfully.

"I will look for him if you wish," he said. "Since you always prefer me to save the boy's hide." Dumbledore nodded gravely.

"You are the best at finding hidden things Severus. Be quick." Severus nodded once curtly and pulled back into his own office. He shook his head to himself. Had he always manipulated Dumbledore so easily? That had been easier than the Dark Lord… surely the old coot had not seen anything in Severus' eyes. No, he was certain the Headmaster knew nothing. There had been no obvious twinkle at least.

He rose and cast the Scios Totalus spell once more just to be sure. There was Potter, now only sniffling, though his whole body was vibrating from the effort of holding still. Foolish boy. Severus quickly flicked the image away and stalked out of his office, using the door leading directly to the corridor.

Severus would never admit it, but he had never reached the upper levels of the castle so quickly in his entire life. He entered the Tower using the password all the professors knew regardless of House, and quickly made his way to the fifth year dormitories. He opened the door to the bathroom. Potter's horribly bruised back was facing him, but their eyes met through the mirror.

"Professor!" Potter cried, and then cried out once more in pain as he automatically tried to right and cover himself. He flailed as his muscles spasm-ed and lost his grip on the sink, causing him to move again and thereby causing even more pain. Severus was rushing forward before he knew it and caught Potter's thin body as it finally toppled over. The boy groaned, cried and sobbed all in one it seemed, the sound almost as bad as the cries from torture victims of the Dark Lord's.

"Lie still," Severus ordered, his voice firm, but soft for some reason. Potter blinked up through his tears at the man holding him.

"Professor Snape?" he asked disbelievingly. "No, let me go," he suddenly protested, but the moment he strained against Severus' grip he groaned again.

"For Merlin's sake Potter. Stay still. I'm going to use magic to carry you down to the Hospital Wing because that will keep you still."

"No, please, don't let- ah! Let anyone see me!" Potter cried. Severus rolled his eyes.

"I won't hover you in front of me clothed only in your boxers, you idiot boy," Severus said. They both seemed to realise what exactly Harry was wearing at the same time, and the boy blushed, causing Severus' heart to flutter strangely at the down-turned eyes, the black lashes against the pale cheeks. The moment was gone as soon as it came.

"Please, just let me go," Potter whined pathetically and Severus' malicious side came through immediately. He abruptly righted both himself and Potter, causing the boy to spasm in pain again and fall forward. Severus caught him round the waist.

"Anymore stupid questions, Potter?" Severus asked sarcastically even as Potter continued to shudder in pain.

"No!" the Gryffindor croaked through his new tears. Severus realised he must be both causing pain and alleviating it as he was no doubt pressing against a fair amount of bruises. He wouldn't be surprised if ribs were broken. He wanted to reprimand the boy for thinking more about appearances than his own health. Then a thought occurred to him; he had been wrong before… was that really what the boy was thinking about? His image? And that blush had been interesting. He quickly and silently cast the thought hearing spell.

_'Just kill me now, please. The Cruciatus was easier, at least you were too out of it to feel the humiliation on top of it all. God, and the worst is that I deserve it! Every second. Snape _should_ hover me through the school. It would serve me right for looking into that damned pensive!'_

Severus blinked. The Cruciatus? He had not bothered to listen to the details of the boy's last encounter with the Dark Lord. He had been through the Cruciatus!? And the boy thought he deserved the pain and humiliation… he was actually sorry for invading Severus' privacy. The idea was so shocking Severus nearly forgot the hurting boy in his arms, but then more of Potter's thoughts interrupted his musings.

_'Oh, please do something at least. I can't bear to just lie here helpless in your arms like this, practically naked.'_ Severus felt his own face flush; thankful Potter couldn't see it, when he heard his student _thinking_ the word naked. He quickly pointed his wand at Potter and cast a mobilicorpus spell. Potter practically screamed as he was positioned horizontally in front of Severus.

_'I was wrong. This is even worse!' _

"Shut up, child," Severus scolded, referring to the cries of pain and thoughts. His voice was again soft. "I'm going to put you into a magic coma since I don't have pain-killers on hand. Don't worry, no one will see you." Severus had no idea why he added that last bit. Just as he cast the spell he heard Potter's last conscious thoughts.

_'Merlin, I hope he doesn't try and get back at me for the pensive by looking in my trunk… if he ever found those drawings….' _Severus was a little miffed Potter would think so little of him… then again the boy had little cause to think anything else. But what Potter thought of him wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that he _didn't _look in the trunk for the drawings… even though yesterday he probably would have. It was stupid and irrational since the Scios Totalus was a hundred times worse, but he still didn't look in the trunk.

He used the floo in the common room after covering Harry with the boy's robe and brought them both directly to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey's exclamation of shock upon seeing the battered body really said things much better than Severus' own thoughts ever could.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin, my sister is a demanding b-… witch. ;-)

A big thank you to those who took the time to review. You make fanfiction great! Most people like to have Sirius alive, but one reviewer, Yashida, pointed out all the potential angst… I'm going to keep my decision secret for now…

Not many have commented on anything else they would like to see. I believe someone said something about an evil Dumbledore, but again there is still time so keep those opinions coming! I'm having a hard time deciding on Hermione. Some help with that please? And how do you guys feels about Draco?

**Note (an important one)**: I know that Umbridge has by the time of 'Snape's Worst Memory' in the book already taken over the school. For the sake of this story, let's pretend that happens right around that chapter okey? That really fits in too nicely. Remember, this is fanfiction so I get to do what I want! Just don't review and tell me I'm somehow 'wrong' about when the Bitch(!) takes over Hogwarts, because I already know. Thanks.

-:-

_Chapter 3. _

Harry felt warm and soft all over, which was nice for a change. There weren't any sounds of his dorm mates getting ready either. In fact everything was very quiet. He breathed in deeply through his nose and snuggled further into the soft bed. That's when he noticed it. The smell. A smell he would forever be able to identify. The smell of the Hospital Wing; a mixture of cleaning and medicinal potions, along with that open room smell, telling him he wasn't in the small confines of his bed or dorm, but in the large hall with many white beds.

He didn't need to open his eyes, either, to know someone else was there, waiting for him to wake up. He had all to often woken up to someone waiting for him. This time, though, he let the person wait. He had become rather skilled in pretending to sleep so as to avoid the Dragon Lady's attention.

Harry's mind went back over the events that had landed him here. He recalled Snape finding him in the bathroom, which was odd, he thought. What was Snape doing in the Tower at all? He should have been teaching class. It was a puzzle Harry had no hope of figuring out. He hated the man as much as the nasty Potions Master hated him... despite a certain hobby- Suddenly the image of Snape holding him sprang to mind… Snape had been both cruel and gentle… which just fitted in nicely with the enigma that was Severus Snape.

Recalling the way his back had smarted when Snape had righted him forcefully Harry tried shifting about a little, pretending to simply be moving in his sleep. Nothing. No pain at all, but that was to be expected. He may not like Madam Pomfrey's bedside manner, but he respected her skills.

"Harry?" The soft voice of his friend startled Harry into opening his eyes. Hermione was sitting in a chair beside his bed, her eyes concerned. She had a book in her lap, no surprise there. Her book bag was beside her on the floor, filled to the brim with more books.

"Hey," Harry said, clearing his voice right after when he heard how weak it sounded. He sat up carefully in bed, just in case he hadn't healed all the way yet. Hermione was frowning at him, her concerned slowly giving way to curiosity.

"How are you feeling?" she asked carefully.

"I'm fine," Harry answered, unable to meet her scrutinizing gaze. He knew she would ask about what had happened.

"Is it true?" Hermione suddenly asked, her voice giving nothing away. Although Harry didn't need to ask what she meant, he still played dumb.

"Is what true?" He picked at invisible lint on the covers.

"Did the boys beat you up because they found out you where having a sordid affair with Malfoy?"

"What?" Harry's head snapped up so fast he thought his back had gone out again. What on earth had Ron told her? He opened his mouth to deny it thoroughly, they were interrupted by a certain pink-wearing, toad-resembling witch named Dolores Umbridge.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, you're awake," Umbridge said brightly as she strolled into the Hospital Wing. Just at that moment Madam Pomfrey came out of her office to check on her patient. Upon seeing the High Inquisitor she hurried to catch up with the witch nearing Harry's bed.

"I'm afraid I must insist that Mr. Potter be allowed to rest a little longer," she said. Harry frowned in confusion at her strangely concerned behaviour. She usually remained professional to a fault. Not she was hurrying alongside Umbridge as if Harry were a son she was desperate to protect. Umbridge didn't even glance her way.

"I'm afraid not, Madam Pomfrey. If Mr. Potter is well enough to sit up and chat with his friend, then he is certainly well enough to speak to me." She stopped at the end of Harry's bed. "Ms. Granger, isn't it? I'm afraid Mr. Potter will have no more visitors. Please leave." Hermione opened her mouth, obviously about to protest, at least Harry thought that until she said:

"Can I leave Harry his homework?" she asked.

"That won't be necessary," Umbridge said in her usual brisk tone, but Harry still didn't like the way she said it. Hermione blinked and then bent to pick up her bag. She didn't even glance at Harry as she exited the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was still hovering beside Harry's bed. She looked like she was desperate to protest again on behalf of Harry.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, looking from one to the other.

"Mr. Potter, you were no doubt unconscious already when it happened, so I shall enlighten you," Umbridge declared, a sickly sweet smile gracing her lips. Harry almost gagged. "I have been named Headmistress of Hogwarts."

"What? What about Dumbledore?" Harry exclaimed immediately. "Where is he?" Dumbledore hadn't really left him without a word had he? While Harry was unconscious? He could at least have left a letter of some sort, but there was nothing by Harry's bed.

"The man resisted the Ministry's attempt to take him in for questioning concerning a certain Army… do you know anything about that Mr. Potter?" Harry shook his head. The Army had stopped meeting after Seamus, Ron and Dean had discovered his secret. Or rather, Seamus had discovered it and then triumphantly told the other two that they were being taught by a poof. That had been almost a month ago.

"No matter," Umbridge continued. She was fingering a scroll almost excitedly. Harry had a hard time deciding if he really could stand to look at the woman's face, so his eyes kept darting down to it. "I have more to inform you about."

"You must wait until he is fully healed," Madam Pomfrey interrupted. "He-"

"You must be a student of this school to receive treatment from it," Umbridge spoke over the Healer and Harry's stomach plummeted. He stared dumbly as Umbridge gleefully unrolled the scroll in her hands. "Mr. Harry James Potter. You are hereby _expelled_, without the ability for an appeal, from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You have twenty-four hours to remove your person and all your belongings from the grounds. Since you are underage, your wand will be taken from you and _broken_." Umbridge kept her sweet smile as she showed Harry the expulsion papers. Harry's expression remained empty, reflecting his emotions. He didn't move to take the scroll.

"On what grounds?" Pomfrey insisted. She looked close to tears, but Harry didn't see them. Umbridge looked only too happy to inform her.

"On the grounds of fighting with several fellow students, suspicion of creating an _illegal_ society, having too many detentions within one term to qualify for exams-"

"That's ludicrous! He doesn't have that many!" Pomfrey exclaimed.

"The maximum _amount,_" Umbridge said pointedly, casting the smallest of glares at Pomfrey for interrupting her. "Of detentions a student can have has just been lowered, and Mr. Potter has, I believe, two more than allowed…. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, also on the list of _crimes_ is indecent exposure-"

"What?" Harry suddenly found his voice again. He wasn't sure if his hearing was working. None of his extremities seemed to be functioning, and his sight was a little blurry. He felt like melted wax and a block of ice at the same time.

"A student complained, a _male_ student, that he was receiving unwelcome attention from Mr. Potter. I will not tolerate such licentious behaviour at Hogwarts. And that, I believe, is all. Oh, but of course, we mustn't forget!" She held out her hand as if she were offering candy to a little boy. "Your wand." Harry's eyes automatically scanned his bedside table. It wasn't there. He looked to Madam Pomfrey.

"It wasn't with you when you arrived," she said quietly, her eyes filled with unshed tears. Harry frowned, trying to remember the last time he had used his wand, but he couldn't. Everything was shrouded in a hazy mist, even his memories. Umbridge made a clucking sound of impatience.

"I will meet you in the Entrance Hall when you leave, Mr. Potter. Have your wand then." With that she turned around and strolled out of the room. Harry stared after her.

"Where will I go?" he asked nobody in particular. Back to the Dursleys probably. Without his wand he would be an easy target, so he needed the blood protection. The moment he was seventeen, however, he was as good as dead. Pomfrey let out a choked sob and Harry's eyes shifted to her. He wanted to ask where Dumbledore was. How could the wizard have let this happen? Given the school over to that toad? "Thank you for healing my back," he said instead. That was apparently the last straw for the medi-witch, because she broke down and bawled into a quickly produced handkerchief. She turned and fled to her office after trying to apologies through her tears.

Harry walked back to the Tower in the Hospital Wing pyjamas, his feet bare.

xxx

Severus sat rubbing his temples; sitting slouched in his office chair. He sighed tiredly for what must have been the millionth time. Things couldn't possibly be worse, could they?

Dumbledore gone, that horrid woman as Headmistress, and Harry Potter expelled. He couldn't even appeal. Apparently the Governors could decide for themselves if they cared to listen to a student's appeal, and Severus had no doubt who exactly was very keen to let Potter leave unheard.

And now the boy was practically as good as dead already. Without a wand it was only a matter of time before Voldemort found a way through the blood wards, or simply decided to wait until they were no longer effective. Severus really wished Dumbledore had picked another time to disappear.

Then there were the things Severus had heard from Potter's mind with the help of the Scios Totalus. He didn't like the sound of those relatives. And for some reason his stomach grew uneasy when he thought of Potter going back there. But there was nothing he could do. It was out of his hands. Dumbledore would just have to try and fix things when he got back. It was only Severus job to protect the brat if Dumbledore told him specifically. And that was _final_.

Still, one last look wouldn't hurt? He waved his wand over his desk, muttering both the viewing and hearing spell. Potter appeared, in pyjamas, staring down at his open trunk. The other students were still at dinner, luckily. For some reason Severus felt a stab in his chest at the completely _empty_ look on Potter's face. It was like the very will to live had gone from the usually fierce Gryffindor.

_'I should probably get dressed,' _Potter thought, but made no move to do so. _'I need to get out of here tonight. Now. If the guys come back and find me here they'll kill me. Maybe I should just let them? Or better yet get Malfoy to take me to his father. I'm sure Lucius would be only too happy to present me to old Voldy. At least that way I'll go out with a scream…' _

Severus watched as Potter finally began dressing, though he glanced away during the brief moment of complete nakedness. The boy put on overly large clothes, worn and grey, and packed the rest of his stuff slowly, as if savouring each item. He folded what was obviously an invisibility cloak (here Severus made a small triumphant noise at the back of his throat) and stuffed it in his pocket, the thin material making it fit easily in the outsized jeans. From under his mattress he pulled out a thin, though sizeable notebook with many loose pages stuffed inside it. These were obviously his drawings. He put that in the trunk too. He stuffed his wand away quickly in his back pocket, then went to the window. The moment he opened it a beautiful white owl landed.

"Hey, girl," Potter said softly, stroking the bird. "Looks like I'm going back to the Dursleys' a little early." The owl hooted sympathetically. "Think you can get back there on your own?" The owl hooted once, nipped affectionately at Potter's cheek and then flew off. Potter grabbed his trunk and headed for the door without a backwards glance.

_'Well, I guess this is goodbye,'_ Potter's thoughts became clear again when he reached the Entrance Hall. He eyed the door to the Great Hall warily as he listened to the students within. _'You'll always be my first home.'_ Severus realised Potter was speaking to Hogwarts itself, and actually felt a strange urge to go up and say goodbye. Hogwarts had always been his only home too… but he had been given the opportunity to come back…

_'I'll miss you… I wonder if I have time to go down to Hagrid's?. He may be able to give me some advice-' _Potter's thoughts were interrupted when the door to the Great Hall opened just enough for Umbridge to step out. Harry unconsciously straightened his back. Her heels made an awful clicking sound as she practically skipped towards him.

"Mr. Potter, do you have your wand now?" Harry's jaw was set as he roughly pulled out his holly wand and thrust it into her waiting hands. She studied it for a moment. "This will be destroyed by the proper authorities. Please leave now, Mr. Potter."

_'So long, bitch. At least I don't have to deal with you or your torture devices,' _Potter thought bitterly, making Severus frown down in his office. Torture devices? He didn't have time to think more about it because Potter just dragged his trunk out of the castle. Severus watched as Potter marched, almost proudly, but perhaps only desperate not to seem defeated, across the grounds towards the gate. He glanced back only once, his thoughts focusing on how grotesquely marred the image of Hogwarts was with that pink smudge framed by the entrance. With one last bitter, sad and silent farewell Potter turned and left down the road to Hogsmade to catch the Express back to London.

Severus cancelled the spell. The silence of the office surrounded him. The whole castle seemed suddenly so very much quieter than a few seconds ago… he wondered why exactly that was.

-:-

Poor Harry… please don't kill me! At least this way both Dumbledore and Hermione can still go either way… which would you prefer?


	4. Chapter 4

Hello all. I stayed up half the night writing an essay I completely forgot about! I turned it in now, though, so I thought I'd reward myself (and my readers) by writing something fun!

Thanks to all who took the time to give me their opinion and praise. I can't believe I got 21 reviews for the last chapter alone! It always keeps me going. I've never been one to take requests like this from readers, but I find I'm actually having a lot of fun trying to come up with ways to get all the stuff you want in the story.

So far on the big (and rather nice) chart I've made:

Sirius: Alive (6) Dead (2)

Hermione: Good (16) Evil (1)

Dumbles: Good (10) Evil (2)

Draco: Good (4) Evil (0!!)

I think I've counted correctly. I've also received other requests (for example to pair Sirius and Remus). Bear in mind that I can't please everybody at once and there are a few plot points I have to write no matter what because otherwise this story's actual plot would get lost.

-:-

_Chapter 4. _

Harry made his way to Hogsmade and, as "luck" would have it, the train was leaving in about three hours. It only went every other day as traffic between Hogsmade and the rest of Britain wasn't that big. But families did like to make outings to London on occasion, and sometimes kids needed to go home early from school.

He sat on a bench at the station, staring at the rails beyond the edge of the platform. His mind conjured up the image of flinging himself in front of the Express. He shook himself. There was no point in killing himself over something like this. He was still a Gryffindor at heart, he would simply survive, like he always did, and take things as they come…

Which led him to the Dursleys. Harry wasn't exactly looking forward to ringing on their doorbell in the middle of April, but where else could he go? He had no way on contacting anyone in the wizarding world. He cursed himself for sending Hedwig off. He had been too preoccupied with getting out before Ron got back from dinner. Sirius would surely still welcome him at Grimmauld Place, wouldn't he? Harry was still Sirius' godson, despite not being a wizard anymore. Harry bit his lip as he pictured Sirius' lip curling in disgust and disappointment. _"Your father and I got hundreds of detentions, but we made sure not to get expelled Harry! How could you do that? You're a disgrace to your parents!"_

No, Sirius wouldn't say things like that. But whatever Sirius would or would not say was irrelevant, because Harry had no place to go but back to Privet Drive. He couldn't take in somewhere else in hope of contacting someone soon, because he was a sitting duck without a wand… he wouldn't go to the Weasleys… he couldn't, didn't dare, in case Ron found out and outed him to the whole Weasley clan. They had a feud going with the Malfoys, and Ron was sure to tell them all about Harry's "affair".

Harry sat brooding, his thoughts leading him to the depths of despair and back several times before the train finally arrived. He had enough money for the train and hopefully the Knight bus back to Privet Drive. The whole ride was spent staring out of the window, but without really seeing it. The only thing he could see was Umbridge's gleeful smile as some Auror snapped his wand…

xxx

Severus had been trying to contact Dumbledore all evening, but it would be easier to get in contact with Merlin himself using muggle séance techniques. Umbridge had wasted no time in taking over the school completely, and by the end of dinner no student was in doubt that Dumbledore's reign of sunshine and butterflies was at an end.

Severus had tried convincing Umbridge that he wanted to be present during the destruction of Potter's wand, but his rather blatant hatred towards her through the year hadn't exactly made her warm to give him anything.

He had sat all night brooding, wondering what he was supposed to do. He had always liked to consider himself independent and strong, but in reality that was a load of rubbish, and he was only now beginning to realise he was lost without Dumbledore's, or in the past Voldemort's, orders.

The sun was surely rising by now, and Potter was no doubt back in Surrey. Severus got up from the couch in his living room and locked himself in his office. He made himself comfortable at least physically and cast the spells needed to activate the Scios Totalus…

…

Harry was shaken awake roughly. He hadn't gotten much sleep on the Knight bus, and now the blazing sun was mocking him. He stumbled off the bus and squinted around blearily. He couldn't be sure he was on the right street because they all looked the same. The bus had been surprisingly full of people going all over the place. Harry had been a little miffed at that after the long train ride, but now he wished he was still on the bus.

_'No point in putting off the inevitable,'_ Harry groused inwardly and set off down the street after checking the name, which was correct. He dragged his trunk heavily behind him and counted the numbers on the houses as if he was counting down to his own execution. There was number 4, in all its _splendour_. Harry took a deep breath before walking up the gravel path.

The knock, sounding to Harry as if it was signalling his doom, was a little weak, but the people inside seemed to have heard it nonetheless. The door swung open imperiously and revealed Vernon Dursley himself. He must have just gotten up because his beady eyes narrowed for a long moment before going slightly wide in recognition.

"What are you doing here, boy?" he barked. Harry gulped, cursing his continuing luck that he caught the man before he had gone to work. Why hadn't he checked the time before he knocked? Oh, yeah, he didn't have a wand to cast _tempus_ with, and he had never bothered with a wristwatch.

"Uncle Vernon," Harry greeted, trying his best to keep his voice completely level. _"What should I say?'_ he thought desperately, and then it came to him, clear as the irritating sun. "I've been kicked out of school," he declared, voice surprisingly neutral. Vernon blinked. Back in his office Snape was on the edge of his seat.

"What?" the man asked, probably sure he must have heard wrong. "Wait- Petunia!" Harry cringed just as Vernon turned to yell into the house. Soon his aunt came into the hall from the kitchen and her eyes widened immediately upon spotting Harry.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, stepping in front of Vernon and grabbing the door, holding it ready to shut in Harry's face no doubt. She looked up and down the street.

"I've been kicked out of school," Harry repeated. "I'm not a wizard after all." This time both of the Dursleys blinked.

"What?" Petunia this time.

"Apparently I'm no good as a wizard. I don't have any magic left so they sent me home." Harry was amazed at how sincere he sounded, as if he had never done anything but lied all his life.

"They sent you- you don't have any-" Petunia's voice dropped to a whisper, "magic left?" Harry nodded several times.

"They broke my wand," he added for good measure. That would surely get them to let him in. Petunia seemed to debate with herself for a moment then, with another glance up and down the street, she let go of the door.

"Well, get in before the neighbours see. In the kitchen!" Harry readily complied, surprised they hadn't told him to get lost and take care of himself. He dragged his trunk into the kitchen and turned to face his relatives again. He wondered if Dudley had gone off to school yet… probably still sleeping.

"Now," Petunia began, lifting her nose slightly. "If they really kicked you out," Harry nodded again, "then you must swear a few things to us if you want to live here the whole year round." Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes at their predictability. He hoped they were too stupid to ask for much. Just the usual chores and stuff. Maybe Vernon wouldn't beat him as much if he had to work all the time? _'Yeah right, with my luck?' _

"You will do everything we tell you to _without argument_," Petunia stressed. "You will _stay quietly_ in your room at all other times, and you will _not under any circumstances_ do magic in this house again, is that clear?"

"Yes, aunt Petunia," Harry said dutifully, meeting her narrowed eyes to make sure she didn't think he was lying. "I can't do magic anymore so that's not a problem." Both Dursleys still looked _highly_ suspicious of him, but he supposed they would always be that, no matter what.

"What about the boy's trunk?" Vernon spoke up, nodding towards it. Harry glanced down at it. Was there really any point in keeping the old books or other school supplies? Even if he somehow miraculously got another wand, he would never go to Hogwarts again, so there was no point in keeping it. Still, his voice wavered for the first time since he knocked when he spoke.

"You can burn everything in it," he said as he gazed down at it. "Except one thing." He had his cloak in his pocket, along with his Gringotts key, and he had left his firebolt in the Quiddith shed and his album in the bedside table in his daze upon leaving, so there was only one other thing he needed. Petunia and, perhaps especially, Vernon looked positively gleeful at the prospect. And seeing Harry's defeated look, took it to be a sure sign the boy would never be off to the freak school again. Harry crouched down and opened the trunk. He pulled out his notebook of drawings, the thing that was the cause of his expulsion really, but still remained something he would not part with, perhaps because of that fact.

"What is that?" Petunia asked, her eyes suspicious again in an instant.

"My notebook," Harry said, racking his head for another good story. He was obviously having a creative day. "One of the reasons they decided I wasn't magical enough. My drawings don't move, but wizards drawings are supposed to," '_after you add a spell of course,'_ he added in his mind, smirking inwardly when the Dursleys seemed to relax even further.

"Let's get one thing straight, boy," Vernon suddenly said, pointed a chubby finger straight in Harry's face. Harry didn't flinch or draw away; that chubby finger was hardly a threat compared to the rest of the man. If Vernon was about to inflict punishment he would be staring at a fist right about now. "If you so much as put a _toe_ out of line I'll have you're head. We've put up with you far longer than we should have to. In fact we shouldn't have had to put up with you _at all_, but as it is, you're going to earn your keep. When you turn sixteen I'm getting you a proper job, outside the house, is that clear?"

"Yes, uncle Vernon," Harry said quietly. _'A muggle job? Well, it's all I can look forward to now, isn't it?'_

"And you'll still do your chores of course, _on time_." Harry nodded again, actually longing to go up to his crappy room. The Dursleys eyed him a moment longer and then Petunia nodded decisively.

"I'm going to wake up Dudders. Breakfast better be ready by the time he comes down," she declared. Vernon smiled grimly at that, probably looking forward to all the breakfasts Harry was going to cook from now on, not to mention all the other meals. Petunia turned and left, Harry heard her walking up the stairs. _'Petunia still hasn't become a decent cook then?'_ Harry wondered. The fat whale of a man took Harry's trunk and stuffed it into the cupboard under the stairs. He would be "taking care of it" after work. With one last beady-eyed glare he left Harry alone in the kitchen.

_'Home sweet home,'_ he thought in his most bitter tone yet. Heaving a great sigh, he stuffed his notebook on top of the refrigerator since none of them would be getting anything from there this morning, thanks to Harry. He lost himself in the mundane task he had done so many times in his life, starting at just four years old when he could barely reach the stove. _'Merlin, how many times did I burn myself? And to think, people all assume I only have one scar…'_

…

Severus kept watching as Harry's thoughts became illegible, whirling and simply becoming images. Snape cancelled the hearing spell since the images in his mind prevented him from viewing Harry in person. He gazed with an expression that was _bordering_ on concern, but he didn't realise this himself, and if he had he would have quickly put on his scowl.

Harry Potter was not the Boy Who Lived, as the whole of wizarding Britain had assumed all these years. He was in fact, a house elf. And wasn't that just the best scenario Severus could have imagined? Hadn't he on several occasions pictured Harry getting his just desserts? Well, what could be more fitting then having Harry Potter serving others, instead of them all fawning over him?

But there was something very wrong with the picture. At first Severus couldn't quite put his finger on why he wasn't smirking with glee and rubbing his hands together. Then it struck him as he watched a disgustingly obese boy bounce into the kitchen, probably making it shake. He was most likely either Potter's cousin, or the personification of gluttony. For once, Severus wasn't entirely sure. The boy slapped Potter so hard on the back the thinner boy was almost folded onto the stove in front of him.

And what did Potter do? Nothing. He merely mumbled something, possibly 'good morning,' though Severus hadn't mastered the art of lip-reading. And then Potter went back to cooking. That was the problem: this was a house elf, in every sense, not the 'Harry Potter is forced to work for his relatives, serves him right' scenario, but the 'Harry Potter _accepts_ his status as house elf completely, unquestionably, without an ounce of Gryffindor rebellion visible in him.' What of his thoughts? Snape hurriedly applied the spell again.

"So they kicked you out?" Gluttony asked.

"Yeah," Harry replied emotionlessly. The whale of a boy smirked evilly.

"Hurry up with that bacon," he said, choosing his stomach over taunting, for the moment. Harry actually worked faster, setting the table and frying an egg as well after he enquired if Dudley would like one.

Potter's thoughts were still indecipherable as he worked. Snape watched as breakfast was eaten by the whale and then as Potter cleaned up while the aunt sent off her precious offspring to school. He watched as Potter was finally released to go to his room, while the aunt made a list of things he was to do.

Finally, Potter fell onto his tiny bed, tiny even for Harry. _'Wonder where Hedwig is? I need to write to Sirius. I'm out of practice doing this all through the year…'_ Potter repositioned himself on his side, his face was finally betraying an emotion. It was possibly the most sad and pathetic face Severus had ever seen. He did not take any joy in it. He couldn't remember ever seeing it on Potter, which, considering what the boy had gone through, was saying a lot. Perhaps he had glimpsed it after Diggory's death once.

_'Maybe I should just stay here,'_ Potter was now thinking, making Severus frown deeply. _'Sirius probably doesn't want a fag around who's not even a wizard anymore. The only thing that made me special is gone. I'm just Harry again now…. But that's good, isn't it? That's what I told Hagrid when he came with my letter. I couldn't be a wizard, and now I'm not. Ron hates me now that he found out the truth about me. He's probably ecstatic that I'm gone… he would get along famously with the Dursleys… maybe they had the right idea all along. Why would anyone ever want to bother with me? I should just leave Sirius alone…'_

Severus had to cancel the spell then, because Potter had suddenly gasped and buried his head in the pillow. Merlin, he had pictured so many things he would find out with the Scios Totalus, but a sobbing Gryffindor was not one of them. He rested his head in his hands and simply breathed. He tried clearing his thoughts, but the sound of Harry's choked sob would not leave his ears.

Harry Potter thought himself worthless. Severus squeezed his eyes shut, the realisations hitting him with such force he pressed a hand to his mouth as if he would vomit. His mind conjured up every single moment he had accused Potter of being an attention-seeker, or said mockingly that he thought so highly of himself.

He suddenly tore open a drawer in his desk and pulled out a piece of parchment roughly. He stabbed his quill in his inkwell and wrote so hastily the receiver would hardly be able to read it, but Severus hoped the gist of it would get across.

_Black. Potter was expelled yesterday afternoon. Dumbledore gone from Hogwarts. Umbridge- _

That was as far as he got, because at that moment his floo flared and he looked up to see the face of Albus Dumbledore hovering in the green flames.

"Severus, I must be quick," Dumbledore said urgently. '_Fat chance_,' Severus thought.

-:-

Nice, long chapter eh? The scene with the Dursleys was hard to write, but I wanted to use it for Severus' big revelation. In this fic lets pretend Dudley stays at home for school, I can't remember if the books state that Smeltings is a boarding school. I'm thinking it is, but this is so much more "fun" for the story isn't it?

QUESTION FOR REVIEWERS: Would you like horcruxes to be in this fic, or do you want me to come up with an original way to defeat Voldemort? It really doesn't make that much of a difference plot-wise, but I'll let you decide.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for all the reviews. People mainly want me to come up with my own way to kill of Voldemort, a painful way apparently. I have no objections, in fact I'm flattered you would prefer my version… now, I only need to come up with a way! But I've got a few ideas, so don't worry.

-:-

_Chapter 5 _

"Severus, I must be quick," Dumbledore's head said, blue eyes piercing into black. Severus, who had never felt so… undone before in his life just a second ago, tried his best to compose himself so as not to make the wizard suspicious. He would _never_ admit to having found the Scios Totalus, let along used it on Potter.

"Where have you been?" Severus' voice was still hasher than warranted perhaps, and he hastily reigned in his temper and other emotions. Dumbledore still sensed something was wrong, however.

"What has happened?" he asked.

"Potter's been expelled, that's what!" Severus exclaimed before he could stop himself. He sounded more panicked than ever before. He took a deep breath as Dumbledore frowned.

"Oh, dear, that I had not expected…" he paused to gather his thoughts. Severus pictured himself pulling the head out of the flames, dislocating it from the body, wherever it was. It made him feel slightly calmer. "On what grounds exactly Severus?"

"Umbridge and the governors lowered the amount of detentions a student could have and still sit the exams. She also claimed Potter had been fighting other students…" Severus pursed his lips together.

"That's all?" Dumbledore pressed, clearly reading his now former colleague just as easily. Severus felt himself flush for the first time in decades probably.

"Indecent exposure," he replied stiffly. Dumbledore's eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"I assume such claims are false?" he said, only turning it into a question as an after thought. He still didn't wait for Severus to reply, though. "Has his wand been taken? Is it broken?"

"Yes, I was unable to bear witness to the event, but Umbridge was no doubt seen to it, with enthusiasm I don't doubt. He's back at the _muggles' _residence." Severus had to use all his willpower not to snarl the word _relatives_, but settled for using the word muggle. Perhaps his hostility could be contributed to Severus' general disdain for them. Dumbledore took time to ponder once more. Severus' hand kept itching to touch the quill again for some reason, like he was desperate to finish the letter, but he repressed the urge and waited.

"This is very disturbing," Dumbledore murmured. "If his wand is truly broken he is in more danger than ever. If Voldemort finds out he can use his own wand to defeat Harry… He must remain at home until such time as we can get him another wand, but that will be difficult… especially with the Ministry's trace on him until his seventeenth birthday… he's still a magical child so it won't have disappeared." As Dumbledore thought aloud Severus had to bite the inside of his chin to keep from commenting on some of the things the old coot was saying. Harry staying at _home_, indeed. Severus had no doubt in his mind anymore where exactly Harry considered home to be. The boy had said goodbye to it last night.

"What of his education?" Severus spoke up as Dumbledore paused. "We cannot simply wait until he is seventeen, thrust a wand in his hand he has never held, let alone used, and send him out to kill the Dark Lord."

"No, of course not, Severus," Dumbledore said softly, gazing at the Slytherin from over his half-moon spectacles. Severus immediately turned his gaze away before the powerful Legilimens could detect anything. He had never been as good with Occlumency with Dumbledore as with the Dark Lord.

"I need to think and plan a little, but I don't have time for it now. Harry will have to remain with his family for now." Something about the way Dumbledore said _'have to'_ made Severus' eyes narrow. Did the Headmaster know something about how the Dursleys viewed Harry? "I must inform you before I go; I need some of your new Veritaserum, now." Severus didn't question what it was for, but instead went to his storeroom. A part of the shelving looked like an apothecary's shop. The tiny drawers kept ingredients that needed to be kept dry and safe, but not in bottles as they also needed to breathe. He tapped one of the drawers and muttered a complex unlocking charm. A moment later and he was returning to the Headmaster with a tiny vial in his hand. He knelt down by the flames.

"Remember, only one drop… and I have yet to get all the side-effects out so I hope you're not particularly fond of whoever you want to sample it."

"I'm afraid it is necessary, Severus. There can be no doubt on this." Severus nodded, not about to question further, and placed the vial in Dumbledore's beard, a technique they used because Severus couldn't bring himself to put anything in the Headmaster's mouth, no matter how urgent. The lightweight vial was held easily in the slightly curly mass of white, and after a swift 'Goodbye' the Headmaster was gone.

As Severus stood he sighed tiredly. He went over to his desk and stared down at the letter. What was the point in writing now? Black couldn't do anything. Besides, Severus hadn't seen anything very violent in the house yet. A few chores weren't going to kill the boy. He was an insufferably brave and strong Gryffindor, after all. He would persevere. Even as he thought it Severus could hear Harry's muffled sob ringing in his ears. He shook his head to dispel the sound. For all he knew Potter's thoughts could be exaggerating the whole situation! There was no cause for such a disgraceful panic Severus had managed to get himself into. He scowled at himself for overreacting and burned the unfinished letter with a quick spell. He had just sat down, and was about to turn on the Scios Totalus without even really realising he wanted to, when there was a knock at the door.

"Enter," Severus snapped irritably. The door opened to reveal Pansy Parkinson, one of his Slytherins. He absolutely detested her, especially since Draco always wanted to complain to _him_ about her, as if Severus cared one wit about Draco's personal problems. He didn't stop to think why it was he actually listened to the boy most of the time.

"Professor, sir, I have to talk to you," Pansy sounded half-hysteric, so Severus was tempted to throw her out, but he waved a hand instead so she would at least stop hanging in the door-way like some silly Hufflepuff.

"What is so urgent that you couldn't wait until Monday?" he inquired.

"It's Draco, sir! He's left the school!" Pansy wailed. "He said his father's come to pick him up and then he just left me!" Severus rolled his eyes at the term 'left _me_', but Pansy seemed too distraught to notice. He quickly forgot her histrionics when he registered her complaint. Lucius had taken Draco out of school early? That in itself was strange, but that Malfoy had come to Hogwarts and not visited his fellow Death Eater, that was a little disconcerting.

"Did Draco mention _why _he was leaving early without notifying me?" he asked, though as a governor Lucius could easily get away with such things. Still, Severus liked to think Draco himself would have informed him regardless.

"He didn't say!" Pansy wailed, pulling a handkerchief from her pocket and blowing her nose, loudly. Severus cringed.

"I'm sure he'll be back next term, Miss Parkinson," Severus assured her, a hint of warning in his voice. "His father is unlikely to let young Malfoy forgo his education after only five years."

"It's not _that!_" Pansy exclaimed as if it was the dumbest thing she'd heard. She was very close to be on the receiving end of a special Death Eater hex, one of Severus' own inventions incidentally. "He didn't take me with him! Who knows what he's off doing with his _father_!" It didn't take half a second for Severus to understand that Pansy wasn't really referring to Draco's father at all. She was worried Draco was off learning Death Eater secrets, meeting the Dark Lord, or something equally foolish and dangerous.

"I suggest you return to your dorm and prepare of your end of term exams, Miss Parkinson. I will see to it that Draco comes back for his." He rose so that she could not mistake the dismissal. She opened her mouth to wail more, but shut it again when Severus narrowed his eyes. His Slytherins knew exactly when to stop complaining. They were always welcomed to come to him with their problems, school related or otherwise, but Severus had clear limits. Love-life problems being the main one, and he had just added another; complaints about other students getting to become junior Death Eaters. The worst part of all, perhaps, was that she hadn't hesitated to make her complaint more subtle, because she assumed Severus would simply be either sympathetic, or take her with him to a next meeting more likely.

When the door was firmly shut before her Severus closed his eyes, wondering where the next interruption would come from. It turned out to be in the form of a letter, gliding out from a slot high on the wall of his office. He hated dealing with owls so he made them drop his mail through a shoot down to the dungeons. Also, Dumbledore had a way to send things directly through similar slots at Grimmauld Place and other safe houses, making them come through to Severus in an instant. In case the system was breached, however, Dumbledore was always careful what he wrote.

The letter drifted over to his desk by help of his charms and Severus saw the black ink on the front turning into the distinct green. He hurried over, checking the code-name on the front just in care, and tore it open.

_I forgot to mention one thing during our last meeting. Do not inform Snuffles of the latest developments. No good will come of it. He cannot receive owl mail at his current location, but I shall inform Griffin not to try in case. _

_Also, I must give you my advice: Do not question Governors. It will only damage your career. _

Severus was usually a man who could appreciate a vague missive such as this, but Dumbledore's letters, when they needed to be vague for security's sake, always gave him a headache. The main reason could perhaps stem from the code-name _Griffin_. It had been Black who had suggested it of course, and Severus had scoffed loudly, and afterwards insulted the brainless idiot as thoroughly as he deserved. But Dumbledore had thought it _nice and fitting_ of course, so that was that. Severus, you can easily guess, also had problems with the name _Snuffles_, perhaps the biggest problem being that Black _wasn't,_ for some strange reason, embarrassed by such a name. He thought it '_fun'_. In any case it meant Severus couldn't tease him about it, always a disappointment.

The first part of the letter was easy to interpret. Black would only throw a fit and try and get Potter to Grimmauld Place. The last bit was curious. Dumbledore was obviously still in touch with Hogwarts' wards, hardly surprising considering Umbridge couldn't even get into the office, was knew who came and went. He didn't want Severus questioning Lucius about Draco's sudden absence because Lucius would no doubt only become suspicious. Why would Severus have any trouble with Draco becoming familiar with Death Eater ways? Still, it seemed a bit over-protective of Dumbledore. Severus was perfectly capable of coming to such a conclusion himself… He hadn't thought to question Lucius at all, in fact.

He burned the letter, banishing the ash afterwards, and wondered if he should correct the fourth years or the sixth years' potions tests. He tried to ignore how his hand was now itching for his wand. He wasn't going to spend his entire Saturday watching Potter clean his relatives' house. Sixth years then, a NEWTs class would perhaps post more of a challenge. Not that he needed one to distract him. He wasn't having problems concentrating at all.

Isn't it curious how the most sarcastic person in the world can fail to realise his own subconscious is being sarcastic to him?

xxx

Harry had tried not to run down the stairs when his aunt had called him, but her voice pierced him as if he was ten years old again. He would have to deal with this _every day_ until he was _eighteen_, because that was when muggles became adults, no doubt the very day he would be tossed out on his arse. He didn't mind of course, he just hoped he landed on the grass at least.

As they day wore on he felt the exact opposite of Christmas having come early. It was as if Hell had come early, or he had been banished there way too soon, and this time it was forever. Well, not forever, obviously, but it sure seemed like that now. He cleaned the kitchen first, top to bottom, then went outside in the nice weather and worked in the garden. That was the best part of his day by far. Afterwards he had to make dinner and disappear up to his room before Vernon even saw him. He didn't get to eat because he hadn't earned anything yet.

He was called down to do the dishes, of course, and had to do them while listening to the two whales laughing at the TV in the living room. Petunia then set him to work polishing silverware, which already looked sparkling as far as Harry could tell. Petunia reminded him pointedly several times that she counted every last item.

After that Harry had to witness Vernon and Dudley making a nice little bonfire with his books and school robes. Along with all sorts of knick-knacks and supplies Harry had collected over the years. He watched it impassively, wondering why he didn't care more, but he just couldn't. Those things belonged at Hogwarts, and he was never going back there.

It was midnight when he finally went upstairs and into bed. He opened the window and searched the nearby trees, hoping to spot Hedwig. Surely she would have arrived by now. How long did it take a magical owl to fly from Scotland down to Surrey? Instead of Hedwig, though, a large barn owl swooped down from where it was perched on the street-lamp. It was a Hogwarts owl, Harry realised, and bearing a letter for him. He impatiently tugged it from the owl's leg and then hushed it when it hooted, probably for some sweets. Harry shrugged apologetically and it flew off in a huff, but thankfully didn't make any more noise. Harry opened the letter and scanned the bottom for the sender. It turned out to be from Hermione, which Harry didn't know how to feel about… until he read said letter.

_Dear Harry _

_I don't know what to say, Harry, I've never been so unsure, but I need you to know that I'm really sorry! I can't believe they expelled you! I'm trying to get together a petition, but I'm afraid it's not going too well. And with no right for an appeal, which is frankly just unfair, I don't know what else to do! _

_I dragged the truth out of Ron. The real truth! I don't know why I reacted so badly to the idea of you with Malfoy. I mean, how on earth could I believe something so stupid? Now that I look back it feels as if I was a different person. I guess we all have our stupid moments. _

_I want you to know, though, that it doesn't matter to me that you're gay _at all_. One of my muggle friends from where I live has just recently figured out he's gay too, actually. His name is Edward and we met after third year. It's really odd, actually, that muggles have managed to move past (at least partially) from prejudice against homosexuals, when wizards haven't. It's usually the other way around. I wonder if there are other aspects of society where it's like that. Now I really wish I hadn't dropped the muggles studies class! I could have written a paper about it. _

_Oh, sorry, now I've rattled on when you must be feeling awful. Don't worry, Harry. I'm sure Dumbledore will think of something. Maybe you can go live at Grimmauld Place? Sirius can teach you loads of stuff, and you can still buy the textbooks! _

_I'll try writing as often as possible to keep you updated. Ron's being an ass, so don't even think about him. Did you know he had the nerve to ask me to the last Hogsmade weekend right after I had found out they had been shunning you for being gay. I almost slapped him! And I had words with Seamus and Dean too. Dean's actually coming around. I think it's because he's muggleborn. _

_There are a lot of people still with you Harry! Many are starting to blame Ron and the boys for the DA being cancelled. Don't worry, no one else knows about your sexuality. I know you wouldn't want anyone to know. _

_That's all I have time for now, I'm afraid. I love you, Harry. You are my best friend and I'll stand by you forever. I'm sorry I can do anything to cheer you up. _

_Wishing you were still here so badly, _

_Hermione. _

Harry read through the letter three times, a warm feeling spreading from his stomach to the tips of his fingers. Hermione didn't seem to mind in the slightest! She didn't know about the beating, though, that much was clear. And Harry wasn't about to tell her. It was nice knowing she wasn't acting different towards him either, if her rant about muggle and wizard views was anything to go by. She would always get lost in things like that. That was just Hermione for you.

Harry carefully put the letter inside his notebook and hid it in his usually spot under the loose floorboard under the bed. He was about to close the window slightly so things wouldn't be so cold when another owl swooped in. This one held the letter in its talons, and merely dropped it before flying off again, not even landing. Harry frowned as he unrolled the small scroll.

_I am sorry this letter must be short and to the point. Stay where you are. Do not attempt to contact Snuffles. I will be in touch. _

_AD _

_PS: This letter will burn in ten seconds. _

Harry crumpled up the letter in his hand, gritting his teeth, his nostrils flaring. _That_ was how Dumbledore contacted him? With orders to stay put and not to write to Sirius? Harry hadn't been about to, but that was hardly the point. He yelped when the letter burst into flames, dropping it in his shock. It was a magical flame, however, and he wasn't burnt. He hoped the Ministry wouldn't get wind of that little stunt.

Feeling too exhausted from the day to be angry Harry flopped down on the bed, feeling acutely bereft. He couldn't even spell away the ash. Funny how dependent he had managed to become on magic in such a short amount of time, really.

He just hoped Dumbledore would give him a little more information next time. At least he knew he hadn't been abandoned. That was something. Dumbledore didn't really have a reason to help Harry, did he? Harry was pretty sure the Headmaster didn't help all the students who got expelled. Well, there was Hagrid, he supposed. So maybe Dumbledore only helped those who had been wronged? Harry frowned and tried to clear his thoughts. He hadn't been wronged. He had been weak. Nobody wanted him around anyway. Hermione was just being herself and helping a lost cause, like the house elves.

Harry hated feeling like a lost cause. He rather just be lost.

-:-

Longest chapter yet, I believe? Did you enjoy it?

Question (though this is just out of curiosity. I have already decided what to do about him!!): How many of you truly want Ron to be redeemed?


	6. Chapter 6

WOW! I'm once again completely floored by the response to this fic. Because of this I'm updating a much more frequently than I originally planned. Reading all your nice reviews just gets me in the mood! Thank you so much. Of course, because of this you only have yourselves to thank for this update!

Almost all the reviews specified they didn't want to see Ron redeemed, or at least that he isn't forgiven. As I said, I have already decided what to do, but obviously I'm not going to tell you!

-:-

_Chapter 6. _

Severus Snape dropped the quill onto his desk and slowly unwound his fingers. They made a satisfying cracking sound, and Severus knew he had worked enough. The inkpot, full to the brim with nice red ink this morning, was now completely empty. It was a little after dinner, but Severus would just order something light, as he preferred on Sundays, and relax with a glass of his favourite red wine. Wine stored in casks made from trees woodland-fairies had abandoned. Very, very rare, but Severus had managed to procure a case. That felt like ages ago now.

Trying not to think how many bottles were left Severus retired to his study after stacking up all the papers he had been grading. He settled himself in his favourite chair, his eyes lingering on the coffee table for some reason. He distracted himself by summoning his glass and bottle, forgetting his hunger completely. He set the bottle aside to breathe a little, on the coffee table. Its polished surface seemed to call to him, begging him to cast a certain spell over it. For some reason the bottle had ended up at the far end. He quickly repositioned it in the middle of the table, along with his glass.

Severus was by now feeling slightly ridiculous. Why on earth should he not just use the Scios Totalus as he pleased? Potter's actions clearly justified his own. Perhaps it was not that he didn't want to view something private - well more than just _something_ private, more like _everything_ Potter was - but because of how often he had thought about it. What was it that was so interesting about the boy? Severus wanted to know, wanted to either confirm or refute these new thoughts he had about the Boy Who Lived To Serve His Relatives. He wanted, needed, to understand, because Severus Snape was a man determined to learn from his mistakes, even if he never actually admitted he had made any… except perhaps for the one big one.

Realising the absurdity of trying to deny himself while at the same time sitting there justifying everything, he removed the wine and glass to the side, but not before pouring a healthy amount. He settled back and said two spells in quick succession, ending with another to flip the image up so he could view it almost as a TV, though of course he didn't know that.

Harry Potter came into focus…

Harry groaned as he sat back on his heels, trying to straighten his back. He had been bending all day doing all kinds of chores. _'Hopefully things will get better once I'm used to this again,'_ he thought without much enthusiasm. He put the toilet brush back in place and stored away all the cleaning agents for the bathroom. He then thoroughly washed his hands and arms, splashing some water on his face for good measure. _'God I'm tired. Maybe I should just go to bed without asking if there was anything else? Oh, but the dishes aren't done yet. Damn.'_ Harry sighed and realised that tomorrow would only be worse if he didn't go back down.

_'Wish Hedwig would turn up,' _Harry thought as he descended the stairs. _'I have half a mind to owl Sirius despite Dumbledore's warning. If it weren't for the moment of peace this morning when the Dursleys went to church I might have run away. Go live as a muggle somewhere else. Being on the _street_ is better than this… well, most of the time.'_ Harry entered the kitchen then, and was relieved that Vernon and Dudley were already in front of the TV in the living room. Petunia had already begun the dishes, but once she spotted Harry she immediately set the plate she had been holding down.

"What took you so long?" she demanded. She didn't care for his answer, though, as she waved her hand over the mess. "Get to work. And don't put my mother's plates in the dishwasher. Do everything by hand on Sundays."

"Yes, aunt Petunia, I remember," Harry said, making sure not to sigh at the end. Every single year when he came back they always assumed he had forgotten everything about cleaning and stuff. _'They think I'm stupid, obviously. Which I probably am, considering all the stupid stuff I've done over the years. The last of which of course was letting Ron get hold of that drawing. Fuck, this Hell is all my fault. I deserve this.'_ Harry washed the dishes efficiently and carefully. Petunia watched him for a moment, but then left to bring Vernon his tumbler of brandy. Harry's thoughts began to wander aimlessly, like he usually preferred when he worked. He was just lamenting the fact that he didn't have his broom, when he was interrupted quite violently.

"OI!" Harry jumped about two feet in the air, the wet glass in his hand slipping and crashing to the floor. He whirled around, almost making a move as if to draw his wand, but he was pushed hard against the sink before he could manage it. Dudley laughed nastily and shoved him again for good measure. "Nice work, there, Pothead," he said before turning and walking out of the kitchen quickly. Harry wanted to slap himself on the forehead. _'How the bloody hell did he sneak up on me?' _

"What's going on? What've you broken this time!?" Vernon bellowed as he came into the kitchen. Harry almost swore aloud. _'Fucking arsehole! He did that on purpose. Wish I could hex his balls off!'_ Petunia just made her way past Vernon, who was almost blocking the entire door to the kitchen.

"My glasses!" she exclaimed. Harry wanted to point out it was only one, but bit his cheek to keep his expression neutral. "I knew it! You _want_ to make trouble! You only came here to cause us misery! You ungrateful little boy! You did it on purpose!" Vernon was glaring at Harry, his eyes telling anyone who cared to look that the street was looking better and better from where Harry was standing. Petunia bent down and started picking up the pieces of what was obviously something much more precious than her nephew.

"Say you're sorry, boy, right now!" Vernon bellowed when Petunia gave a little sniff.

"I'm really sorry, aunt Petunia," Harry said as he bent down to help her. She swatted his hands away. Harry knew better than to tell her Dudley had startled him. Suddenly a beefy hand was clutching his collar and hauling him to his feet.

"Good, but it won't save you boy!" Vernon roared. _'Saved? I'm a lost cause. I'm already dead._'

"Vernon! The neighbours! Not so loud!" Petunia hissed. "Take the boy upstairs." Harry's whole body went rigid. _'Upstairs!? For breaking a fucking glass!?'_ Before Harry's brain could tell his body what to do he was already flailing and struggling against Vernon's grip, but the man pulled Harry against him and shifted his grip so he was using both hands to hold onto the front of Harry's shirt.

"That's right, boy. You need discipline if you're going to live here year round. Those freaks at that school probably let you run around wild, but not here. You're going to learn your place quickly." Harry shook his head, instinct taking over and making him push against Vernon's chest, but the man was like a mountain, unmovable. All the time his mind could think only one thing: _'Not upstairs! Not upstairs!'_

Whenever aunt Petunia uttered the phrase _'Take the boy upstairs,' _it only meant one thing: that she thought Vernon needed to punish Harry properly, so thoroughly in fact, that she couldn't bear to watch. That was almost worse than having her stand beside her husband, because it meant that somewhere, deep down, she knew it was wrong, but she didn't care. Not at all.

Vernon dragged Harry up the stairs, throwing disgusting insults along the way. He opened the door to Harry's bedroom, and just before he pushed the boy inside, Harry glimpsed Dudley peaking out of his room down the hall, smirking and with glinting eyes.

Harry fell into the room and quickly turned around on his back so he would know what was coming. _'He can't hurt me too bad. He needs me to work! I can't work if I'm bloodied up. This isn't like the summers where he knows I'll be gone eventually and he wants to get at least one good beating in. I'm here for good… but maybe that means he doesn't mind waiting till I heal up… or perhaps he won't care to wait at all.'_

"I'm going to teach you some respect, freak!" Vernon declared as he towered over Harry.

"I'm not a freak anymore! I told you! I can't do ma-"

"You dare say that word in my house!" Vernon snarled.

"I'm s-sorry!" Harry stammered, scooting backwards, but trying to remain as flat and small as possible.

"You'll always be a freak! You're were probably even too freakish for that school, and that's why they pawned you over to us! Everyone would be happy if you were dead, but as you're not I'm going to make the best of it," Vernon promised, an ugly twisted smile gracing his face. His hands went down to his belt. Harry's eyes went wide. That was the worst. His fists were so big and fatty they were practically soft compared to Dudley's; they boy was now a boxer after all.

"No-… please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Oh, you'll be sorry alright," Vernon quipped maliciously. "Get on the bed. On your stomach!" The man's voice made it very clear what would happen if Harry refused. He hadn't used the belt since before third year, afterwards they were too afraid of Harry's godfather, the escaped convict. Now, though, it seemed they assumed Harry had been abandoned by Sirius as well.

Harry had to crawl to the bed, as his legs would not hold him. He had never felt so in need of a wand. Not even in the graveyard with Voldemort himself had he wished for one more. At least then, he had stood up and accepted his fate; death. This mindless beating would leave him in pain for days and weeks. _'I don't deserve to be in Gryffindor,' _Harry suddenly thought, laying down on his stomach and hiding his head under the pillow. _'I'm just gonna lay back and take it. If only I had my wand!'_

Vernon roughly pulled up Harry's shirt, the sudden coldness made Harry's whole body shiver visibly. His uncle laughed cruelly, probably admiring his handiwork from years past. Harry heard a horribly familiar intake of breath, and knew Vernon was bracing himself to give the best, and hardest possible, blow. It came across his back, making him cry out.

"Keep quiet!" Vernon ordered. Harry bit into the pillow. He was pretty used to staying quiet during beatings, just like with the Gryffindor boys, but the first blow was always the hardest to take. Just as Vernon raised his hand for another one a shrill voice rang from downstairs.

"Vernon! There's a phone-call for you! There's a problem at work!" Vernon cursed loudly. Harry heard him putting on his belt again.

"Mark my words, boy, we are not finished. I'll see to it tomorrow, after work. You had better be finished with all your chores by then. I want you to wash the car as well, first." With that Vernon turned and left, locking the door behind him. Once his heavy footsteps could be heard on the stairs Harry sighed deeply and went practically boneless on the bed.

_'Fuck, that was lucky. I'm probably not even bleeding.'_ Harry got up from the bed, his legs shaking and making him grab hold of the chair by the desk. _'For God's sake, pull yourself together! It was one blow, for fuck's sake. What are you, three years old again?'_ Harry berated himself as he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. He was shaking like a leaf.

"Stop it," he said aloud to himself. "This is pathetic, more pathetic than you usually are. It was _one blow_," he repeated aloud and closed his eyes. "You're a Gryffindor. You're better than this." _'No you're not. Your former friends banished you from the House for all intents and purposes. You just took their beating too, remember? You're no more a Gryffindor than you are a wizard,'_ a little voice inside his head told him harshly. Harry staggered backwards and sat down again, breathing hard.

"No, that's wrong… I'm not-…" Harry drew in a deep breath, but what came out wasn't exactly what he had planned. "I'm not a freak." The statement seemed to break something inside him. Tears came out of nowhere, making him angry at himself. He held up his hands to shield his face. "I'm not a freak," he repeated, a sob following. He lay down carefully on his stomach again, clutching the pillow like a lifeline. "I'm not a freak," he murmured into the pillow. He wasn't a wizard anymore, so how could he be a freak? To him it seemed like the most unfair thing about all of it, at least at the moment.

"I'm not a freak, I'm not a freak," he chanted again and again as he lay there, sobbing in between. It _wasn't fair!_ How could Vernon beat him for being a freak when he wasn't one! But apparently he was, Vernon had said so. Ron had said so, Seamus had, Dean had. It seemed like many people had said so. Harry counted them in his head. _'Snape has never said directly, but it was as good as, so he counts too. At least he's hated me from the beginning. Hate to think how Ron feels about being deceived all these years…'_

"Why am I such a freak?" was the last thing Harry said before he broke down completely and sobbed until he fell asleep.

xxx

Severus waved his wand dazedly when Harry's thoughts finally became dreams. They were so disturbing Severus had been startled into dropping his glass. It didn't shatter, but the red wine seeped into the deep green carpet, making it completely black.

So much had happened in too short a time that Severus' mind was having trouble catching up. He had wanted to apparate directly to Privet Drive and hex the life out of that muggle man. How dare he attack a wizard! The worst had been Potter's thoughts. Severus hadn't felt so angry since… well, since the last time Potter was in his presence actually, the pensive incident.

But he couldn't do anything about it. Of course, had the man beat Potter senseless Severus was fairly certain he had gone to the Headmaster… almost positive at least. That was a conversation Severus was hoping to avoid at all costs, well, not at the price of Potter's life, obviously.

Still, what if the brute made good on his threat to finish things? Could Severus just _watch_, and not do anything? The logical solution, of course, was simply not use the Scios Totalus again. If he didn't know, he couldn't do anything, right? Ha, that was as likely as Dumbledore suddenly declaring he was sick of lemon drops. He didn't want to admit it, but a tiny part of him knew he was addicted already.

Severus shook his head. This needed serious thinking over. Potter was… Severus still wasn't sure what Potter was. Not exaggerating the situation, that was for sure. He would just have to keep watching, as much as his schedule permitted.

_'I'm not a freak,'_ echoed in his mind, along with that increasingly familiar sob. His heart gave a painful stab at that. Potter was probably as far from a freak as Severus could imagine. For one brief moment he wished Potter was there so he could tell him that. But the feeling passed away, and Severus rose from his seat, spelling away the mess he'd made.

He took a Dreamless Sleep potion before bed. Had he dreamed, you can be sure he would have dreamt giving the potion to Harry.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you all for the nice reviews!

Question: Just out of curiosity, how young is too young for you? This story isn't going to contain real slash until Harry is probably 17 (at least with Severus!). I'm sure that's too young for some people, but I don't fancy writing a whole novel and get to when he's over 18. You guys want the slash a little faster, I reckon?

-:-

_Chapter 7_

The Potions classroom filled slowly with students. Monday mornings were always the worst; Gryffindor and Slytherin fifth years. Usually, that meant Harry Potter would be sitting with his two friends, and generally making a mockery of Severus' life's work. Today, however, there was no Harry Potter. Severus tried not to let anything show on his face. Then again, _what_ exactly was it that was in danger of showing? Disappointment? Concern? Deep satisfaction? But that didn't need hiding did it? In fact anything else would look highly suspicious, even a blank mask.

Severus threw a satisfied smirk across the room, just in case. He was just about to give a little speech on how they were finally rid of the celebrity when the door opened and in strolled Draco Malfoy, or rather, _strutted_. Malfoy really was everything Severus had accused Potter of being, wasn't he?

"Mr. Malfoy, I expect my students to be on time," Severus said pointedly. Malfoy came all the way up to the desk and held out a piece of parchment.

"I was held up in the Headmistress' office, sir," he explained, smirking slightly. "I just got back." A wider smirk. Severus repressed a shiver. What had the boy been up to? He snatched the parchment out of the boy's hand and glanced at it briefly.

"Very well, sit down, Mr. Malfoy." Once the Death Eater in training had done so Severus could finally begin his lesson, but something was missing, and this time it wasn't that he hadn't said his insults to Potter. As he lectured his eyes came to rest on the Granger girl. She was frowning and, shockingly enough, _not_ paying much attention at all. That was what was missing, her incessant scratching as she took down every word. Severus had gotten used to it over the years. The girl was smart, he'd give her that, but now she looked distracted. She was frowning, clearly deep in thought, and staring at the back of Malfoy's head.

"Miss Granger, kindly pay attention and stop staring at Mr. Malfoy," Severus couldn't resist drawling. That was something at least. Besides, he couldn't have her wondering too much about where Malfoy had been. The Trio's curiosity was what landed them in deadly situations after all. Granger blushed predictably as the Slytherin's snickered and the Gryffindor's looked appalled at her. Ron looked tomato red. Malfoy turned his head to look at her. Severus expected him to sneer in disgust, but instead the blond looked at Granger curiously, and then smirked. Which was perhaps just as evil because Granger, again predictably, blushed harder. Severus resumed his lesson and the Slytherins fell silent at once.

Still, Severus couldn't quite concentrate on his lecture, even when Granger started taking notes again. He felt an itch in his wand hand, and he realised what was distracting him. Unfortunately, now that he knew he wanted to use the Scios Totalus, it was _all_ he could think about. The first time he lost his place several people raised the eyebrows in shock. The second time there were glances exchanged.

_'I wonder what Potter is doing. Is the muggle beating him? But he said he would wait until after work, but how long do muggles work? My father never worked so I have no idea. Surely till lunch at least. Not all of them are lazy arses.'_ His thoughts went non-stop, images of Potter beaten to a pulp made him loose his place again, causing Granger to frown curiously at him. He shook his head to dispel the images, but others replaced them. These were of Potter cleaning his dungeon floor during detentions, or scrubbing cauldrons. Had Potter compared him to that muggle monster then? The boy had worked very efficiently and the place had been spotless, but Severus had still complained.

"Something urgent has come up," Severus heard himself say, gathering his papers. "Class dismissed." No one moved. He didn't care. They could sit there all day. He left the classroom door open when he left, just to give them a hint. His robes billowed after him as he swept down towards his rooms. The itch in his hand was calling to him.

xxx

Hermione watched, shocked and gaping slightly, as Snape swept past her and out the door. It had been the singular most bizarre potions class she had ever attended. Severus Snape dismissing class a full hour and a half early? If Hermione had been a muggle, she would have looked outside to check if pigs were flying by. As it was, and that could very well be the case, she decided not to.

She looked down to her notes and frowned. She had only caught half the lecture, the last half, because she was worried over Harry. Well, that and Malfoy was up to something, as usual. The boy had been gone the weekend, probably learning how to be a good little Death Eater. Still, he didn't look particularly more evil than before, and Hermione was not one to pass judgement early… at least not _too_ early.

"Granger," a refined voice startled her and she looked up. Everybody else had stampeded out once they realised Snape was really gone. All except Malfoy. He stood leaning against her desk with a slight smirk on his lips. Hermione cursed herself for her blush as she looked down and busied herself with gathering her papers and books. How could someone so evil and cruel still look so… She decided not to finish that sentence.

"What do you want Malfoy?" she asked when he didn't say anything else. She hauled her heavy book bag onto the table so she could more easily put her stuff in it.

"Ever heard of a lightening charm?" Malfoy asked, the tone strangely devoid of malice, but perhaps there was a hint of teasing? Hermione hadn't known Malfoy could separate the two.

"I am perfectly capable of carrying my book bag as it is," she declared as she placed her quill in a side-pocket. Why was Malfoy still hanging around? She didn't say how she preferred a heavy book bag. That its weight was comforting to her. She would probably blush the shade of Ron's hair if Malfoy found that out.

"You're also perfectly capable of doing a lightening charm," Malfoy pointed out, then seemed to change his mind about the whole conversation. "Why were you looking at me?" When Hermione finally glanced up, because there simply was nothing else to organize, Malfoy was staring at her intently.

"I wasn't," Hermione denied at once. She raised her chin slightly to fight off the blush. "Snape was just trying to embarrass me. Clearly, you're a bit full of yourself, Malfoy, but that's hardly news." She turned and started for the door.

"Wait," Malfoy protested and actually hurried past her to block the door. Hermione's hand went immediately to her wand. Malfoy held up his hands. "I don't want to duel. Honestly, in the potions classroom?"

"Fine, what do you want then?" Hermione huffed as she put her wand away.

"First you must swear that whatever goes on in here doesn't leave the room." Hermione raised an eyebrow in a very Malfoy-like expression actually. The effect was ruined when she snorted.

"You expect me to promise that? Why would you even believe me if I did?"

"Because you're a Gryffindor," Malfoy responded, smirking slightly again. Hermione rolled her eyes. It was either promise or not find out what Malfoy wanted, and frankly, she was curious as hell.

"Alright. I swear not to tell." Malfoy hesitated then, something Hermione had never seen before. In that brief moment he looked vulnerable and even more… She decided not to finish that sentence. Then it was gone and Malfoy drew himself up as if to bolster himself.

"If you tell anyone I'm a dead man, and I mean anyone. But I need you to know just in case you ever need help."

"Help!?" Hermione exclaimed in shock. "Why would I need help from _you_?" Malfoy pulled his wand then and did a few privacy spells. This made Hermione even more curious. Malfoy then fixed her with a burning stare.

"These are war-times, Granger, and the school is being run by a toad, you do the math," he hissed. "Just know that when the time comes, I won't be standing on the side-lines, and I won't be standing with certain mask-wearing cretins."

"One of those cretins is your father!" Was the first thing Hermione blurted out. She was in too much shock to think. Malfoy rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Well spotted, Granger, you actually are smart. I'm not discussing it, but just _know_ that, alright? And for the love of Merlin, don't go blabbing to your redheaded friend."

"Ron's not my friend," Hermione said, feeling an inexplicable need for Malfoy to know that, even though she had no idea if he was telling the truth. Still, there was a definite part of her that was hoping he was, a big part.

"Boyfriend then," Malfoy corrected irritably.

"No, I mean, we're fighting. We're not anything anymore." Malfoy blinked, then cleared his throat.

"Right, fine. Good," he said tightly, looking past her over her shoulder for some reason.

"Good?"

"Good to see the weasel suffer," Malfoy explained. "I need to go to my next class." He turned to leave. Before Hermione could open her mouth he was out the door and up the stairs. Hermione stared after him, feeling a churning of emotions in her gut. She knew she couldn't trust him as far as she could throw him, _without_ magic. Whatever he was up to, it was making him behave very strangely.

Suddenly remembering Arithmancy, Hermione hurried off after him. She was even more distracted in that class, even without the Slytherins.

xxx

Severus watched as Harry worked. It was completely boring, actually, but Severus didn't even think of ending the spells. Potter's thoughts were kind of interesting…. Sometimes at least…

_'Wonder what would happen if Dudley came in contact with a Blast-ended Skrewt… he'd probably scream like a girl. Or maybe I'd feed him to a Acromantula? I'm pretty sure he's afraid of spiders. And uncle Vernon would make Aragog really happy I think.' _Harry sighed as he finished the last stroke of white paint on the garage door. He'd been working since before dawn, and all the while imagining ways to kill his relatives… he was a little worried about his sanity, but what did it matter when he was stuck here anyway? He was going insane no matter what. He put away the brushes and paint and made sure he didn't have any wet paint on him that could drip, before entering the house. Petunia was standing in the kitchen and looking out the window, at the neighbours no doubt, wondering if they were staring at Harry. She didn't like him working at the front of the house.

"I'm going to the market," she announced. "You will stay here and _don't cause any trouble_," she hissed at him, her eyes narrowing.

"Yes, aunt Petunia," Harry answered dutifully. His mind held suddenly new images; him laying back on the couch for a moments rest, and through it all his mind screamed _'Peace! Yes! She's not going to dump me with Mrs. Figg. Probably realises how impractical that's gonna be with me living here all the time.' _He waited for her to lock the door behind her before going into the living room and sinking into the couch.

Severus frowned as Potter started watching TV. What utter brainless nonsense. If that was what muggle children grew up with no wonder they were so messed up! And no wonder Potter was a bit short in the brain department either… then again he probably didn't get to watch that much during his childhood.

It wasn't until that Vernon man came home that Severus really paid attention again. Amazingly enough the man had all but forgotten his promise, though Potter was on edge all evening. He washed the man's car and then went upstairs after doing the dishes. Luckily Vernon fell asleep in front of the TV, and was too tired to bother with the 'freak' that night. Severus sighed with relief as Potter finally fell asleep, setting the window wide open in case Hedwig came during the night.

Soon Severus managed to integrate his 'Potter watching' with his teaching duties. He always made sure to view during the evenings, but the muggle didn't do much more than give Potter a slap now and then. Severus used up his entire Easter holiday watching, but he hardly noticed. He did, however, notice several other things…

For example, Harry Potter wasn't arrogant after all. Hearing someone's thoughts for over two weeks would make you understand them pretty well. The boy was headstrong, that was for sure, at least when he was pushed too far. He also wasn't as stupid as Severus supposed, but only applied himself where it suited him. He was a Gryffindor through and through, but that was hardly surprising. It _was_ surprising to see a Gryffindor from the inside, though, and Severus marvelled at how a brave person's mind worked.

There were other little quirks Severus learned. Like how Potter would try and flatten his hair a million times every day, even though he _knew_ it would never stay flat. James Potter had always done the opposite, to make it stand up all rugged and handsome. Potter would frequently reach for his wand, but that was a bit sad. He would wash his hands after practically every job, even if he was just washing the dishes. It seemed like he could shut off his reflexes, like when his cousin teased him. If it had been Malfoy he would have jumped into action without a second thought.

He would easily distract himself with physical labour, but he could just as easily use the time to think rather deep thoughts. His dreams were full of nightmares, and Severus saw how much the boy blamed himself for Diggory's death, which was just stupid. When there weren't any nightmares, his dreams were made of flying. Even Severus himself, who hated flying, found himself getting dragged into them and closing his eyes as he soared with Harry.

It was around the third week of watching and learning to know everything that was Harry Potter that things took a turn… for the better or for the worst? Well, that was very hard to say. According to Severus it was bloody awful.

-:-

Promise a LOT more action in the next chapter! And more on Hermione, Draco and Dumbledore soon too. Severus just needed a little time to come to terms with the real Harry.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm glad you enjoyed my fast update. Right now I am supposed to be working on my essay due on Monday, but like always I can't work unless I'm on a deadline. I don't think I'll spring into action until Saturday night, if I'm lucky. Really amazing that I manage to survive with not-terrible grades (though I could probably work harder, but then I wouldn't be writing this, now would I?)

Anybody know what religion meant for the ancient Greek polis? No? Well then, you'll just have to read this little chappie instead. ;-)

-:-

Severus Snape took a sip from his glass of wine and leaned back in his favourite chair. The Scios Totalus was on, as always in the evenings. Harry was frowning as he finished the dishes. He just put away the last plate when his aunt came into the kitchen.

"Get upstairs," she told him. Potter turned and looked at her curiously. Usually he wasn't dismissed until Vernon ordered him to get a glass of brandy. Potter was by now doing absolutely all the housework. Severus suspected the aunt was rather bored, but that also meant she went out more often. Severus also suspected that she went out to lunch (with lots of wine) all day long.

"Ok," Potter relied easily, his thoughts telling Severus that he wasn't about to argue at all, which the Slytherin thought very prudent. Potter bounded up the stairs (quietly) and entered his room. He stood by the doorway, simply staring at the practically empty room, his thoughts strangely empty as well.

Suddenly he sprang into action and put the one chair in front of the door, jamming it under the handle to people would a trouble getting in. He dived under the bed and opened the loose floorboard. _'Time for some Harry-time.'_ Severus frowned at the strange thoughts, but at the same time he was… glad (he could admit it now) that Potter was getting the evening off.

Potter sat on the bed with the notebook in his lap. He opened it slowly and started going through the drawings he hadn't looked at once since his return to Privet Drive. Severus adjusted the view from the Scios Totalus so he could see them too.

They were, in a word, amazing. Severus put his wine aside and leaned forward to get a good look. Most of them were of the castle and grounds, some of Hagrid's newest pets, and some of classmates. They were all done in pencil without colouring. Then Harry turned the page and Severus gasped.

There was no doubt that this had been the picture Weasley had found on the night of the beating. Severus would have guessed as much even without the slightly crumpled state of the parchment. Draco Malfoy was flushed (Severus could tell even without colouring) just like during one of the rivals' fights, but it was not in anger this time. His head was thrown back in passion, his mouth parted, the lips more full than ever in real like. His hair was tousled and longer, all the way down to his shoulders, and his only piece of clothing, a shirt, was open. The drawing ended at his hips, perhaps Harry had been to embarrassed to draw further down, but he hadn't hesitated in drawing in a head of wild black hair obscuring the blond boy's crotch.

In the corner of the parchment another smaller drawing was visible. One body on hands and knees, the head bowed and, because of the angle, not recognisable. Another body was pressed against the other's backside. There could be no mistaking the pose, and even though the latter body ended at the chest, the Weasley had obviously interpreted it as Potter taking it from Malfoy.

Severus suddenly became aware of a tight bulge in his trousers. He blushed a deeper red that he had in his entire life. He was getting hard over pictures of adolescent boys! Both his students, one his godson! Granted, the bodies were clearly drawn with artistic license and looked to be much older, but still!

Potter turned the page. Severus' sharp intake could hardly do his shock justice, but all his brainpower, including reflexes, were devoted to simply staring. There he was, he, _Severus Snape_, drawn out perfectly in _Harry's_ notebook! Again there was a fair amount of artistic embellishment, because he looked… _different, _and yet not. He was drawn tall and dark, barely distinguishable in the black surroundings covering nearly the entire parchment. His face, however, didn't look as harsh as Severus would have assumed (if one could assume something one never in a million years would have even imagined!) He looked… _mysterious_ perhaps. Not handsome, clearly, but not himself either, at least it seemed that way to him.

If he had been shocked by discovering that Potter had actually drawn his hated Potions Master, then it was NOTHING compared to his shock at the next picture. Severus Snape sat gaping as he viewed it; himself, _naked_. If Harry had been embarrassed about drawing details with Malfoy, he evidently wasn't anymore. The drawn Snape was pressing Harry down on a soft surface, a bed presumably. Drawn in profile, his large nose almost dug into Harry's cheek as they kissed, though Severus wouldn't call it kissing so much as devouring each other. Harry had lifted his legs and wound them around Severus' waist. The drawn cock looked surprisingly accurate as it hovered just outside Harry's entrance.

You can probably guess how much Severus wished in that moment that Harry had lied about his pictures not moving to the Dursleys!

Trying to compose himself and ignoring the twitching and very real cock in his trousers, Severus listened to Potter's thoughts.

_'God, he's sex. That's it. He's not handsome, or exquisite or lovely, or even hot or sexy. He's just sex, through and through. That should be on his office door instead of Potions Master: Severus Snape – sex.' _Needless to say, those kind of thoughts did nothing to calm Severus down. Harry thought he was sex? How could that be possible? It wasn't. It was utter nonsense, surely! Severus had always thought himself a particularly ugly man, very ugly in fact, though he tried not to think about it. He was not a man who indulged in self-pity.

_'Merlin, I hate you so much, Snape.'_ This got Severus' attention. Something normal at last from the boy! Although, somewhere deep down the declaration stung. _'I hate how you can get in my head. I hate that you hate me, because you made me like this! You made think bad thoughts! Why couldn't you just stop berating me in class? Why couldn't you hate me silently? Instead, your smooth voice, made of sex like the rest of you, had to get in my head and make me want you to abuse me!' _Harry was shaking as he stared at the picture. A delicate finger traced the erect member of his most hater professor. Most hated indeed! It seemed Potter had much more cause for hate than Severus first realised.

_'I hate you,'_ Harry whispered inside his mind, but even as he thought it he took the loose piece of parchment out of the notebook and set the rest aside. He then scooted back against the pillow on his bed and held the drawing in one hand. It wasn't until the other hand opened the buttons on the faded jeans and delved inside that Severus realised what Harry was in fact doing.

Wanking. Harry Potter was wanking to a drawn picture of himself and Severus Snape in the throws of passion. His hand started moving in a painfully conspicuous rhythm. A moan escaped as Harry's lips parted and the green eyes fluttered shut. A breathy _'Severus'_ was the last thing Severus heard before grabbing his wand and slashing it in front of the image. It disappeared, along with Potter's thoughts. Severus sat breathing heavily in his chair. His erection was only at half-mast, but that was most likely because he had been more shocked than aroused at seeing a fifteen-year-old Harry Potter getting off. It was the picture that made his prick harden again, even as it barely flitted across his mind. There, Harry had been clearly older, and taller considering their proportions.

Still, that didn't help the fact that it was _Potter_ and Severus was still hard, even as he heard Harry's moan in his ears. It didn't change the fact that he had almost watched as his student, alright former student, pleasured himself! A boy less than half his age! It was disgusting, that's what it was! But Severus could ignore that. It was really only disgusting if he watched it all, wasn't it?

Severus rose from the chair and started pacing the room. He knew Potter in and out now, at least he had thought so, and this was just another thing to add to the list. So, Potter thought he was attractive. Why was that a problem? He had merely found Severus' presence attractive, or perhaps he simply liked older men and his greasy Potions Master was the only one around remotely acceptable. Yes, that was it. The infatuation would pass once Harry found someone else…

And as for Severus, he was hardly in danger of molesting the boy. If there was one thing he had learned about himself after twenty years of teaching snot-nosed brats, it was that he would never do something like that. It wasn't in him. He wouldn't mind whether a partner was submissive, dominant or both, but he knew he wanted an actual _man_. Fully-grown, not some fifteen-year-old whelp.

So that was that. Severus snorted to himself. Why had he been so worried over nothing? A tiny little voice inside his head went unnoticed by Severus' conscious, but it would always linger beneath the surface… _'Boys grow up.'_

xxx

"'Mione, please!" Ron whinged as he leaned towards Hermione at the Gryffindor table one Wednesday morning.

"No," Hermione repeated, not even looking up from the Daily Prophet. She scanned the article, another one about the Boy Who Lived To Get Expelled, this one speculating that Dumbledore had disappear so he could teach the boy in secret.

"But 'Mione-" Ron began again, but snapped his mouth shut when Hermione finally looked up and fixed him with a glare.

"No, Ronald. I am not going to help you with anything. You are a complete berk and I want _nothing_ to do with you." She went back to her paper.

"Look, 'Mione, I'm sorry alright? What do you want me to do?" Ron tried a different tactic. Hermione sighed tiredly. She had half a mind to stop eating in the Great Hall.

"There is nothing you can do, short of going to Harry and begging on your knees for forgiveness. But I'm not sure you deserve it. I know there was more that happened than you told me. You were very vague about the whole thing with finding that drawing."

"Look, I'm not going to do that. If you had _seen_ it, you'd understand!" _'Seen it,'_ Hermione thought, at once feeling eyes on her for some reason. Yes, she wouldn't mind seeing it actually. Only to try and "understand" of course. She glanced up and her eyes locked with Malfoy across the Hall. That had been happening a lot lately, like he was always watching her. He was up to something.

"You are a prejudice arsehole, Ron. No better than Death Eaters," Hermione suddenly declared, tearing her eyes away from the piecing grey ones. Ron gaped at her as she rose from her seat. She swept out of the Hall, a set of grey eyes following her every move.

It was after Charms, and Hermione was taking the long route back to the Tower so she didn't have to walk with Ron. Just as she was nearing a corner Draco Malfoy stepped out and she nearly jumped out of her shoes.

"Malfoy! What are you doing here!" she cried, clearly flustered. Malfoy smirked slightly, probably pleased he had managed to scare her.

"Just wanted to ask you a question. But not here." He turned and walked to the nearest door, which led to the girls' bathroom. Hermione hesitated a second, but then hurried after. Once inside Malfoy cast privacy spells again.

"What?" Hermione asked at once, wanting to get things over with. She had been growing increasingly uncomfortable whenever Malfoy had his eyes on her. The boy was still a total prat in public, and Umbridge's star pupil, but once he glanced at her, Hermione knew it was all an act. Why he was acting, that was another question.

"Why did Potter get expelled?" Malfoy asked without preamble.

"Why do you want to know?" Hermione countered. "Didn't Umbridge tell you? What about reading the paper?" Umbridge had reported the charges, but left out the bit about the person being male. Everybody was keeping quiet about that, which showed how the wizarding world regarded gay people. Umbridge didn't want anyone to know that other students could be 'tainted' under her watch.

"Please, don't insult my intelligence," Malfoy drawled. "I know very well that Potter would be the last person on earth convicted of 'indecent exposure'. He's probably still a virgin." Hermione blushed and couldn't meet Malfoy's eyes. She was open-minded about homosexuality, but her parents weren't exactly the kind of people who just said things like that out loud!

"How would you know that?" she asked, finding the sinks very interesting suddenly.

"One look is enough. Potter probably hasn't been kissed yet. He just oozes virgin… so what really happened?"

"What makes you think I'll tell you anything?" Hermione asked in disbelief. She looked at Malfoy again. His eyes were piercing her.

"Because I have a… theory... and also because I suspect that if it is true, you will want to know what I think about it," he answered carefully. Hermione's brow furrowed as she deciphered the statement. If she did tell him, he would probably just keep quiet. If he was the one who exposed Harry, then everybody would assume he had been the injured party. Hermione was pretty sure Malfoy didn't want that.

"Ron and the guys found out Harry was gay," she declared, raising her chin to show what she thought of that. "That's why we're fighting." Silence permeated the room. Hermione held Malfoy's gaze steadily. The only sound was a drip from a leaking faucet. It ticked away the seconds.

"I think that a person's sex-life is nobody else's business but their own," Malfoy said slowly at last. Hermione blinked.

"You-…" she was speechless.

"Oh, come on, Granger. Don't you know history? Even muggle probably. So you understand that even if authorities declare something immoral, it rarely has a real effect on what people do and don't do." Hermione frowned as she considered the implications of what Malfoy was saying. He continued, seeing she needed more convincing or explaining, but not commenting on it. "Just because muggles declared witchcraft illegal doesn't mean every witch stopped doing magic. Purebloods frequently indulge in what the general public considers abnormal tastes."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do," Malfoy shrugged. "Most 'normal' people won't admit it exists of course, but I've seen it."

"You've _seen _it?" Another shrug.

"I'm not going to join in any time soon, but let's just say I've got enough to condemn my father for, I don't need to hate him for having a private life as well." Hermione couldn't look at Malfoy now, with the things he was saying, things he had seen, but she understood, and a part of her was relieved he thought like that. It was very weird, considering.

"How can you be so accepting of this, and not muggleborns? You do realise they are both groundless prejudices?" She stared at him in silent challenge. To her surprise, Malfoy smirked.

"I think I must get going. The Slytherins are waiting for me. Quiddith practice." With that he took away the wards and left Hermione alone, again.

-:-

Sooooo, a bit more action this time? And let me tell you; it only gets more action-packed in the future. We are nearing the end of the year, which means a lot of things are going to happen, but obviously I'm not following canon to the letter, but I'm not telling you what I am following and what I'm changing. Next chapter won't be coming until Monday night I think, as a celebration of the first essay of this semester being finished. Now, if only someone will tie me down and remove my internet access I might be able to write something sensible!

**Question for reviewers! **What do you think about Lucius Malfoy? What do you want to see from him in this fic? Suggest anything you like, but remember that I can't please everybody, and may change you're idea to suit my needs. But I give credit of course, if you have a concrete idea that I think works with the story, changed slightly or not. Or you can just tell me what you would prefer: good, bad, dead, Azkaban, follow canon, go nuts (me that is, not him, though you can suggest that too). Anything!


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Over 100 reviews! Amazing. I'm feeling on the top of the world. I finished editing my essay, and I thought: I can either write up my list of sources and turn it in now (we do it all over the internet) or I can write another Snarry chapter! Aren't you glad I went with the latter?

Now, I'm dead tired and going to bed. I shall dream up lots of snarry goodness to put in my fic. Please enjoy this chapter! Bear in mind that I'm exhausted, so I might have missed a few mistakes! I've been writing in Norwegian all day too, which has probably messed with my head quite a bit. I hate it when that happens. I start writing Norwegian expressions in English, like 'to cut everybody over one comb' or some such nonsense. (That's mostly the same as pigeonholing if you were wondering)

-:-

(Just so you know, yes Severus is watching right now. When isn't he?)

Harry sighed as he put away the last glass, carefully. He wasn't tired because he had had a lot to do that day. No, it had been a fairly good day. Vernon had been gone all day and hadn't even come home for dinner. Apparently he had gone to the pub with some colleagues. Harry's exhaustion stemmed from his lack of sleep. His dreams had been troubling him; all of that same long corridor. He knew there was something important behind the door, but he never got to it in time.

"Petunia!" a voice bellowed from the hallway and Harry froze. _'Bloody hell, I'm dead,' _was his immediate thought. He had been sure he would be up in his room long before Vernon came home. It had been years and years since Harry had seen Vernon come home drunk, and he didn't want to repeat the experience for all the snitches in Quiddith. Maybe Vernon wasn't so drunk now, since he was home early. Petunia, oddly enough, came into the kitchen instead of going from the living room to the hallway directly. She walked passed Harry, still standing by the sink, and leaned in.

"Get upstairs. He's too loud when he's drunk. If your screams wake the neighbours you'll be living in the cupboard again for a month." Harry went stiff both from her words and because her shoulder brushed him as she passed. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. Even though he should be used to it by now, Petunia still managed to make her comments sting. He dried his hands and crept silently to the door, peaking into the hallway. It seemed Vernon was sleeping while leaning against the wall. Petunia was shaking him softly, but he just grunted in response and sagged a little. Harry took his chance and hurried quietly towards the stairs. Petunia glared at him, but otherwise didn't comment. Harry made sure not to make the stairs creek as he went up.

He sighed in relief and leaned against the bedroom door once it was firmly closed behind him. He considered putting the chair against it, but it wouldn't really help, only enrage Vernon in his drunken state if he did decide to come in for a visit. _'God, I wish I could just run away.'_ He sighed again and pushed himself off the door. He had only taken two steps when the door burst open behind him. When Harry spun around Vernon was leaning heavily to one side, his beady eyes narrowed at Harry, but it looked more like he was trying to focus than glare.

"You boy," he said, his voice, to Harry's dismay had just the "right" amount of drunkenness to it. The man wasn't slurring yet, but his voice was a slightly higher pitch and he spoke with an odd pause between the words. Harry knew that meant trouble, even though he had been only six when it he had heard it the last time. Vernon was just drunk enough to do a fair bit of damage… and not care that he was injuring his house elf.

"Uncle Vernon, did you want something?" Harry tried offering, making his voice as sincere as possible. Wrong move.

"Don't you take that tone with me boy!" Vernon yelled, pointing a beefy finger at Harry and trying to right himself.

"Vernon, not so loud!" Petunia hissed from down the hall. She appeared behind her husband. "Come to bed," she said quietly, a hint of urgency in her voice. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll go to bed when I feel like it," Vernon declared. He grabbed the hand and from Petunia's gasp he was holding it very tightly. He turned around, only swaying slightly. "You go to bed now," he said firmly, letting to abruptly and causing Petunia to stagger back, clutching her hand to her chest.

"Vernon!" she cried indignantly. "I won't stand for this! What's gotten into you?"

"Non of your business, woman! Now get to bed!" Vernon roared. Harry had hardly ever seen the pair argue before. He really wished they would both go to bed.

"Do not speak to me in that manner!" Petunia shrieked. Suddenly Vernon's hand came up and he slapped her hard across the face. She cried out and staggered further back into the wall. Harry stiffened. He had never seen a man hit a woman like that. It was unheard of in the wizarding world, and _not_ because men and women were completely equal or something like that, but because a witch could hex certain parts you did not want off. Vernon made a move to grab his wife. Harry reacted automatically.

"Leave her alone," he said in a steady voice, not once betraying his own terrifying fear. He did not have a wand this time, there would be no chance that Vernon would simply shout Avada Kedavra and be over with it. The man was huge. Harry probably wasn't a dead man, probably, but he was going to be a very hurting little boy very soon. Vernon was turning slowly around, having forgotten his wife at once in favour of something he enjoyed beating much more.

"What did you say, boy? Did you just tell me what to do?" he asked, his voice rising until he was almost shouting again.

"I said leave her alone y-" Harry never got to finish his sentence because Vernon had moved surprisingly swiftly for one so large, not to mention drunk. His fist lunged out and he landed a punch on Harry's left cheek. Harry fell to the side, a hand going up to his face. The punch had knocked him to the ground, but it hadn't been very hard, just sudden. Vernon needed time to right himself as he had almost fallen over as well. His face, twisted in a dreadful grimace, glare down at Harry in utter loathing.

"Get on the bed, boy. On your stomach!" he shouted. Harry tensed, wondering what to do. What were his options? Get past him and run away? That would get him killed. Fight back? That would get him beaten to a bloody pulp. Lie down on the bed? That would hurt like hell, but the injuries wouldn't be life-threatening (hopefully) and at least he would still be able to move around (again hopefully). Thinking fast, Harry realised that the only thing he could do was crawl over to the bed and lay down. He did so very reluctantly, a feeling of shame washing over him. _'I deserve this,' _he thought, hoping that would make him feel better. It didn't.

Vernon made a satisfied sound and stepped into the room, slamming the door behind him. Harry heard him grunting as he removed his belt. He did like a good thrashing, it seemed. Harry clutched the pillow and concentrated on breathing.

"Get your shirt off," Vernon grunted. Harry shivered as he complied, laying down again and wishing he had something harder than the pillow to bite into. "Now, don't make a sound," Vernon reminded him, sounding gleeful. "You know Petunia doesn't like that." Harry could hear the nasty smirk in his voice. The belt came down, hard, across his back, but Harry didn't make a sound. "Humph," Vernon said. "Hang on, Petunia!" he cried, walking over to the door again. Harry heard him disappearing out the door, but the walls were thin enough for him still to hear the following conversation.

"Yes, Vernon?" Petunia sounded resigned.

"Get me the boy's present. The one I bought after the thrashing he didn't get when he first arrived. It was supposed to be delivered today. It did arrive, right?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"No buts! I've waited long enough. It's time to finish what I started. Go, and be quick about it!" Harry remembered a package Petunia had taken in with the post, but she had hidden it right away. Harry sincerely doubted he was going to enjoy his present. At least now he knew why Vernon had never made good on his promise that night.

It seemed like no time passed at all, and suddenly Vernon was back and he was making appreciate sounds as he admired something. "This is for you, freak," he whispered before something much, much sharper and more painful struck across Harry's back. It made him cry out, for the belt was gone, having been replaced by a real whip. Vernon didn't stop, but got right into it, whipping Harry for all he was worth. Again and again, and Harry couldn't stop crying out, but Vernon didn't seem to care at all. Harry tried to roll away, but that only let Vernon get to unblemished skin, so Harry stayed on his back, squeezing the life out of his pillow. He bit into it, hard, tears running in a flood down his face. Vernon kept going. Harry was sure his back was in shreds by now. Suddenly, a loud banging noise registered on the edge of Harry's consciousness. He didn't realise it was the door bursting open.

"Accio whip!" a voice cried, taking away the stabs of pain, though a continuous throbbing ache remained. Harry still closed his eyes and thanked Merlin, even though he wasn't sure how or why Vernon had stopped.

xxx

Severus took a sip from his glass. He had just returned from dinner, having meticulously avoided eye contact with McGonagall, who kept glancing at him with knowing eyes. Of course she didn't know anything, she was merely being suspicious of Severus being even more anti-social than before, if that was possible. Severus sighed, he could do nothing about McGonagall, but thoughts of the witch disappeared from his mind at once when Harry came into view, standing by the sink. It was a familiar sight by now, and Severus admired the way Harry did it with hardly any complaint, instead taking the time to think and daydream. Almost like when Severus did the tedious slicing and chopping for potions.

He watched as the boy tensed when the muggle's voice was heard. He growled low in his throat at the heartless remark from the woman. He sighed with relief alongside Harry when the boy had escaped upstairs. Unfortunately, like Harry, Severus' relief was short-lived.

What to do? By the looks of things that blasted muggle was finally going to beat Harry thoroughly. Instead of dwelling about consequences, however, Severus reacted immediately when he heard Harry practically beg the muggle to beat him instead of that dreadful woman. Within a second Severus was out the door.

He knew he wouldn't get there on time. The trek from the depths of the dungeons to the gates of the school was far too long. That didn't stop Severus from running as fast as he could. Luckily there weren't that many students in the hallways. He was very glad that he hadn't let himself go during the years of the Dark Lord's absence. He had always believed that you needed to take care of your body to keep your mind sharp.

Reaching the Entrance Hall he burst through the doors, slashing his wand angrily and growling the spell to let him hear. In his mind he heard Harry's screams of pain and sped up. He was panting and sweating by the time he reached the gates. Heaving a deep gulp of air he apparated to Privet Drive.

Unable to listen to the screams while he was running, he cancelled the spell as he rushed up the path to the front door. He practically shouted out the charm to unlock the door and then sprinted right up the stairs, completely familiar with the layout of the house. He reached the bedroom; the only sound coming through now was the slap of something against skin. He blasted the door open with a muttered curse and didn't wait a second to take in the scene before getting that man away from Harry. The one thing he did notice, and which made his blood run cold, was that Vernon Dursley wasn't using his belt this time.

"Accio whip!" Severus shouted, breathing hard, his chest heaving. The whip came flying into his hand. He banished it with a flick of his wand, not even conscious of where it ended up. Vernon had whipped around himself and stood glaring at Severus.

"What are you doing in my house!? And WHAT to you think you're doing waving that thing around!?" he roared. Severus shut him up with a silencing charm. He advanced on him with his most towering and "evil Death Eater" presence he could muster.

"_Quiet_," he hissed, his black eyes piecing into the man's very soul. Vernon's eyes became huge and he went from tomato red to pale as a ghost in less than three seconds flat. "You are very close to being brutally tortured and murdered," Severus said very quietly. He wanted to _crucio_ the man, but he knew there were spells to detect Unforgivables in the house, put there by Dumbledore of course. Vernon seemed to rally himself, his face seeming to suggest he didn't believe the threat. Severus smirked evilly and used a simply spell, one used to move heavy object, to slowly bend the bone in the man's arm.

"If you ever touch that boy again, remember this pain and imagine it happening to every bone in your body simultaneously," Severus sneered. Vernon was gripping his arms, his mouth open in a silent scream. "Get out," Severus ordered, flicking his wand to end the spell. The man moved faster than Severus had ever seen. Finally, they were alone, and Severus could look at Harry properly for the first time.

The boy was clutching his pillow, his head buried in it. His back was a bloody mess and Severus' heart gave a painful jolt. He wanted to go after those muggles right now, but he needed to tend to Harry first. He stepped towards the small bed and sat down on the edge by Harry's hips. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Harry," he said softly, without thinking. Harry jerked away, moaning softly at the pain of moving his back. He was still quick to raise his head and turn slightly so he could look at Severus.

"Professor Snape?" he asked incredulously.

"Potter, lie back, I need to heal your back," Severus said, clearing his throat and hoping he was keeping his tone and expression neutral.

"What? What are you doing here? What do you want?" Harry was trying to turn around completely to hide his horrible back. Severus knew just what he had to do to calm the boy. The realisation that he _knew_ so much about the boy was strange.

"Let me heal you," he said softly. "It is not your fault that muggle beat you when you had no wand and he is most likely three times your size." Harry stared at him for a moment, then seemed to deflate and lay back down on his stomach. Severus passed his wand over the wounds, cleaning and closing them up. He would have preferred to use a potion so they wouldn't scar, but scarring like this could be healed by a salve later.

"Why do you care? Why are you here?" Harry whispered. Severus sighed as he continued his work, considering how best to answer.

"I would hope, Mr. Potter, that you can understand the difference between taking points and insulting you, and wanting you dead. In fact, I believe I have proved that I want you very much alive on more than one occasion." Harry sighed gratefully as the last of the whip marks faded, leaving only white streaks behind. His whole back was covered in scars. Severus wished he had the salve with him now.

Then, to his utter amazement, the scars began to fade seemingly of their own accord. Magic shimmered, like when a glamour was being put on, and soon only smooth unblemished skin remained.

"Potter, how?" Severus asked as Harry sat up. The boy looked down at his hands and sighed, reaching down to the floor and grabbing his shirt. Severus stopped him by laying a hand on his wrist.

"I didn't mean to do it," Harry said softly.

"You did a wandless glamour?" Severus asked, just to be sure. Harry nodded, staring down at his hands and fiddling with his shirt. "You've done it before?" Another nod and a sigh.

"Please don't tell anybody… I know I deserve it, but I would really appreciate it if you didn't."

"Deserve it?" Severus asked, confused.

"Because of the pensive incident," Harry whispered, guilt lacing his words.

"Have you told anyone about what you saw?" Severus asked, knowing the answer. Harry glanced up very briefly.

"No."

"Then you don't deserve anything of the sort," Severus declared softly, trying to ignore the little voice that pointed out how he had already taken his revenge a hundred times over. He knew _exactly_ how guilty Harry felt about the incident, and he didn't want him to feel that way anymore. Harry didn't deserve anything but… love. Not that Severus could give him that! But he could definitely make things easier.

"I want you to concentrate," Severus said. "And say _finite_ inside your mind." Harry closed his eyes and did just that. A moment later and the scars on his back had returned, but they were not what caught Severus' eye. All over the boy's hands and arms were burn marks, and his stomach and chest were decorated with scars as well. Another wave of rage towards the muggles consumed Severus, but he clamped down on the feeling and focused on Harry.

"How long have you been using glamours?"

"Since I started muggle grade school," Harry shrugged. "I didn't want the other kids to see, so one day the scars just weren't there. When I came home uncle Vernon accused me of making them disappear and made new ones. He kept doing that until my subconscious magic made the scars return whenever I was here. I kept it up when I went to Hogwarts." Severus swallowed past a lump in his throat. He didn't understand the tight feeling in his chest at all. The boy had more scars than he had himself from countless Death Eater meetings and brewing accidents over the years.

"I can make these go away," he said, using the same soft voice. Harry finally looked up at him, confusion and disbelief in his eyes. "It is a simple enough salve to make. They aren't magical scars so it would only take a moment… I may not treat you very well in class, but I do not hate you enough not to offer my services when you are in need," Severus explained, knowing Harry needed it.

"You'll make it?" he asked.

"I will bring it by tomorrow," Severus promised.

"I still don't understand why you're here. How did you know I needed help?" Severus sighed and looked away from the scarred boy. It would take a lot longer for Harry to truly come to terms with the fact that the nasty Potions Master didn't hate him enough to want him dead. He knew exactly how much self-worth Harry felt.

"Dumbledore has several detection spells on this house. One of them tells us when you are in danger," he twisted the truth. "I came as quickly as I could once it went off." He rose from the bed and fixed the door with a wave of his wand. "I will speak to your relatives, Potter, and return tomorrow with the salve," he said, turning back to the boy on the bed. He looked so small and fragile then that Severus felt the urge to pull him close and just hold him. It was such a sudden and odd feeling he didn't know what to do with it, so he ignored it. Harry's scars were gone again, probably the boy's subconscious feeling vulnerable.

"Can I ask you something, Professor?" Harry said. He looked very reluctant to ask Severus anything, but that was perhaps understandable.

"Go ahead."

"Why can't I send a letter to Sirius? All I get are letters from Hermione, and she only tells me what they're doing in classes and how much they miss me. I don't know anything about what's going on!" Harry's voice had risen to a shout at the end, but he quickly composed himself when he realised he had been raising his voice at a professor.

"Potter," Severus began, then thought about it. He _knew_ how frustrated Harry was when he wasn't getting any information. In fact Harry _hated_ it when secrets were kept from him. Harry thought that was why he always landed himself in trouble, and Severus was beginning to agree with him. Severus could imagine Harry's reaction when he was told of the biggest secret of them all… the prophecy, but Severus wasn't about to reveal that.

"Mr. Black cannot receive mail at Headquarters since the Headmaster has warded the place more thoroughly. Owls cannot approach it," he told Harry. "There is also the fact that… Mr. Black does not know of your expulsion," he added as an afterthought. The reaction was, by now, predictable to Severus. Harry rose from the bed quick as a snitch.

"What!? No one's _told_ him!? Why not?!" he shouted. For once, Severus wasn't angry with the boy for raising his voice at him, but understood it completely. He was beginning to appreciate this new understanding more and more. It made for far less headaches.

"I believe the Headmaster is waiting for the… right moment to tell him," Severus said diplomatically. He almost snorted when Harry rolled his eyes.

"He's only going to make it worse. What's he think Sirius is going to do? Come and rescue me? Ha, fat chance," Harry spat and flopped down on the bed again. Severus knew the boy was referring to his own fear that his godfather would no longer love him because of his… preference. Severus found himself sympathizing. He hadn't done that since… he had never done that. He had never sympathized with anyone before. In a way it was good to know he could.

"I think that is exactly what he would do," Severus said, letting his tone grow a tad darker to show what he thought of Black's ability to remain calm. He also knew it would indirectly reassure the boy, at least he hoped so, which, again, was a pretty new feeling. The evening was turning out to be full of those. Harry was looking at him oddly now.

"Why are you being so nice?"

"I am not being _nice_," Severus stressed, glaring a little. "I am merely answering your questions. You are not my student anymore, Mr. Potter, so I am less likely to become exasperated with your potions skills. Perhaps that is why we seem to be," he paused as if looking for the right word. "Getting along?" he turned it into a question, and saw, to his immensely _secret_ delight that Harry couldn't hold in a grin. There, that was mission accomplished. That meant far more that healing the wounds on the boy's back… He needed to leave now, before all the new sensations overwhelmed him.

"You're weird," Harry declared abruptly. Severus arched an eyebrow, causing Harry to _giggle_. The sound warmed Severus instead of causing the pain he usually associated with any kind of laughter. It healed something inside him as well. Harry suddenly seemed to catch himself in what he was doing and swallowed down his amusement. He looked away, a faint blush creeping into his cheeks. He was embarrassed, Severus knew it easily.

"Thank you for that astute observation, Potter," Severus drawled, trying to let his own amusement show in the right amount so Harry didn't think he was making fun of him. He knew how easily comments like that could be misinterpreted. "I will return tomorrow with the salve. Try and get some rest. And _don't_ try and write to Black. It will do you no good… but I will try and convince Albus to tell him." Harry met his eyes again then, and there was obvious gratitude in them. Mission definitely accomplished.

"Thank you," he said softly, a hint of awe in his voice. Severus nodded once and left, going downstairs where he could hear one muggle woman shouting at a monster of a man.

xxx

Harry lay back down on the bed, still in awe over what Snape had said and done. Snape had saved him! Been nice to him! Understanding even! Saying all the right things and being _funny_!! Had he fallen down the rabbit hole? Had the world turned upside down? Well, Harry couldn't care less if it had because he hadn't felt better since Hogwarts, and it had only been moments ago that he had been getting the beating of his life!

He shook his head to himself. He couldn't explain the mystery that was Severus Snape. Could it be that it was simply because there was no potions class around them? Could the dour man actually act like a decent human being? It appeared so. Harry knew the man had saved his life before, but he had thought that was because of some teacher's duty or Dumbledore's orders or something. Could it have been simply because the man wasn't an evil bastard?

And that voice! Harry had thought it did things to him when spewing insults, but nothing could have prepared him for that voice being kind and soft towards him. He had _giggled!_ Like a girl! He should have died of embarrassment, but Snape hadn't even teased him about it! Harry had gotten goose bumps all over just listening, not to mention _looking_. The black eyes were so different when not filled with scorn. Harry took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and the torrents of emotions within him. He wasn't sure what had changed, or what it meant to him, but it had been an experience he wasn't likely to forget!

Completely exhausted from the whipping, not to mention all the exclamation marks, Harry fell into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of long-fingered hands rubbing salve all over him.

-:-

There, how's that? You like it? No? Hate it perhaps? Feel free to tell me either way! Just to make things clear: Sev has not fallen in love with Harry yet, nor is Harry in love with Sev. Harry feels a strong attraction, and Severus feels protective. Don't worry, things will… blossom, eventually! (evil smirk worthy of Severus)

**Question for reviewers:** Just a quick question, I know many of your have technically already answered this, but how do you feel about Remus/Sirius? Many of you specified you would like Sirius to live if there was some slash between them. **I am not saying I have decided to let Sirius live! That still remains a surprise!** I am merely wondering if you want them together, and how much you would like to see of them together. (Bear in mind that **if** Sirius dies I'll have to write a mourning!Remus, obviously, but I wouldn't write too much of it) Would you prefer I just mention it in passing, have real snogging scenes, or just friends? … I guess it wasn't such a quick question after all… oh, well.


	10. Chapter 10

Lol. I was so tired last night I wrote Dumbledore instead of McGonagall. I've corrected it now. Sorry to those who thought that a little odd.

Thank you all for your wonderful feedback, as usual. I find myself inspired. This story is turning out to be quite longer than I anticipated, but I don't think people mind much, do you?

I must apologise for this chapter. I did not include Severus' conversation with the Dursleys after he left Harry. I had already written this when someone pointed out that they would like to see that. I'm sure, however, that your own devious minds can conjure up much better "conversation" than I could ever write. So lets just imagine Severus warning them with "stern words" shall we?

I believe some of you were waiting for this chapter, since we have finally arrived at the end of the school year… (Cue ominous music) (steeples fingers together and says: 'excellent' in Mr. Burns manner)

-:-

Severus spent the entire night diligently working to make a perfect salve for Harry, though in his mind he merely saw himself doing his job; making potions for a student in need. Harry would of course probably never attend Hogwarts again, but Severus didn't doubt for a moment that, once Dumbledore returned, the Headmaster would never abandon Harry or his education… and neither would Severus.

Once finished he got a few hours sleep and then got up to teach his horrible classes. Somehow Harry's absence had become a torture instead of the peace he had first anticipated. Because now, every hour in the classroom meant an hour without the Scios Totalus on.

Finally, the day was over, and Severus had but one thing to do before he could check in on Harry and then go to Privet Drive in person. He was going to write a short letter to Sirius Black. Since Severus had been unable to contact Dumbledore he thought it best to simply inform Black about Harry's expulsion. What was the worst that could happen? The mutt was practically locked up at Grimmauld Place. And Harry wanted Sirius to know...

After sending the short missive through the magic communications system he sat in his favourite chair and decided to have a quick look. He wanted to make sure the muggles were keeping their word. Severus had been quite forceful last night…

To Severus' surprise and relief Harry was still in bed, or perhaps had just gone to bed very early. He was sleeping peacefully, the sunlight shining through the window making his appearance softer, younger. Severus thought it was a beautiful sight, and felt the corner of his mouth twitch upwards when Harry nuzzled his pillow. The boy was probably still exhausted from last night. The spells had only healed his skin. Severus turned off the device without trying to hear Harry's thoughts. They would only be dreams anyway. He collected the salve and left his rooms, walking at a more leisurely pace this time as he came up out of the dungeons.

Since it wasn't in the middle of the night this time Severus apparated into some bushes down the street and walked up to the house, keeping his eyes and ears open for any Death Eater spied. He hadn't been informed of any, but Voldemort could change his mind at the drop of a hat. For now, though, the Dark Lord was more anxious to get the prophecy. After he knew its contents he would decide if Harry needed eliminating right away, or if they could wait for the boy to turn seventeen.

Severus went inside without knocking. The woman's head peaked out of the kitchen, but disappeared so quickly Severus might have imagined it. The "muggle box", as Severus called it, was on in the living room, but there were other sounds, coming from upstairs, that caught Severus' attention. He ascended the stairs quickly and made his way to Harry's bedroom.

Harry was halfway under the bed, only his feet sticking out. He was fully dressed now, his movement suggesting he was in a hurry. He came up and in his hand was a folded fabric, Severus guessed its function easily with one glance at his silvery surface. Harry pocketed it as he rose.

"Potter." The one word caused the boy to spin around. Relief was, oddly enough, the clearest emotion, but there was also anxiety and fear.

"Professor Snape! You've got to help me! He's got Sirius! At the Ministry! He's _torturing_ him!" Harry was right in front of Severus now, tugging at his robes. Severus put his hands on the boy's shoulders.

"Calm down. Explain." Harry took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I had another vision, like with Mr. Weasley, and Voldemort's got Sirius at the Ministry and is torturing him! I've got to go save him!" Severus tried not to flinch at the name.

"You are not doing anything right now," Severus informed the boy sternly. This could be what Dumbledore warned about; the Dark Lord planting visions. Or was Black really in danger? "We can't know for sure if the vision was real, and besides, need I remind you about your current lack of wand?" Harry scowled and tried to shrug off the hands. Severus let go immediately and Harry took a step back, the scowl turning into a glare.

"I don't need reminding, thanks! So what if it _could_ be fake? I can't live with myself if I assume it's not real and Sirius dies!"

"It does not matter one way or another-" Severus stopped himself. This was not the way to convince the boy, he knew that now. Harry responded to reassurance, not threats or authority. "I sent a letter not twenty minutes ago telling Black about your expulsion. He should he here at any moment to rescue you I'm sure." Harry's anger seemed to evaporate and he blinked.

"You told him? Just like that?"

"There was no reason not to inform him," Severus answered succinctly.

"But how did you send the letter?" Harry obviously thought he had pointed out a major flaw in Severus' story. In return Severus couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"We have other ways of sending things than through unreliable owls," he explained impatiently.

"But I can't wait for him," Harry complained, his eyes pleading. "Let's go to Grimmauld Place and check." When Severus merely pursed his lips and refused to answer Harry grew frustrated. "You didn't have the vision! You didn't hear him screaming! I need to see that he's alright." Severus knew he shouldn't. It was a direct violation of Dumbledore's orders; keep the boy at his relative's house. But Harry's eyes were so full of fear, and Severus knew what sort of ghastly scenarios Harry could come up with if not reassured. He sighed and nodded. Harry's face lit up and he almost sagged with relief.

"Come. Stay close and _do as I say_." Harry nodded obediently, though Severus doubted his sincerity.

…

When they arrived outside Grimmauld Place Severus didn't let go of Harry's shoulder. He dragged the boy up the stairs and into the house, his eyes scanning the street to make sure they had apparated inside the wards and not been seen. Harry made soft noises of protest, but since he was getting what he wanted he didn't struggle. Once inside Severus cast a few extra wards on the door.

"Sirius! Sirius!" Harry immediately shouted, bolting from Severus' side and practically hurling himself down the stairs to the kitchen. Severus walked through the rooms on the ground floor. They met again in the hallway afterwards, Harry's eyes full of worry, and together they went upstairs.

"Black?" Severus called into the library. Harry was biting his lower lip and almost shaking with concern for his godfather. He had stopped shouting.

"He's not here," he whispered fearfully. "Voldemort's got him."

"Don't say his name," Severus admonished without much heat. "We have not checked the whole house," he reminded the boy. Suddenly a sound was heard behind them and they both spun around.

"Kreacher!" Harry exclaimed at the sight of the old house elf. "Where is Sirius!?"

"Master Black is not here," the elf said with obvious relish. He disappeared down the hall, muttering something about being free of the blood traitor. Harry turned wide eyes on Severus.

"There! You see! He's gone!" Severus had to admit; things weren't looking too good for the mutt. "We've got to get to the Ministry," he dimly heard Harry shouting. His mind was rapidly calculating the time it would take to alert the rest of the Order. Could he get in contact with Dumbledore? He hadn't been able to this morning. "Snape!" His eyes snapped to Harry's. They were huge and green, begging him to help. He had never seen that expression directed at him before.

"Check the upstairs just in case. I'm not going gallivanting on some Gryffindor rescue mission on the word of a house elf. Meet me down here again. We will take the floo." Harry nodded and sprinted out of the room. Severus summoned some parchment, ink and a quill. He scrawled out a note hastily and sent it through the slot system to his office in the dungeons, charming it with a spell he had hoped he would never have need of. At least he didn't have to rely on the floo to send it. Who knows where it would have ended up?

"He's not anywhere upstairs!" Harry cried as he skidded to a halt beside Severus.

"Typical," Severus muttered. "Very well, we will go to the Ministry. I have a fairly good idea where and why Sirius is being held captive. We will go under your cloak." He turned to Harry and pieced the green eyes with his own. "If we are discovered _I_ will emerge from the clock. _You _will stay hidden no matter what and _leave_ if anything happens. Is that clear?"

"I can't just leav-"

"You will do as I say or I will leave you here," Severus cut him off. Harry glared for a few moments.

"Fine." Severus nodded once and pulled the cloak out of Harry's pocket. If everything didn't go to hell, then they might be able to get Harry something he should have heard years ago, as far as Severus was concerned… and save the mutt of course. Perhaps using the Scios Totalus had given him a new rebellious streak? As the green flames surrounded them all Severus knew was that Harry deserved to know why his godfather was, in all likelihood, already dead.

xxx

Sirius sat down to enjoy a book. Well, enjoy was perhaps a strong word. He read practically anything just to keep him mind off Harry. Because of the new wards against owls he hadn't heard a thing from his godson in months. Just as he grabbed the _riveting_ book on mere-people's medicinal use of sea-plants a letter came through the slot high on the wall. It floated down to him and Sirius grabbed it at once. He had expected Dumbledore's handwriting, had hoped for Harry's, but had definitely _not_ anticipated Snape's. He tore it open with a frown and started to read.

_Black _

_I write to inform you about certain developments Albus has not wished you know about before. However, due to Mr. Potter's wishes I have taken it upon myself to do so now. I have been unable to contact Albus, so please do not prove him right by reacting… violently. _

_Mr. Potter was expelled from Hogwarts the day after Dolores Umbridge became Headmistress. The grounds for expulsion are purely fictive, so it is pointless to list them here. Mr. Potter is currently living with is relatives, where _the blood wards will protect him.

_Do not to anything foolish. _

_Severus Snape _

Sirius was gaping like a fish by the time he was finished reading. Expelled!? And Dumbledore hadn't told him? He clenched his fist and threw the letter _violently_ into the fire. He jumped to his feet and was about to rush off when a thought occurred to him.

What if it was some sick joke of Snape's? The man hated him enough to try and get him out of the house and killed. There was only one way that was both secure and would get him the right information quickly: Go to Hogwarts. He stepped into the floo and was whisked away to the Headmaster's office.

He stumped out of the fireplace and straightened himself. Looking about he noted that nothing was changed. Lucky for him that Umbridge hadn't gotten into the office, he thought a little belatedly. He quickly transformed into a dog and raced from the room, the doors opening for him easily since he came from the inside. He ran flat out to the Gryffindor Tower.

The portrait of the Fat Lady saw him coming and made a startled sound. Sirius skidded to a halt, but his paws slid on the stone floor and he crashed right into the portrait, causing the Fat Lady to cry out in indignation. The commotion was heard inside the common room and the frame swung aside moments later to reveal a bemused Ron Weasley. He became wide-eyed when he spotted the dog.

"Snuffles?" he whispered. Sirius nodded his head. "What the bloody hell are you doing here? Has something happened?" Again Sirius nodded. Ron looking up and down the hall once. "Stay here for a second." The redhead disappeared again. Sirius started pacing in front of the portrait. It didn't take long, however, before it swung open again. Ron stepped out closely followed by Hermione. "There, I told you," Ron declared, sounding deeply offended. Hermione didn't even notice him. She was already crouching down by Sirius.

"Snuffles?" Sirius barked impatiently. "Right. Come along," Hermione said brusquely, standing and walking down the hallway. Sirius followed, Ron taking up the rear, and they all made their way to the nearest empty classroom. Hermione put up several wards, but not before giving Ron an odd look. He folded his arms firmly over his chest and put on a defiant expression. Sirius changed back.

"Where's Harry?" was the first thing he asked. Hermione's eyebrows rose in shock.

"What do you mean? Has no one told you?"

"You mean it's true!?" Sirius cried. "Damn Snivellus, damn Umbridge and bloody well damn Dumbledore too!" he raged and punched the wall. Hermione jumped back and Ron looked about ready to reach for his wand.

"Sirius, calm down. What's the matter with you?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"I'll tell you what's the matter! No one told me Harry wasn't in school. He's been living with those muggles for over a month! I need to go to him!" He turned and reached for the door.

"No!" Sirius you can't! He's there for a _reason_," Hermione pleaded, coming to stand in front of Sirius. "The blood ward-"

"Sod the wards. Grimmauld Place is just as safe! I haven't even had an owl in months! Safer than Azkaban if you ask me."

"That's hardly a good example, considering who you are," Hermione pointed out with a roll of her eyes.

"Whatever, the fact is I could have had my godson living with me, _learning_, instead of being hold-up in a place I know he hates! He told me so in third year he'd rather live with me!"

"Sirius," Hermione breathed, holding up her hands to stop the flow of words. "No one doubts where Harry would prefer to be. But you can't just run off to Privet Drive! You'll be captured!" Sirius growled as if he was still in dog form and started pacing again. Hermione and Ron shared a worried glance, forgetting their quarrel for a brief moment. Sirius abruptly stopped.

"I'm going to see Snivellus. I need to have a word or two with him," he snarled and then he was a dog again. Hermione sighed and took down her wards. The dog was gone the second the door was open. Hermione and Ron followed at a run.

They reached the dungeons with all of them completely out of breath, even the dog. Sirius continued to pant in human form as he found the door to Snape's office. He banged loudly on the door. Hermione made an irritated hushing noise. Sirius didn't even spare her a glance. No sounds came from within. Sirius was about to give up when the large bust of Slytherin that stood beside the door suddenly opened its stone eyes.

"The Potions Master is not in," it said in a superior tone.

"Well, where is he?" Sirius demanded.

"If you have the correct password there is a note for a Phoenix," the head replied mysteriously. Sirius' brow furrowed. Hermione was, of course, the one who figured it out first.

"A note for anyone in the Order," she said. Sirius frowned.

"So I just say the Order password? Why would he use that on his office?"

"Try it," Ron said. Sirius glanced at him and then shrugged, saying the password for the floo at Grimmauld Place, the only Order password he knew. Everyone seemed to hold their breath for a moment, but nothing spectacular happened. Only a small note slid from under the door, as if someone had pushed it under. Sirius picked it up and nearly ripped it apart as he got it open. He was getting really sick of reading notes from Snivellus.

_If I do not return I am dead, and have therefore locked my office. Only Albus Dumbledore will be able to enter it. Since I assume you are an Order member, know that I am at the Ministry of Magic, Department of Mysteries. Harry Potter is with me. _

Sirius felt cold all over as the note fell from his numb fingers. Hermione picked it up and read it. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Next Ron ripped it from her and read it with a frown.

"Bloody hell," he muttered. "But Harry doesn't even have a wand."

"Shit," Sirius whispered. "I've got to go. _Now_."

"I'm coming with you," Hermione declared. When Sirius looked at her doubtfully she glared. "You need all the help you can get. Who knows what's waiting for us there." Sirius conceded the point with a nod.

"I'm coming too," Ron said firmly.

"Why?" Hermione asked, glaring at her former friend. "You hate Harry now." Sirius looked between the pair confusedly.

"I don't care what you think, I'm coming," Ron repeated.

"Let's just go," Sirius cut in before Hermione could protest further. The pair nodded and they set off together at a run. They had only gotten around one corner when they practically ran right into Draco Malfoy. There was a tense silence as the trio exchanged glances.

"Stun him?" Sirius suggested. Ron drew his wand immediately.

"No, wait!" Hermione cried, but she never got any further as someone else just arrived on the scene, having been told by portraits of students running wild.

"What do we have here?" the sickly sweet voice of Dolores Umbridge floated over to them. Her heels echoed off the stone walls as she came down the corridor. Draco turned his back on the Gryffindors to greet her.

"I just caught two Gryffindors out after curfew with Sirius Black, Headmistress," he declared proudly, pulling his wand and levelling at his captors.

"Expelliarmus!" Sirius' wand flew out of his hand. Ron opened his mouth to utter a curse when he too was disarmed. Umbridge caught them with a twisted smile. Draco stepped close to Hermione and held out his hand.

"Your wand, Granger," he said. He gazed at her with an evil smirk on his lips.

To be continued… (smirk)


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I noticed that over 100 people now have the story on alert! That's actually a bit intimidating, to know so many people want to read more. I better make sure this chapter's good then!

Since I absolutely LOVED the movie (best movie of the bunch if you ask me!) I have been very much inspired by it, and have tried to convey some of the same atmosphere we saw in it. I have, of course, also tried to stay close to the book's descriptions too, but hey, it's fanfiction so who cares much accuracy?

-:-

"Stay close," Severus whispered. It was a tight fit under the cloak, and Severus had to bend slightly so their feet wouldn't be visible, but they managed, mostly thanks to Harry's small frame.

"Which door is it?" Harry asked, eyeing the twelve black doors. Severus bit his tongue to keep from berating the boy for such a stupid question, seeing as the walls had just revolved at dizzying speeds. Old habits die hard, but Severus was determined to kick that particular habit altogether. So, instead he simply answered calmly.

"I'm not sure." He thought for a moment, considering what he had heard about the Department from contacts who worked as Unspeakables. The Hall of Prophecies could not be reached directly from the room they were in. Severus urged Harry forward and entered the room opposite the door they entered, or at least where the door they entered had been before the damned spinning.

With a push the door opened and they entered what appeared to be room to study time. Severus noted the Time-Turners and many clocks.

"What is this place?" Harry asked, looking about with curiosity and a fair amount of confusion.

"Time," Severus answered, not caring to launch into a detailed discussion. He ushered Harry down the length of the room and hoped they were headed in the right direction. Opening the door at the end Severus was relieved to see that they were. Harry gasped at the sight of the seemingly endless rows of high shelves filled with hundreds and hundreds of orbs. Some glowed faintly, adding to the light from the candles at the end of each row, but others were murky black.

"This was in my dream," Harry whispered breathlessly. Severus scowled to himself. He was still suspicious of the vision. "Row 97, I remember." Severus glanced at the numbers on the rows and then started in the right direction. Harry almost stumbled, but managed to keep close and not fall. "What are they?" he whispered as they passed number 75. Severus stopped and looked down at Harry, the green eyes gave off a strange colour in the blue light from the candles. Severus put a finger to his lips and Harry nodded in understanding, curbing his curiosity with a hard swallow as he glanced at the mysterious orbs. Severus cast a silent charm on their feet to muffle their approach. He had a feeling the Death Eaters would either be waiting by the prophecy, or they would wait for Harry to get it and then ambush them on the way out. Severus was starting to seriously doubt his decision-making skills.

'_92, 93, 94, 95… 96… 97.'_ Severus glanced down at Harry, who nodded and pulled slightly on Severus' sleeve. They walked a way up the row and Severus caught a glimpse of the name. He heard Harry gasp.

"But what is it?" Harry whispered so faintly that Severus almost didn't catch it. "Why's it got my name on it?" Severus looked down, his eyes locking onto Harry's.

"It is your destiny," he whispered back, feeling very cramped suddenly in the small space under the cloak. For some reason he imagined Harry exploding in rage when he found out the secrets kept from him, and he didn't fancy being anywhere near the boy when that happened. Still, Harry had a right to know these things now. "A prophecy made before your birth. The Dark Lord wants it because he fears it tells of how you will destroy him." Harry's eyes were wide and full of disbelief and alarm. Severus put a hand on the bony shoulder. "Only the one of whom the prophecy was made can remove it. That is why he kidnapped Black."

"Sirius," Harry breathed, glancing around as if to spot him. "We need to search for him," he pleaded.

"Yes, but first… I think you should take the prophecy." Harry's eyes snapped back to Severus' black ones, the faint blue light making them seem deep as chasms of nothingness. Harry seemed to hesitate, but Severus knew the boy's natural curiosity would get the better of him. Harry turned back to the row and eyed the faintly glowing orb with trepidation. He cast a fleeting look up and down the row to make sure no one was there, and then slowly he slid his hand from between the folds of the cloak. In the course of what seemed like an eternity Harry's fingers deftly closed around the orb as if Severus was watching a slow-motion snitch catch. Then, quick as lightning, Harry snatched it and brought it up to his face under the cloak. He studied it for a brief moment and then pocketed it. Just as he opened his mouth to speak a loud _clink_ was heard, echoing obscenely through the otherwise peaceful chamber.

Harry and Severus both turned their heads to look down the row. Footsteps could be heard, coming closer and closer, and the _clinking_ noise echoing with every other step, making it seem as though it wasn't a person walking towards them, but some strange three-legged monster from the darkness. The sound also guaranteed that Severus knew exactly who it was coming down to meet them.

From the blackness emerged into the feint blue light a tall masked figure, walking with a serpent-headed cane, clinking loudly on the stone floor. A hand came up and the masked was removed, revealing the pale, blue-tinted face of Lucius Malfoy.

"Harry, Harry, Harry," he said, shaking his head in mock-reproach. Severus wanted very much to punch the man, or perhaps feed him a bowel-exploding potion. "Playing hide-and-seek _again_, Harry?" Severus felt Harry tense beside him and he squeezed the thin shoulder hard enough to leave a mark. Harry didn't flinch or move. Severus lowered his head so his mouth was just next to Harry's ear.

"Leave," he whispered, and then he stepped in front of Harry, parting the robe, but making it so he seemed to drop it behind him, when in fact he let it drop on Harry's head. He felt the boy's hands desperately trying to grab his robes, but he moved too swiftly. He prayed the brat would run for his life. Lucius' eyes went wide with bewilderment, a sight Severus had rarely seen. It mattered little what the man thought now. Severus was a dead man. The fact that he had not been informed of newest plan to get the prophecy, and yet had turned up, proved his allegiances.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing here?" he asked, dropping his mask in a robe pocket and drawing his wand. An unexplained Death Eater was always cause for alarm, no matter which side you were on. Severus surreptitiously drew his own wand, but kept it hidden within the folds of his robe. All he needed to do was keep the man distracted enough so Harry could get away. Harry's life was all that mattered. Lucius was looking at him with an odd expression, his eyes narrowing steadily. Severus saw the moment his suspicions turned to conviction, and once Lucius had decided on something, he didn't hesitate.

"_Crucio_!" Lucius yelled just as Severus cried "_Protego_!" The curse was absorbed into Severus' shield. Lucius followed with a cutting curse, which Severus managed to deflect. He heard footsteps coming from all directions. Where was Harry? Just then Lucius shot ropes out of his wand. Severus dove to the side and they flew past him, only to wrap themselves around something solid, but invisible.

"_Confringo_!" Severus yelled, throwing the curse at Lucius, who had been momentarily shocked stiff by the sight. He was blasted off his feet and flew backwards several yards. Severus got up and removed the ropes from Harry. He pulled the boy to his feet without taking off the cloak. Pushing the invisible mass in the right direction he yelled, "Go!" He felt the body underneath his fingers struggle for a moment, then stilled. A breath of silence followed and then Severus heard footsteps sprinting down the aisle.

"I knew it!" a screeching female voice cried. Severus spun around. Lucius had gotten to his feet and was moving swiftly towards him with Bellatrix and two other Death Eaters. Even with masks Severus guessed it was the Carrows.

"I'll take care of the traitor. You go after Potter. Now!" The three Death Eaters didn't hesitate. Lucius threw a curse at Severus just as the others rushed past him. Severus managed to protect himself, at the cost of letting the others go after Harry…

xxx

Sirius lay on the floor, unable to move as he was tied up. Hermione was sitting at wand-point in a chair in front of Umbridge's desk. Ron was standing in a corner, staring at Draco's wand almost poking him between the eyes.

"Tell me!" Umbridge urged once again. "If you confess and tell me how Dumbledore is involved in the escape of Sirius Black then the Ministry will go easy on you." Her voice was thick with insincerity. Hermione almost gagged.

"I don't know anything," she repeated. Umbridge huffed, but then something gleamed in her eyes.

"Since the Potions Master has mysteriously disappeared after your visit to the dungeons, I am forced to use other means of _persuasion_. The Cruciatus Curse, I think, should loosen your tongue."

"You can't, that's illegal!" Hermione cried, her eyes wide with fear. Ron made a strangled cry, but Draco pushed him back against the wall and levelled the wand at Ron's chest in warning.

"Leave the interpretation of laws up to qualified people," Umbridge advised, smirking now, all traced of falsely sweet smiles gone.

"Headmistress," Draco suddenly interrupted, his voice neutral, but with a hint of anticipation in it. Hermione held her breath. Umbridge turned to her favourite student. "If there should be an investigation is it not best _not_ to use that curse? Just in case your wand is examined…" his voice trailed off as if he wanted to say more.

"What do you suggest then?" Umbridge prompted impatiently.

"I have an unregistered wand," Draco pronounced. Umbridge raised her eyebrows. "For emergencies," he added. "But it means that I would have to do the honours, since such an advanced curse would only work for the wand's master." Umbridge regarded Draco critically for a few moments. Draco gazed back steadily, his wand still pointed at Ron, who looked about ready to pop.

"Do you think you can muster enough… willpower to do the task properly?" she enquired. Draco's eyes glided over to Hermione, a wicked smirk curling his lips.

"Oh, I think I can manage," he drawled.

"Very well, go to," Umbridge agreed. Pointing her wand at Ron when Draco left him. The blond stepped up to Hermione, looking down with glinting eyes. Hermione was shaking from head to toe, her eyes bright with fear. She still met his gaze. Draco lifted his wand to her neck. Hermione took a deep breath.

"Stupefy!" Draco cried just as he whipped around. The spell hit Umbridge right in the head. She toppled over with only a dull thud. Ron stood staring down at her in shock.

"That's the last time you get to question how much I can _manage_," Draco spat. "Merlin, I've wanted to do that for _so_ long." He turned back to Hermione; his eyes softer than Hermione had ever seen them. "Sorry about that," he said, holding out a hand. Hermione was still shaking slightly when she grabbed it and Draco helped her to her feet. She searched his eyes, noting that the glint was still there, but it had meant something completely different than what she had assumed. Draco had been mischievous, devious even, but not malicious.

"Anyone going to help me before I die of old age?" Sirius called from the floor. There was a fluffy of activity as the three Gryffindors got their wands back and Draco tied Umbridge up. "Let's go," Sirius announced. He looked at Draco. "You coming?" Draco nodded. "Right. Floo. Now."

xxx

Harry ran down past row after row of prophecies. He desperately tried to hold the cloak around him, but with the noise he was making it wasn't doing him much good anyway. He heard people running behind him and threw a glance over his shoulder. Three Death Eaters. They were gaining on him. He saw a door up ahead along the wall and sped up as much as he could, but that meant the cloak billowed up more and his feet showed.

A tripping jinx, of all things, made him crash forwards and slide across the floor, groaning from the impact. His knees were visible now and the Death Eaters were almost upon him. He looked around frantically for inspiration to strike. Things didn't look very bright. Almost by chance Harry's eyes strayed upwards to the tall shelf of orbs on his right and instinct took over. Reaching upwards as if he was almost at the snitch, he felt a surge of magic to match his desperation. As Bellatix came to stand in front of him, the other two flanking her, he yanked his arm down as if he had pulled of a cord.

The little amount of wandless magic was all it took for all the light-weight orbs to roll off their shelves. Over a hundred of them rained down and the Death Eaters cried out as the first hit them right in the head. The one on the right caught a particularly big one and was knocked out straight away. Bellatrix and the other masked Death Eater cried and tried to shield themselves. Bellatrix managed to throw up a shield and started running away. The other Death Eater pointed his wand up, but was hit in the face before a shield could emerge, the mask not helping to protect him. He fell to the ground, the orbs continuing to pelt both of them. Harry remained on the floor until the rain of glass had stopped and then scrambled to his feet.

He pulled off the cloak and stuffed it into his pocket, then he stumbled over the bodies of the Death Eaters and grabbed the first wand he spotted. The magic felt odd, but the wand seemed to welcome his touch fairly well. He certainly felt much better. He hadn't held a wand in over a month, and it felt like coming home. He didn't spare the bodies a second glance. Instead he ran to the door and tore it open, disappearing inside. He knew Snape would do Voldemort's job and kill him if he came back now, with or without a wand. At least he could look for Sirius. Perhaps Voldemort was keeping him somewhere else?

Harry almost fell again as he rushed into the room, managing to pull back just in time. It was huge and rectangular. Stone seats forming steps led down to a sunken pit. In the very centre Harry saw an ancient-looking archway, a black curtain hanging within it and swaying as if in a slight breeze. Harry frowned at it. He didn't like the look of it at all, but couldn't keep himself from moving towards it down the steps.

He was only halfway down, however, when several other doors along the walls burst open and Death Eaters flooded in. Bellatrix was leading the party. Even if Harry now had a wand, he would be no match for them. From behind him, through the door he had come through, another black-robed figure emerged, but a much more welcome one.

"Snape!" Harry exclaimed. The man face was half completely white and half bloodied. The contrast made him look like some strange character from a deck of cards.

"Duck!" he cried and Harry dived to the step below him. The curse flew just over his body. Severus was already spitting curses back at the group. Harry jumped to his feet and was glad to note that he hadn't fallen completely out of practice. He hit several Death Eaters, fairly far across the room, but they were still outnumbered.

"Harry!" a voice cried, one that Harry had been looking for. He found the owner running towards him, having come through one of the doors at the opposite end. Sirius was followed by Hermione, Malfoy and Ron of all people. Harry wasn't sure if he was more shocked over Ron or Malfoy, but he hardly had time to dwell on it. All four of them started duelling with the Death Eaters immediately. But Harry, having been distracted by their arrival, was hit with a blasting curse and thrown backwards. He landed hard a few steps down and unfortunately started rolling off it. He didn't stop until he was at the very bottom. Sirius and the others rushed down, throwing curses and spells to cover him.

The Death Eaters still managed to gain ground, and as Hermione bent to help Harry up, they had reached the bottom as well. Severus was duelling fiercely and Malfoy didn't seem to hesitate at all to fight against his father's "colleagues". Harry shook his head to try and clear it and shrugged off Hermione's help. He was about to get up when he heard a crunch from his pocket. Looking down, he noticed a wisp of smoke coming through the fabric of his jeans, but it appeared to be all gone by now. The prophecy was broken, and he hadn't heard a word.

Jumping up, Harry was filled with a rage and he started spewing all the worst curses he could remember. They were soon quite spread out, and by now almost evenly matched. Harry threw up a shield as one Death Eater threw a purple curse at him, probably very nasty. He countered with a stunning spell. Just then he heard a scream.

Bellatix had somehow ended up duelling Hermione, and the girl had been hit with a burning curse. She clutched the side of her face as she screamed in agony. Malfoy and Ron both reacted almost exactly the same way, but only initially. Both turned their attention towards Hermione, matching looks of horror on their faces. Malfoy, being right next to her, conjured a green liquid with what looked to be a fairly advanced spell. He poured it over her and Hermione stopped screaming.

"Crucio!" a voice shouted at the same time that Bellatix sent off another curse. It was not directed at Hermione.

Harry turned towards the archway; the veil was fluttering as if welcoming the one who was falling backwards. Harry watched as the body fell, time slowing down. The veil surrounded it and, with a last flutter as if a wind had blown by, all stilled, leaving no trace of the person who had fallen through. Harry wasn't even conscious of reacting. All he knew was that he was running and then he was being restrained.

"No, Harry. He's gone. He's gone," an urgent voice spoke in his ear. Curses were flying again. Malfoy and Hermione were shielding them from the Death Eaters. Harry didn't hear the doors bursting open, he hardly registered that Order members had flooded the chamber. He did realise that Hermione was on her knees now that the Order members were taking care of the fighting. He shrugged off the arms that held him and dropped to his knees by her side, enveloping her in a tight embrace. She turned and buried her face in his chest, sobbing hard.

The look on Ron's face had morphed so quickly from rage to surprise, the Cruciatus Curse had faded from his lips as his mouth had formed a large gaping hole, but his shout had not been heard. He had fallen before he had the chance to utter it. A cackle of a laugh reached Harry's ears. He looked up and saw Bellatix gleefully smirking from the sidelines, almost disappearing into the dark corners of the dimply-lit chamber. Harry was up in a flash, running towards her.

"Crucio!" he yelled, trying to finish what Ron had tried. Bellatix yelled a curse at the same time and a fire hurtled towards him. Harry dived out of the way. Once the curse had passed him he barely got a glimpse of Bellatrix' smirking face before her next curse was physically in his face. He was thrown backwards, much higher than a normal blasting curse, and landed almost across the room. A sharp pain in the back of his skull was the last thing he knew before he blacked out.

-:-

This whole chapter was murder to write. I hope you don't all hate me now. What can I say? I thought someone needed to die in this fic (well, actually, more people need to die before the end) and since all of you were so dead set against it being Sirius…

Please excuse all mistakes. Once again I write when I'm dead tired. I'm going to bed now. Would be nice to wake up to a few reviews….. (blatant hint)


	12. Chapter 12

Hello there people. Sorry for sudden pause in the quick updates, but I had my mum and sis visiting me this weekend and I didn't have a moment's peace. Next weekend I'm going to my best friend's wedding so there'll probably be another pause in updates then. I'll see if I can't squeeze in a couple of updates this week, shall I?

As always thank you for the wonderful reviews. There seems to be a little confusion (more than I had anticipated) on who actually fell through the veil. This chapter will make it abundantly clear. Sorry for making it difficult on purpose, but it's very easy when you're evil like me ;-)

-:-

Harry came so slowly back to consciousness he wasn't even aware of it. It wasn't until he started recognising the images he was seeing in his mind's eye that he became fully coherent.

_'Ron,'_ was his first thought. The next thought was lost in the jumble of images and emotions that welled up inside him. He felt so overwhelmed he gasped and clutched the soft fabric he was lying on. _'Ron's gone.'_ Even though Harry wasn't entirely sure what the thing Ron had fallen through was, he felt its finality in his very bones. Ron was dead. And right then it didn't matter what had happened, or what Ron had said and done the last few months. All Harry could remember was the moments before that, and Ron's gaping mouth as he was about to scream, the red hair disappearing behind the veil. He felt the strong arms around him, holding him back, and Sirius' voice in his ear, telling him Ron was gone.

"Harry?" a soft voice, barely above a whisper, reached him. His eyes snapped open. The whiteness of the Hospital Wing made him shut them tight again. "Harry?" the voice repeated more forcefully. Recognising it, Harry made an effort to squint. Hermione was sitting by his bed, her eyes puffy. She looked worse than Harry had ever seen her. She had most likely not slept at all, and by the looks of it she had cried the whole night instead. "Harry," she whispered again, her voice full of pain. She bowed her head and covered her face with her hands, sobs starting to wrack her frame. She looked so fragile then, nothing like the strong Gryffindor Harry knew. He knew he should say something to comfort her, but words escaped him. His emotions were so blurred and confusing he felt nauseated.

"Mr. Potter," Madam Pomfrey was suddenly upon him, swishing her wand over him in her familiar manner as though he was just in for another Quiddith related injury. Hermione tried to pull herself together, and Madam Pomfrey hardly took notice of her, something that was very out-of-character. Usually the first thing she would do was send Harry's visitors packing. "You seem to have come out of things relatively unscratched this time. A concussion and a fractured wrist only, but that's all taken care of. The Headmaster wants to see you."

"The Headmaster?" Harry blinked. Pomfrey gave a rare, relieved smile.

"Yes, Headmaster Dumbledore is back. Apparently Voldemort turned up just after you were knocked out and the Minister witnessed it. Umbridge seems to be missing, though," she said and then she ushered Hermione off and closed she curtains around the bed so Harry could get out of the hospital pyjamas. Hermione wasn't there when he left for the Headmaster's office.

Walking the hallways of Hogwarts gave Harry a bitter feeling, accompanied by sadness and a deep longing for past days. Days when Ron wasn't being stupid and Harry was still perfectly content to pretend he was straight as a wand. It was odd, Harry supposed, to be longing for days when the threat of Voldemort loomed just as great as today, but in Harry's mind he'd take any of those days over this one, even thinking Sirius was a murderer or thinking he was going insane because he was hearing voices. Coming home to Hogwarts brought no joy, and realising that he didn't really have any _truly_ "good old days" to speak of whatsoever made Harry feel like his heart had been ripped apart and tossed through the veil after Ron. His entire life was just one struggle after another, and even his memories of laughing with Ron and Hermione were somehow tainted because of what Ron had later done to him.

Harry stopped in the middle of the corridor, just a few metres away from the gargoyle. He just stood and breathed for a moment. The churning in his stomach was only getting worse. He couldn't think of Ron without the disgusted look on the redhead's face as he kicked Harry, and yet thinking like that made Harry feel horrible. He just wanted to feel sad because his friend was dead, but he couldn't even do that right. He took a deep breath and walked up to the gargoyle. It hopped out of the way without a password and Harry ascended to the office.

…

"This is insane," Harry pronounced. After hearing the explanation about the veil, or as explained as things could get, and then being told about a certain prophecy, Harry felt slightly catatonic for a moment. The moment, however, was gone in a flash, and Harry jumped to his feet, glaring at Dumbledore, feeling ready to scream or explode.

"You see now why I had to make sure you returned to your relatives every year, Harry," Dumbledore said calmly. "I am sorry they didn't treat you right, and I am very sorry for your loss." Something inside Harry seemed to snap at that. Sorry for his loss? He couldn't help it, he laughed. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows in mild shock.

"You like to know everything, don't you?" Harry asked sarcastically. "But you didn't know that. Ron was the reason I was expelled." Dumbledore now looked genuinely shocked, and Harry took grim satisfaction in it. "Ron, Seamus and Dean cooked up the allegations after beating me to a pulp. If it wasn't for Snape-" Harry cut himself off. He didn't want to talk about that. Dumbledore was looking sad again, as if he really cared! Harry didn't know who he should be more disgusted over, Dumbledore or himself. He didn't want to think of Ron as a bad person, and yet he couldn't stop! Now this insane prophecy was fucking up his brain even more. He turned and stormed out of the office.

Severus watched Harry shout at the Headmaster and was secretly impressed, but he also felt very bad for Harry. He decided to help the boy out a little. Actually, there was no doubt in Severus' mind that he would do everything he could to help Harry, even indirectly. He knew that Harry had almost been sorted into Slytherin, and now was the time to wake the sleeping serpent.

"Potter," he said softly as he stepped out of the shadows. Harry stopped short in the middle of the hallway, gazing at Severus with mixed emotions.

"Professor Snape," he greeted with a slight nod. "I suppose I should apologize," he began, ducking his head and staring at the floor. Severus stepped closer.

"Whatever for?" Severus asked mildly. Harry glanced up through his fringe.

"For the whole bloody Gryffindor adventure I got you involved in… Dumbledore said you can't be a spy any longer. I'm-… I'm really sorry." Harry was staring at his feet and for a moment Severus wanted to berate the boy for his stupidity, but he couldn't, because he knew. He knew Harry and he knew every reason why Harry had needed to run off and be the hero. He knew every guilt trip Harry had been through since and he knew how long Harry would blame himself for Weasley's death; just as long as he would blame himself for Diggory's… forever.

"It wasn't your fault," Severus heard himself say. Harry's head snapped up and he gazed confusedly at Severus, who sighed. Harry wasn't going to be convinced by _him_ of all people. Best get to work. "I understand Albus informed you of the prophecy. You heard it in its entirety?" Harry nodded and looked away again. Severus fancied he knew just how fast Harry's heart was beating just by thinking about it. Severus was a bit unsure how to proceed. Harry was after all a Gryffindor at heart, and subtlety would perhaps not work. "You realise you are the _only_ one who can defeat him?"

"Of course I know!" Harry spat, immediately glaring up at Severus. "Pretty hard to miss _that_ little bit of information. I'm not bloody stupid-"

"That's not what I meant," Severus interrupted smoothly before Harry could start to rant. "My point was simply that the wizarding world will owe you a debt of gratitude that can most likely never be repaid…" Severus' eyes pierced Harry's and he lowered his voice to a dark whisper. "You could easily get a few payments in advance." Before Harry could open his mouth to do more than gape Severus had swept past the boy and was gone through a secret passageway down to the dungeons. Hopefully Harry would actually take his advice this time.

Harry stared after the Potions Master, or rather gaped. The moment Harry had realised it was Snape lurking in the shadows he had relaxed and been relieved that the man was all right. But what had that been about? Again, Snape had been awfully… decent for a man who used to torture Harry with every word… in more ways that one, but now Snape seemed almost helpful. He had taken Harry to the Ministry, he had fought against the Death Eaters, and given up his position as spy. Snape was definitely different. Harry briefly considered going down to the dungeons and asking Snape about that salve he had never gotten to apply… but perhaps that wasn't the best thing to do at the moment. Harry turned around and went back to the office, carefully planning out how to use this 'debt' Snape was talking about to his advantage. He felt really… Slytherin, but all in all it wasn't a bad feeling, Harry concluded.

…

"Harry, be reasonable," Dumbledore tried again, but Harry cut him off.

"I need to be trained, Headmaster. To stay at Privet Drive is suicide at this point, and as long as the Governors don't reverse the expulsion I need somewhere to stay. Grimmauld Place is ideal." Harry's voice was firm, leaving no room for argument. He had already alluded to the fact he might stray into the muggle world on his own if he stayed with the Dursleys. Dumbledore looked exasperated, and Harry had to keep the smirk threatening to show itself under control. He could kiss Severus Snape! Well, he could do a lot more than kiss the man, but it would be a nice place to start…

"I understand your reluctance to return there, Harry, but it really is the safest place. I hadn't planned that you would be fighting Voldemort until you were much older. This is why I didn't want you to know of the prophecy. Your childhood-"

"With all due respect, _Sir,_ my childhood has been non-existent so far. I need to get an unregistered wand and live at Grimmauld Place were the Ministry won't be able to trace me. I need to train and I need to live somewhere where I have the _chance_ to be happy, just for a moment at least, before Voldemort catches me." Somewhere deep in the dungeons Severus Snape's heart clenched at the passionate speech. If Albus didn't say yes he would personally go up there and strangle the man!

"Very well," Dumbledore sighed. Two spirits lifted considerably. Harry smiled in relief. "Though I must give some thought to the wand issue. I'm not sure that is a good idea. If you'll excuse me I have a lot of things to put in order." Harry bit off his sharp reply at the sudden dismissal, and instead left without another word. Denying him a wand was just Dumbledore trying to make a point and keep up a semblance of control. Dumbledore was a good man, the only problem was that _he_ defined what good was, and if you weren't on his list you didn't have a right to question him.

At least he was going to live with Sirius. Harry wanted to find Hermione and talk to her, but he didn't feel like having her cry over Ron again. He needed to clear his head. He wished he had his notebook and pencil. Instead he decided to go for a nice long walk around the grounds. He probably wouldn't see Hogwarts again for a very long time.

xxx

Hermione sat in the library, her sanctuary. The one place she usually found peace, but not today. Not at all today. She felt utterly cried out.

"Granger," a voice invaded her thoughts. She looked up and saw Malfoy. He looked the same as always, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. It was all wrong, Hermione decided. She had never wished so badly before that she had stayed at Hogwarts and taken her OWLs instead. All the other students had gone home that morning, but she had stayed to make sure Harry woke up. Apparently Malfoy had too.

"Please leave me alone," she said quietly, looking away and focusing on one of her favourite books on the shelf to her left. She could easily pick it out among all the greying, nearly identical books.

"I will. I just wanted to say…" he trailed off until she looked back at him. "Sorry for your loss." He looked sincere, his eyes shining with a strange intensity. Hermione shook her head, sniffing once.

"We weren't even friends anymore," she said softly. "He-… he was behaving so horribly to Harry…"

"I know," Malfoy spoke up. "But you can still feel sad." Something in the statement made Hermione really look at the blond boy in front of her, and she smiled sadly.

"Thanks," she said. Malfoy nodded, and then left. The silence he left behind him was stifling, and suddenly Hermione didn't want to be alone at all. She got up and ran after him. She caught up with him down the corridor. "Malfoy, wait." He stopped and turned, his face neutral.

"Yes?"

"Why are you still here?" Hermione asked curiously. Malfoy raised a single eyebrow, the simple expression obviously an automatic reaction to stupid questions.

"Because I can't go home," he said simply. At Hermione's frown he elaborated. "My father may have fled during his duel with Severus, but we all know he was there. If I step outside Hogwarts I'm a dead man. He's not doing anything official, like getting the Governors to expel me, but that's only because he doesn't want anyone scrutinizing him at the moment. Dumbledore is letting me stay here for now. I may go to Order Headquarters later." Hermione was trying very hard not to gape.

"And he…" she trailed off. Malfoy's other brow rose.

"What?" he asked, a slight smirk quirking his lips. "Trust me? He's trusted me since that weekend I was gone. You remember, when you suspected I was off learning Death Eater secrets?" Hermione couldn't keep the blush from her cheeks. That was exactly what she had thought, but with Malfoy fighting against the Death Eaters at the Ministry there could hardly be anymore doubt about his allegiances.

"I'm sorry about-"

"Please," Malfoy cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Everybody thought I had left with my father. That was the point. The fact is I left and met up with Dumbledore. He gave me a very… potent truth serum and promised me that if I ever needed protecting he would provide it. In return I gave him everything I knew about Death Eater activities and names."

"Oh," Hermione said lamely, at a complete loss for words. Malfoy had done all that over a month ago? And she had suspected him for so long. "Sorry," she repeated. Malfoy shrugged, then looked pensive.

"Do you know where Potter is? I've been meaning to have a word with him."

"What about?" Hermione asked with a frown. She didn't really want to see Harry again. It would just be sad and awkward.

"I might have something he will find useful," Malfoy replied cryptically. He regarded her a moment and his eyes seemed to soften. "But that can wait if you'd rather… go for a walk?" He gestured out the window to the sunny grounds. For a moment Hermione tried to consider all the reasons why she shouldn't go for a walk with Draco Malfoy just because he was on their side. But then she told her brain to sod off for a change and decided she just wanted to walk and not think.

"Alright," she agreed, only to blush again when Malfoy extended his arm as a gentleman would to a lady. She had seen Pansy Parkinson being led around like that, along with other Slytherin girls and their dates. It was the only time she envied pureblood girls that they had such old-fashioned traditions because, truth be told, she was a romantic at heart. Malfoy raised an eyebrow expectantly and she blushed a deeper shade of red before entwining her arm around his. They set off at a leisurely pace and Hermione sighed. Malfoy started talking about the hazardous stairways Slytherins didn't have to deal with half as often as the other houses and Hermione felt the need to point out the long way to the library from the dungeons. Malfoy had to concede that point and soon they were talking about absolutely nothing, which Hermione was very grateful for.

-:-

Sorry if this chapter is short and without much substance. Next chapter holds some important information.

Just to make things absolutely clear: Ron died. Everybody else lived. Go Draco. Hogwart's own personal Mr. Darcy, the younger version.


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you all for the reviews. People seemed to like the last chapter, along with the Draco/Hermione going on. I've never written Draco/Hermione before, or any kind of het, and only read one fic where that was the main pairing. I'm glad I seemed to have gotten it right. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

-:-

Hermione looked across the lake and tried to focus on the present: on Malfoy's arm, on the bright summer sun and on the sound of birds singing. She couldn't think of Ron. It was too raw and confusing. She had never been in love with him, but knew he had probably had a crush on her at the very least. She even suspected that was the true reason Ron had gone with them that night: to protect her. It made her both sad and angry. A part of her wished she could know for sure, another part wished she could live in hope that Ron had gone for Harry's sake. Perhaps it was best that she would never know, one way or the other.

"Are you alright?" Malfoy asked softly. "The heat's not getting to you?" Hermione almost laughed at the gentleman-like manner. How could someone so courteous act like a complete git for so many years? What had changed to make Malfoy use his pureblood manners on her? She looked over at him and saw his expression, purely polite concern. It scared her that she still wasn't sure if he was being sincere. For all she knew this was just as mush a mask as the sneering Slytherin member of the Inquisitorial Squad.

"I'm fine," she answered him. "Just… confused," she admitted. A small smile, or perhaps more likely a smirk, graced Malfoy's lips. He glanced at her sideways.

"That must be a surreal experience for you," he remarked casually, lightly teasing. Surreal, yes, that a comment like that would have been hurtful had it been said in the old drawling voice, accompanied by the spat out _Granger_ or _Mudblood_ at the end, but now it was simply nice and even a little sweet. Malfoy was right, of course, and his comment only made Hermione more confused. She disentangled herself from his arm and stood facing him. She searched his face but found nothing, only the blankness of a mask. It infuriated her suddenly.

"What are you playing at Malfoy?" A roll of the eyes, a deliberate shrug and a raised eyebrow: All delivered with utmost precision.

"Back to that again, are we Granger?" Malfoy asked. She could tell he was trying to keep his temper. She just wasn't sure why. "I thought I made it clear, on several occasions, that I'm on your side."

"I'm not talking about the war," Hermione cut in. "I'm talking about _this_." She gestured between them. Another raised eyebrow and Hermione hastened to elaborate before she blushed again. "You being nice to me, walking with me, asking me if I'm _alright?_" She had expected, perhaps hoped, that he would give himself away by showing a nervous tick, or look away, or anything, but he didn't. He just stared right back at her.

"I am simply trying to be decent towards you during a difficult time," he answered levelly. The reply seemed rehearsed to Hermione.

"But you don't have to, just because we're on the same side, and why would you bother? I'm still a muggle-born and just because you don't want to kill for Voldemort doesn't mean you suddenly believe in all our values-"

"You don't know what I believe in," Malfoy cut in harshly, finally showing his Malfoy glare again. It didn't make Hermione feel the least bit better. Perhaps confusion and a nice Malfoy would have been preferred after all.

"Then tell me," she challenged, glaring right back. It looked like he was about to sneer, but then it seemed as if he changed his mind. He shrugged, his expression casual again.

"I'm a Slytherin. I believe in that which is most beneficial to me. If I'm on the side of Light I must adapt to that. Morals and values are not objective and universal things. If The Dark Lord wins his beliefs are right, if we win we define the values of our society. So, right now I believe in what you believe in."

"Bullshit!" was Hermione's immediate reply. Malfoy looked genuinely taken aback by her sudden foul mouth. She glared hard at him, wanting desperately to see beneath the mask, but he would not let her penetrate. "Something changed. Something made you switch sides, and it wasn't because you suddenly figured Voldemort would lose." He flinched at the name, but that was expected. When he composed himself he stared at her, not glaring, but not quite neutral either.

"What makes you think I switched sides?" The comment made no sense to Hermione for a moment. When she opened her mouth to question him further, they were rather rudely interrupted.

"Hermione!" Harry's voice rang out. She spun around and saw him walking fast towards them. "What are you doing out here with him?" he asked as he got nearer.

"Ah, Potter, just the man I wanted to see," Malfoy suddenly spoke up, stepping around Hermione before she got a chance to explain anything. Harry looked bewildered by Malfoy's matter-of-fact tone and lack of sneer or smirk.

"Malfoy, what-"

"I have something that might be of interest to you," Malfoy continued over Harry. "I heard you had woken up today. I assume you've heard that the Governors have no intention of reinstating you?" Harry tensed and his eyes narrowed, searching for the insult.

"Yes," he ground out when Malfoy seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"Then you'll be needing… this." He reached into his robe and pulled out a 13-inch-long wand. Hermione gasped, recognising it as the unregistered wand he had used on Umbridge. Harry just stared at it, frowning deeply. Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Take it, Potter. The Ministry won't know a thing."

"It's an illegal wand?"

"Yes, now will you take it already?" Malfoy asked exasperated.

"Why would you give it to me?"

"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" Malfoy exclaimed. He glared at Harry, and then at Hermione for good measure. "What is it with you Gryffindors? Can't you just take what people are willing to give and stop questioning things? You need a wand, Potter, I have one. Why is that a bad thing? And _you_," he rounded on Hermione. "I take you for a bloody _stroll_ around the lake and all you do is question my motives when I have been nothing but nice to you since I officially sided with Dumbledore, in private at least. Can't you turn your brain off for _two_ _seconds?_ No? Well, I've had it!" He threw the wand at Harry's feet and stormed off, leaving a very upset Hermione and a baffled Harry.

"What's his problem? Does he expect us to trust him explicitly the second he switches sides?" Harry asked incredulously. Hermione bit her bottom lip.

"But he's been on our side for ages and I think he's really been trying. He kept telling me he would be there when the fighting started, ever since your expulsion…" Hermione sighed. "Oh, dear. I feel so horrible."

"Why?" Harry asked. "It's just Malfoy." He bent and picked up the wand. "This really unregistered?" Hermione nodded. "Brilliant... I guess I feel a little bad too now." They both looked up towards the castle where Malfoy's shadow just passed through the doors. They stood in silence for a long moment, neither looking at the other.

"Hermione?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Yes?" she prompted, but didn't look at him.

"Did-… Did Ron tell you why he insisted on coming?" They finally looked at each other and Hermione felt tears rise in her eyes.

"I have a theory," she said, then the tears came and Harry embraced her.

xxx

Severus tried not to huff loudly as he entered Grimmauld Place. It was not one of his favourite places, to say the least. The place was even worse with the Order members milling about, gathering for the first meeting after Dumbledore's return as Headmaster, and the Ministry's official declaration that Voldemort was indeed back. Severus took in his surroundings with practiced ease, making note of the general atmosphere, who looked nervous, who looked off in any way, and of course; Harry.

It was three weeks since the death of the childhood friend. Severus knew Harry hadn't exactly had a childhood, but still he couldn't help but divide the boy's life up in two halves. Since Weasley's death and the knowledge of the prophecy Harry had changed. Not much, no, that was impossible because Harry's character was so firmly established even at such a young age, but he had gained a new focus. He trained with Black, having obtained a wand from Malfoy of all people, and re-read the fifth year books, even potions, much to Severus' surprise. He wanted to warn the pair now living at Grimmauld Place that they not try any potions on their own, but of course he couldn't, since he wasn't supposed to know anything about Harry's current occupations.

There was a new sense of purpose about Harry, but much of the old uncertainty and worthlessness remained. He constantly feared that Black would discover his drawings and 'chuck him out'. He kept trying to do the dishes by hand and then stammer and apologised when Black told him not to. He brooded a lot about Weasley's death, and dreaded the coming meeting with the Weasley parents, whom he had not seen yet since the boy's death. He had not attended the funeral for security reasons, but secretly he had not wished to go. He felt he shouldn't, because his thoughts were 'tainted' with the images of the beating and insults. Severus wanted to remove all the uncertainties and try and build Harry's sense of worth, but he couldn't, for obvious reasons. So he watched, just in case something happened. He would be there, like last time.

The Order members descended to the kitchen. Harry came down the stairs to the hallway. He had been standing at the top, noting who had arrived, but Severus knew, without glancing behind him, why Harry came down at that moment. He slinked into the shadows of the stairway down to the basement and kitchen. Black was there beside the newly arrived Weasleys. Only the mother and father. Black had not been at the funeral either and now gave his condolences. They thanked him and hugged him. Harry looked like he was teetering on the brink of a great chasm. He stepped forward. Molly immediately hugged him tightly.

"Oh, Harry," she half-sobbed.

"Mrs. Weasley," Harry choked. "I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry I couldn't be at the funeral," he managed. She pulled away and locked tear-filled eyes onto him.

"Ron gave his life trying to help you," she told him sternly through her tears. "He wouldn't want you risking it by leaving Headquarters." Harry could only nod numbly. Severus needed no Scios Totalus to know what was going through that mind. He continued down the stairs, having seen enough. He would have stepped in if the Weasleys had so much as looked at Harry wrong.

The room was tense as Dumbledore's eyes travelled round the group. Many were looking at Harry with suspicion and deep frowns. The boy was seated to the Headmaster's right, Severus on the other side.

"Voldemort may have been relatively quiet since his return, but that does not mean he is sitting still."

Severus only half-listened as Dumbledore described what Voldemort _could_ be planning. Some of it had been reported by himself before the Incident. Other things were speculation, though when it came to Dumbledore it was probably correct. They went on to discuss how to treat the Ministry now that they had changed their stance. He perked up when Dumbledore began listing new assignments, even though he knew he wouldn't be getting anything. The members were dismissed as they were given orders, and Severus immediately knew Dumbledore had something important to say. He was leaving his very own 'Inner Circle' for last. Lupin, Black, Moody, the Weasleys and Severus remained: 'the old crowd', along with Harry, who had not said a word and whose presence had not been explained. Severus suspected he had used a certain 'debt' to get to sit in on the meeting. He was feeling proud all of a sudden.

"Now…" Dumbledore paused and glanced at Severus. "Severus, do you remember a long time ago when Voldemort sent you on a mission to Eastern Europe to locate a legendary artefact known as the Scios Totalus?" Severus' gut lurched. It was pure skill that kept him from betraying any emotion. He fought with himself to not glance above Harry's head, where the invisible ball still hovered. He nodded tightly.

"At the time I believed Voldemort wanted it simply because of its power." Dumbledore briefly explained its rumoured functions and Severus bit the inside of his cheek to keep from adding his own comments. "Recently, however, I have come to believe that Voldemort is still searching for the Scios Totalus, and that, in turn, has led me to believe he wanted it not for himself, but to keep anyone else from having it." There was another pause as the information sunk in. Severus' mind was reeling with the knowledge. The answer was obvious, at least to him: The Dark Lord had many secrets, and he was paranoid enough to make sure a legend couldn't destroy them.

"I need you to know this in case you interrogate any Death Eaters and the name Scios Totalus is uncovered. Information is scarce on the legend, at least here in Britain. Severus was unsuccessful in finding it, so hopefully it cannot be found. I will continue in my search, and you must keep your eyes and ears open, but don't tell the rest of the Order. Voldemort mustn't know we are looking as well. We also have other priorities. Firstly, another possible spy." Severus' eyes snapped to Dumbledore. Everybody stared, even Harry. "I believe Lucius Malfoy could be of some use."

"Malfoy?" Black predictably exclaimed. "You can't be serious?"

"As of this moment Mr. Malfoy is, I believe, still in Voldemort's camp, but his reaction to young Mr. Malfoy's defection could mean something. Family is everything to the man."

"But we can still hex the man good if we meet him on the battlefield?" Black needed clarification. Dumbledore looked at the man over his half-moon spectacles, his eyes stern.

"I'm not saying he is on our side, just that it could become a possibility in the future."

"Not bloody likely," Black muttered. Dumbledore ignored him. He adjourned the meeting.

Severus' palms were sweating. It was a sure sign of nervousness, the only one that ever betrayed him. He didn't let his discomfort show, however, and rose as swiftly as ever. Harry had left even quicker and Severus couldn't help but follow the boy up the stairs. Black and the others were still discussing something and hardly noticed. Harry reached the hallway and was about to make his way upstairs when Severus decided he needed to act now or he might not get another chance.

"Potter," he said and stepped up close to the boy. Harry turned at his name, his eyes went slightly wide when he realised how close Severus was.

"Yes, professor?" he asked, gazing up into his former professor's face. Severus held the green gaze and with his right hand he tried reached up to grab the Scios Totalus. Harry's breath hitched when the movement cause Severus to move even closer and Severus realised that being in the boy's personal space was a bad idea, especially since Harry obviously wasn't over his infatuation, or whatever it was.

"How did you get the Headmaster to let you in on the meeting?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and regarding the boy critically while still trying to get hold of the blasted device. It should have flown into his hand by now. He was concentrating so hard on it he almost didn't catch Harry's reply.

"I took your advice, actually."

"Really? Didn't know you had it in you," Severus managed to drawl. Why wouldn't the blasted thing move!?

"There's a lot you don't know about me," Harry whispered, his eyes suddenly darker, more intense. Severus stepped back abruptly, pursing his lips to keep from blurting out something along the lines of _'I highly doubt that'. _Harry seemed to take the expression as a reprimand because he blushed and looked down. Severus took the opportunity. He reached out quick as a snitch and tried to grab the artefact. For a fraction of a second he held the Scios Totalus in his hand and it became visible, but it wouldn't budge. He didn't dare hold on long, and Harry looked up at the moment Severus had retracted his arm.

"I need to go," he mumbled and the turned and ran up the stairs. Severus cursed under his breath and muttered the spell so he could hear Harry's thoughts.

_'Bloody buggering fuck! I can't believe I said something like that to Severus Snape! Forget him acting nice to me, after my performance he'll probably hate me more than ever. What the hell made me try and _flirt_ with Snape!? Oh, fuck!' _Severus could picture Harry easily without the spell, burying his face in his pillow and almost physically trying to kick himself. _'It's not fair! He's the one who stood so close. With that towering presence and that voice made me almost come in my fucking trousers.'_ Severus almost choked on his spit. He had been turning the device off every time Harry had any such thoughts, and he still couldn't quite believe Harry thought about him like that, let alone drew him and _wanked_ to him. It was just something Severus couldn't possible grasp. He wanted to reassure Harry that he didn't hate the boy for just having teenage hormones. It was ironic that Harry was the first teenager he didn't hate for that very reason. His hand had somehow ended up grasping the banister, as if he wanted to ascend the stairs, when a voice broke through Harry's continuing self-scolding.

"Severus?" Dumbledore was looking curious when Severus spun around. "Something wrong? You looked flushed."

"I'm fine. We should get back to Hogwarts," Severus replied briskly. Dumbledore agreed, not without the damned twinkle in his eyes, though Severus knew the old wizard couldn't possibly be guessing anywhere close to the truth. They left together, Severus listening to Harry's thoughts until the boy fell asleep.

-:-

I'm not sure I like this chapter at all. But it's needed. Next chapter time will be moving quicker and Sev goes on a little trip, and we hear more from Harry and how he's coping. I'm hoping I'll be able to get to Christmas at least in the next chapter, but I'm not sure.


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks for all the lovely reviews. I'm writing this chapter on the train, just so you can have an update during weekend!

-:-

Severus was uneasy. After returning to Hogwarts he had thought of nothing but the Scios Totalus, and why he had been unable to remove it. He admitted to himself that he had been less than thorough during his initial research. He had been sent off to Kiev in a rush and had failed to study its history, or legend rather. So now he searched, but there wasn't much to go on. Dumbledore and Voldemort no doubt held the most valuable information in their private collections. Severus wasn't about to go to either of them for help.

Finally after a week – though in reality he had only been searching for a few days because of his constant need for breaks to study something else, or rather someone – he found an age-old tome in the deepest corner of the Restricted Section. It held only a brief paragraph on the legend, as it primarily dealt with artefacts thought to actually exist.

_The legend of the Scios Totalus is an old one, presumably from somewhere in Eastern Europe. This device is said to give the wielder absolute knowledge of the target. A spy's dream come true in other words. Some stories tell of more than one device, and that the more one person holds, the more knowledge, and therefore the more power, he possesses. An interesting concept, but given that the one device is improbable such discussions are pointless in my view. _

_My main source is the book of ancient artefacts by Elphrick of Avalon, who, according to his own legend was a student of Merlin. There is, however, one other mention, closer to the source of the myth itself, which speaks of the terrible consequences of using it. Obsession about the target will apparently drive the wielder insane. This, however, seems to be impossible. If you know __everything__ about the target there is no more to know and therefore no reason to continue to use the Scios Totalus. Then again, considering the device itself is impossible, it makes little difference. _

Severus read the passage several times. He did not agree with the author on the last point. He could watch Harry for decades and he would not gain ultimate knowledge, for he would only ever see what Harry thought and did at the moment, and deep secrets could be kept easily hidden, especially considering Severus could nto watch every moment of the boy's life. It was this other source that Severus was curious about. According to the book it came from where the legend originated. That would be Kiev, possibly the library there. That presented a problem. Severus had tried to gain access to the library last time, but the government would hardly let him into the country, let alone into where they kept their own secrets. Mostly they wouldn't let anyone British in because of the war. Then again, Severus hadn't used all his methods of persuasion since he had been more focused on actually finding the artefact. Perhaps he should try again? He needed answers.

The rumour about obsession scared him, especially since he had been unable to remove the thing. Was he obsessed? The simple answer seemed to be: yes. But what to do about it? The temptation was too great. He doubted he could simply stop using it.

What about gradually reducing his 'hits'? A lumos went on inside his head: he would just use _one_ of the spells, either to hear or to see. It could perhaps be easier to reduce his sessions that way. Truthfully Severus had no idea if that would work, but he had to do something. The Scios Totalus had so gradually taken over his life he had barely noticed. It needed to come off. He didn't spare a thought to his decision to use only the hearing spell. He would from now on only hear Harry's thoughts and what people were saying. Under no circumstances would he watch as well. Perhaps he could beat this thing and then be able to remove it. In the mean time he would continue his search for answers. For all he knew there could be an entirely different reason for the device's reluctance to be removed.

xxx

Harry had at first been worried that his relationship with Hermione would suffer because of Ron's death, but in fact they seemed closer now than ever before. Hermione confessed she had never been in love with Ron, as Harry had once suspected, and that they shouldn't allow anything to break their friendship. She now wrote him regularly, and Harry grew suspicious of something else. Hermione kept asking if Malfoy had moved into Grimmauld Place. In fact the blond boy had done so just a few days ago. Harry and Sirius barely saw him except for meals. He didn't talk much and Harry didn't really know what to think. Malfoy had fought against the Death Eaters, and Dumbledore had assured him that Malfoy could not have cheated Snape's truth serum.

Harry worked mostly on his Defence Against the Dark Arts with Sirius. It felt like being in Dumbledore's Army again, only this time it was Sirius teaching and Harry soaking up anything the older wizard would provide. He had always learnt best by doing, though he still read other subjects, trying to catch up with his former classmates.

A small part of Harry had actually hoped Snape would come and teach him a few tricks, hopefully not potions, but the man had proved to be a brilliant dueller at the Ministry, even better than Sirius as far as Harry had seen, but the man never showed. Dumbledore said he was working on potions for the Order and had opted to stay at Hogwarts instead of Grimmauld Place for the summer. He would continue teaching when September came, even though he would be in a classroom filled with the children of those he had betrayed. It made Harry feel uneasy for some reason.

During his free time Harry talked and had fun with Sirius, sketched, sometimes even showing his work to Sirius, and wrote letters to Hermione. Of course he also did what every teenage boy did, and he had recently completed a new sketch that was perfect for that purpose. It portrayed Snape, who he sometimes referred to as his 'muse', looking just like he had when he had confronted Harry after the last Order meeting. His towering presence and obsidian eyes were exactly as that day. The only difference was that he was completely naked and surrounded by red drapes. The man wasn't even aroused in the drawing and yet '_he was sex_' as Harry often thought, and Harry wanted nothing more than to drop to his knees and _make_ the man hard.

Of course these were fantasies. In real life the man would not welcome something like that, and Harry couldn't really picture himself doing it. He had only kissed a girl, and knew he would probably ruin things completely if he tried to play out his dreams. Besides, it was _Snape_! The thought seemed… weird. It was only the man's body and intense gaze Harry drew. He could not fit what he knew of the man's personality over that.

Weeks turned into months and Sirius was, surprisingly, the one who decided that he had had enough silence from Malfoy. He invited the boy to join them during their training, and Malfoy agreed, also surprisingly. Harry suspected he was bored out of his mind. The Slytherin was a good dueller, as Harry had known already in second year, though this time he never conjured any snakes. After a few weeks they started duelling all three against each other. Only minor hexes and curses, but it was exhausting enough. It made the scene seem more like a real battle. By the end they were all panting and sitting on the floor of the converted storage room in the basement, even Malfoy, who looked more rumpled than Harry had ever seen him.

"Good work," Sirius said on an exhale. "Malfoy, you can still get your shield up faster after an offensive spell." Malfoy just nodded tiredly, looking down at the floor. "Harry, you're getting really good with that wand, but I think you should try for more variance in your spell-casting. Don't limit yourself to a set of spells or you'll become predictable." Harry nodded; it was something he knew he needed work on. Sirius shook his head as if he was in dog-form and then clapped his hands together, grinning. "Well, I claim the shower first." And with that he had morphed into Padfoot and was trotting out of the room, leaving to sour-looking sweaty boys.

"That was unfair," Malfoy remarked, glancing at the door. He looked at Harry oddly. "I thought Gryffindors were all about fairness." Harry shrugged, too tired to roll his eyes. They had yet to argue or fight since Malfoy had come to Grimmauld Place, but Harry didn't want to take his chances, so he limited his speech as much as Malfoy did, though not, it seemed, at the moment. "You're good with that wand, Potter," he continued. "Not many wizards would get as good as that so quickly with an unfamiliar wand." Harry frowned in confusion.

"Did you just compliment me, Malfoy?"

"At least the fact about Gryffindor stupidity isn't false," Malfoy drawled. "Yes, if you need it spelled out. I did. What are you going to do about it?" Harry eyed the other boy for a moment, then his lip quirked.

"I should compliment you in return. It's only fair." Malfoy smirked at Harry's reply, then raised both his eyebrows and gazed at Harry expectantly.

"Well? Oh, righteous Gryffindor, what have you to say?" Harry chuckled, actually feeling strangely at ease with the banter.

"Hmmm," Harry mused pensively, slanting a sly glance at Malfoy. "Your hair stays remarkably in place even after a duel," he deadpanned. Malfoy looked surprised for a split-second, then he actually pouted, something Harry had never seen the boy do.

"You're horrible at compliments, Potter. My hair is always perfect. Everybody knows that." Harry snorted and rolled his eyes. For a moment he thought the whole conversation should feel more odd than it did. Malfoy was still behaving like Malfoy, but yet… not. Harry quickly forgot such thought when he thought of something else to say.

"Fine, you've got really good complexion. How's that?"

"I'd say you've got a crush on me, Potter, you seem far to obsessed with my appearance," Malfoy drawled, his lips quirking with a slight smirk. Harry's heart gave a jolt. The truth was, he _did_ think Malfoy was good-looking. What self-respecting gay man, or straight man for that matter, couldn't see something so obvious? He had drawn the hair and pale skin numerous times, though he didn't feel attracted like he did to Snape's body. He preferred older men in his fantasies. Malfoy was just wonderful to draw from an artistic point-of-view.

"I-.. I didn't mean it like that," Harry stuttered, unable to meet Malfoy's eyes. He sprang to his feet so he could leave. He did _not_ want Malfoy to start suspecting. If Ron had been bad when he found out, how would Malfoy react?

"Relax, Potter," Malfoy said, getting to his feet as well. "It's ok. I know I'm gorgeous." He said it so calmly and matter-of-factly that Harry blinked and looked confusedly at the blond.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Malfoy said slowly as if explaining something to a child. "That it's ok to find other men beautiful… it's ok to find them a lot more than that, actually." Harry could only stare at the Slytherin, unable to read between the lines. What was Malfoy hinting at? He couldn't mean- No, that was insane. Malfoy seemed to realise Harry's problem. "Gryffindors," he muttered. He met Harry's stare with his own, rather intense one. "I know that Weasley found out you were gay and I just wanted you to know I don't care. Of course, you being a Gryffindor, you actually needed me to say it out loud!" Malfoy was glaring in exasperation now.

"What?" Harry croaked, his eyes wide as saucers. "I'm not- I mean I don't know what you're talking about!"

"For Merlin's sake, Potter," Malfoy cried. He glanced around the room as if searching for answers, then glared at Harry again. "It's not such a hard concept to grasp. In my own, perfect Slytherin way, I was trying to 'bury the hatchet' by reaching out to you. But you ruined it!" Harry could only gape as Malfoy folded his arms across his chest, the action making him seem younger. Out of all the words Malfoy had said, only three had really caught Harry's attention, which was odd because they were rather unimportant, considering what Malfoy was really saying.

"'Bury the hatchet'? Isn't that a muggle expression?" Malfoy blinked and then it was as if the roles had been reversed. The blond blushed and looked away, a strained expression on his face. For once Harry wasn't slow on the uptake, mainly because there was only one way Malfoy could have found out. "Hermione told you!" Harry shouted. "I can't bloody believe her!" He clenched his fists and glared at Malfoy. "She told you just so you could have something to… _bond_ or something with me? Because she thinks everyone has to get along just because we're on the same bloody side?! Well, fuck off, Malfoy! I don't give a damn what the hell you think of me!" Harry spun around and headed for the door. Malfoy intercepted him and blocked his way. Harry's wand was up so fast all Malfoy could do was blink as he looked down at the wand now pointed at his chest.

"Merlin's balls, Potter! Control yourself!" He glared at Harry, but made no attempt to draw his own wand. "Hermione did tell me, because I told her I already suspected. I later asked her if it would help you if you knew that not everybody gives a damn what you get up to in the bedroom! She's the one that used the expression, but it's all the same to me whether we hate each other. I just wanted to say my part and that's that." Malfoy's speech belied his earlier statements, and Harry knew it. The Slytherin was just covering up, trying to get Harry to believe he didn't care one way or the other now that Harry had rejected him… again… Somehow Harry's anger vanished. Malfoy was still glaring, his face flushed with anger and resentment. Harry lowered his wand and tucked it away.

"That was a really horrible way of getting us to make up after five years of mutual hatred," Harry commented calmly. Malfoy shrugged, his glare losing its fire somewhat. "You're really awful at the whole making friends thing, aren't you? First insulting Ron and now telling me it's okay to be gay?" Despite everything Malfoy snorted.

"This time it wasn't my fault. Hermione suggested it." A tense silence followed, both now acknowledging that this was in fact a replay of the scene on the train in first year. Harry couldn't find it in himself to repeat the ending. If Malfoy was trying, in his own misguided way, shouldn't Harry do the same? And besides… Ron wasn't around anymore to be insulted.

"Thanks," Harry said. Their eyes met, both grey and green wary, but more open than ever before.

"Not a problem," Malfoy replied in the same level tone. Harry's brow furrowed in thought, another thing occurring to him.

"When exactly did _Hermione_ suggest you use this information to 'bury the hatchet'?" Malfoy's cheeks pinked almost imperceptibly, but Harry noted it with mixed emotions.

"I wrote her," was the tight reply. It looked like Malfoy was expecting another temper tantrum. Harry, however, was _not_ going to judge Malfoy's sudden interest in a _Mudblood_ if Malfoy was actually being honest about the gay thing. The very idea of being that hypocritical was absurd.

"Oh… we should ask if she can come here soon. I miss her," Harry remarked. Malfoy still looked wary, but the tenseness in his shoulders was gradually leaving him.

"Yes… she is the only Gryffindor who can hold an intelligent conversation. I am feeling rather dumb as the days go by. You two must be contagious." Harry chuckled again at the teasing tone, not at all that different from the sneering one of years past, but Malfoy's eyes were glittering and not cold.

"I'll just be glad she has someone to listen to her when she goes into lecture-mode," Harry said, effectively giving his blessing. "Though I'll always lend an ear if she needs it." Their eyes met briefly, and Malfoy, being a Slytherin, needed no spelling out to see what Harry meant; that the Gryffindor would jump in to protect Hermione as easily as he had when he thought Sirius captured. Malfoy nodded in agreement. A silence settled again, still awkward, but not as tense.

"Shower's free!" a voice called from upstairs. Harry and Malfoy stood completely still for a moment and then both bolted for the door. Harry managed to get through it first, but Malfoy got hold of his jumper and pulled him back. Harry laughed as he ran after the blond. They took the stairs two at the time, Sirius standing bemused at the top. Malfoy was also laughing as they sprinted down the corridor. They reached the bathroom door at exactly the same moment. Neither managed to make it inside as they pushed each other, effectively getting stuck.

"Potter! My hair needs more care than yours!" Malfoy shouted, shoving hard. Malfoy still had a slight advantage in strength, though Harry's month of training had done wonders, not to mention full meals.

"You'll use up all the hot water!" Harry protested.

"It's magic, you dunder-head. There's always hot water!" Harry had a sudden thought and swiftly stepped back, out of the doorway. Malfoy, having been just about to push Harry again, fell forward on his face into the tiled room. Harry had never seen the boy sprawled out like that on the floor. Both Harry and Sirius burst out laughing.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny," Malfoy huffed as he got up, brushing non-existent dust from his clothes. He smirked at Harry – and then slammed the door in his face. Harry stopped laughing, but his smile didn't fade. It had been _so_ worth it. He was definitely going to have to draw that.

"That was different," Sirius mused aloud. Harry looked at him, grinning.

"Yeah, it was… and yet it wasn't." Sirius looked even more bemused at that, but he tilted his head in acknowledgement. Harry's relationship with Malfoy would probably never really be understood by either of them.

-:-

I loved writing that ending. Hope you enjoyed reading it!

Severus' reasoning for only using the hearing spell is perhaps flawed, since he has no idea what exactly is wrong and if it will work. But he doesn't want to just sit around and do nothing. This way it feels like he is accomplishing something, that he is trying to beat the obsession, rather than just researching.


	15. Chapter 15

Sorry, I had trouble uploading this, but now it's up. You may have gotten two alerts.

WOW! Over 200 reviews. This fic is one review away from being the fic with most reviews in my collection. I never imagined this would be so well received. Thanks so much!

I'm also trying to get the Snape-Harry interaction that you all seem to crave. It is coming! Hopefully in chapter 16, but Snape just needs to go on a little trip and find some stuff out. Harry also needs to realise that not everybody is like Ron was.

Hope you still enjoy this chapter!

**Note**: I have not been to Kiev! I don't know much about it so my apologies if I am horribly wrong about some facts.

-:-

Severus continued his search in the Restricted Section, but he quickly came to the conclusion that there wasn't anything else to find there. Apart from the libraries of Dumbledore and Voldemort there was only one other place he could think of that had the answers he was looking for: Kiev.

He had kept his promise, something he was perhaps a bit too proud of for comfort, considering what a small achievement it actually was. He had only listened to Harry's thoughts and conversations. He was astonished at the way Harry and Malfoy seemed to be getting along… in a strange way that even they didn't seem to really understand, but they had yet to get in a real fight, so nobody complained. Harry still worried over Sirius finding out about his orientation, absolutely positive now that is was because of Draco's Slytherin nature that he didn't object to Harry's homosexuality. Severus wanted to confront Black and threaten things far worse than Azkaban if the man didn't give Harry the support he needed.

Severus hadn't really noticed if he actually listened less than before when he used to watch as well, but now that he would be travelling far away he was unsure if the Scios Totalus would work over such a long distance, and the thought frightened him probably more than was healthy. But he needed to understand the situation fully.

Unfortunately classes started up again. Draco returned to Hogwarts, leaving Harry and Black alone at Grimmauld Place. Luckily they could continue to send letters (Dumbledore had lifted that particular ward right after the Incident). Severus played the role of the cruel Slytherin professor and no one, not even the children of Death Eaters, dared mess with him. They still sent him the odd hateful glance, so full of betrayal the students themselves didn't truly understand Severus almost laughed. What did they know of his betrayal? He couldn't help feel sorry for all those students who were going to get the shock of their lives when they realised what the Dark Lord was really about; death and destruction.

So he continued to teach, listening to Harry during the evenings while he contented himself with watching the fire in his rooms. He could easy imagine Harry now so perhaps it wasn't really helping his obsession at all. He listened as Harry caught up and passed by most of the other sixth years. The boy had a good mind, and with Sirius taking a more hands-on approach than the teachers at Hogwarts had time to, Harry learned faster and better than ever before. His duelling skills improved and he seemed to Severus to be content even being away from his friend. Lupin stopped by often and Molly Weasley would send over huge meals for them to share. Severus found jealousy in his heart as he listened to their happy conversations in the kitchen. But he pushed such feelings away and told himself that the only thing that mattered was that Harry got the care he should have gotten a long time ago.

As Christmas neared Severus started planning his trip. The Dark Lord was acting almost erratic in his attacks. It seemed he didn't know where to focus his destruction now that Harry was so completely out of his reach. At Hogwarts he had at least been visible, a flame the Dark Lord honed in on and worked to stamp out. Severus had no doubt, however, that the Dark Lord would soon find his focus again, this time on the Ministry, for he would not go after Dumbledore, the Headmaster being the one wizard Riddle would always fear. Or perhaps Severus would be next on the list?

It was probably foolish of him to go, more dangerous even than following Harry into the Ministry, but he would not be deterred. He needed the Scios off Harry, and for that he needed answers. When Christmas came he listened one last time to Harry eating dinner with all his friends, and then left.

xxx

Harry could not remember a time when he felt more content. Moments of happiness were not foreign to him, but the feeling of continuous contentment was had been less prominent in his life. Living at Grimmauld Place was everything he could have hoped for. Sirius was a blast, though they both had their off days. They both had nights filled with horrors, and they both had days when they could think of nothing but passed mistakes. They scared many understanding silences, but didn't speak much about it.

Now Christmas was upon them and a lot of people had come to Grimmauld Place. Harry had felt a stab of disappointment when Snape had failed to show up, but why was that a surprise? Harry couldn't shake the feeling off, though, as he had not seen the man since the summer. All he had were his drawings. Perhaps that was what he longed for? Another 'fix' for his muse? Another moment to gaze up into the black depths so he could capture them better on parchment. He shrugged the thought off and decided he needed to make an effort to draw more of other things.

The Weasleys: Molly, Arthur and Ginny tried not to let their loss dampen the holidays too much, but Harry could see it was hard for them to celebrate their first Christmas without Ron. Molly had knitted the standard maroon sweater with a large 'R' on it, and given it to Harry. He could only smile and tell her it meant a lot to him.

Hermione and Remus came too of course, and Malfoy, who seemed to have gotten into a mood since last time Harry had seen him. He hardly said anything during their first meal. He didn't even look at Harry as they got ready for bed, ironically sharing the same room Harry and Ron had shared long ago. Harry's presence in the room was more felt now, though. His things and books were strewn about the place, thrown there by Sirius who had insisted that being as tidy as Harry was wasn't healthy for a kid his age.

"You ok, Malfoy?" Harry finally spoke up as the other boy flopped onto the newly transfigured bed Malfoy was using, already in green silk pyjamas. Harry sat down on his own bed and simply watched. Malfoy was pursing his lips hard, as if trying to stop himself from speaking. There was a distinct blush to his cheeks.

"I don't know what to do," he suddenly blurted. Harry's eyebrows rose. It wasn't often, if ever, that Malfoy admitted to not knowing something. In that he was like Hermione.

"About what?" Harry asked. Malfoy sent him a glare and huffed, turning his head to the wall.

"About Hermione," he mumbled. Harry could almost hear the pout from Malfoy at being forced to say it out loud. He didn't laugh, though; he was at a complete loss himself. He was hardly the person to go to for dating advice.

"Eh, what exactly is the problem? Is she ignoring you or openly shunning you?" Malfoy turned to send another glare.

"Neither," he answered tightly. "She," he sighed, turning on his side to face Harry. "This is… impossible for me, alright? She's-…"

"A muggleborn?" Harry supplied. Malfoy rolled his eyes.

"Yes, thank you," he grumbled. "There's that, which I'm not too thrilled about." Harry frowned. This was the first time they had actually discussed Malfoy's crush on Hermione in no uncertain terms. But that last statement made Harry pause.

"You like her but you can't stand the fact that she's a muggleborn?" Harry asked incredulously. Malfoy flushed immediately, and only when he opened his mouth to reply did Harry realise it was from anger.

"No, you dolt!" He sat up in bed, probably to better glare at Harry. "How fucked up would that be? Merlin's tits, Potter, you are so slow sometimes!"

"Alright already!" Harry shouted. "If you'd just talk straight for once then maybe I wouldn't get so confused! You said you weren't too thrilled about it!"

"Hush," Malfoy chided, glancing pointedly at the door, which they had not warded. Harry quickly cast a silencing charm. "I merely meant," Malfoy continued in a more calm tone. "That she's going to take a lot of heat when- if, we… whatever, the point is, _that_ isn't my main concern!"

"Then what is?" Harry asked in exasperation. He hardly noticed the surrealness of the situation; discussing Hermione with Malfoy of all people.

"What do you think? Weasley," Malfoy said. Harry frowned. Malfoy didn't wait for him to ask what he meant this time. "I don't know how to… ask her when she might need more time to… mourn." Malfoy looked very uncomfortable talking about Ron, which was hardly surprising.

"Hermione and Ron weren't together," Harry said. Malfoy shrugged.

"Yeah, I know, but they damned well could have been. If they hadn't been fighting over you when he died-"

"No," Harry interrupted. "I mean Hermione was never in love with Ron." A long silence followed. Malfoy seemed to be concentrating on blinking and breathing steadily. His mouth started working, trying to form words.

"You sure?" a slightly squeaky question came. Harry couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, she's mourning a friend, nothing more," he said. He wished they both could mourn Ron the way the other Weasleys mourned him: free of horrible memories, but that wasn't to be.

"Oh," came the rather uncharacteristically lame reply. Malfoy looked even more lost now than before.

"So, you're going to… ask her?" Harry wasn't sure what Malfoy wanted to ask, since he had so little experience himself, but Malfoy looked so unsure that Harry had to question him.

"Uh, yeah…" the blond swallowed hard. His eyes glanced at Harry. "Can I see some of your drawings?" Harry startled at the abrupt change in topic, but blushed a second later when he realised what Malfoy was asking.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Please? I promise not to laugh." Harry wasn't sure if he should be thankful that Malfoy had said please and promised, or angry that Malfoy thought it necessary to promise not to laugh in the first place. He understood, however, that Malfoy needed a distraction. So Harry got up from his bed and went to his fairly new trunk Dumbledore had brought him a few months ago. Malfoy was at his side in an instant. Harry got out the notebook and they sat down beside each other on Harry's bed. He had only ever showed a few to Sirius, and one or two to Remus just last week, all of them rather… tame and unoriginal, but they had both had praised them to no end, saying Harry got his artistic genes from both James and Lily, and that combined it was breathtaking. Now, though, Harry couldn't help but wonder what Malfoy would say to the 'other' drawings.

He opened the notebook. On the first page was a drawing of Hogwarts. It still made his heart sting slightly, but he had come to terms with his expulsion. Malfoy didn't say anything so Harry turned the page: the lake, with a large arm from the squid rising up. Another one of Hogwarts, with Hagrid's hut in the foreground. Drawings of people came next: Hermione, Dumbledore and one of Malfoy. Luna Lovegood was a frequent subject; her style was a fun thing to draw. Another one of Malfoy, this time in full Quiddith gear, his broom in hand.

"Holy Merlin, Potter, you _can_ draw," Malfoy spoke up. Harry blushed; he never could help it when his work was complimented. "And I really like the subject in this one," Malfoy remarked casually. He gazed at Harry shrewdly. "You sure you don't have a crush on me?" Harry tensed almost imperceptibly, but rolled his eyes to appear unaffected. He wasn't sure if Malfoy bought it, but Harry had serious doubts about showing his more… detailed drawings.

Turning the page more slowly this time, so he could snap it shut if he recognised the dark edges that usually accompanied his 'private' drawings, he revealed one of Snape. It was one of him in Potions class, scowling fiercely into a cauldron, his wand hovering over it and his other hand gripping some sort of ingredient.

"You've captured him quite brilliantly," Malfoy concluded. Harry grinned. It wasn't one of his favourite pictures, but Remus had said the exact same thing. He turned the page, still grinning- and gasp, hurriedly trying to snap the book shut. Malfoy was on him in an instant, yanking the book out of Harry's hands and jumping to his feet, walking several steps away from the bed. Harry closed his eyes and waited for the explosion.

"Bloody hell," a whisper said. Harry cringed, opening his eyes to look. Malfoy was standing, holding the notebook open and gaping. He turned the page and his mouth grew bigger. Another page, and another… and another. He stopped to gape at some for longs moments. He swore several times under his breath. Harry was as if glued to his bed, unable to move, and watched as Malfoy saw his secrets in plain view. There were several, Harry knew, of him being fucked by Snape. And of him giving oral pleasure to both Snape and Malfoy. Others were simply Snape naked or pleasuring himself. One showed Snape and Malfoy kissing, though it had not been completed.

"You kinky little bastard," Malfoy declared after he had paged through the whole thing. His tone was off, though. It sounded almost teasing, and he was smirking. Harry eyed him warily, waiting for the explosion. "You're using your talent to produce your own porn magazine. How positively Slytherin! Oh, if only the world knew! Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived To Draw Smut!" Harry jumped to his feet, his heart hammering in his chest.

"You can't tell a soul-" he began, but the Slytherin waved him silent.

"Oh, relax, will you? This is too brilliant for the masses to understand. I am a little relieved you don't have a crush on me… though some of these of Severus are a little disturbing." He went back to the notebook while Harry frowned.

"What?" he asked when all Malfoy did was smirk and chuckle as he studied the drawings again.

"If you did have a crush of me you would have drawn me differently. Most of these aren't of my whole body even, just my hand or throat or something. Clearly you appreciate my beauty, but who doesn't, right? Anyway, these of Severus, however…" Malfoy's speech trailed off. He glanced at Harry, but didn't say anything, making the Gryffindor irritable.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Malfoy murmured. He held out the now closed notebook. "Draw me," he said. Harry blinked.

"Huh?"

"Anyway you want," Malfoy continued. "I'll even get naked if you want, though you must promise not to touch," there was a faint smirk, but otherwise he was quite serious. Harry swallowed nervously. He didn't fancy Malfoy in an emotional way, but perhaps a nude one in his bedroom wasn't a good idea?

"Okay," he heard himself say, taking the notebook. Malfoy cast a few extra wards on the door.

"Don't tell _anyone_, or I'll kill you," Malfoy warned as Harry sat rather heavily on his bed. Malfoy started stripping. When he was fully unclothed he looked completely unabashed and cocked an eyebrow at Harry. "How do you want me?"

xxx

Severus left a note in his chambers, the same kind of message he had used when Harry and he had gone to the Ministry. Only Dumbledore would be able to read it this time. He left during the night, but couldn't help but suspect Dumbledore knew he was leaving and would not be deterred. He just hoped Dumbledore didn't know why.

He would be apparating by jumps, the safest and least detectable way to travel outside Ministry control. The Ukrainian Ministry, with headquarters in Kiev, would no doubt register his arrival, but they wouldn't be able to know who he was, nor find him without actively searching for him. Considering how many people were fleeing from Britain to other European countries they hardly had time to search for one lone wizard.

It took all night to travel down to London, over the Channel to France and then making his way eastward. He took careful stops and a fair few detours just in case. He was by nature and condition a very paranoid man. By the time he popped into existence in the Podil district the sun was just casting its first rays over the city. Severus made his way towards his destination with a spy's recollection. He kept his eyes and ears open for the smallest sign that he was being followed. This was the one of the oldest parts of Kiev, but the house he eventually reached wasn't historic or very old. It was, however, very rundown and reminded most British wizards of the Leaky Cauldron. It wasn't the entrance to the wizarding market, but the entrance to one of the oldest libraries on the continent.

He felt the ancient magic easily and knocked in the appropriate place. He stepped back quickly when the ground close to the wall opened up to reveal a set of stone stairs, very old, but preserved by magic so they looked newly cut. Severus descended into the darkness and the hole closed up behind him. For a moment there was total darkness and then torches flared to life along the stone walls, every four meters a concave in the wall housed a statue of some old famous witch or wizard, or vampire.

Severus made his way in the sparse lighting until the corridor opened up to a large hall. He noticed he had been going steadily downhill. There were seating arrangements clustered about, comfortable looking sofas and chairs. In front of him was a very long mahogany desk, behind which he saw the tall shelves going back into the distance. All about him wizards sat and chatted: students studying the ancient texts found here. A set of lifts to his right showed there was much more and also a quicker exit for those who were familiar with the place. Severus went directly to the long desk, so long it almost cut the room off from the shelves.

A witch sat behind the desk, her head down as he read a large scroll, written in Greek, Severus noted. She wore an old style of robes, black, but was about Severus' age. She had auburn hair tied back in a long thick braid. Severus had prepared himself for the moment, gathering his inner magic. He was hardly as strong as Harry when it came to pure magical strength, but he was much stronger than the average witch or wizard, something he took full advantage of at that moment. The witch looked up when Severus cleared his throat. He locked eyes with her and let his magic go.

"Can I help you?" she asked in the native language.

"I need an unlimited pass," Severus replied, his voice probably had a thick accent, but she didn't even blink. She didn't break eye contact as her hand fumbled around in a drawer. She drew out a large coin, about twice the size of a galleon, bronze, with the libraries motto and insignia on it. Severus took it and whispered a memory spell. The witch's eyes glazed over and Severus walked briskly around the long desk.

About one hour later he was ensconced in a smaller room two levels down. Half of the room was filled with tables for the individual student, but the rest held rows and rows of filing cabinets. On Severus' table were a dozen books stacked, along with twice as many scrolls of parchment. He worked steadily for the rest of the day, but could not find the mysterious source Elphrick had mentioned in his book.

He came back the next day, and the day after that, making sure to cast a notice-me-not charm on him so the witch at the desk would not notice him and wonder why he never asked for a pass. He kept this up for a week. Days passed without him noticing, he hardly ate except when he found he couldn't concentrate from lack of energy.

He had not simply picked a random book on legendary artefacts and started searching of course, but started with books from Elphrick's time and worked his way back. There was a _lot_ to go through: enormous tomes as well as small books and obscure pieces of parchment in languages Severus needed time to decipher. It was therefore a bit of a letdown when he found what he was looking for in a normal sized book, written in Latin. It wasn't in the best condition, the old preserving charm having been disturbed. Severus cast a new one before looking through it. It wasn't a book of legendary artefacts, or even magic in general, which was perhaps why Severus hadn't looked in it at first. It was actually a diary. Severus didn't bother translating the dates, but wrote down what he needed in English.

_The Scios Totalus is consuming me. It will not let me go, she will not let me go. I cannot remove it. I do not understand! The texts speak only of knowledge, not this obsession. It was supposed to come off once I knew her as well as I know myself. But it does not… _

About ten pages later:

_I have searched for the other Scios Totalus, but to no avail. I know now what was my mistake. The one is not enough. Only the pair will set me free. I have been told that together they are able to give ultimate knowledge, that they reveal even the deepest of secrets, but that is not my purpose. I will use them as they were meant to be used, but not if I can't find the other one. I only want my freedom… and my love. _

About twenty pages later, most of which was spent looking for the 'other' Scios Totalus the man mentioned:

_It is agony! I burn with shame and sorrow I knew not could exist in one man's soul. I have not found my freedom and so I told my love everything. This is the curse of the Scios Totalu. I know that now. I know it as well as I know my love, but she does not know me. She reared away from me as she would from a stranger. She was disgusted with my love for her, and I can't rightly blame her. I pleaded, but she would not listen. This is my curse, and I would warn those who attempt to gain knowledge of those they love. They will live their lives loving every piece of their love with all their heart, but never will it be returned. I do not exist except in the Scios. I am nothing… while she is everything. _

Severus closed the book, his heart pounding slowly, but somehow harder, more painful. Love? This man was obsessed with a woman who never returned his feelings. Surely that did not apply to him! He cared for Harry, true, but it was parental if it was anything! Severus decided it was time to go home. He gathered his things and left, knowing he needed to talk to Dumbledore about the possibility of finding the Scios Totalus after all… he would simply fail to mention that it wasn't the same one.

It was Christmas Day he realised when he began his apparating back home. He thought of Harry and felt an urge come over him, stronger than anything he had felt before. It had been far, far too long since he had last seen the boy. He wouldn't bother apparating up to Scottland. He would just stop in at Grimmauld Place instead… Dumbledore was probably there anyway. Yes.

-:-

The diary is vague on purpose. Remember this story is actually titled 'The Scios Totalus of legend' so it only stands to reason that it (or they?) still have a part to play.

Next chapter: Severus at Grimmauld Place and he gets to see Harry after months and months of training hard, eating well and generally feeling content… could be interesting ;-)


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you all for the reviews!**

**Beware the slashy-ish scenes ahead!**

**Note:** I'm trying to get in the festive mood to write this chapter, but it's rather hard, but that kind of fits with the story, because of Ron and all.

-:-

Severus apparated completely exhausted just inside the wards of Grimmauld Place. He had actually apparate up to Hogwarts first, however. He had needed something from his rooms. He had also not taken the floo, as he didn't want to arrive in the kitchen. He took a moment to compose himself, and to thank whatever deities affecting things that he had survived his trip. He had moved much quicker homeward, and it was only around eight o'clock in the evening on Christmas Day, ergo he was exhausted. He glanced around out of habit, but he was safe. He sighed and then decided to just go right in.

Inside the hall Severus couldn't help but sneer at the decorations. Even the curtain covering Mrs. Black had been decorated with garlands. Severus moved towards the stairs and heard the sound of many people talking, some laughing. He cringed back, his mind's eye picturing sickly sweet scenes of festive cheer between Gryffindors. It was too much for him, so he retired into the drawing room. He saw a small table in the corner, glasses and a carafe of amber liquid. He poured himself a drink, wondering if it was Lupin's or Blacks, probably the former. Black seemed like the firewhiskey type and this was brandy. Not what Severus would have preferred, but he gulped it down, needing it for some reason he couldn't quite identify. He poured another glass and settled down on the couch, the fireplace to his left.

He wasn't sure how long he waited, probably no more than forty minutes, when he heard footsteps on the stairs and voices getting louder.

"And then it just blew up!" Black laughed as he stepped into the drawing room. He stopped short when he noticed Severus, a frown abruptly marring his face. Severus rose gracefully from his seat just as several more people entered the room behind Black, but there was only one person Severus noticed.

He hadn't really prepared himself, he realised that now. Harry had come in right behind Black, his eyes dancing with mirth at his godfather's story, and had stolen Severus' breath away, among other things. Months of hard training, both of mind and body, and proper meals, many of them of Molly Weasley's making, had certainly made a difference. There was also no denying that Harry had grown. A lot of students always told each other how much they had changed over the holidays, Severus had heard them countless times over the years, but they changed much more during the long year. They just didn't notice because they saw each other every day.

Harry had grown, he was probably just a head or so below Severus now, and filled out. His face was more mature looking, better suited to his eyes, which were always filled with more knowledge than they should be. He was, in a word: beautiful. Stunning, exquisite, gorgeous and handsome were other words that popped into Severus' mind.

Only a second or so had passed as Severus took in the sight of the amazingly attractive boy in front of him. Harry's eyes shifted to him and Severus expected the joy in them to fade immediately, but they didn't. Harry's eyes lit up even more, and Severus heart almost stopped. Harry came forward, a smile curving the delicate-looking red lips. Harry would never be what one would call rugged; Severus knew that. Harry would retain his seeker's build. It didn't make him look younger than he was though, mainly because of the way he now carried himself, thanks to duelling no doubt.

"Professor Snape! I didn't know you were dropping by," Harry said as he came forward. Severus' face had remained completely blank, but now he let a small amount of warmth show in his eyes as he tilted his head in greeting.

"It wasn't a planned visit. I should have sent word-"

"Yeah, you should," Black cut him off. Harry sent a glare over his shoulder, warming Severus' heart almost as much as the boy's smile, since he was directed at the mutt. "What? Old Scrooge is gonna ruin Christmas," Black whined.

"Now, Sirius, don't be rude," Lupin chided as he placed a hand on his – what Severus guessed was his lover's – shoulder.

"You are more than welcome Severus," Molly said as she came forward. Before Severus knew it he was being hugged. His surprise must have shown, because Harry _smirked_ at him, making strange sensations flutter in Severus' stomach. Molly drew back. "Why didn't you come down and eat with us?" she nodded to the empty tumbler.

"I didn't want to intrude."

"To late," Black muttered. He received an elbow in the ribs. After Severus had greeted the others Molly insisted they all sit down while she went and got tea and cakes. Severus was forced to sit between Arthur and Lupin while Harry sat with Draco and Granger on the other couch. Black sat sulking in a chair. Severus would have sympathised if he didn't despise the man. He himself would rather have sat with Harry…

Severus easily nodded at the right moments, thanked Molly for the tea and declined the cake, while watching Harry constantly out of the corner of his eye. He examined his feelings for the boy and found them profoundly changed, and probably not for the better. His attempt to wean himself off the Scios had led to some unforeseeable consequences. If he had gradually watched Harry during the last months he might have kept his fatherly view of things, but to have listened for months, sometimes to very dirty thoughts, and then to be confronted by this stunning wizard… who could possibly blame Severus? He would do that himself of course, because it wasn't right.

Harry was talking quietly with his friends, and it didn't matter if he was over the age of consent. He was just a boy joking about with his friends… just a boy… when was Harry Potter ever just a boy? Severus felt insulted on Harry's behalf for using such a term. Those green eyes, directed at you for only a second, would tell you all you needed to know. Harry was hardly a child. He was older in ways perhaps only Severus knew. Even Black seemed oblivious to the full extent of Harry's… experience. Severus had devised as much from the pair's conversations. Harry often complained to himself how no one really knew what it was like, being the Chosen One.

Suddenly, as if sensing someone watching, Harry turned his head and locked eyes with Severus. He smiled, somewhat shyly this time, and Severus felt the urge to know what was going on inside that mind. He summoned his magic, locking it inside him and thankful it wasn't a spell that needed outward signs of completion. He had never done it wandlessly, but after a tense, silent moment Harry's thoughts rang clear.

_'God, he's still sex. Those eyes, are they blacker? Fuck, why won't he stop looking at me? It's driving me mad!'_

"Professor?" It took a moment for Severus to realise Harry was actually speaking out loud, his eyes wide and waiting for his answer.

"Yes?" Severus replied coolly. Black's eyes narrowed, as if daring Severus to insult Harry.

"I- eh… I have a present for you," Harry said, causing conversations to pause. Harry blushed slightly. "As a thank you, for-" _'for helping me last year,' _he stopped, looking down at his hands and the temperature seemed to go down with everyone else at the reminder of the Weasley boy, while it went considerably higher for Severus. Harry had gotten him a present? The idea seemed so very surreal that he simply stared for the longest moment. Only Dumbledore ever gave him anything, and it was always some horrid muggle treat, just to irritate Severus.

"Well, do you plan to give it to me?" Severus asked, clearing his throat.

"Yeah, well, it's up in my room." Harry rose from the couch. "Would you come with me?" Severus' eyebrows rose in surprise and Harry blushed again. "I want to see your face when you open it, but I don't want- I-" _'don't want the other to see it.' _

"Just go, Potter," Malfoy spoke up. "I'll explain it to the others." Harry took a deep breath to steady himself and his eyes pleaded with Severus to hurry before someone protested. Indeed, it looked like Black was about to pop, but a stern gaze from Lupin was keeping him quiet. Severus rose swiftly.

"Lead the way."

The walk upstairs seemed to take forever. The walk down the hallway like a walk down death row. Finally they were inside Harry's bedroom, an extra bed was set up for Draco in the corner, and the boy took ages to ward and lock the door, but Severus didn't comment. He had never been this unsure of himself before. It had been decades since he had last been this attracted to a person, which was a bit strange, he thought, considering there were other wizards Severus had met that had been equally stunning, but Harry was unique. Why?

"I- I hope you-… well, I hope you don't throw it away," Harry mumbled. _'He's going to hate it. Why do I do this to myself?' _He was holding out a roll of parchment and Severus suddenly realised what his present was. Harry had drawn him something. His heart clenched at the thought. Harry had spent time, on him, making him something. He reached out and took the parchment, being sure not to crumple it. Harry was looking at his feet. "Thank you for everything you did last year at the Ministry and… before that… with the Dursleys." Severus almost clenched his fist in remembrance of the whipping, but he didn't because of the scroll.

"You don't need to thank me for that," he said softly. Harry shrugged, not looking up.

"You were so… decent towards me, I wanted to. And you didn't tell anyone about the-… scars."

"I would never _tell_," Severus bit out harshly, causing Harry to flinch.

"I know," he said quickly. "I-" Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking at the wall to the right. _'You were just so helpful and understanding. You knew just what to say and do… I just don't want you to stop. If you go back to hating me I'll kick myself.' _

"It's alright," Severus said, causing Harry to look at him. "I understand." Harry blinked once, and then he smiled softly, and for the life of him Severus couldn't come up with a single reason not to smile back. So he did. _'Wow, he has a nice smile.'_

"Open it," Harry urged, nodding to the scroll. Severus almost didn't catch it because he was so stunned by the silent compliment. He dismissed it, thinking he must have misheard, and unrolled the scroll carefully and sucked in a breath when he saw it. He hadn't known what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this. There was no denying who it was. Four people, two wizards and two witches, standing in front of the castle, looking full of Christmas cheer themselves. Salazar Slytherin was in the middle beside Gryffindor, their eyes locked on one another and dancing with some emotion Severus couldn't bring himself to contemplate. Slytherin's robes were the purest green and he had a snake coiled around his neck. He was easily the most prominent figure of the four. The whole picture was done in colour, but the green in that robe seemed to catch your eye, just like Harry's eyes.

"I wasn't sure what to draw," he distantly heard Harry mumble. "So I looked up their descriptions… it's a horrible present, I know-" _'He hates it. Why did I bother? I want to curl up and die-'_

"No," Severus interrupted, his eyes glancing up and locking with Harry's. "It's beautiful. Simply beautiful. You draw very well." Harry blushed redder than Gryffindor's robe and looked away. In that moment Severus knew, _knew_ what he felt for Harry. Why Harry was different from all his past lovers. Love. He wanted nothing more than to pull the young Gryffindor close and never let go. It was a _horrible_ realisation. This was still a boy! He harshly reminded himself. He was in love with a boy. He knew Harry so well, and yet he wanted to learn so much more. And the diary's warning suddenly rang clear in his head. He felt sick, but he still kept his composure perfectly. "Thank you," he whispered, his words seemed to convey that he was thanking Harry for much more than the picture. "I didn't get you a present, exactly, but I do have something for you." Harry looked on curiously as Severus tucked away the picture before producing a jar out of his pocket.

"What is it?" Harry frowned in confusion as he took it from Severus' outstretched hand.

"A salve," he answered softly. Harry tensed first, but then he looked up at Severus and smiled, a little bittersweet.

"That was really thoughtful," he remarked.

"Hardly," Severus replied. "I should have given it to you months ago. I'm sorry it's so late in coming."

"Not at all… it will be good to get rid of them." He held out a pale hand. "Will you help me?" _'Please, say yes.' _The question, so innocent, and yet so easy to interpret the wrong way, sent shivers of dread down his spine. He could not risk letting Harry discover his feelings, nor his attraction. Harry's fantasies wanted him, but dreams and reality were hardly the same thing.

"Perhaps it's best if you ask your godfather," Severus replied, only to be startled by the force of Harry's thoughts.

_'No, God, no! I can't tell Sirius. Only you know about the scars.' _"Please." _'Don't make me ask him.' _Severus was powerless to refuse.

"Alright." Harry smiled in relief and handed back the salve. He turned and went over to the bed…

Harry took off his t-shirt and took a deep breath. His heart had almost stopped when Snape had told him to ask Sirius. No one had seen his scars except Snape. He lay down on his bed, on his stomach, and waited. He tried to relax, but the thought of those hands on him made him shiver. He felt Snape sit down beside him and held his breath.

"You must remove the glamour," a dark voice murmured. Harry closed his eyes and concentrated, focusing on finite incantatem. He felt a tingle of magic and heard Snape sigh softly. _'He must think I'm so ugly.'_ He clutched the pillow and buried his face into it. _'I'm such a freak.' _

"There won't be anything left of these scars once I'm done," Snape murmured and Harry's heart fluttered. That was right. They would be gone, and his skin wouldn't be disgusting looking. Suddenly he yelped, something cold had touched his back. "Sorry, I'll cast a warming charm." Another tingle of magic and Harry sighed, able to relax as Snape smoothed the salve over his many scars. It was surprisingly non-sexual. Snape moved with clinical precision.

"It's working," Snape commented matter-of-factly. Harry smiled to himself, only to frown when Snape seemed to hesitate, his hands on his lower back. He fancied he could actually hear Snape swallow. "How far down does this scar go?" he asked, his fingers touching a long mark that went from his left side, across his lower back and down into his trousers. Harry tried to remember, but he didn't often look at his scars.

"I think it stops just above my-" _'bum'._ Harry blushed and couldn't continue. Snape reached with both hands and very gently lowered the waistband. He stopped _just_ above his crack. Harry was red as a Weasley now, but at the same time his heart was pounding and a small part of him wanted Snape to go even lower. Snape, however, made quick work of the tip of the scar and then pulled the trousers back up.

"Turn over," Snape commanded, and Harry complied. He watched as Snape took care of the scars on his chest and arms. They were far less numerous. The man's black eyes were intense as they focused on his task. _'I wish he would look at me like that for another reason. Fuck, I really do want him, in real life, not just fantasies. His touch is so soft, but I bet he could be just as passionate.'_ Snape's eyes suddenly snapped to his and Harry took a sharp intake of breath.

"Done," Snape said, breaking the eye contact and rising from the bed. "Thank you for the drawing," he said. He turned towards the door, then seemed to pause. "Merry Christmas," he said softly, and then he was gone. Harry went boneless on the bed. Holy Fucking Merlin. Could those eyes be more intense? Harry shuddered and his hands glided over his healing chest. Wow, Snape really knew his stuff, but that wasn't surprising. What was surprising was that he had made it for him… it caused a warm sensation in Harry's heart.

Suddenly he sprang to life. He jumped up, forgetting his t-shirt, and all but ran to his desk. He pulled a piece of parchment to him and found a piece of coal. He started sketching at a frantic pace.

He had just about finished the very dark picture, consisting only of Snape's eyes, the rest of his face in shadow. Harry didn't even notice the door open, or the person coming to stand beside him.

"Whoa." The soft voice made Harry snap out of his daze and he looked up to see Sirius staring down at the drawing. Slowly, the man's eyes drew darker and his brow furrowed. Harry knew the exact moment he realised who it was. He glanced sharply at Harry. "Where's your shirt, Harry?" he asked, his voice oddly calm. Harry swallowed. Ops.

xxx

Severus collapsed on his couch the moment he reached his rooms. He had sent a message to Dumbledore, briefly explaining that he was alive and needed to see the man tomorrow. Right now he wouldn't be able to look the man in the eye. Applying the salve to the young skin had been torture. Even worse was Harry's thoughts about his body. How could he believe he was ugly? Even with the scars Harry couldn't possibly be ugly. His skin seemed to shine outwards, Severus liked to think it was the boy's strong magic.

He was in love the Harry Potter. He wasn't just in love. He loved every piece of Harry, scarred or not, with all his heart… and his love would never be returned. Severus wished he could go back to Kiev and burn that damned diary.

-:-

Yay. Sev realised he loves Harry to death. And it only took 16 chapters. Let's just hope it doesn't take Harry 16 more. He's definitely attracted to Snape, but that's not the same. Don't worry, he'll change his mind eventually. ;-)


	17. Chapter 17

I'm glad everybody enjoyed the last chapter. This chapter was hard to write! Sirius just wouldn't have the reaction I wanted! And kept getting distracted by other things! That's the problem with fanfiction, the only one really, is that the characters are so developed and we all know them so well, that sometimes they just won't do the stuff we want them to do in fics. I think I got it in the end, though.

Note: This is my first time writing het. It's very mild and this is probably the last time the pair will steal time away from the main pairing. I just had to give them a scene because I couldn't just abandon Draco, could I? Hope you all like it, even if it's het!

-:-

"Where's your shirt Harry?"

Harry swallowed nervously, unable to look away from his godfather's piercing gaze. What should he say? What _could_ he say?

"It was… hot?" Harry cursed inwardly at the pathetically childish answer. Sirius frowned deeply.

"Harry…" he said, clear warning to come out with the truth immediately or there would be trouble.

"I took it off, so what?" Harry managed to say defensively, some of his Gryffindor courage surfacing. Sirius' expression didn't change.

"_When_ exactly did you take it off?"

"I don't understand-" Harry began, intending to play dumb, but Sirius cut him off, his voice harder than Harry had _ever_ heard it before.

"You damned well understand perfectly," he said, leaning slightly over Harry, still sitting in his chair, shirtless. "Snape and you disappear for a long time, so you can give him a _present?_ And now you're sitting here half naked, drawing him! What the hell did you give him Harry?" Something sparked inside Harry and he jumped to his feet, forcing Sirius to back away, startled.

"I didn't give anything that you're implying and I can't believe you think I would do something like that! You think I would show my gratitude to him by-…" Harry cut himself off, unable to finish. It wasn't that the thought of thanking Snape that way was all that unappealing, but what Sirius was suggesting was just nasty. That Harry would practically whore himself out just because he was _grateful_. Sirius seemed now quite horrified with his previous statement… Harry wasn't certain if he should look _quite_ so horrified…

"I'm sorry, Harry. That was an awful thing to say," he said sincerely. "But I'm your godfather, and I can't help but jump to conclusions. It's what we do." His lips quirked in a small smile and Harry calmed considerably. "What did you give him?" Harry frowned, not sure he wanted to answer, but since Sirius seemed only curious he decided it couldn't hurt.

"A drawing," he said. Sirius' eyebrows rose.

"Oh." For some reason, Sirius sounded disappointed. Harry looked to his desk and the stack of non-private drawings he had there. Suddenly he was feeling very guilty. He walked to his bed and picked up his previous discarded shirt, trying to ignore the way Sirius was now gazing down at the stack of drawings. As he buttoned the shirt up he came to stand beside Sirius again.

"I was actually thinking of drawing you something… only it didn't turn out the way it was suppose to so I-" _'gave up because I thought you'd hate it anyway and I thought it was a lame gift, but then I couldn't find a thing for Snape and-'_

"Really?" Sirius was staring hopefully at him. Could it be that people actually liked his drawings? "I liked the present you got me of course, it's not that, but… could I see it?" Harry nodded, glad the topic was far remote from anything to do with shirts or Potion Masters. He started rummaging through the sketches, some coloured, while others the more typical chalk drawings. Finally he found the one that had been almost completed, before it too, had been swept aside. He handed it nervously to Sirius, unable to look at the man's reaction.

"Oh, Harry," the name said more than any praise could. Harry looked at his godfather and smiled tentatively. Sirius looked up from the drawing and beamed. "It's amazing! You're brilliant, Harry. James and Lily would be so proud." Feeling a distinct lump in his throat Harry practically jumped into Sirius' arms when the man opened them for a hug.

"You really think so?" Harry asked, his head resting on Sirius' shoulder. The man squeezed him harder, his strong arms circling Harry with fierce love and protection.

"Of course," Sirius assured him confidently.

"Is everything okay?" The two separated and turned to the voice. Remus' head was poking into the room. Harry and Sirius both smiled at him and he entered, returning the smiles, though his was laced with curiosity. "What's happened?"

"Look at this, Moony. Harry drew it."

"It was never finished-" Harry hastened to explain.

"Doesn't matter," Sirius said firmly with a pointed look at Harry as he handed the drawing over. Remus took it and gazed down at it. Harry had always considered Remus to be more… cultured, so his opinion mattered more when it came to his skills. He would never tell anyone that of course.

Remus was looking at a picture Harry had tried countless times to draw from another picture. Usually, when Harry drew people, he had them sit still for him, or he had seen them from every angle so often that he knew every inch of their face. Drawing Lily and James from their wedding photo, with them moving constantly, however, had been a challenge. He also wanted to include Sirius, Remus and himself (at his current age), standing together in casual clothing like a fun family photo. He had given up in the end. Everyone's faces had been drawn with a good amount of detail, and their bodies to their waists. the rest was just indistinct lines. Harry had stopped when he had suddenly become unsatisfied with Lily's nose.

"It's very beautiful, Harry. You are a remarkable artist for someone who has never had lessons of any kind." Harry blushed at the compliment, but smiled nonetheless. Remus handed the picture back. "I think you should try and finish it and maybe colour it. We could have it framed." Harry blinked, looking from Sirius to Remus, the former nodding encouragingly.

"Okay… I'll try."

xxx

Harry sat on his bed, the notebook in his lap. Since he had been drawing so much lately he had started to save his notebook for when he drew his 'private' pictures. He hadn't drawn in it that much actually, since he had been trying desperately to get the drawing of his parents right for months. And Snape's picture of the Founders had taken just as long, almost. Usually he would never have the notebook out while others where in the room, but since Draco and Hermione were too occupied with their discussion he didn't think it would become a problem. Besides, he was just drawing Snape's eyes again. After Sirius' reaction he had decided that subject belonged in the notebook as well.

"Oh, I give up!" Hermione huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Draco was seated on his bed, while Hermione sat in the chair by the desk. It was the second to last day of the holidays and yesterday Draco had officially asked Harry to call him by his first name. Why he had to go about it so formally Harry had no idea. He assumed it was a pureblood thing.

Harry glanced at them and rolled his eyes to himself. They had been arguing for twenty minutes. Something to do with old Ministry legislation from a few hundred years ago. Harry had zoned out pretty quickly. Honestly, the two deserved each other if they were going to be that boring. Of course Harry didn't know if anything had happened between them yet, but he suspected. They were actually supposed to be playing a game of Exploding Snap.

"Then you concede my point?" Draco asked, a hint of smugness coming through. Hermione glared at him.

"Never. There is no empiric evidence whatsoever-"

"Guys," Harry interrupted. They looked at him, both looking a little peeved he had interrupted the argument. "Can't we do something else? Please? You're leaving on Monday." This seemed to get through to them and they exchanged a somewhat sheepish glance. Hermione gazed at him apologetically.

"We're sorry, Harry. Let's do something together. What are you drawing?" Harry tried to casually close his book, ignoring Draco smirking behind Hermione's back.

"Oh, nothing interesting. So, Exploding Snap?"

"Oh, come on, Harry," Draco drawled. Somehow it didn't sound as effective without the _Potter_ at the end. "Why don't you show her your _lovely_ drawings?" he leered. Hermione looked curiously from one to the other. Harry glared at Draco.

"You mean like the one I drew last summer of a certain someone?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Draco's eyes widened in realisation and he coughed. Hermione's brow was furrowed pensively.

"Never mind. So, Exploding Snap was it?"

"What are you two talking about?" Hermione asked suspiciously. "What drawing?"

"It's nothing," Draco said quickly before Harry could answer.

"I want to see," Hermione said, a determined glint in her eyes Harry did not like at the moment. She got up and went to stand in front of Harry. "Give it to me."

"Absolutely not," Draco said, rising from his bed. His cheeks were flushed and Harry suspected Draco was absolutely _hating_ himself for provoking Harry in the first place. Of course Harry did not want Hermione to see that drawing anymore than Draco did. He shook his head.

"It's nothing, honest," he said, clutching the notebook to his chest. Hermione glanced between the pair: Draco standing nervously, half-glaring at Harry, his cheeks flushed. Harry sitting on his bed, holding his notebook as if his life depended on it. Hermione wasn't the smartest witch in her year for nothing.

"_Accio notebook!"_ Before Harry even had time to tighten his grip the notebook was out of his hands and into Hermione's. She swirled away from Draco when he advanced on her, opening to notebook at the last page and working her way to the front. Draco tried to get around her but Hermione flicked her wand again. _"Protego." _A shield popped into existence, knocking Draco back on Harry's bed. Hermione was past the latest drawing of Snape's eyes… After that Harry had only drawn a couple drawings of hands on cocks. Hermione flushed, but moved past them quickly, obviously deciding Draco wouldn't have a problem with her seeing them. Harry was gay to that was no surprise… then came…

"Oh, my." The magic shield dropped away as Hermione's concentration vanished. Her hand was covering her open mouth, her eyes wide. Harry and Draco sat beside each other, looking at Hermione with guilty expressions and refusing to look at each other. Draco was redder than a tomato and Harry wasn't much better. He really needed to hide his notebook better and _not_ take it out when company was around. Ever.

Hermione seemed to take a deep breath. She hadn't turned the page, which was pretty understandable. When Draco had asked that fateful night all those months ago where Harry wanted him Harry hadn't known what to say. Eventually Draco had hopped onto the desk. With one foot up and with his elbow rested on his knee, Draco had been very… exposed. He had stared at Harry with piercing intensity. To Harry he had looked like some magical creature, or more like the muggle version of the seductive vampire, seemingly relaxed, but ready to pounce at any moment. He had spelled away his hair gel and the blond locks were drawn framing his face, giving it more shadow. Harry had extinguished all light except one candle. It was one of the pictures he had properly coloured, and used a great deal of time on.

Hermione finally turned towards them. Harry felt like he was going to be reprimanded like a first year, but Hermione wasn't looking at him. She was gazing rather intensely at Draco, who couldn't look anywhere but at his hands, though he kept glancing up at her as if waiting for the explosion.

"You sat for this?" she asked him, her voice flat. Draco seemed to hesitate for a moment, then he looked up at her and nodded. "I… hope it was for purely artistic reasons?" Again Draco nodded, quicker this time. Harry did too, causing her to look at him. "It's very beautiful, Harry," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I just took it like that." She gently placed the notebook on his lap and then she turned around and walked out of the room. Draco and Harry exchanged a confused glance and then Draco was on his feet, running out the door after her.

…

Hermione was just closing the door to her room when Draco stopped her. He pushed the door open again and she let him. When he stepped in his cheeks were still red in embarrassment. Hermione felt her own cheeks heat up slightly.

"Listen," Draco began.

"You don't have to explain," Hermione interrupted. "It's just a drawing. What does it matter to me if Harry draws you?" '…_naked'._ There was nothing between them, after all. Hermione had been so sure, on several occasions, that Draco would ask her out, or kiss her. They had become friends at Hogwarts, mainly because practically nobody from Slytherin was talking to Draco at all. But sometimes Hermione thought Draco actually liked spending time with her. They argued a lot, but they were mainly intellectual discussions. She had admitted to herself during the summer that she was fascinated by him, especially since he hadn't once said anything pureblood-ish against her all year. But maybe it was all an act?

"It _was_ just a drawing. I don't know why I told him to do it." Hermione gazed into the grey eyes.

"You suggested it?" she asked. He nodded, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. Hermione couldn't help but fixate on the pale throat. Her eyes trailed down to Draco's collar, and without her permission her mind began picturing the drawing. How would Draco look naked in front of her right now? Her face was now the red one.

"Well, you really don't mind that Harry's gay then," she heard herself commenting.

"No, I don't," Draco agreed. "But it wasn't like that."

"I know," Hermione said, breaking eye contact and looking at her feet. "But of course you can be- I mean I don't-… if you're attracted-"

"I'm not," Draco said softly. Had they moved closer? Draco seemed awfully close. Hermione found herself unable to look up. She focused on his fancy shoes. They were polished to perfection. Everything about him was always so perfect. Perfect clothes, perfect hair, perfect manners and a perfectly sharpened wit and intellect… and of course… a perfect body. Merlin, that drawing had made her feel things she had never felt before. Since when was Draco Malfoy perfect? And what would he want with a bushy-haired, know-it-all with no sense about fashion or any of the other things girls were supposed to know about?

"Did you-" Draco cleared his throat. "Fuck," he swore softly, causing Hermione to finally look up at him. Their eyes met. Draco stared down at her. He seemed so big and tall when he was this close. His hand came up ever so slowly and Hermione held her breath as it cupped her cheek, her eyes fluttering close. She knew he was moving closer. The magic around them seemed to shift. Perhaps their magic auras shifting to meld together? Then lips touched hers tentatively. One peck, a pause, and then another, longer this time, and another. As Draco started moving his lips over hers his hand glided backwards into her hair and held the back of her head.

It was her first kiss. It was with Draco Malfoy of all people, and it was perfect. With his arms holding her, one in her hair and the other around her waist, she kept seeing the drawing in his mind, and kept telling herself that it was the same beautiful creature that was kissing her now. With another short, soft peck Draco pulled back, but kept her in his arms. She opened her eyes and found the same intense grey eyes from the drawing staring down at her.

"Will you go out with me?" Draco asked. Hermione smiled.

"Yes." Draco sighed deeply and then leaned in again. Another long sensual kiss followed, but Draco didn't try to make anything more out of it. Hermione considered deepening it, but she wasn't sure if she was quite ready. It was all frighteningly new to her, and you couldn't read up on these experiences. There wasn't a manual for every relationship. When they broke apart again something occurred to Hermione.

"Did you want to ask me something else?" Draco's brow furrowed. His fingers moved in her hair, causing a shiver to run down her spine. "You started to ask _did you_. Did I what?" Draco's face was red again. He started to pull away, but Hermione's hands quickly gripped the front of his robes. "You can ask me anything."

"I… I wanted to ask if you… _liked_ the drawing," he said, his voice slightly strained. Hermione blushed, but thanks to her Gryffindor-ness she held his gaze.

"I liked it very, _very_ much," she said, her voice sounding deep to her ears. Slowly a smirk spread across Draco's face, but it quickly morphed into a big smile.

xxx

Severus tried. He did! He tried so hard, but he couldn't bring himself to stop completely. Three months of agony had passed. Christmas felt like a lifetime ago. Harry's naked back and chest under his fingers felt like a sin best forgotten, but the memory continued to come back to haunt him at the worst opportunities. He had discussed the Scios Totalus with Dumbledore, hinting that they hadn't properly explored the source-material. Dumbledore had of course been one step ahead of him. He had apparently been to Kiev himself during his long absence right after Harry's expulsion. He had also implied he had a good deal more in his private collection. Severus hadn't let his annoyance show at all. He had instead asked if Dumbledore was still looking for it, and Dumbledore had replied that they were very close, but that Voldemort was probably just as close…

The Headmaster also made Severus promise he wouldn't leave the castle like that again, to which the Potions Master had grudgingly agreed just to get the man off his back. He promised himself, secretly, that he would try not use the Scios at all. Maybe it would come off that way? Hence, his current despair.

He had caved after a week. Now he limited himself to two listening-sessions a week, but it wasn't nearly enough. He wanted to know if Harry was all right. He wanted a _lot_ more than that, but he had never been a man who kept his hopes up.

Easter wasn't far off. Maybe he could go to Grimmauld Place then? Just to try and remove the Scios of course… oh, who was he kidding? He loved the boy and he wanted to be with him! The neediness of his own thoughts made Severus sick. He had never needed anyone before. It was pure agony, just like the diary had said. If only he had read the blaster thing before he ever went after that damned device!

That tied in with another question Severus had once asked himself. Would he ever have been able to fall in love with Harry without the Scios Totalus? Probably not with their history, but Severus knew, without a doubt, that if he had gotten the chance to get to know Harry, without magic or their old issues, he would have fallen just as hard. It wasn't magic working on him, it was simply the knowledge of who Harry was. Like he said: it was agony.

He had almost gone to Dumbledore for help, because the man seemed intent on finding the Scios Totalus, and although they now knew there could be more than one, Severus was feeling slightly guilty. Then Dumbledore called an emergency Order meeting. Severus shouldn't have been perplexed at this, it happened occasionally whenever new information was found, but this time Dumbledore told him to leave without him, saying he would be joining them shortly after he picked up another wizard. He wouldn't say who it was, nor would he say what the meeting was about.

Severus was greeted in the hallway of Grimmauld Place by an annoyed looking Harry Potter, along with a deeply frowning Draco Malfoy for some unknown reason.

"What are you doing here?" Severus addressed Draco, more to keep from staring at Harry than actually being interested. Dumbledore would reveal all in his own, slow, time. The blond shrugged.

"I don't know. Dumbledore said to be here. Sent me through the Floo hours ago."

"I don't like it," Harry said. Draco shrugged again, though Severus knew the boy was just as concerned as Harry.

"What don't you like?" Severus asked.

"Dumbledore told me to stay upstairs until I was called," Draco explained. Severus frowned at that. Did this mean what he thought it meant? Harry didn't know another wizard was coming, obviously, or surely the boy would have made the same connection?

"You better go upstairs then," Severus advised, stalking past Harry and down the stairs, the former Gryffindor hot on his heels after a quick word with Draco.

"You know what's going on." It was a statement, not a question.

"I have a theory," Severus answered. "And I doubt very much that either party will be pleased by it."

-:-

Another cliffy. Sorry, couldn't resist. It was just the perfect place to cut.


	18. Chapter 18

The cliffhanger was a bit evil (smirk), and this was really hard to write so it took longer than usual I think. Sorry. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I wonder if this fic'll have more than 300 before it's finished… (yes, that was a blatant hint for you to step up to the challenge )

-:-

The Order members talked quietly with one another, waiting for Dumbledore to arrive. Harry, for some reason completely unknown to Severus for a change, had seated himself next to the Potions Master. They didn't speak, something Severus was grateful for. Just having his love, yes, his _love_, this close was agony. It was also a profound experience. The more time Severus spent in Harry's presence, the more he realised the depth of his feelings for the boy. It was a humbling and terrifying realisation all at once, but a part of him, a tiny part he didn't acknowledge, was excited and filled with a new kind of joy he had never known.

Eventually people quieted down as they heard footsteps on the stairs, two people coming down. The door to the kitchen opened and Dumbledore revealed himself. He came in with a smile and a twinkle, whoever was with him remaining in the corridor.

"Thank you all for coming at such short notice, but this cannot wait as it could become vital to winning the war for good." A murmur rippled through the small gathering: only the people who had been during there during Dumbledore's talk on the Scios Totalus. "Now, I know I ask a lot from you all, and I appreciate it immensely, but I must ask you something now that might be harder than anything you've ever done for me." Severus' thoughts were dark. He did not like where this was going. The Weasley couple exchanged a worried glance, but Arthur spoke up, his voice filled with Gryffindor conviction.

"We will do whatever you ask, Albus." Dumbledore smiled and nodded in thanks.

"I know you will try your best. What I want you to do is to trust me. This person is here under my protection. Molly, Arthur, please believe me that I wouldn't ask you of this if I didn't think it was absolutely necessary for the war." The Weasleys nodded warily and Dumbledore stepped to the side to allow whoever was waiting to enter. "You can come in now." Severus watched, most likely the only one besides Dumbledore who wasn't surprised, as Lucius Malfoy stepped into the room. His face was a perfect mask. He was dressed in fine robes and had his cane with him, which Severus thought Dumbledore was foolish to allow, but then again, the man was already inside Headquarters. Lucius' eyes glanced briefly at Severus and he thought he saw a flicker of emotion in the eyes of the man he once called his friend.

Black had of course jumped to his feet immediately, Lupin's hand around his wrist the only thing stopping him from doing something idiotic. Molly and Arthur were half embracing each other, looks of betrayal on their faces. Moody had his wand out, but was only pointing in warningly at the Death Eater, obviously trying his best to heed Dumbledore's word. McGonagall looked shocked, but did nothing.

Lucius took one, slightly disdainful, look around the room, ignoring everybody's reaction and then rounded on Dumbledore.

"You told me that Draco would be here," he said. Severus could tell the man was trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

"He is upstairs at the moment," Dumbledore replied mildly.

"I will not hand it over until I see him. You gave me your word."

"That I did," Dumbledore said, nodding. He turned to the Boy Who Lived. "Harry, could you run upstairs and get Draco for us?"

"I would rather go upstairs and see him," Lucius said, but Dumbledore held up his hand.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that, Mr. Malfoy. I'm sure you can understand." Muscles in Lucius' jaw flexed as he tried to keep his temper. Moody looked two seconds away from stunning the man. Lupin tightened his grip on his mate. Molly and Arthur stilled looked like kicked puppies. Harry was simply watching warily. He hadn't risen from his chair yet.

"I will relinquish my wand if it will make you reconsider," Lucius ground out, surprising everybody.

"I'm afraid seeing Draco alone is impossible," Dumbledore replied, somewhat too apologetically for Severus' liking. After all, who knew what Lucius could say to persuade the boy to do… anything? Lucius' face was slightly flushed, while the knuckles on the hand holding the cane were white. "Harry?" The boy nodded and, with one suspicious glance at Lucius, he left the room. Severus heard him sprinting up the stairs.

"Albus?" Arthur finally spoke up. Dumbledore looked at them sadly. He surprised Severus when he didn't say anything and simply shook his head sadly, indicating he wouldn't talk about it at the moment. A moment later and Harry entered, closely followed by Draco. Lucius turned to meet his son, who looked at his father with barely disguised trepidation. Severus was very curious to how this meeting would go. Draco shot a questioning glance at Dumbledore, who nodded encouragingly. Severus almost snorted. Harry slowly retook his seat.

"Father," Draco greeted with a small nod.

"Son," was the reply.

"What are you doing here?" Draco asked, probably before he could stop himself. Lucius sighed irritably.

"I am here because of you," he said, a hint of accusation in his voice. Draco flinched almost imperceptibly. Molly and Arthur clutched at each other tighter. Draco's cheeks were slightly pink. Lucius gave another sigh and turned to Dumbledore.

"A silencing charm at least? Only for a moment?" There was a startling amount of pleading in the usually proud voice. Even Draco looked shocked. Dumbledore gave in, nodding gravely and casting the charm over the pair himself, no doubt so he alone could listen in, just in case.

Draco swallowed as he felt the ripple of magic over him, trying to look his father in the eye.

"Draco, did you really think your actions would have no bearing on my own?" Lucius asked, looking intently at Draco. The youngest Malfoy had grown considerably since last they met and Draco was now almost as tall as his father, but he didn't feel that way.

"I don't understand."

"You made your choice, and though your reasoning is probably flawed, I saw my options dwindling," Lucius continued, his face blank, except for his grey eyes, burning into Draco's. "You are my heir, my son. Did you expect me to leave you here?"

"You can't do anything-"

"Do you really know me so little?" Lucius cut him off harshly. Draco flinched again and Lucius sighed. "Then let me educate you. I will not let you die. The Malfoys will always persevere. Therefore, whichever side you are on, I must make sure is the right side. Are we clear?" Draco's mouth parted in shock. "Stop gaping like some Hufflepuff," his father snapped, effectively snapping Draco's mouth shut. "I want you to know this does not mean I approve of your actions in the slightest, but I suppose my own choice of allegiances made in my youth were of a similar character. You are probably in love." The last was said with no small amount of disgust. As Draco blushed Lucius rolled his eyes. "Merlin, help us."

"Father-," Draco began, but cut himself off, averting his eyes. A ripple of magic went over them again and Lucius looked sharply at Dumbledore.

"I am afraid we are out of time. Draco, if you would be so kind as to wait upstairs? Mr. Malfoy, you have seen that your son is not being held captive in any way, are you prepared to fulfil your end of the deal?" Lucius looked angry now. He turned back to his son, but Draco was already scurrying out of the room. For a moment Severus was sure he saw a look of hurt flash across Lucius' face. Judging by the way Arthur and Molly exchanged an odd glance, he wasn't the only one. Black finally sat down and Moody put away his wand.

"Mr. Malfoy has been in contact with me for a few months now," Dumbledore said as the pair sat down at the head of the table. "He has, only hours ago, stolen the Scios Totalus from Voldemort and has brought it here." At Dumbledore expectant look Lucius pulled out something from his pocket.

Severus knew the moment he saw it that there were only _two_ Scios Totalus in existence. He knew this because of the shape of the one Lucius lay on the table. It was crescent shaped and silver in colour. The golden ball currently hovering invisible over Harry's head would fit perfectly against it. Dumbledore picked it up and examined it closer before nodding and placing it in a pocket.

"Thank you, Mr. Malfoy," he said cordially. Lucius didn't react. "Voldemort obtained this very recently, and he believed he was safe against its power," Dumbledore continued, addressing the room.

"So, how do we use it?" Black asked, eyeing the device with curiosity.

"Unfortunately, even though Voldemort was safe while in possession of one, we cannot utilize its full potential without _both_."

"So we still need to find the other one?" Black exclaimed as Severus' stomach plummeted. He listened in total numbness as Dumbledore explained.

"Yes, I am afraid so. You see there are two Scios Totalus. I will not bore you with their long history, but I will tell you this: alone a Scios will allow you to spy on an individual, _observe_ them to your heart's content. When put together, however, the two become even more powerful, and you can _delve_ into the mind of the target, effectively seeking out any secret, any thought that is protected by magic. When the Scios are brought together they give you ultimate knowledge of another. This is what we need, for Voldemort has surely protected his mind better than any other wizard. But even if you remove your memories, the combined Scios is said to be able to read even the weakest imprint still in your mind." Silence fell over the room as the Order members took in what Dumbledore was saying. It was Lucius who broke the silence.

"The Dark Lord will be looking for the other once he realises this one has been stolen. He won't be able to find out that it was me, at least I am confident he won't, and I shall continue to provide you with information."

"Yes, thank you again, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said.

"Don't thank me," Lucius said, causing everyone in the room to look at him. "The Dark Lord will be furious, probably insane with anger, and he will attack moments after he realises what has happened. I suggest you prepare." He rose from his chair and Dumbledore did the same. Everybody else simply watched as the Headmaster led the man out. When Dumbledore came back his face was grave.

"He is right, Voldemort will attack when he realises what has happened," he said seriously. "I hope all of you are prepared and remember what to do when it starts?" Everybody nodded, having been well trained for this kind of situation. Everybody knew who to contact, to spread the word to all the Order members. The Old Crowd had been through this before, and the younger ones were quickly learning. "Good," Dumbledore said. "Stay on alert for the time being." He nodded to all present and then left, walking upstairs to gather Draco no doubt.

Severus stared straight a head as talk rose around him, murmurings on what action the Dark Lord was likely to take. He refused to look at Harry, who was listening intently to the experienced people around him. Instead he rose slowly, walking to the door as if he would crumble at any moment. He climbed the stairs, feeling as if gravity had gained in strength since last he moved.

The outcome of the war rested on a little golden ball floating over Harry Potter's head. There was irony in there, Severus was sure of it, but he was just too completely and utterly miserable to care. The damned thing was stuck! If it had happened to anyone else he would have laughed his arse off. As it was he wanted to cry, but that wasn't more likely to happen than the Scios falling and hitting Harry in the head.

He had never felt so utterly lost and useless in his life, which was saying something considering the horrible mistakes he had made in the past. This seemed to top them all. And the worst part was that all he really wanted was to go home and watch Harry the one hour he had still allowed himself this week.

Dumbledore was coming down the stairs, Draco right behind him, but Severus hardly noticed. He was so caught up in his current predicament he jumped when Dumbledore placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Severus, are you all right?" The kind eyes made him want to punch something, preferably the nose situated between said eyes. How would those eyes look on him if Dumbledore knew? Knew what kind of complete betrayal Severus had done?

"I'm fine," he head himself say. Draco looked at him confusedly, which told Severus he wasn't lying properly. He must really be out of it.

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore pressed, his grip tightening slightly. "Perhaps we should talk?" Against his better judgement, his instincts and everything he stood for as a Slytherin, Severus nodded mutely. What else was there to do? The Scios Totalus would not come off. _Only the pair would set him free_. The words of the diary echoed in his mind and he wondered if Dumbledore heard it, for the man frowned deeply and turned to Draco.

"Mr. Malfoy, you can find your way back, I assume?" The boy nodded and, with one last odd glance at Severus, he walked past them down the stairs to the kitchen and the floo. Severus felt the hand on his shoulder gently urging him into the drawing room, all the way in and down onto the sofa. Oh, Merlin, was he really going to confess? He mustered all his strength and lifted his gaze to those of his employer, leader and mentor. The blue eyes gazed steadily back, devoid of any twinkle, mirth or even empathy.

"I know where the other Scios Totalus is," he began, trying to swallow, his mouth suddenly very dry.

xxx

"Alright, see you at Easter," Harry grinned. Draco smiled back, a little more subdued, though Harry could hardly blame the boy considering the encounter he had just endured. Personally, Harry didn't trust Lucius' turnabout in the slightest, but he hadn't asked Draco what the man had said under the silencing charm. He had tried to steer the conversation to other things, but Draco had hardly wanted to be cheered up. Harry watched as the blond disappeared in the green flames before turning to do back up to his room.

"That must have been hard for him," Remus commented before Harry made it to the door. Harry paused and smiled sadly at his former professor. Sirius was watching the exchange; he too wore a worried expression. Harry nodded, not really finding words to explain that he couldn't even imagine what it was like to have a parent like Lucius, and then continued on his way. He heard Molly commenting along the same lines as the people downstairs discussed the young Slytherin.

Harry reached the hallway and was just about to go upstairs when he heard a very loud exclamation from the drawing room…

xxx

"I see…" Dumbledore trailed off, obviously waiting for Severus to actually _tell_ him. Unfortunately the next part wasn't as easy to say, if anything about this conversation could be considered easy. Severus looked down, drawing a breath and readying himself to destroy whatever fate this man might have had in him once.

"I used it," he gasped out before his nerve failed him. "I used it on… Potter." The silence was absolute. When Dumbledore broke it, it was as if he had broken open Severus' chest as the same time.

"Why would you do such a thing? Keep such a thing secret all this time?"

"I-…" _Merlin, _couldn't Dumbledore just ask for Severus' heart of a platter? He could more easily grant that wish at the moment. "When I found it I thought; why not keep it? It was my way of… keeping my independence." Again Dumbledore seemed to take an eternity before answering. Severus didn't dare look up. He was no Gryffindor.

"I am sorry you felt that way. I had no idea you viewed your allegiance to me in such a light." The words stung, because they were true. Severus hated serving any master. It had nothing to do with Light or Dark. He hated to be _indebted_ to Dumbledore more, though, and the Scios Totalus, lying in a dusty drawer for so many years, was a pathetic symbol of Severus' effort in deluding himself into thinking he didn't owe Dumbledore anything. Not his life, not his job, not his very soul.

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologise for, my boy. It is I who should apologising, if you have felt that serving me was like serving Voldemort." Severus flinched and squeezed his eyes shut. "May I ask why you decided you spy on Harry?"

"It was in a moment of insanity," Severus ground out, hoping that by continuing to speak he would be able to pretend Dumbledore wasn't there, wasn't gazing at him like he had stabbed him in the chest, like the traitor he was, the Judas, Brutus, Quisling and all other famous traitors before him. Funny, he couldn't think of one wizard… "Harry had gone into the pensive and seen my memories. I was enraged and I retaliated, but now it won't come off."

"The Scios has been working on him since he was expelled?" Dumbledore concluded. Severus nodded.

"I've tried taking it off, but-" he stopped. There was no point in this. He needed that other Scios, he realised it with startling clarity. Opening his eyes he lifted his head and found the blue orbs. They were surprisingly soft. Perhaps that was worse.

"And what have you learned, Severus, after watching Harry for so many months?" Dumbledore asked, his voice equally soft.

"A lot," Severus answered.

"Has your feelings towards him altered in any way?" Dumbledore continued and Severus bristled. So this was the game? He would not be pulled into it so easily.

"I have reached a new understanding of the boy's motivations, and I believe I have generally a better sense of why Gryffindors act so rashly, yes." The man's damned twinkle was back, only barely in the left eye, but Severus would swear on his mother's grave that it was there.

"I didn't mean your understanding or knowledge. How do you _feel_ about Harry?"

"I… don't despise him, if that's what you mean."

"Come now, Severus. I need to understand how the Scios works, otherwise it may never come off." Severus was on his feet before he realised it, glaring down at Dumbledore for forcing him to say it. It was clear to him that he would receive no help without his full confession. His soul would not be left whole.

"I LOVE HIM! Is that what you want to hear?!" He shouted, his fists clenched. "I found the Scios Totalus all those years ago, kept it for myself and then selfishly used it on Potter for pure, petty revenge! And then, as I watched him day in and day out for almost a year, I am now in complete _awe_ of him! Is that what you want to hear? Do you wish to examine my heart in the flesh, perhaps? How fate has dealt me her most fabulous poetic justice? I love Harry Potter with every fibre of my being and he shall never look at me with more than vague attention ever again! I shall either die from this obsession or, if you remove the blasted device, I shall die broken and alone, is that enough for you?" Severus' chest was heaving after his speech. Dumbledore looked up at him with sad, old eyes, not twinkling, but shining with tears.

"Yes, Severus, it is more than enough. Forgive me, I did not mean to push you." He rose slowly, as if his age actually affected his body already, and placed one hand again on Severus' shaking shoulder. "I am afraid I cannot remove the device yet, Severus. There is much to be researched first. Promise me not to use it again, though. You must resist it." Severus could only nod, feeling raw and empty inside. "Promise me," Dumbledore insisted.

"I swear I won't use it," Severus whispered.

"Good. I must go now and find a few answers… I am truly sorry. For everything." With one last squeeze Dumbledore walked to the door and left, not glancing back once. Severus stood for a moment, still as a statue, and then he sat heavily and buried his face in his hands.

xxx

Harry's head, currently pressed to the door, drew back in alarm when he realised Dumbledore was leaving. He turned and sprinted as soundlessly as he could up the steps. He was around the next landing by the time he heard the door open and shut. He didn't stop running until he was in his room and had flung himself on the bed.

_'Severus Snape is madly in love with me_,' was the only thought his mind seemed able to conjure.

-:-

Oh, another cliffy I guess. I can't seem to stop writing those. Sorry!

Note: I couldn't remember any more famous traitors and I didn't want to just invent wizard ones. I don't know how well known Quisling is outside Norway, but he is considered a traitor for working with Hitler in WW2.


	19. Chapter 19

Over 300 reviews!!! Wow! I'm so happy (does the happy-dance). I'm supposed to be reading, not to mention writing my essay due on Monday (which I haven't even started yet) but I'd much rather make sure you guys get the quick updates you have come to rely on! Don't you just love me?

Once again I'm sorry for the cliffy. I can't promise I won't do it again though. (smirk)

**Beware the slashy thoughts and sexual situation ahead! (No Harry/Sev quite yet I'm afraid) **

Note on Harry's reaction: I had real fun writing Harry and trying to follow a certain pattern… can you guess what it is? Answer at the bottom!

-:-

'_Severus Snape is madly in love with me…'_ Harry stared up at the ceiling, feeling glad that he was in fact lying down. Perhaps he should pass out? Maybe the world would right itself as he slept?

Wait. What was he thinking? Severus Snape, the man who had since the moment Harry set foot inside Hogwarts loathed the very core of him, was now apparently in love with him? No, no, no that didn't make any sense. It was ludicrous! Harry laughed out loud, sounding a little hysteric, and shook his head. It was absurd, preposterous, ridiculous and all other synonyms Harry couldn't think of at the moment. Not even magic could explain for something so altogether impossible-…

Magic. The Scios Totalus. Harry sat up in bed, frowning in thought. Snape had taken the Scios Totalus for himself and then used it on Harry. Slowly, an anger uncoiled inside him. He hadn't been this angry since his school days with Umbridge's detentions. How dare Snape spy on him! It was such a vile, despicable, _Slytherin_ thing to do Harry almost felt sick. He got up from the bed and started pacing. He wanted to punch something. So he did. It hurt like hell when his fist collided with the wall, but he didn't care. He wanted to punch it again and again. He would have preferred Snape. Snape who had _watched_ him and then… fallen in love…

Maybe he should talk to Snape? Ask him if he really meant it? Maybe Harry had misheard? It seemed inconceivable that Snape had inflicted a punishment only to fall in love with him, Harry, Gryffindor and son of James Potter. Maybe Snape was just confused? If Harry just talked to him maybe everything would be right again? Snape said he was obsessed, and that it would kill him… maybe that was all it was, an obsession, not real love? What was it he had seen with the Scios that could make him so obsessed-

_'Oh, God'_ Harry moaned inwardly, his head reeling. Snape had been spying since last year after the pensive incident! He had seen _everything_, perhaps even Harry's drawings? Oh, God, what if that was why Snape liked him? Did he think Harry was _in love_ with him too? No, no, no, he had said Harry wouldn't look at him. The thought did little to comfort Harry, who felt unsteady and sat down on the bed again. Snape had been acting odd around Harry ever since he showed up at the Dursleys. That's how he knew! Dumbledore didn't have any bloody wards that could detect anything less than a death threat. Snape had lied to him. He had seen Harry's whipping… and come to the rescue? Again, Harry felt little comfort. All he felt was this unbearable sadness that Snape had been watching him for so long and not said anything. And underneath it all Harry felt a sharp stab of guilt. _'I looked first'_ he thought, thinking of the memory in the pensive.

So in a way he had deserved it, but it had not gone as Snape planned. It was clear that neither of them had told anyone else of what they had learned. And Snape had learned enough to fall in love with him. Harry took a moment to look at this statement again: Snape had watched him and fallen for him. The thought now seemed stuck in Harry's head. The man knew him, probably better than anyone else. Harry blinked. Yes, of course, that was how Snape always knew what to say, what to do, to comfort or calm him. Snape knew and acted on that knowledge, and loved him, Harry, son of James Potter! Gryffindor extraordinaire! Slowly, the thought became accepted and with that acceptance came a strange, unfamiliar warmth in the pit of Harry's belly. Someone _knew_ him and loved him, in a romantic sense.

Harry took a deep breath, feeling guilty for taking pleasure from Snape's feelings when Harry wasn't feeling any of them in return. He just couldn't. Snape might know him, but Harry sure as hell didn't know Snape, not in that way.

What should he do now? Should he confront Snape? The idea had very little appeal. There was nothing to say. Harry wasn't angry anymore. He wasn't anything really, apart from that little warm feeling deep inside him. Should he go to Dumbledore? What good would that do? The Headmaster would remove the device eventually, and Snape had promised not to use it.

But what if the man failed to resist? Harry felt a little queasy again as he thought of Snape watching him. God, what if he had seen him wank! To drawings of Snape! Harry groaned and buried his head in his pillow, his face red with mortification.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Sirius' head popped into the room. "Molly is staying to make dinner. Arthur and Remus are joining us."

"Great," Harry muttered into his pillow.

"Harry?" Sirius came into the room and sat down beside Harry, one hand coming up to rest on Harry's back. "Are you worried about Draco?" Harry shook his head into his pillow. Sirius frowned in thought. "About Voldemort attacking, then?" Another shake and Sirius huffed. "Are you going to tell me or do you like to play guessing games?" Harry slowly shifted around so that he was seated and facing his godfather.

"Sirius, can I ask you a hypothetical question that doesn't have anything to do with me?" Now, it may be said that Sirius was a reckless Gryffindor, but contrary to popular belief he wasn't a stupid Gryffindor. The older wizard nodded, trying to keep his face neutral and believing.

"Of course you can, Harry. You can ask me anything." Harry took a deep breath.

"What if… someone is in love with you, but they never told you, and all you feel is… vague _attraction_… what do you do? Do you confront them or just pretend you don't know? Or do you try and see if you could…" Harry swallowed and looked a little put off by his thoughts. "like them back?" Sirius thought seriously (yes, he did that occasionally) before answering. In truth he wanted to go downstairs and get Remus.

"One can't force oneself to like someone Harry, but I would strongly advise against acting on yo- the attraction that the second person feels. If he or she is simply in lust and not in love, they would really hurt the other person if they act on it." Harry nodded in understanding.

"I wouldn't- I mean, I would never suggest it." Harry was blushing at his mistake and looking everywhere but at his godfather.

"Just let her down gently, Harry," Sirius said softly, causing the blush to deepen in colour.

"It's not me- I-…" he sighed, ducking his head. "I'm still not sure what to do."

"Well, how about I consult Moony for you? He's always better with sensitive stuff like this, and I promise not to tell it's about you. Spare you any more embarrassing conversations. How's that?" Harry smiled in relief and Sirius couldn't help but feel like a good godfather.

"Thanks, Sirius. I'd really appreciate it."

"No problem. Dinner is in twenty minutes." Sirius rose and ruffled Harry's hair once before exiting the room. He strolled casually down the stairs, wondering if Remus was in the drawing room. He decided to check the library first in case so he didn't have to go up again. Sure enough, inside the small, but extensive library, sat his mate in the largest chair by the window. The werewolf looked up the moment Sirius entered and smiled.

"I just had to read the passage before dinner. Besides, apparently only Arthur is allowed to help in the kitchen. I suspect they wanted a moment alone after the meeting." Sirius had by now come into the room and was gazing down at Remus, a wistful expression on his face the other wizard wasn't noticing right away. "I can't imagine how they felt when Malfoy walked into the room."

"Hmmm," Sirius murmured, one hand coming up to card distractedly through the short brown hair. Remus looked, a bemused expression on his face.

"Something on your mind?" he asked, smiling fondly when Sirius scratched behind his ear. Sirius didn't answer for a long moment, simply studying Remus' face.

"Why do you love me?" Sirius asked, the question popping out of his mouth before it even popped into his head. Remus' smile grew, a small chuckle escaping him.

xxx

(Note: Yes, this is perhaps unoriginal, but I couldn't help myself. Poor Harry, he should have learned by now!)

After Sirius left Harry got up and rummaged through the books he was currently reading to find a distraction. It turned out all the books were actually finished and he grabbed a few he knew he wouldn't bother re-reading before heading to the library to find more. He liked reading extra material and as far as he was concerned he needed all the help he could get.

As he neared the library he noticed the door was half open and he could hear voices. He almost dropped his books when he realised that Sirius could very well be asking Remus for advice at that moment. Harry unconsciously quieted his movements and came to stand just outside, peeking in through the gap. He saw Remus sitting in the chair he usually occupied while at Grimmauld Place, and Sirius standing beside him, carding his fingers through the other man's hair of all things!

"Why do you love me?" Sirius suddenly asked. Harry's eyebrows rose to his hairline and he almost made a loud exclamation, but bit his tongue to keep quiet. Remus, far from being shocked at the question, merely smiled wider.

"I don't know," he said, cocking his head to the side as if considering. "I guess it can only be your gorgeous looks. Merlin knows, your personality leaves much to be desired." Harry was sure now that his hearing or sight was being affected by something. This could not be his godfather and unofficially adoptive godfather, but Sirius' bark-like laugh confirmed their identities without a doubt.

"In case you haven't noticed, Moony-mine, my looks leave much to be desired lately too." He was perhaps right, if you compared him to before from a strictly objective point-of-view. Azkaban still left its mark on the man and he would never be as strong, emotionally, mentally or physically, as he would have been without those years in prison, but Harry could easily see that his godfather was a very attractive man. Anyone could, so long as they weren't blind, and even then they could probably feel it given the chance.

"Please, don't disparage yourself in my presence," Remus half-growled, half-murmured, the effect strangely erotic. "Or I might have to bite you." If Sirius' feral grin was anything to go by, this was hardly an effective threat. Harry couldn't feel or think anything as his godfather promptly sat down in Remus' lap, his feet hanging off the armrest of the chair, and his own arms pulling at Remus' neck. The other wizard resisted, however.

"Sirius," he hissed, eyes darting to the door and Harry instinctively drew back. "Anyone could come in."

"Harry is upstairs, brooding about his love-life like a normal teenager for a change, which I have to talk to you about by the way, and the Weasleys are busy making us a fantastic dinner. Are you really going to deny me one kiss?" Remus arms were now around Sirius' waist and Harry gulped as Sirius snuggled closer, causing the other man's breath to hitch and the feral grin to return.

"Your kisses have a tendency to lead to more," Remus murmured even as he leaned in. "Much more." Their lips sealed together in a heated embrace, tongues coming in to play immediately. Harry squeaked rather unmanly and dropped his books. The crash caused both men to spring apart like they had caught fire. Both were flushed and breathing a little harshly as they stood staring at the door. Harry considered running, but knew it would hardly help. He shuffled into the doorway, bending to pick up his books, trying to ignore the pair's eyes on him.

"Harry-" Sirius tried. Harry took his time in gathering the fallen books. It was fairly obvious what he was doing, and eventually he had them in his arms and stood up. He decided to just walk in and he did, going straight for the shelf were he had collected the books and started putting them back, again taking an inordinate amount of time. In the mean time, his mind was racing.

Remus and Sirius, together. The thought had not occurred to him before, mainly because he thought most wizards didn't approve of something like that, and therefore just… weren't gay. The idea was stupid of course. Snape was obviously gay. He swallowed. Bad thought. Not good. He didn't want to think of Snape actually fucking- Bad thought! Remus and Sirius together! It was… really nice actually. In fact it was more than nice. Harry put the last book away, his hand lingering on it as he thought about the three of them together. It was almost like a family, kind of. Harry clung to the idea immediately and turned around, a smile on his lips.

"Harry?" Sirius tried again. The men hadn't moved from their positions and stood gazing warily at him, as if afraid he would explode.

"It's okay, Sirius, Remus. I'm really happy for you. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me." Two pairs of shoulders slumped slightly in relief.

"We're sorry," Sirius began guiltily. He looked to Remus for help.

"We just didn't know what kind of view on homosexuals the Dursleys might have imprinted on you. Or if you had taken on the typical wizarding view on the subject."

"Oh…" Harry couldn't help the blush that stole across his cheeks. Could he tell them? The need to was suddenly burning him. Hermione and Draco knowing wasn't nearly enough. If Sirius and Remus knew and actually _were_ gay Harry could get some serious questions answered. It was almost too good to be true. He still couldn't help ducking his head as he confessed. "Actually… I'm… gay too." Both Marauders blinked. Harry looked at them through his lashes.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked, his tone gentle. Harry nodded.

"Yeah. There's pretty much no doubt. That's okay with you, right?"

"Of course, Harry," Remus said immediately, coming over quickly and embracing Harry in a hug. The moment he was released he was pulled into another one with Sirius. He clutched both of them fiercely, feeling an acceptance he hadn't known existed. "Perhaps we should sit down?" Remus suggested when the other two parted. They all sat down on the couch in front of the small fireplace. Harry in the middle and feeling so _safe_ he didn't know what to do with himself. He smiled and they smiled back, fondly and lovingly. They each had and arm over his shoulders.

"How long have you known?" Remus asked.

"About two years, give or take." Harry ducked his head again. "That's why I was expelled."

"What!?" Sirius exclaimed as Remus looked alarmed.

"The other Gryffindor boys told Umbridge after they found a… drawing."

"Why those-"

"Sirius," Remus cut the man off and he quieted at once. Remus looked at Harry worriedly. "Ron too?" Harry nodded, feeling very emotional suddenly. "Oh, Harry, we're so sorry. I'm sure he regretted it, before the end. He came after you." Harry wasn't going to tell them his theory on Ron's actions that night, so he just nodded. They hugged him to them.

"What about the question you asked me?" Sirius suddenly said. "About the girl-"

"I never said it was a girl."

"What was the question?" Remus enquired. Harry blushed predictably, but Sirius saved him from speaking.

"A boy is in love with him, but Harry only feels attraction and doesn't know what to do. The boy doesn't know that Harry knows." Harry couldn't help gazing at Remus a little imploringly for the man's wisdom. Remus looked thoughtful for a long moment.

"You don't think you could ever feel anything more for this person?" That was the big question, wasn't it? Could Harry _ever_ feel anything more than lust for Snape? Could he want Snape's company and not just his hands, his voice or his eyes?

"I don't know," Harry said.

"Think about it, but don't enter into a relationship without being sure you actually want to try. As for telling them, I think you should keep it to yourself for the time being. Just make sure they can't misinterpret anything you into you being interested in them. If they pursue you I think you should let them down gently, but you must be honest." Harry nodded slowly, taking it all in. He would need to do some serious thinking. "Is there any chance that you can tell us who it is? It might be easier to give advice if you knew the person's personality."

"No, I- It's complicated," Harry stuttered. Remus patted him on the shoulder.

"That's fine, Harry, you don't have to tell us anything." Just then a loud shout was heard from downstairs and Sirius grinned.

"Dinner!" he said and rose quickly. Remus rolled his eyes when Sirius stuck out his hand and pulled the other man to his feet. Harry was next and they all went down together.

xxx

After Molly and Arthur left Remus, Sirius and Harry spent the day together. They did things they were familiar with, but the new knowledge between them changed everything. Harry hardly let himself think of Snape at all as he was too happy with just playing games with his the two people he now considered his parental figures.

Sirius and Remus were having the best kind of day as well, and they revelled in being able to simply show affection in front of someone they both loved like a son. It was even better that Harry just smiled fondly or grinned at them when they acted like a couple. Sirius even dared to kiss Remus before the day was done, simply because he could, and though Harry had blushed just a little he still smiled and didn't look uncomfortable at all.

That night Sirius, having truly found his 'inner fatherly instincts' decided to have a little chat with Harry before bed. Remus had given him a knowing look and an encouraging nod. Sirius was now sitting by Harry, who lay smiling on his bed. It was a little odd, practically getting tucked in at his age, but perhaps it was more odd because he had never in his life been tucked in before. Of course, Sirius didn't physically tuck the almost-man in.

"So, Harry, you still don't want to tell who has a crush on you?" Sirius asked as Harry pulled the duvet up and snuggled into bed.

"I can't," Harry sighed. Sirius nodded, not about to push.

"You know you can ask me anything, right? Even about sex." Harry blushed, and didn't quite meet his godfather's eyes. Sirius himself was not blushing at all. He had always been one to talk openly about such things to everybody, with a few exceptions of course.

"I know… the mechanics… and I've tried it on myself because I didn't see how that could be good, but… yeah." Sirius tried not to smile at his godson's innocence.

"Well, you just ask if you want to know any details. I don't suppose you'll get the chance to experiment with anyone while you're here, but if you do meet someone before your seventeen, I would really appreciate it if you talked to me first. Sex is a big step. Of course, you can still talk to me even when you're all grown up." Harry nodded, agreeing completely. Fantasies and drawings were one thing, but actually doing it was quite another. Sirius' words made the warmth inside him grow. This man cared for him enough to sit down and explain things. The Dursleys would have sooner murdered Harry in his bed then do that. He supposed he should feel a little young, being talked to in such a fashion, but in Harry's mind they were just making up for lost time. He endured it quite willingly.

"Sirius?"

"Yes?"

"What about relationships?" Harry asked, his words a little unsure as he didn't know how to phrase them.

"What about them?"

"I mean… with you and Remus… is one-…" Harry struggled with his words, but Sirius thought he could guess what the boy meant.

"The girl?" Harry nodded tightly once, unsure if he had offended. Sirius chuckled. "All relationships are different, Harry, but just because there are two men involved does _not_ mean one has to be the girl."

"But what about if, say, one was older than the other? Wouldn't it be expected that the younger one… was in the girl position?" Sirius frowned at the question, more because of the things it implied. Was the person who was interested in Harry older?

"Like I said, everybody is different, but age shouldn't be what defines a relationship. And being on the bottom doesn't mean you're the girl either, got that?" Harry nodded again, looking a little relieved.

"Thanks, Sirius. You're really good at this stuff." Sirius beamed down at his godson, more pleased than words could say at the compliment. Usually it was Remus who gave advice and wisdom, but Sirius was very glad he had decided to talk to Harry. "'Night, Sirius."

"Goodnight, Harry."

Once Sirius had left Harry's thoughts turned inevitably to Snape. He had no experience with relationships at all, and was very grateful for Sirius' words. He couldn't really imagine Snape treating him like a girl, or Harry always being on the _bottom_, as Sirius had said. The thought of Snape underneath him caused him to harden so quickly he gasped. It wasn't right, he thought, thinking about Snape that way with what he knew, but the images came nonetheless. Harry knew he was going to get a cramp in his hand by tomorrow, both from drawing new images and… other activities. If he ever did have a relationship (with Snape or someone else, provided he lived) could he be the one to grab and take? Like he had seen guys do at school. At the same time, he didn't want Snape (or anyone! His mind insisted) not to take right back, just as aggressively.

Harry's hand fluttered down into his pyjama bottoms of their own accord, and he started with slow strokes like he preferred, a new image coming to mind: him and Snape, battling for dominance and neither knowing who would win in the end, but neither really caring who did and who didn't because it would be perfect either way. He saw himself being sucked off by Severus, that sinfully wicked mouth working on him and came before he even realised he had been frantically pulling at his prick. He came with a soft cry and lay panting for a moment, catching his breath and his thoughts.

Harry groaned when he realised what he had done. He felt so guilty for some reason, but he couldn't stop. Luckily he was spent for now and tried to fall asleep before he recovered.

xxx

Upstairs in the master bedroom Sirius crawled into bed to snuggle up to his lover. Remus breathed in his smell and leaned in. They kissed long and gently.

"I think whoever is in love with Harry is an older man," Sirius said when they broke apart. Remus nodded thoughtfully.

"I think so too."

"You do? How did you come to that conclusion?" Sirius asked.

"Harry been here almost a year now, and this issue seems new. He's only been in contact with Hermione and Draco. Either he's writing more letters than we realise or it's someone in the Order. Maybe one of the Weasley twins, at least I'm hoping it's one of them."

"Oh, shit," Sirius whispered. His mind ran through the list of members who had been in the house since Harry's arrival.

"A little age-difference is hardly the end of the world," Remus said mildly.

"It's not _that_," Sirius said, shaking his head and laying down on his back, staring up at the dark canopy. "What if it's someone like _Mundungus_ and he's not sincere?" Sirius shivered in disgust. "Harry could get hurt." Remus frowned in thought for a long moment. In the end he put aside the book he had been reading and extinguished the lights with a flick of his wand. He drew Sirius towards him and they spooned together.

"I know Harry doesn't know much when it comes to these kinds of things, but he's here twenty-four hours a day. I'm sure nothing bad will happen. Harry's a smart kid."

"Not a kid anymore," Sirius murmured. "He'll be seventeen soon, a man." Remus smiled at the thought. "I missed out so much." He tightened his arms around his lover and nuzzled into the soft hair.

"You're here now. Let's not waste a moment. Hmmm?" Sirius wholeheartedly agreed.

xxx

Harry had barely slept that night, brooding over what to do, over his own feelings towards the Potions Master. He decided he definitely wanted to see the man again, if for nothing else than to see if he could actually read the man's feelings towards him. He also wanted to have a word with Dumbledore, about what he wasn't sure, but he needed a second opinion on Snape, and that could not come from Sirius or Remus since he wasn't about to be _that_ obvious. He was just contemplating how to go about meeting these two people, when one part of the problem solved itself by Hedwig arriving with a letter.

_Harry_

_I need to speak with you. Please come to my office at 4 o'clock. The floo will be open. _

_Sincerely _

_Albus Dumbledore. _

_Ps: Nothing bad has happened. _

Harry appreciated the postscript, for he surely would have worried all day if it hadn't been there. With it, however, he was able to enjoy another day with Sirius and Remus, who had yet to leave for his next assignment.

-:-

So… not _exactly_ a cliffy, but I just couldn't resist putting in the last little scene. I'm sure you are all getting really exasperated with me now, hmmm? Sorry. I'm on a roll!

Note: I believe an anonymous reviewer pointed out once that they didn't like writers always assuming Harry bottoms (I believe it was svetique) and this is my way of letting us have a little of both. I love top! and bottom!Harry, and I usually just write the one I feel goes best with the story. I also don't think bottoming makes that character less manly (though a feminisation can and usually does occur in many fics), so I don't see Harry's fantasies in that light, but in that I think we will have to agree to disagree.

Hope you like Harry's new fantasies and where they might lead him. I have this really nice scene planned out in a future chapter that will allow Harry to live some of his fantasies… just a little teaser for you all! ;-) Still a little way off I'm afraid.

Note on Harry's reaction: I tried modelling his reaction on the Five Stages of Grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I thought it rather fitting (smirk). Did any of you notice?


	20. Chapter 20

Oh, I'm so bad! I should be reading, writing essay and generally not writing fanfiction! But I can't help myself. Every time I read your reviews I just grin like a loon and my fingers start itching to give you more!!

Thank you all once again for the fabulous reviews!

Note to svetique:

I completely understand your preference for Top!Harry. Personally I go from one extreme to the other practically every day. Sometimes I just can't wait to read some good bottom!Harry, and other days, like today after reading your review, I find myself thinking the exact opposite. So, this fic will definitely try to switch the roles somewhat. That survey you mentioned really got me thinking. I assumed a lot of couples switched, but I had no idea the percentage was so high.

As for Tira Nog's fiction, I absolutely love it! I think it is a must for all Snarry readers and I also love the fact that, as you said, Severus still manages to be himself even if he prefers bottoming. I know I won't be able to come close to her brilliance (I think I've read her stories ten times at least) but I will try to keep them in-character while exploring their sexual roles.

As for Harry's blushes and squeaks: He's still a little inexperienced with anything in the real world when it comes to relationships. But with Sirius' talks and Remus' guidance I'm sure he'll grow up fast. ;-)

Sorry for the long note! Here's what you're all here for!

-:-

At 4 o'clock Harry said goodbye to Sirius and Remus in the kitchen before flooing directly to the Headmaster's office. He tumbled out of the fireplace as usual, scrambling to his feet, a little embarrassed. Luckily, since Grimmauld Place was only connected to Hogwarts and a few other Order locations, the trip wasn't too nauseating.

"Harry, there you are! Have a seat. Some tea? Lemon drop?" Harry sat down in front of the large desk and thanked Dumbledore for the tea, but declined the sweets. The old wizard's eyes were warm, with an underlying hint of something Harry could not identify. The twinkle wasn't exactly there, but something else was sparkling behind those spectacles.

"What's this about, sir?" Harry asked when Dumbledore didn't immediately start his usual small talk.

"Well, in a word? This." The Headmaster reached into his robes and brought out the crescent-shaped Scios Totalus Lucius Malfoy has stolen. He put it on the desk between them. Harry stared at it for a long moment, wondering if the device Snape had on him looked similar. And where was it? Harry didn't understand how such a device would work.

"Harry?" the voice caused Harry's head to snap up. He had been completely lost in his thoughts about Snape watching him. When his eyes were caught by Dumbledore's intense blue orbs Harry felt like his soul had been rummaged through in a matter of moments. Dumbledore's eyes went wide for a moment, and then the twinkle appeared. Harry broke away from the gaze and focused on the device again, hoping the man hadn't really read his thoughts. "I believe this old artefact will reveal the key to stopping Voldemort for good," Dumbledore continued in a serious tone.

"Didn't you say we needed both?" Harry asked, looking up again with a confused gaze.

"That is correct, and the other device is being located as we speak." Harry almost snorted out loud, or cursed. He wasn't sure if he wanted to scream or laugh. The other Scios was in the castle, and Dumbledore knew, but wasn't going to tell Harry. Yes, screaming would have been better, but Harry kept silent. "Until then, however, I want you to try and use this one."

"What? Why?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"You need to understand how it works since I suspect you will be the one to use the combined Scios Totalus when the time comes." _'Great,' _Harry thought. _'Just what I need. Spending my time watching someone and getting obsessed like Snape!'_ He couldn't protest of course, because he wasn't supposed to know that the thing could make you obsessed. If Dumbledore wasn't going to tell him, then he certainly wasn't going to tell Dumbledore.

"How do I activate it? And who do I spy on?" Harry asked resignedly. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled madly for a moment, and Harry tensed, wondering, hoping it was not so-

"I was thinking about Professor Snape, actually." _'Fuck.'_

"Why on earth should I spy on Snape!?" Harry exclaimed, thinking it perfectly reasonable to do so.

"Professor Snape, Harry," Dumbledore chided gently. Harry just stared at the man like he had finally proven his insanity. "He's in the castle at all times and doesn't go out on Order assignments."

"Why is that important?"

"It's just a precaution in case Voldemort decides to use your connection again. Right now, he doesn't trust it after his failed attempt to get you to the Ministry. He fears you learning something from him more than his desire to learn something from you. Severus the ideal target."

"But-… but isn't that unethical?" Harry tried. "I can't just spy on my former professor like that!" _'Not that any moral scruples stopped him for a second,'_ Harry thought grumpily.

"It's for the cause, Harry. Severus will understand. Now, I'm going to explain how you attach it…" Dumbledore explained in detail how the spells worked and how he had to attach the device to Snape's person. It wasn't until Dumbledore was almost finished that something occurred to Harry.

"Wait. Are you saying I have to actually get close to Snape- Professor Snape, I mean, for this ting to work?" Dumbledore only nodded and Harry groaned. "I can't! The man was a spy for years! He'll notice!"

"I'm sure you can find a way to distract him while you place it," Dumbledore replied mildly, but with a twinkle that made Harry blush suddenly. The man couldn't possibly be suggesting- "Why don't you go downstairs and request some duelling lessons? I think you could benefit from trying to fight another opponent. Don't worry, I have already spoken to Professor Snape and he has agreed. He is down in his Potions Lab as we speak. I will tell one of the portraits to escort you down." Before Harry had time to protest further, or even think about it, he was being practically pushed out the door, the Scios stuffed into his hand.

Harry stared at the gargoyle for a long moment, before focusing on the magical artefact in his hand. How the hell was he supposed to do this? Obviously he wasn't going to get out of it. Dumbledore seemed pretty determined. So Harry put the device in his pocket and started walking in the direction of the dungeons…

"Come on, follow me!" Harry looked up and saw one of the old Headmasters moving from frame to frame. Harry followed, hardly looking where he was going. There weren't many students in the hallways, and Harry made sure to duck away behind suits of armour and such. He didn't want anyone to know he was here. All too soon he was standing outside a door in the deepest bowls of the dungeons, well underneath the lake. Harry mumbled his thanks when the portrait figure said goodbye. He gazed at the door, noting its snake-like carvings all over. There was no mistaking which Head of House lived here. Harry put a hand in his pocket and felt the Scios. Taking a deep breath, he knocked.

Two seconds later and the door was pulled open and a glaring Head of Slytherin filled the space. Harry wondered if he had shrunk on his way down because Snape seemed taller than before (Harry had prided himself on growing this year and actually starting to look like a sixteen-year-old). The man's face changed from surprised, to soft, almost blank, before going back to glaring.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" he snapped. Harry reared back as if he had been struck. Snape had not spoken to him like that since the pensive incident. Snape seemed to react almost in the same way to his own words. He stepped back. "Come in." Harry hesitatingly stepped into the room. He glanced around as Snape closed the door behind him. It was decorated in surprisingly light colours, with a dark leather sofa and chair, both looking very comfortable and expensive, in front of a fireplace. The walls had several bookcases and at the other side of the room, in a somewhat large stone alcove, stood a nice dining table with chairs. There were three doors apart from the entrance door, all with carvings but none as intricate as the first. There was very little green, Harry noted.

"I assume you are here to discuss your lessons," Snape murmured as he swept past Harry. "I am not in the habit of entertaining," he said a little louder. "But I think I can manage to produce some tea." He tapped the table with his wand and a moment later a tray of tea and biscuits appeared. When Snape looked up Harry was still standing by the door. "Well? Sit down, Potter." Harry was jolted into action at the harsh tone. Snape sat down on the sofa Harry moved to sit right beside him. Snape cast him a glare, but Harry pretended he didn't notice. Soon he had another cup of tea in his hands. He considered reaching for a biscuit as he was rather hungry, but he didn't want Snape to sneer at him. The man looked like he was having a bad day.

"So, how much has that mutt of yours taught you? I'm surprised he remembers any spells at all," Snape remarked snidely and Harry's blood went to boil immediately. He sat his cup down, a little harder than necessary, and glared at Snape.

"What's your problem? I thought we were past this?" Snape, to Harry's irritation and dismay, sneered.

"What, exactly, are we supposed to have moved past, Potter? I have no problem whatsoever. It's not my fault your _dog_father has gone a bit off." Harry leapt to his feet, his fists clenched. This man couldn't be the same man that had helped him in a time of need, had provided a way for Harry to remove the scars from his childhood. How could this man tell Dumbledore he loved Harry when he was still being a total git!

"We were getting along just fine last time I checked!" Harry yelled. "But obviously something has crawled up your arse and died since then!" Harry usually never used such horrid words, but living with Sirius for almost a year… well, enough said. Snape rose swiftly, the better to tower over Harry no doubt. His glare was murderous.

"I may not be your professor anymore, _Potter_, but you will not speak that way to me! I am not above hexing you to the Antarctic!" God, Harry couldn't stand it! The way Snape spat his name again, as if everything that had happened was just a dream… a nice dream, Harry realised. He could learn so much from this man if Snape would only stop it!

"Why are you doing this!?" Harry cried, almost pleading. "Why can't you just be like before? I actually _liked_ you when you weren't insulting me every other second!" Harry suddenly became conscious of the fact that they were standing really close. He didn't want to move away though, and instead moved closer still, keeping his glare at the glowering Potions Master. "I need you to teach me. Sirius has taught me everything he knows, so I suspect I can give you a fight, but you're better, I know. You know how Death Eaters fight, and I need to know too." Harry didn't know where the words were coming from, but he knew they were true the moment he said them. Snape seemed to be breathing harder and Harry, suppressing the feeling of guilt welling up inside him, moved even closer, their chests almost touching.

"Potter-" Snape stopped short when Harry placed a hand on his chest. Harry felt the firm muscle underneath, far from bony as he had thought it would be, though in his drawings he always took a bit of artistic licence. Feeling like the most rotten person in the world he gazed into the black eyes, theirs faces so close it was scary, and not a little exciting. Snape seemed spellbound, as Harry had hoped he would be.

"Please, let's just work together and act like civil human beings?" Harry whispered, his other hand already grasping the Scios and moving it up behind Snape. He let go when the device reached the man's shoulder and surreptitiously let the now empty hand glide down across Snape's collar and chest to meet the other. He could feel the man's heartbeat, it was racing, and Harry's own heart seemed eager to find the same rhythm suddenly. Out of the corner of Harry's eye he saw the device fluttering above Snape's head for a moment, and then disappearing when it had found its target. Harry felt so utterly disgusting that he stepped back abruptly, unable to meet the man's eyes anymore. Snape blinked a few times before he seemed to come to his senses.

"Very well. I will come to Grimmauld Place on Saturday, early. Now, if you'll excuse me." Snape didn't wait for Harry to reply, but turned and stormed out of the room to what was presumably his bedroom. Harry, feeling like he was now the total git, walked quietly out of the room. How could he have taken advantage of Snape's feelings like that? On the other hand, seeing how the man of his fantasies had reacted to his light touch had done strange things to Harry. He tried not to think about any of it. Upon reaching the Headmaster's office again Dumbledore enquired about how it went.

"I activated the Scios," Harry said, not sounding very enthusiastic.

"Splendid," Dumbledore replied with a smile. "Now I suggest you use it whenever you feel the need. Just to get a feel for how the device works." Harry was ushered towards the fireplace, and although Harry had many questions and some serious doubts, he just took the floopowder and went home.

xxx

Severus let out a cry of ecstasy and spurted copiously into his hand. He lay breathing hard on his bed, his softening prick in his hand. He hadn't felt so needy since his school days. That brat, _Harry_, had practically _caressed _him, lovingly almost. It had been far too much for Severus. He had left the room in a hurry, lest Harry discover his bodily reaction to the closeness.

And then there was what Harry had said. He had _liked_ Severus when he wasn't insulting him. How could that be possible? He had stood so close, _touched_ him, without a glimmer of disgust in his bright eyes. There had been nothing but pleading in the green orbs. Severus wished desperately he could take back every hateful word he had said from the moment Harry had entered his quarters.

In truth it really wasn't Severus' fault! He had been in a horrible mood ever since he had promised Dumbledore he wouldn't use the Scios Totalus (and it had only been two days!). He was keeping his word, but at a price. He felt irritable and constantly longing for Harry. And when the boy had showed up at his door, he had immediately decided that he could not risk letting Harry find out. So he put on his old evil Potions Master mask just to get through the ordeal. That had failed spectacularly when Harry had _touched_ him. Severus had been _literally _inches away from kissing the boy.

And now he was going to duel Harry on Saturday. If Black had really taught the boy everything he knew then Severus knew he was in for a good fight. Black was one of the best Aurors in his year, if not the best. The biggest problem, however, was not Harry's skill, but how Severus would react if he really hurt the boy. Could he just stand by and sneer while the mutt tended to him? He hoped so… and a part of him hoped not.

(I strongly debated ending it here, but I thought you might kill me if I did.)

xxx

Harry sat on his bed, having just nervously re-checked the wards that would tell him if anyone was coming close to his door. He had excused himself early from dinner. He hadn't felt this nervous since he last met Voldemort, though this time he wasn't nearly as scared, just _itching_ to try it out. See what all the fuss was about, perhaps?

He waved his wand over the sheets in front of him. Instantly Snape came into view in a sort of hole Harry could look through. The man was seated at his desk, scribbling away in red ink, no doubt grading the papers of some unfortunate student. Harry could see by the tense way the man held himself that he was irritated. The scowl upon his face seemed a permanent fixture. Harry tried to push the desire to see the man smile away, waving his wand again so he could hear.

_'Your arguments are completely nonsensical,'_ Snape's mental voice invaded Harry's mind. As Harry listened Snape's comments got increasingly worse and more scratching. Harry tried to feel bad and indignant on the students' behalf, but some of the things Snape thought up were actually quite funny. Now that Harry was sticking mostly to theory, and only the occasional lesson with Remus on brewing, he knew most of what the students should have been writing about, _should_ being the key word. Harry felt sorry they had such a teacher, actually, because Snape really didn't know a thing about making a student try harder.

Finally Snape left one last insult at the bottom, followed by a large 'T' for Troll. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed tiredly at his eyes and Harry was immediately fascinated, leaning forwards to gaze into the magic window. He had never seen Snape so open before, or looking obviously tired. Snape sighed deeply.

_'I can't do anymore tonight. Luckily Easter is just a few days away…. On Monday… the Monday after this Saturday, when I will once more step into that unpleasant house to duel with Harry…'_ Hearing his name in an almost fond tone made Harry's heart beat a little faster, though he couldn't understand why it would do that. Snape gazed over at the fireplace, his eyes not really seeing the flames. _'What if I am exposed? Can I take such a risk? Perhaps it would be easier if I simply told Albus- What am I thinking?! The man won't take no for an answer. Merlin, save me, I need a drink.'_ Snape got up from his chair and strode purposefully across the room and out a door leading to his living room. He found a glass and a bottle of something alcoholic and sat down on the sofa. He sighed again when he finally took a healthy sip from his drink. Harry continued to watch, marvelling at how soft the lines on the man's face were now that he was relaxed.

_'How much can one man regret without going insane, or suicidal?'_ Snape suddenly mused, causing Harry to frown. _'If only- but no, there is no point. Besides, how can I regret loving Harry? Harry… who deserves nothing but love. Oh, for Salazar's sake! Listen you yourself old man! You sound more like a Hufflepuff everyday!'_ Harry snickered at the pinched look on Snape's face, but couldn't help but feel warmed by the man's thoughts. There wasn't anymore doubt: he truly loved Harry. Someone loved Harry Potter. What a novel idea!

_'Old man… yes. Old, ugly and alone.'_ Snape got a disgusted look on his face and downed the rest of his drink. Harry realised Snape was disgusted with himself for his little moment of self-pity. Clearly that was a Hufflepuff trait as well. Snape's thoughts drifted to other things, like the spells he would remember to fire at Harry on Saturday. Harry felt a little guilty, since hearing them meant he would technically be cheating, but he figured something good should come out of his spying. Eventually Snape got up and retired to his bedroom. Harry thought it was a little early. Until he realised Snape was going into the bathroom.

He froze. Should he watch? He couldn't know if Snape had watched him _all _the time. But as Harry remained indecisive, Snape was already tearing off his robe, letting it glide down his back and pool around his feet. Harry couldn't help but stare. The chest wasn't bony, or very well muscled, but somewhere in-between. The word _lean_ instantly sprang to Harry's mind. There were a few old scars, but nothing like Harry's previous disfigurement. The skin was pale, with the only dark, very dark, hair going from navel down into black boxers. Boxers that were currently being removed in one swift motion.

Harry gulped. His eyes seemed glued to the cock hanging between Snape's legs. He felt his cheeks burn with arousal, shame and embarrassment. Harry had never actually seen a man's cock before. Sure he had seen the guys in the shower, but he had never looked properly in case he had a reaction, and they had been fifteen at the time. Snape must be well endowed, Harry concluded. It looked big to him at least.

Snape stepped into the shower as he turned on the spray, the water magically heated. Harry's mouth watered along with Snape's body and he felt himself harden slightly. Then, to his horror and delight, Snape's hand reached down as he turned his face up into the spray. The cock hardened in his firm grasp and Harry groaned along with him, feeling utterly mortified at what he was doing, but unable to stop. This had to be the most despicable thing he had ever done, but that didn't seem to stop him from rubbing himself through his jeans.

Snape stroked himself, tilting his head this way and that to let the water massage his neck and back. His thoughts, which Harry had barely heard until now, rang with only one word: _'Harry… oh, Harry…'_ Hearing his name whispered with passion and lust like that made Harry scramble to get his pants off. Once bare from the waist down he sat down again and started matching Snape's pace. This was so incredibly _naughty_ that Harry's skin burned like Gryffindor red.

He finished long before Snape, spurting onto his sheets, through the window to Snape so that it actually looked like he had come _on_ Snape, though the semen went straight through. Harry panted as he watched Snape groan and come, the water washing away all evidence. Harry couldn't bear a moment more and quickly flicked his wand twice over his bed, ending both spells. He fell backwards and just stared up at the ceiling.

Snape was… damn. Everything in Harry's drawings and so much more. He would have to draw in the scars he could remember into all of his drawings. It would take a while, but Harry didn't care. He had always been fascinated with Snape, but the Scios Totalus gave him a direct link to his target. It was perhaps like giving an addict all the drugs he could use in a life-time. One thing was sure: Harry wasn't about to give up his addiction anytime soon.

-:-

There you go! Hope you enjoy, and look! No cliffy this time! I'll make sure the next chapter gets one, oki?

Ps: to all of you who suggested Dumbledore tell Harry to use it on Snape: you read my mind! XD


	21. Chapter 21

Once again I am floored by your response! Hey, do you think we can get it up to 400 reviews before this fic is over??? (Yes, another hint, and I admit I am ashamed of myself. I should just be thankful for the reviews I've already gotten! So please ignore me!)

I'm glad everybody seemed to enjoy the last chapter.

To Sparkly Spark: I realise that Harry would have seen _all_ of Draco when he drew the picture, and that Draco is probably… fully developed in that area. But I was making the distinction in Harry's mind. I think Harry would see Draco, his sixteen-year-old year-mate, a little differently than his 36-ish year old former professor. Hope that clears things up.

-:-

Harry felt both nervous and excited as he ate an early breakfast on Saturday morning. He tired to remember which curses Snape had thought to use, but the activities Harry had witnessed after that had made the memory rather vague. Sirius kept mumbling about being up too early, but Harry knew the man was just depressed because Remus had left yesterday to go on a mission. Harry missed him as well.

Not one second after Harry had stuffed the last bit of food in his mouth the floo flared and Snape swept into the kitchen. He gave a distasteful look at the pair and then went right the training room Harry and Sirius used. Harry wished Draco was there to duel with them at the same time, that had been fun, but he doubted Snape wanted to lift his wand against Sirius. Too high risk of killing the man outright no doubt.

Harry and Sirius followed quickly, the latter still grumbling. Harry debated with himself whether or not to activate the hearing part of the Scios, but decided against it since it would probably just distract him more than give him hints. Inside the room Snape stood ready, a sour look on his face, though Harry now knew it was simply to cover up nerves. The knowledge made Snape seem more human and Harry felt more confident because of it. He stepped forwards into position while Sirius walked along the wall, his eyes narrowed at Snape in warning. As Harry looked at Snape the insane thought popped into his head that the man should try muggle clothes. It would really suit him. He would probably look sexy, well, more sexy than he was now.

"Confringo!" Snape yelled suddenly and only thanks to Harry's excellent seeker reflexes did he manage to produce a feeble shield, which dissipated when the spell hit, luckily taking the spell with it.

"You could've warned me!" Harry yelled, but Snape was already brandishing his wand again and Harry ducked and rolled to get away from the purple blast.

"Death Eaters won't ask you if you're ready, Potter!" Snape shouted back between curses. Harry dodged and protected himself with magic, while trying to get a good shot in, but Snape was so quick Harry hardly had time to find out what he was casting and protect himself before the next one was coming. Most of the curses were cast non-verbally and that had always been one of Harry's weak spots. Still, Harry thought he was holding his own fairly well, considering. Certainly no other expelled student would have been able to duel their former professor, and probably not any of the current student population either. Harry doubted there was an Auror who could match the man in skill, and Harry was feeling the evidence up close. The only problem was he wasn't going to get the upper hand any time soon, that much was certain. Harry still had a lot to learn, and defeat was inevitable.

It was a blasting curse that got him in the end. Not nearly as powerful as the one Bellatrix had hit him with, but Snape was clearly holding back. Harry was slammed back into the wall pretty hard. He slumped to the floor, his vision going dark for a moment. Sirius was at his side the next instant, and Snape was towering over them both as Harry's godfather gently helped him sit up.

"That is a standard spell in duels, Potter, you should be able to defend against them in your sleep by now," he spat. Harry gazed up at the man as Sirius leapt to his feet and looked seconds away from throttling the man. Snape sneered down at him, but Harry could see it, see it clear as day now that he knew what to look for: Snape loved him and was worried he had hurt him.

"Shut up, Snivellus, Harry did great! You worked him too hard on the first duel and you didn't even start properly, you just jumped him!" Harry might have taken time to blush at Sirius' unintentional double-entendre, but he was too busy looking into Snape's eyes. They stared back, ignoring Sirius completely. Snape's mouth, however, decided to respond.

"He needs to be prepared, Black, the Dark Lord will not stop duelling just because Potter falls on his arse. I only gave Potter this courtesy since it's our first duel. Next time I expect you to get up." Harry heard the order in there, even if Snape's tone hadn't suggested it at all. He got to his legs, a little shakily, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the curse. Snape stepped back swiftly, as if afraid to be too close to Harry, which he probably was. Sirius glared at the man, but didn't retort. They all knew what Snape said was true.

"Again," Harry said firmly. He had been in Quiddith matches that had lasted much longer than this. He would tire out Snape, not the other way around.

They duelled again, Sirius walking the sidelines as if he was in dog form. Snape steadily increased the power behind his curses, and threw in a few nasty ones as well, but Harry used his physical training too, and if a shield wouldn't work, he would simply throw himself out of the way. In the end he was moving around Snape, while the Slytherin stood flicking his wand at him. It would have been comical if it hadn't been for the intense look on Snape's face. He seemed determined to get Harry.

"Protego!" Harry shouted. He was on his feet and hoped his shield would hold against whatever Snape had thrown. To his surprise and disbelief a ball, slightly larger than a snitch, shot out of Snape's wand and barrelled towards him. It passed his shield as if it was nonexistent and just before it hit Harry right in the face it exploded. Harry started coughing and squeezed his eyes shut against the cloud of burning red dust that surrounded his head. He barely registered his wand slipping from his fingers. A moment later and the red cloud was gone. Snape stood holding Harry's wand and Sirius scowled as he came towards Harry.

"You okay?" he asked, his face softening as he looked Harry over for injuries. Sirius didn't see how Snape's face twisted in what Harry abruptly recognised was jealousy. He resented Sirius for being allowed to show his concern for Harry.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What kind of a spell was that?" he asked Snape. The man strode over to them and handed Harry back his wand, saying in a voice that told Harry the man was trying not to sneer.

"You still need a lot of work on offensive techniques. I can't imagine how your other subjects are doing-"

"I've been keeping up to date on everything except History of Magic, Divination and Care of Magical Creatures," Harry informed him, feeling slightly guilty for the last one. Snape lost the battle with his sneer.

"Not exactly important subjects. It hardly matters. I am going to have to work with you during Easter break, and then on Saturdays till the end of term. I doubt you'll have improved much by then so we'll discuss our schedule for the summer at a later date. I'll be testing you in your other subjects, including Potions," Snape's voice was low and threatening and Harry made a mental note to read his sixth-year Potions book again. "I don't have more time now, though. I'll be back on Monday and we'll begin then." Without a goodbye or even a glance at Sirius the man stalked from the room. Sirius made a really awful comment under his breath, so bad in fact that Harry couldn't bear to acknowledge it. Only one thought was on Harry's mind: _'Snape wants to spend time with me so he's going to help me…'_ Harry felt both grateful and warmed, not to mention eager for the man's knowledge of the Dark Arts and other subjects. He wasn't looking forward to Potions class again, but he figured he'd survive.

"Harry?" Sirius' voice made the younger wizard's head snap up. "You sure you didn't hit your head?"

"I'm fine. I think I need a shower, though." Sirius nodded in understanding and Harry went upstairs, figuring he needed a _long_ shower above all else.

xxx

On Monday Snape came back and grilled Harry in everything a sixth-years were supposed to know. The man was relentless in his questioning, but Harry answered everything correctly and for half a second he thought he saw a glimmer of approval in Snape's eyes. When it was time for Potions Sirius gave up standing around and left. The kitchen was quickly transformed into a replica of the Potions classroom. The large table was filled to the brim with ingredients Snape had brought in a special magical suitcase. A large cauldron stood in the middle with a blue flame underneath. Harry stepped up to it with some trepidation when Snape gestured for him to do so. His face was actually slightly amused, which Harry thought really out of place for the situation.

"Relax, Mr. Potter. There will be no house points taken this time," Snape drawled as he stood beside Harry. Without warning, a wave of bitterness washed over him.

"That's because I'm not in a house," Harry mumbled, focusing on the cauldron.

"I understand you have had a few lessons with Lupin?" Snape asked, completely ignoring Harry's comment.

"Yeah, but I've read the book at least four times."

"Theory will only get you so far, Mr. Potter," Snape said calmly. He sounded almost like a normal professor, Harry thought bemusedly. "I have always found that the art of brewing potions lies in the hands." Harry watched as Snape's long fingers stretched out in front of him and took hold of a long sharp knife, much larger than the ones they used in class.

"In the hands?" Harry asked, his eyes locked on the other hand as Snape reached for an ingredient. Snape answered while he began to cut slowly.

"Indeed, the hands remember what the mind does not. How to prepare ingredients, how to stir and how to add the right amount becomes second nature. That it the mark of a Potions Master." Harry watched as Snape made perfect slices of whatever ingredient he was preparing, Harry didn't even know, or rather, wasn't paying attention to that. Potions Master, Harry had never really considered what that title meant. Was McGonagall a Transfigurations Master? Harry had never heard the term, and he knew Remus wasn't a Defence Against the Dark Arts Master. Snape was something special then, Harry concluded. The man was valuable to Voldemort for his skills. Potions, then, were an art separate from other forms of magic. Harry felt a new respect for Snape stir in the pit of his stomach. This man really was brilliant at everything he did. Harry felt humbled just standing beside him.

"Of course," Snape continued as he took his wand and added water to the cauldron, making it about half-full. He took another ingredient and started preparing it, hacking it until it was almost a fine powder. "I do not expect my students to reach anywhere close to that level. I merely demand they manage to find the focus that is required." The cauldron boiled suddenly, making Harry wonder what kind of flame that was. Snape effortlessly turned the heat down and added amounts of each ingredient he had prepared, stirring this way and that. Harry lost count. The potion turned blue, then purple, before landing on indigo. Reaching across the table Snape grabbed a ceramic bowl, which contained pepper-like seeds. He ground them a little and then added two pinches of it. The potion hissed and blew coloured smoke. Snape flicked it away with his wand even as he stirred.

"You may not think that Potions is a very useful subject in times of war," Snape commented as he took an ugly slimy worm from a bowl full of them. They were still wriggling and being contained in the bowl by magic no doubt. Harry felt familiar revulsion well up in him, but still managed to protest to Snape's assumption.

"I know Potions are useful, especially now, for healing and… stuff." Snape sliced the tubeworm open, making it ooze a thick green substance. They had used the stuff in class occasionally, but usually they put them in whole or they squished them with a pestle, thereby avoiding touching them. Snape didn't seem disturbed by the disgusting creature, though, he just continued to work even as he answered Harry.

"I'm glad to hear it, but I was referring to a combat situation. I imagine a Gryffindor has a hard time picturing someone taking the time to ingest a potion in the middle of battle." Harry shrugged, then realised Snape wouldn't have seen it. Another worm spilled its goo over Snape's fingers. Harry realised the man was digging into the worm to find something inside it. The fingers extracted the needed ingredient without hesitation, just as if Snape was picking out a sweet from a bowl full of them.

"Yeah, I guess I can't really see myself thinking of something like Potions in a fight." Harry cringed when the next tubeworm practically spurted its insides all over Snape's hands, but the man didn't flinch, just continued on. While he was doing this, Harry realised, he was also occasionally putting more of the pepper-like seeds in and stirring a few times before going back to the worms. How did the man know when to do everything? Again, Harry was amazed by the skill Snape possessed.

"What would you say then, if I told you the last spell I got you with yesterday wasn't a spell, but a potion?" Harry's eyebrows rose incredulously as Snape finally added the worm ingredient. He spelled away the rest of them and then focused on stirring for a while. He was clearing counting, so Harry wasn't sure if he should answer, but Snape had implied he should, so Harry did.

"You mean the ball that got through my shield?" Harry asked.

"Exactly. The reason it got through, by the way, was that it was dipped in another potion. Inside was dried dust from a potion that created the cloud. Both of my own invention." Harry was speechless. He couldn't imagine inventing anything magical, and was overwhelmed that Snape had done so and mentioned it so casually, like it wasn't anything special at all. Harry's attention was suddenly back on Snape's hands as the man took another ingredient. He was actually disappointed when it was flobberworms this time, used to thicken potions, he remembered. Snape held one by one over the cauldron and squeezed the mucus into the potions. He only used three, and the next ingredient was a bottle labelled Erumpent fluid so again Harry was disappointed, though he couldn't understand why. Snape added almost half the bottle, and Harry wondered how the man _knew_ when to stop pouring. He stirred at the same time, occasionally switching directions, still counting even while he continued to speak.

"Potions can be effective in combat because your opponent won't expect you to use them. Of course, they can be difficult and an encumbrance to use, since you must bring them with you, but in my view that is a small burden to bear compared to the advantages." Harry watched in disbelief as Snape stopped speaking, stopped counting stirs, stopped pouring the Erumpent fluid and flicked his wand at the flame. It went out and Snape picked up a ladle along with a round green bottle. The potion was now a deep black and Snape poured carefully, making the glass bottle black as well. He stopped it with a cork and then flicked away the rest of the potion in the cauldron. All that hard work, gone in a flash. Harry slowly raised his eyes from the cauldron and met the black eyes of Snape, matching the bottle in his hand perfectly.

"Wow," Harry breathed, utterly impressed. In fact he didn't think he had ever been impressed by any other wizard on the same level before. Snape was, in a word, brilliant. Snape quirked an eyebrow at him, clearly bemused. Harry felt a slight blush in his cheeks, but willed it away easily. "I've never seen anything like what you just did before," he said sincerely. Snape's face actually pinked a little at the praise and Harry felt an almost evil inclination to go on. "I never realised what being a Potion _Master_ meant before, but you clearly are one. I feel bad for every stupid thing I said about Potions now. You're… brilliant, actually." Harry suppressed a grin as Snape's face flushed. The man coughed and looked away.

"Enough of that, Potter," he said gruffly. "This," he said as he held out the round bottle. "Is Exploding Fluid. It you find yourself without your wand, throw this and you will incapacitate your opponent. I'm going to teach you how to brew it, along with other potions with similar uses." Harry took the bottle and studied it, turning it over in his hands. He looked up.

"Will you teach me the ball you used, with the red smoke? And teach me how to throw it through a shield?" Snape inclined his head.

"I will, but those potions are difficult. We will start with this one and work our way towards my own inventions. Do not be surprised if you never manage to brew those successfully." Snape didn't sound scratching when he said that, just matter-of-fact.

"Are all your potions extremely difficult?" Harry asked curiously.

"I do not bother to try and make them easy," Snape shrugged. "Many Potion Masters try to so they can go into common use and make them lots of money. I do not see the point in spending more time researching a potion than necessary." Harry smiled, thinking that that just typical Snape for you. Why would he bother making it easier for everybody else, after all? And he certainly didn't care about money. With a start Harry realised they had spent over an hour together in what was basically a Potions Lab without arguing once. Snape seemed to realise this at the same time and a sudden awkward silence fell over them as they both just stared at each other. Being an artist of sorts, though Harry never thought of himself as such, he couldn't help use the moment to study the man's face. He wanted to brush the man's hair back so he could see better, but just then the door banged open and Sirius rushed in.

"There's going to be an attack. Dumbledore just informed me. I'm going to start firecalling people." He strode through the room and got down on his knees in front of the fireplace. Harry felt his muscles tense immediately, his mind preparing for battle. He absentmindedly put the bottle into his pocket. Snape was already magically packing away all the ingredients. They went easily into the suitcase, even the cauldron. Once the table was clear Snape turned to Harry.

"Put this in the training room. Do not try and make any potions without either myself or Lupin present." Harry took the suitcase a little dazedly, realising Snape had just given him a portable Potions Lab. Snape jerked his head at the door and Harry left the room to do as he was told. Once he had put it away in a corner of the training room he went back into the kitchen. It was already filled with people. They were talking heatedly, but a flare from the fireplace quieted them. Dumbledore's voice spoke, though Harry couldn't see him through the throng of people.

"Please come through. It is a temporary connection that will only last about ten minutes. Be quick." A moment later and people started flooing away in pairs. Harry stepped into the room. Soon only Sirius and Snape were left. The former turned to Harry.

"Stay here and whatever you do, don't leave the house," Sirius told him sternly.

"I'm coming with you," Harry insisted immediately.

"Harry, no."

"I can't just sit here and do nothing! This is my war too, Sirius!" His godfather put his hands on Harry's shoulders and looked imploringly into Harry's eyes.

"You're staying here, Harry. You're just sixteen-"

"I'm not a child! I want to fight!" Harry yelled.

"I won't let you out there before I have to!" Sirius yelled right back. He only made Harry angrier.

"You can't stop me from doing what is right!"

"Black, allow me," Snape said suddenly. He stepped forward and grabbed Harry's left shoulder, ripping the boy out of Sirius' grasp and turning Harry towards himself instead. His black eyes seemed to rip through Harry's soul.

"If you die in this battle, everything is lost. Everything. Your friends and family will die. When the time comes, you will kill Him, but not a moment before you are _ready_ and powerful enough to destroy him. That day will come soon, I have no doubt, but until then, _stay here_. Is that clear?" Harry could only nod mutely, feeling raw inside. Snape let go abruptly and grabbed some powder. The flare of green made Harry jump. Sirius cast one last look, half-worry, half-confusion, before following. In the silence that reigned Harry realised Snape had known exactly what to say to make Harry stay, and not only that, but Harry didn't feel bad for staying behind either. One day he would kill Voldemort, Snape knew that, and Harry felt for the first time that he knew it too.

-:-

I think I like this chapter. No slash, but we're getting closer with every chapter, sentence and word, I swear! I think Harry is really beginning to see Snape from a new perspective.

The reasons for Snape's odd lesson in Potions will be explained in the next chapter!!!!!!


	22. Chapter 22

Over 400 reviews already! I got home around midnight, read all your wonderful, wonderful reviews and felt absolutely giddy! I started writing the next chapter immediately! Man, I'm totally gonna fail my exams if I don't finish this fic before that, because you guys just have me hooked on writing nothing else!

I'm sorry this chapter isn't all that exciting, but I promise you the next one will make up for it!

-:-

Harry paced nervously back and forth in the training room. He had started in the kitchen, but looking at the dying fire had made him jumpy so he had blasted a few curses in the training room instead. Around two o'clock Dobby had appeared and made Harry something to eat. It irked Harry that someone had obviously told the elf to make sure Harry was eating, but no one was bothering to inform him on what was happening.

He didn't know what made him suddenly realise what an absolute imbecile he was, but he knew the voice berating him inside his head sounded suspiciously like Snape. He smacked himself on the forehead for good measure and drew his wand. He sat down on the floor and cast the spell to look.

Snape was alive. Harry breathed out a relieved sigh. He didn't look hurt either. The man was on his knees, holding another man with one arm and trying to feed a potion to him. The man was clearly badly hurt, half of his face was covered in burns. With a shock Harry realised it was Mundungus Fletcher. The man tried to open his mouth, his eyes looked up at Snape, full of fear. Suddenly they rolled back in his head and he went limp, dead. Harry saw Snape sigh and lay the man back down. He stopped the un-drunk potion and rose to his feet, surveying the battle-scene to look for others that needed his help. Harry finally took in the scene and realised it was at the Ministry. He grew slightly irritated at that. Hadn't they upped the security since last year's break-in?

As Snape moved over bodies Harry tried to look around the man to see if he could spot Sirius and Remus. There seemed to be chaos reigning, but the battle was over, and clearly the Light had won. Snape bent and pressed two fingers to the neck of a wizard. Harry's stomach gave a painful twist when he saw it was another person from the Order. He couldn't recall the name, and that made him feel worse. Many masked wizards and witches lay scattered as well. Snape checked them too. None of them were alive and Harry hoped they had already taken most of the injured to Hogwarts or St. Mungo's. Harry flicked his wand again so he could hear what Snape was thinking.

_'Dead,'_ he thought dispassionately as he checked a Death Eater. _'Damn it, this is hopeless. I should go to Hogwarts and help Poppy with the ones who have a chance.' _With this decision Snape made his way to the Minister for Magic. Fudge was standing off to the side with a group of aids. They looked faintly green and kept conferring frantically. Harry caught words like _damage-control_ and _the press_. Snape was going to pass the man by and go directly to the floo, but the Minister caught sight of him.

"Mr. Snape! Where is Dumbledore? Why has he fled the scene?" Snape bristled.

"Albus Dumbledore is tending to the wounded at Hogwarts, Minister," he answered, barely containing the insults his mind was screaming. Harry had never really realised how much respect Snape had for Dumbledore, even if the man could be extremely irritated with the Headmaster at times.

"The wounded should be brought to St. Mungo's," Fudge protested. "And I saw Order members leaving with Death Eaters! Is Dumbledore planning to interrogate them by himself? I demand you bring them all back here!"

"I am sure the Headmaster will return your… prisoners as soon as they are healed," Snape bit out.

"Healed?" Fudge repeated incredulously, as if he had never heard of the idea. "Are you saying Dumbledore brought Death Eaters into Hogwarts and is having them _healed_?"

"St. Mungo's doesn't have the capacity to take on wounded while seeing to the security measurements. Hogwarts does, mainly because Professor Dumbledore has been upgrading the Hospital Wing for months. Would you rather we just leave the Death Eaters to die? You won't get much information out of them that way." Harry felt like crying 'Go Snape!' as the Minister looked flustered.

"They are all going to get the Kiss anyway. We only need one or two to get information."

"None of the Death Eaters here have done enough to deserve the Kiss," Snape said with narrowed eyes. "The Inner Circle was not present."

"Well, you would know that, wouldn't you?" Fudge asked sarcastically, the insult sounding forced from his mouth. "I'm working to have the laws changed. Bearing the Mark of You-Know-Who will be enough for a Kiss." Harry paled and felt suddenly cold all over. _'Blundering fool'_ Snape thought. _'How many Death Eaters are only following the Dark Lord because they don't have other options? How many are hardly aware of what the man stands for? Most of the people here tonight were on their first raid, young wizards and witches who didn't go to Hogwarts. All dead. Creatures like werewolves who can't imagine a future with the Ministry in control.'_ Instead of voicing his thoughts, Snape fixed the Minister with a hard stare.

"Good luck with that. If you'll excuse me, I have wounded to attend to." He walked towards the floo, and even Harry heard the muttered "Yes, fellow Death Eaters." Snape tensed, but continued on. Harry wanted to jump through the window and strangle Fudge. Snape took the floo directly to the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts. His eyes scanned the chaotic scene, screams of pain and sorrow pierced Harry's soul. He had never seen anything like it. He realised a lot of the people who filled the beds were just normal Ministry workers.

_'Damn you Voldemort,'_ Snape thought savagely and Harry startled at the use of the name. Snape suddenly spotted a bed with a dog standing beside it. He walked over briskly, winding through the throng of people easily. Harry gasped as he saw the face of Remus. The man looked pale as a ghost and had deep gashes across his face. Sirius, in dog form, had his head on the bed and was licking Remus' hand comfortingly.

"Has Poppy seen to you?" Snape asked, leaning forward and scrutinizing the wounds. They weren't bleeding, but Snape saw immediately that it was only a spell holding in the blood.

"It's not fatal," Remus whispered hoarsely. "Other people need your help more." Snape knew the man was right. The gashes were the work of Fenrir, that much was certain, and since Remus was already a werewolf he wasn't in any danger from that aspect of the wounds either.

"Drink this for the pain at least," Snape said, pulling out a potion and carefully helping Remus to drink it. Padfoot made a whining noise. Snape glanced at his with his eyes. "Is the mutt okay?"

"Yes. Someone knew of his Animagus form and caught him with a spell to force him to transform," Remus whispered. "He- he can't change back." Remus' body seemed to relax as the potion took affect. Snape looked down at Padfoot, who stared up with pleading eyes.

"You'll have to wait, I'm afraid," Snape said. Harry had to agree, even though he didn't like it. The screams and crying from the Hospital Wing made it hard to hear what was being said. The dog nodded and went back to licking Remus' hand. Snape turned and was about to walk away when Remus caught his attention again.

"Someone should go see Harry." The overwhelming desire Snape had to go himself made Harry reel back. Snape's mind was practically screaming for him, but nothing in the man's face changed. Harry was stunned by the man's control.

"I will make sure he is brought here to see you both," he murmured before finally taking his leave. He went in search of Pomfrey in the crowd and located her by a bed of a young man. The wizard was being clutched fiercely to a woman's chest, his entire face hidden from view. She was sobbing, and Harry's heart clenched when he noticed all the red hair.

"Molly, let me just give him a sleeping potion," Pomfrey implored, her hand on Mrs. Weasleys shoulder.

"Mum, you're suffocating me," a voice from her chest spoke. Her sobs died away as she released who Harry now saw was Percy. He had a horrible black eye and his arm was bandaged. "Go see to the others," he said softly. Harry had never seen such a caring look in his eyes. Molly patted his head a few times and kissed him on the forehead before hurrying off. As Percy drank his potion Snape stepped forward and Pomfrey's face lit up in relief.

"Thank goodness, you're here. We need all the help we can get. I've only got three wizards and two witches with any medical training. Madam Bonham is dead and Miss Mayhew has gone to St. Mungo's because her fiancé is there apparently. The only other healer is Mr. Morgan, but he's in the high-security ward. Start at the far end." Snape, who Harry thought never took orders, simply nodded, but asked one question before he left.

"Are the Weasleys alright?" Percy had just fallen asleep and Pomfrey looked at Snape with an odd look. "I am sending someone to inform Mr. Potter of the goings on," he elaborated and her gaze softened immediately.

"They are all fine. Percy here took the worst of it because he was there when the Death Eaters arrived. Remus is in bad shape, but he'll live. Sirius is-"

"Stuck as Padfoot, I know. Thank you." He didn't waste another moment and quickly went to find the most badly injured. Harry couldn't stand to watch for long. Some of the victims were covered in blood or curse-scars. Harry cancelled both spells and sat back with a relieved sigh.

xxx

Dobby returned only ten minutes later, telling Harry news he already knew. He thanked the elf and accepted the second meal since he hadn't eaten much the first time Dobby had cooked for him. He ate alone and insisted Dobby go back to help at Hogwarts. It wasn't until late that night that Dobby once again popped into Grimmauld Place and told Harry he should come through the floo.

Dumbledore was waiting for him when he arrived in the Headmaster's office. He smiled, a little tiredly, and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Things have settled down now, but I suppose you know that?"

"I only used the Scios a little while, right after the battle," Harry admitted. Dumbledore nodded, he seemed to have expected that. He led the way down to the Hospital Wing. Inside there was calm. Only the usual beds were occupied and less than a dozen people sat around in chairs by the beds. Most people had been healed fully or sent to St. Mungo's. Harry noted the door at the far end. It had not been there the last time Harry had been in the Hospital Wing, and he wondered how many Death Eaters were in there. He didn't dwell on it, though, and found Remus first, Sirius sitting in a chair beside the bed, thankfully in human form. The Animagus rose and embraced Harry tightly.

"I'm glad you're okay," Harry whispered, hugging back just as hard.

"I'm proud of you for staying put," Sirius whispered back. He allowed Harry to breathe again and Harry went to Remus' side. The man was asleep. He looked peaceful enough. Only the three large, new scars across his face remained as evidence.

"Did Fenrir get away?" Harry asked. Sirius snorted and Harry looked at him curiously.

"Not bloody likely. I was in dog form by then and couldn't do much, but Remus was brilliant. Fenrir's dead." Harry saw that his godfather was ashamed at not having been more useful, but proud of his mate.

"Anyone else I know about?" Harry asked.

"Mundungus's gone. He didn't even want to fight," Sirius grumbled. "Shacklebolt almost didn't make it. He's at St. Mungo's. I think that's everybody you know. The Weasleys are all fine. Percy and Arthur took the worst hits. Bill was out on a mission and couldn't get here in time. He's here now, though." Harry nodded, drinking in all the information.

"So, how many dead on either side?" Sirius looked depressed and Harry grew worried. The older wizard stared at Remus for a long time.

"We lost a lot of good Aurors, Harry, and Order members. Voldemort's using new scare tactics. He lost many Death Eaters, but most of them retreated after they'd done enough damage. Inn and out real quick, scar the population, damage the Ministry, and he raided the place for all kinds of magical devices and records."

"Record?" Harry asked. At this Sirius looked positively pale.

"Muggles who know of us, werewolves, magical creatures, criminal records, the lot."

"They have a record of muggles who know of us?" Harry asked, faintly horrified at the implications of Voldemort having all that information.

"They've got to know which muggles know, don't they? So they know who to obliviate and who not to. But with it Voldemort will use it to find out the identity of every muggleborn in the country." Harry swallowed thickly, feeling a little ill. Just then he glanced up and saw Snape coming towards them. For some reason Harry felt relief and another unknown emotion spread through him. He couldn't help but smile faintly. The man looked exhausted.

"Weasleys are asking for you," Snape said. Harry's smile widened slightly and he touched Sirius' arm a moment before following Snape down the row of beds. He wanted to say something to the man, about how brave and good he was, but before he knew it he was being hugged by Mrs. Weasley and Snape was gone.

"Is everybody alright?" Harry asked when she pulled away.

"Yes, thank Merlin," she said with obvious relief. Harry saw that only Arthur and Percy were still in bed. The twins, Bill, Charlie and Ginny were seated around and between them. He smiled and one after the other they all hugged and greeted him. Harry even got a weak handshake and a smile from Percy, who had apparently woken up not long ago and insisted he fall asleep without a potion this time.

"Percy was so brave," Mrs. Weasley said. The young man blushed at her praise, but all the other Weasleys beamed. "He's the one who alerted the Order. He reacted immediately when the Ministry was breached." Harry smiled, but was secretly a little surprised. Just as he was going to ask about civilian casualties they heard a loud exclamation from outside the doors of the Hospital Wing.

"You can't keep me out!" a voice exclaimed. "I have a right to see him! Mother will be here- Mother!" They heard a muffled argument and eventually the door opened. Pomfrey walked in, looking very put out. Dumbledore followed, leading a blanked-faced Narcissa and Draco Malfoy.

"How are you going to explain this?" Pomfrey asked Dumbledore.

"Lucius Malfoy has not been convicted of being a Death Eater," Dumbledore pointed out. "Right now he is simply a patient under our care." Snape came forward suddenly and there was some sort of silent exchange between the three Slytherins.

"Excuse me for a moment. I need the… bathroom," Harry mumbled distractedly. He quickly left the Hospital Wing and ran around the corner. Once in an empty classroom he activated the Scios Totalus.

xxx

"I will go with them," Severus said to Dumbledore and Pomfrey. The former nodded, while the latter looked sceptical of the whole affair. He led the Malfoys to the back of the Hospital Wing, aware of the hoard of Weasley eyes following them. He also noticed Harry was missing. Strange. They stepped inside after Severus muttered the password.

Inside the Death Eaters were all asleep, none of them high ranking, but still all magically bound to their beds. Most of them were practically kids. Severus shuddered to think what would happen to them if Fudge passed his new laws.

"My husband is working for you now," Narcissa hissed as they walked down the row of beds. "Why is he in here?"

"He was hurt. We didn't know if he had compromised his position during the fighting so we thought it prudent not to do so afterwards by treating him differently from the others." They arrived at Lucius' bed. He had been put in Hospital Wing pyjamas and as he lay under the covers he looked almost completely like a normal person. The only thing that made him stand out was his long blond hair and porcelain skin. Severus waved his wand in a fine arch and lifted the forced sleeping charm. They had used a spell so only a few people could remove it. The man woke up immediately and sat up as if he was being attacked. His eyes darted around widely before they settle on Severus, then they shifted to Narcissa.

"Cissy," the whispered was almost too faint to hear, but the witch was in Lucius' arms the next second.

"Oh, Lucius," she whispered into his hair. She was nearly sitting in his lap. When she released him he reached around her for Draco. He came forward and the three of them hugged each other. Severus was probably the only person who had seen such a display before, and it was times like these that he knew Lucius would not break his vow to the Order. He loved his family more than the Dark Lord, or any political views. For a brief moment he wondered if he would ever have someone to hold him like that and worry if he was safe. His thoughts strayed automatically to Harry, but he shook himself. That would never happen. Best not to dwell on it.

"Mr. Malfoy." The four of them jumped. Dumbledore could be sneaky when he wanted to. Severus glared at the man for interrupting them. "I am afraid I must ask if your position as a spy was compromised." Lucius looked down, his arms around Narcissa and Draco still. Severus now knew the answer.

"I wasn't suppose to be there, but when I understood the Dark Lord wanted the records I tried to stop them and get there first, but I was too late. I couldn't just leave the fight." Dumbledore nodded gravely. Draco and Narcissa hugged their father and husband again.

"Then you will be moved to the regular Hospital Wing," Dumbledore announced. Lucius looked up, his eyes curious and a little surprised. Narcissa was smiling faintly in relief. She kissed his cheek but he barely noticed as he was staring at Dumbledore. "We won't abandon you just because you are no longer a spy," Dumbledore said, a twinkle in his eyes. "Severus is still with us, is he not?"

"Yes, but he is a Potions Master," Lucius explained his confusion.

"And you are a powerful wizard who knows more than anybody how Voldemort thinks. If you are still willing to fight for us, then we will take care of you." Lucius looked down at Draco, who stared back with big grey eyes, exactly the same as his fathers.

"Yes," Lucius whispered and Draco smiled, hugging the man close. Dumbledore was beaming.

"Excellent. Come along."

xxx

By the time Harry got back to the Hospital Wing Lucius Malfoy was being helped into his moved bed by Narcissa and Draco, across from the Weasleys beds . Harry had never truly believed they were a family, like the Weasleys were a family, but now he felt ashamed that he ever doubted it. Clearly, they cared for each other just as much as the redheads. Harry wondered if he would ever have his own family… Snape's thoughts on the subject made him frown. The man was so stubborn he would probably never accept it if Harry told him he cared for him-… Did Harry care for him? He wasn't sure, but something was happening, changing inside Harry, and he found he liked the direction things were going.

Hermione was by the Weasley beds now, talking quietly with Ginny. They had had a bit of a rough patch after Ron's death, but now they were closer than ever before. Harry saw that Hermione kept casting glances over at the Malfoys. Harry looked over as well, but instead of the Malfoys he noticed Snape, and their eyes locked. Harry tried to smile, but the man just frowned back as if he had been deeply hurt and retreated swiftly from the Hospital Wing. Harry stealthily cast the hearing spell.

_'Stupid, stupid, stupid. Just because he smiles at you and _tolerates_ your presence does not mean you can fill your head with such fantasies,'_ Snape berated himself as he stalked down to the dungeons. _'He was probably looking at Draco, anyway. You're too tired to see straight. I just need sleep. Blissful oblivion. I can't ever be near Harry. He needs to stay pure. Like Albus said, I'm still around, but I will always have the Mark. If Fudge gets his way I will get a Kiss too. Harry deserves someone whole, who will be good to him. So stop your mad ravings and do yourself a favour: stay away… easier said than done considering I have lessons with him all week and every Saturday to the end of term and then all summer… Damn.'_ Harry heard Snape groan and berate himself some more, before finally taking a sleeping potion and falling like a dead weight on his bed.

What Harry really wanted was to go downstairs and berate the man himself. How could he be so sure what Harry wanted? Wasn't he supposed to know Harry? But Snape wasn't thinking about what Harry _wanted_ at all, was he? Harry felt indignation well up inside him. Snape was being stupid, all right, but Harry was going to make sure Snape realised just how stupid….

xxx

Nearly everybody in the Hospital Wing went home after a few days. Percy Weasley moved back home and was given a promotion at work for his efforts. Lucius and Narcissa declared their loyalties and secured the Manor as another stronghold for the Order. The Minister was furious for some reason, but fewer and fewer people were paying him any attention so it hardly mattered.

Now Severus was going to another day of teaching Harry. It was Thursday and they had lost a few days because of the raid, but the rest of the holiday was still going to be spent at Grimmauld Place. Severus had demanded he still go back to Hogwarts afterwards, despite Dumbledore's suggestion he simply stay over.

It felt like a whole year had passed since that one Potions lesson with Harry on Monday. Severus felt nervous for some reason as he made his way up to the Headmaster's office to use the floo. Harry had seemed to react positively to his lesson last time. Severus had debated long with himself on how to approach the subject with someone who clearly had no liking for it, and had in the end decided to recreate a fond memory and make it into a lesson.

When Draco had been only five Severus had come over to make a fertility potion for Narcissa. She had been damaged due to a curse in the last war, right after Draco's birth, and in the end the potion had not worked, but something good had come from it. Draco had been watching closely the whole time, and asking many, many questions. Severus had found it both amusing and intriguing. Draco reminded him of himself standing by his mother's workbench. From that day on Draco had been as eager for potions as Severus had been in his youth. Perhaps the same tactic would work a little with Harry? That had been the plan at least, and Harry said he regretted every bad thing he had ever said about potions…

His thoughts were interrupted by Dumbledore's good luck wishes and soon he was through the floo and inside Grimmauld Place. The kitchen was empty, but Severus could smell that the pair had just eaten breakfast. He made his way to the training room. Empty. Curious, but it didn't matter since they were going to concentrate on other subjects anyway. He made his way up to the hallway, and even further to the drawing room. Again empty. He turned away and was just about to go up the next flight of stairs when he looked up and saw Harry standing on the landing above.

His jaw dropped open.

-:-

I'm getting back with the cliffies again, aren't I? Two in a row. Lovely! (smirk)

One step closer…


	23. Chapter 23

"It's so easy when you're evil! This is the life, you see. The Devil tips his hat to me! I do it all because I'm evil! And I do it all for free. Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need."

(Big smirk) One of my absolute favourite Voltaire songs.

Apparently you all think I'm evil. My mission in life is complete. Mwhahahaha!

Okay, now that that's out of my system…

This chapter has seen a number of versions and I honestly can't decide which one is better. I ended up posting this one because it didn't have a cliffy and it fits best with the overall tone and pace of the story. I hope you like it!

One last note: Sorry to all those who wanted Harry to be naked…. (maybe I should write an alternate one-shot for this chapter where that happens? Lol, that would be fun)

-:-

Severus Snape _gaped_ up at Harry Potter, who was standing at the top of the stairs, trying to look confident. Of course, Severus knew Harry had grown and filled-out and all that. He had even seen him bare-chested. But he hadn't _known_, obviously, because otherwise he would have jumped the young, delectable man a long time ago.

Harry had always, every single day, since his expulsion, worn that muggle boy's old cast-offs. Severus knew it was because Harry simply didn't care about what he was wearing, especially since he was inside Grimmauld Place at all times. Black didn't know about the abuse, so he didn't insist Harry get new clothes to get rid of the reminder, and Harry couldn't find it in himself to ask, until now. But he hadn't asked for _new_ clothes, that much was certain, because those clothes weren't new. In fact they were ancient compared to Harry's old clothes.

Harry was wearing Black's clothes from his teenager days, a muggle outfit the former Gryffindor had bought in secret and hidden from his parents. Severus had seen him wear those exact clothes on Hogsmade weekends years and years ago. He thought they fit Harry _much_ better.

Tight, form-fitting jeans that told Severus Black had been skinnier at Harry's age, because on Harry they fit like a second skin. An equally tight green t-shirt showed off all the muscles Harry had developed during the year's training. His hair had been styled with a charm Black had no doubt taught him. A charm that James Potter probably used to make his hair spiky instead of utterly scruffy-looking. Harry's glasses weren't perfectly round anymore, something Severus had always abhorred, but were the exact shape of James' old spectacles, telling Severus again that Black had done the Transfiguration. Severus couldn't care less, because this young man wasn't in any way James Potter. The difference the glasses made was startling, and Harry's whole face was transformed into that of a mature, young man. They accentuated his bone-structure, whereas the round ones had always made him look wide-eyed and childish.

Severus' eyes followed Harry's every move as he came down the stairs, stopping on the last one, but Severus' mind hadn't caught up with him yet. His mouth had at least closed, but his surprise couldn't be more obvious. Harry smiled, half-shy, half-smug.

"You like it?" he asked in an oh-so-innocent voice Severus knew it had to be fake. He forced his eyes to travel up from Harry's torso to the green eyes, waiting expectantly for Severus to answer. Severus found himself looking up since Harry was still on the last step and he wanted to move close to Harry, put his arms around the slim waist and carry the young man all the way to the bedroom, while they kissed each other breathless along the way. But of course he couldn't do that. Where was Black, anyway? Shouldn't he be watching over the virtue of his charge? A part of Severus wanted the dogfather to come and rescue _him_ from Harry. This was some kind of punishment, Severus concluded, for his past sins. The universe was fucking him over by showing him what he would never be able to… _Fuck_ when did Harry move closer? Or had he? Why weren't his vocal cords working? If it hadn't been for Harry finally stepping down from the last step Severus might have been a lost man, but as it was, the change in angle jolted Severus' brain back into action.

"We are going to be working with potions, today, Mr. Potter. Perhaps it would be better if you wore some old robes?" Harry's face seemed to fall, as if he really cared what Severus Snape thought about his outfit, but he rallied and got that determined glint in his eyes Severus had come to fear and respect… and admire.

"Actually, I was hoping you could drill me in DADA. I've been neglecting the theory a little. Could you? Please?"

"I have already written up a schedule-"

"Schedules can be changed, just this once?" Harry's hand came up and Severus couldn't help but flinch away. He could _not_ handle Harry touching him. The pure hurt in Harry's eyes, though, undid him more than any touch could.

"Yes, all right," Severus heard himself say. Harry smiled a little, but he still seemed upset. "Where shall we work? The library?" Harry nodded and led the way to the Black library. Snape had fantasised more than once about spending hours doing nothing but going through these books, but he never found the will to degrade himself by asking the mutt for permission. Harry seemed to know what he was thinking…

"All the really rare and Dark stuff was taken out when the place was renovated, but there are still a few interesting volumes." Harry flashed him a slightly embarrassed grin. "I've become a book-worm since I moved in here. Sirius says I'm worse than Hermione sometimes." Severus couldn't help but raise his eyebrow and looked pointedly at Harry's chest and arms.

"You can hardly expect me to believe you spend all your time in here?" A delicate blush stole across Harry's cheeks. Severus wanted to kiss him-

"Uh, no, I train too."

"I can see that." The words tumbled out of Severus' mouth, dark and almost husky, before he could stop them. Harry looked Severus up and down, the blush all but gone now.

"You must keep in shape? You move so effortlessly, like a cat." Again Harry had managed to move without Severus noticing. Which, frankly, was totally unfair because Severus was a former spy and he should be able to catch these things! They were close enough to touch and Harry looked up at him, without those horrible round spectacles, looking like the most handsome young man Severus had ever seen, ever wanted to see, wanted to touch…

"You have your Defence Against the Dark Arts book?" Severus asked, the words slightly strangled. The mood, not that there had been a mood of any sort, was broken. Harry moved away, thankfully, and Severus could breathe again, which he did, deeply. Harry settled himself in front of the small fireplace and gestured for Severus to do the same. He took a chair beside the couch and took the book from Harry, managing to _not_ brush against those fingers. "It's been a while since I looked at the curriculum for sixth year DADA," Severus said as he quickly checked the contents.

"I'm past sixth and seventh year," Harry said, not surprising Severus in the least. He only nodded and put the book away. He started questioning Harry on theory from sixth year. They talked around the questions, Harry actually pointing out some flaws and discrepancies. Severus eagerly engaged Harry in a debate, knowing Harry was smart in his own right, but just never got the chance to show it. They didn't even notice the time passing. The fire had died away when Black suddenly knocked on the door and stuck his head in.

"Harry, aren't you finished yet? Dinner's ready." Black didn't even spare a glare in Severus' direction.

"Oh, are we finished, Professor?" Harry asked.

"Hogwarts classes would've ended ages ago," Sirius pointed out sharply. "Come eat dinner."

"But we were just-"

"I'm sure we can continue tomorrow," Snape interrupted Harry, rising swiftly to his feet. He did not want to be the cause of an argument. "I will return, early." Harry smiled, looking pleased and Black muttered something. Severus left quickly in case those green eyes caught him again. He did not want Black to notice the amount of staring that went on between them.

xxx

Harry picked at his food moodily. He was a little annoyed at Sirius for interrupting what had been his longest conversation with Snape without one single insult. It had been fun to talk to someone who not only knew his Defence Against the Dark Arts well, but because of his Dark Arts affiliations had a somewhat different perspective. Their debate had been stimulating… in more ways than one. It seemed that every day Harry found something else to admire Snape for.

Then there was the fact that Snape was still being stupid. Oh, he had reacted quite perfectly to Harry's 'make-over', but the git had stopped! Flinched away! Harry had been listening to Snape's thoughts at the time, and knew the man wanted Harry more than ever before. And Harry wanted Snape, without a doubt… but….

Did Harry feel anything more for Snape? He admired the man's mind and skill, and his body, but he couldn't really say he felt anything like Snape felt for him. So perhaps it was a good thing they had stopped. Harry would have felt absolutely awful if he had just used Snape. No, he wasn't going to do that. He had already manipulated the man when he first placed the Scios Totalus on him. Still, that didn't stop Harry from being in a bad mood about the whole thing.

"Are you feeling all right?" Sirius asked. Harry glanced up and made an effort to straighten himself.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just thinking about some of the things I learnt today."

"Oh." There was something off about Sirius' tone. "You and Snape just sat there all day talking, then?" Harry tried to eat more enthusiastically, mostly because it gave him an excuse to focus on his food.

"Yeah, Professor Snape is really good at DADA. I wonder why Dumbledore never hired him."

"Professor Dumbledore, Harry," Sirius corrected, something he usually never did.

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"No, you said Dumbledore. You did say _Professor_ Snape, though." Harry shrugged, stuffing more mash potatoes in his mouth. Sirius sighed. "Something's not right." Harry frowned and looked at his godfather. Sirius was frowning too.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did you want to try my old clothes today? Why the hair, the glasses? You've never cared about stuff like that before." Again Harry shrugged, faking nonchalance, but feeling more and more apprehensive. "Did you…" Sirius' throat convulsed as he swallowed several times. "Did you want to impress _Snape_ Harry?" Harry tried to keep his face completely blank as he thought desperately for a good answer. In the end he found that the truth, slightly altered, would serve him best.

"Yes, alright?" he said, trying for exasperated and a touch of guilt. "The man's hated me and called be a thousand variations of stupid for years. I wanted him to see I could be a good student so I tried to look mature. No matter what you think of him he's still one of the best wizards out there. He knows his stuff and I need that knowledge, so, yeah, I tried to impress him… didn't work, though. I doubt he noticed." Harry went back to his plate, not needing to fake his mood since he was now very annoyed with Sirius. A long silence followed and Harry wondered if his godfather had believed him at all.

"He'll still teach you even if you don't come off as mature, Harry," Sirius said gently. "You don't need to impress the likes of him, okay?" It sounded as if Sirius was pleading with him not to do it again. Harry decided to take pity on the man.

"I know. I won't. I'll just be myself. Can I still borrow the clothes, though? I really like them." He smiled innocently and the older wizard grinned back, clearly relieved.

"Sure, Harry, anything you want." Harry thought it prudent to not say he wanted Severus Snape served up with whipped-cream and chocolate sauce. They ate the rest of their meal in silence.

xxx

As the Easter holiday passed Snape came back every day. They worked with all of Harry's subjects, even Potions, and Harry found himself trying desperately to please Snape in every one of them. In Potions Harry noticed the way Snape was trying not to scream at him when he did something wrong, which he still did occasionally, but without the usual classroom atmosphere Harry's skills improved greatly.

Sometimes an undercurrent of, for lack of a better term, flirting snuck in their conversations after practical lessons. Harry knew Snape would sometimes forget himself, and then, when he suddenly realised he was flirting with Harry, he would become rigid and professional for the rest of the evening. Still, Harry enjoyed the rounds of forgetfulness immensely.

When they went back to lessons only every Saturday Harry went back to using the Scios Totalus. It not only afforded him a view into the daily life of Severus Snape, but information about the war as well, something his so-called mentor Dumbledore rarely informed him about. Voldemort had been enraged that he had suffered higher casualties than planned in his raid on the Ministry, and when he discovered Lucius Malfoy's defection he had launched an ill-planned assault on Malfoy Manor. He had, in his haste and wrath, greatly underestimated the strength of the wards, not to mention the traps. He had only succeeded in losing even more Death Eaters. He was now in hiding, licking his wounds as Severus had so aptly thought when Malfoy told him.

Harry tried not to let the Scios affect his training or studying routine, and so he usually watched Snape after dinner, like Snape had been doing a year previously. The man mostly spent his nights alone, but often there was a situation with one of his Slytherins he needed to attend to. Harry was stunned when he saw how gentle Snape could be with younger students who were worried about their parents' loyalties in the war, and even more afraid of going against them. Now that people knew which side Snape was on, a large number of Slytherins came to him to ask if the Light would protect them. Snape reassured them as best he could, hoping all the while that they would make the right decision, but he always let them decide because he refused to force them into anything.

He could still improve when it came to his teaching skills of course, and Harry absolutely hated some of the man's quirks. The Scios really gave you too much knowledge sometimes and Harry cringed in embarrassment when he thought of all the things Snape had seen of himself, and was frankly amazed that Snape still loved him. Snape wouldn't bother to wash his hair every day, something Harry had never truly believed while at Hogwarts. The man figured the potion fumes would make it greasy in a matter of seconds anyway. He had perfect hygiene otherwise of course, but his hair and appearance just didn't matter at all, mostly because Snape considered himself ugly and a professor, who shouldn't think about such things. One of the main reasons Snape had absolutely despised Lockhart. There was a spell to protect hair from the fumes, but again Snape just didn't care.

He also had a particular way of doing everything. He was a perfectionist, and if something wasn't right, it wasn't worth having at all. Harry wanted to scream sometimes when Snape threw out potions that were perfectly drinkable, only because it didn't smell or look _just_ so. It made for lots of time watching Snape brew potions, which, when Harry thought about it some more, wasn't really that bad. It was like a dance, Harry thought, and Snape's intense eyes were magic in and of themselves.

Harry also noticed how the man longed for him, just to see him, and he always felt himself heat up when Snape started thinking along those lines. Snape was amazingly strong and always resisted the urge to use his own Scios on Harry. Instead he would release his frustration in… other ways. Harry, guilty and naughty as ever, watched and almost always came before Snape, but then again, the Slytherin didn't have Harry's visual stimulation. Harry would draw for hours afterwards: big, dark drawings of Snape nestled in a soft bed, stroking himself or sometimes impaling himself on a stiff cock. It was enough to drive Harry right back to the Scios for more. It also made for blushing and stuttering during their lessons, from both sides actually, and Harry made it his mission to make Snape blush once more than he did every time, though he didn't always succeed when the man became rigid again.

Soon, or rather, sooner than Harry expected, the school year was over. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, the twins, Bill and Charlie moved in the day before the Hogwarts Express would arrive. The two eldest brothers had quit their jobs to focus solely on the war-effort. The twins kept the shop open, but mostly to boost morale. They came back to Grimmauld Place to sleep, though, just in case. Percy lived with Penelope, but they promised to come over regularly. Remus came back from assignment to stay for a few weeks, and with Ginny, Hermione and Draco coming back from school, the place was suddenly so full of life Harry and Sirius were overwhelmed. It was fun, though. So much fun, in fact, that Harry completely forgot about Snape's lesson that Saturday.

Sirius, Harry and Draco had started training three on three again. Ginny and Hermione were watching from the sidelines to pick up tips and wait their turn. Harry and Draco had covertly and silently decided to gang up on Sirius just for fun, and soon they both had him down, their wands trained on him.

"Hey, no fair!" Sirius cried. Ginny and Hermione snickered while the two boys smirked.

"I never in my wildest dreams imagined a Slytherin and a Gryffindor working so well together. Draco, you must be having a positive effect on Mr. Potter," a cold drawl came from the doorway. Everybody swirled round to see Severus Snape standing, slightly sneering, with his arms crossed over his chest. Harry wanted desperately to go over and make it up to the man for forgetting, because Harry knew Snape was hurt, even if he would never admit it.

"Professor Snape. What were we going to work on today?" Harry asked, a little breathless still. He gave Sirius back his wand and pocketed his own. The witches in the corner raised their eyebrows simultaneously in surprise at the friendly tone. Draco arched one eyebrow, looking doubtfully at Snape, probably expecting an outburst.

"We were supposed to be brewing the 'Dust-ball potion' as you so aptly named it." Harry bit his bottom lip to keep from sniggering at the way Snape pursed his lips, as if something foul has passed between them when he said the name.

"You really think I'm ready for that?" Harry asked.

"I believe it is worth a try," Snape replied, showing he still had his reservations.

"Is this the ball that explodes into a cloud of red smoke?" Draco enquired curiously. Harry nodded. "I know how to brew that. Severus taught me in fourth year," he bragged. Harry looked at him askance.

"Why didn't you ever use it one me, then?" he asked.

"Are you kidding? Severus would've known it was me for sure."

"Lovely as this banter is," Snape cut in. "If you know it then perhaps you can teach it to Potter? That way I can have a Saturday off too, since Mr. Potter seems to have taken one." With that Snape turned sharply and stalked back out of the room. Harry cast a glance around at his friends and godfather.

"I'll be right back," he said and hurried after Snape before anyone could protest. He caught up with the man in the kitchen, thankfully empty of Molly Weasley. Snape was just about to grab some floopowder.

"Wait, sir," Harry said.

"Please, Potter, don't let me keep you from your friends."

"You're being an arse," Harry blurted. Snape turned around, doing his 'towering presence' routine. It wasn't nearly as effective now that Harry had seen the man in almost every kind of situation.

"What did you call me, Mr. Potter?"

"They just got back. I miss them and I just want to spend the day with them, is that so hard to understand? It doesn't mean I don't want to have lessons with you, but they wouldn't understand that, so I'm asking you to… maybe you could come back tomorrow? Or I could come to Hogwarts?" Harry tried to keep the pleading out of his voice, but it seeped through regardless.

"You're asking me to sacrifice my Sunday as well?"

"No, I'm asking you to teach me tomorrow _instead_ of today so I don't fall behind."

"You're not in school, Mr. Potter, you have nothing to fall behind in." The words stung harder than Harry would have thought. Having gotten to know Snape even better Harry could now see the emotions behind the mask. Severus regretted his words immediately. Harry looked away, staring at the floor. He wanted the man to leave. He didn't understand how someone who supposedly loved him could say such things. He heard Snape sigh. "That was… wrong of me." Harry's head snapped up. "You may come to Hogwarts tomorrow if you wish."

"I'd like that," Harry said softly. They stared at each other for a long moment. Harry was finding it easier and easier to lose himself in those eyes because he could now see the love hidden in there. He wondered what Snape saw in his eyes. Silently summoning his magic, locking it inside him and focusing it, Harry spoke the command clearly in his mind. A second later and Snape's thoughts drifted into him.

_'You're a horrible tease, Harry. Sometimes I think you enjoy tormenting me, saying such things, wanting to share my company. I do not know how long I will be able to stay close, because every day I come closer to being burned beyond all recognition… I'm so sorry for the harsh words that spill from my mouth, making me wish I could cut out my tongue. Old habits die hard, and I am a far too prickly person for you to be near'_. Harry realised this was the closest thing to an apology he would get. Snape admitting he was wrong was a bit step forward, when you thought about it, though Harry wasn't sure what they were moving towards. Harry's body stepped closer of its own accord, but Severus' sudden, almost violent, thoughts stopped him. _'No, please! I cannot bear it!'_ Snape took a step back.

"I must take my leave," he murmured, starting to turn back to the fireplace.

"Wait," Harry pleaded again, not sure what he wanted. Snape hesitated for a second, but then finally grabbed the floopowder again.

"I can't," he said so softly Harry was sure he wasn't meant to have heard it. Then Snape was gone, and Harry had a strange empty feeling inside him that would not go away for the rest of the day. It was like an ache, but he didn't know how to relieve it. His friends and family asked him why he looked so pensive, but he just shook his head, saying he had a headache, which by the end of the day, he did.

xxx

Harry met a lot of opposition when he informed them all of his lessons with Snape at Hogwarts. Sirius said it was typical of Snape to not want to come to Grimmauld Place now it was overrun with Gryffindors. Hermione and Draco said it was unfair Harry got more lessons than they did, and Ginny just said it was wrong to torture Harry like that. In the end, though, a letter from Dumbledore, telling them Hogwarts was expecting Harry, made them shut up. Harry left and had a very nice lesson with Snape. Things seemed healed from the day before and when Harry went home for dinner the ache was gone for some reason.

And so a new schedule was made. Harry would train with the Gryffindors and Draco during the week and on Sunday he would go to Hogwarts and have lessons with Snape. The summer seemed to fly by in this manner. Fudge was eventually sacked, finally, and the election was being held after Halloween that year. Shaklebolt was in change until then and a lot more information about Death Eaters' whereabouts started coming in. The Ministry had never been more efficient in helping people either, and there were murmurs of just not bothering with the election, especially since the Auror wasn't running. Voldemort stayed in hiding, focusing on his quick raid tactic, only on a smaller scale since he still hadn't gathered enough followers yet. Muggle targets mostly. It looked like the Ministry had the upper hand at the moment, but Harry felt as if it was only the calm before the storm.

Harry made an effort to not flirt so much with Snape during their lessons since it obviously hurt the man. But no matter what Harry did, they still couldn't stop having those moments when time seemed to stop and they just couldn't help but stare at each other. Harry's drawings changed. He started drawing him and Snape doing ordinary things. One that made him laugh for a whole twenty minutes was of him hitting Snape with a birthday cake. It was only a week until his next birthday, when he would turn seventeen…

Both dread and excitement filled Harry when he thought about it. He would be a man, a wizard despite the Governors' expulsion. He could technically buy a legal wand, but that meant he had to register as a wizard or squib who had not finished their education. That wasn't something he was keen on doing. The wizarding world seemed to have forgotten him in the increasing threat from Voldemort, and swept the entire 'indecent exposure incident' along with all knowledge of Harry Potter under the rug, where Harry preferred to be at this point.

His birthday was on a Sunday, coincidently, and Snape had told Harry the week before that he didn't expect them to have a lesson. Harry almost insisted on it for some reason, but he realised that wouldn't go over well with Sirius. On the day Harry officially became a man in the wizarding world everything was perfect. All his friends and family were there, the cake was a brilliant snitch, and even Dumbledore stopped by to give Harry a present. Everything was perfect, except that Snape didn't show up. It was like a thorn stuck in his foot all through the day. The man had come at Christmas, but now he remained at Hogwarts. Had Harry done something wrong?

They all gathered in the drawing room and had just finished opening presents. Harry cut the cake and they all laughed and joked, finding a happy moment in the midst of the war that would only escalate before it was over. Still the thorn that was Severus Snape distracted Harry. In the end he couldn't take it anymore and snuck off to the bathroom to check the Scios Totalus. To his surprise Snape was standing in Dumbledore's empty office in front of the fireplace. He looked like a man brooding over the worst-case scenario. In his hand was a brown-wrapped, smallish package. Harry quickly waved his wand to hear Snape's thoughts.

_'What am I doing? What have you reduced me to, Harry? I shan't go. It's insane to even consider it. Harry won't want me there. Once a week is enough in the company of a dour Potions Master. Of course, he would never say such things.'_ Harry sighed. Snape was _still_ acting stupid. The birthday boy decided to take matters into his own hands. Dumbledore had left only moments ago, apologising and saying that he had Order business, so Harry snuck downstairs to the kitchen and knelt down by the fireplace. He used some powder to firecall the Headmaster's office. The look of complete surprise of Snape's face was almost enough to make Harry burst out laughing, but he managed a wide grin instead.

"Hello, sir, I just forgot something I had to tell Professor Dumbledore, but I guess he didn't go back to Hogwarts. Are you coming through?" He tried to sound eager, but not too eager or else Snape would suspect something. As it was the man only blinked several times. Harry would never tire of catching the man off guard.

"Yes- I mean no…" Harry pouted ever so slightly. "Yes, as soon as you can move aside, Mr. Potter." Snape was trying to regain his composure so Harry took pity on the man and withdrew his head from the flames. He waited very close to the fireplace and when Snape stepped out they almost collided.

"Potter! Is that anyway to greet a guest?" Snape grumbled as he tried to straighten his robes while not coming into contact with the other wizard. Harry knew he was being awfully mean, especially since he had been so good with not flirting too much with the man these past weeks, but today was his birthday after all. When he opened his mouth, however, there was no sexual innuendo at all… how odd…

"I'm glad you came," Harry said sincerely, smiling up at Snape. Whatever Snape had been about to say disappeared on a sudden exhale. Their eyes met for a long moment.

"Happy birthday, Harry," Severus said softly. Harry's smile widened.

"I'm a man today," Harry said with a cheeky grin.

"Yes, you most certainly are."

-:-

Veeeery long chapter (for me at least). The original version had the worst cliffy to date so I thought you might kill me, as it is maybe you'll be happy that Harry seems to be moving past his purely physical attraction to Snape….? I won't get my hopes up though.

It's so easy when you're evil! This is the life you see, the Devil tips his hat to ME!

Late note: I was half dead to the world when I wrote most of this chapter so I apologise if there are more mistakes than usual!


	24. Chapter 24

Thank you for all your reviews! Sorry if this update took longer than usual. I

A note on Harry's drawings: When I think of Harry's drawings I think of the absolutely BRILLIANT style of xbloodsugarx on Livejournal (her more racy stuff has moved to InsaneJournal). I imagine Harry's drawing having some of the same feeling as her drawings. (I recommend her brilliant illustration to thepinkrabbit's original fanfiction "The White Bird Series". Absolutely stunning (and brilliantly written). Be warned that a lot of her art has malfoycest in it. And I believe her journal is friend locked.

-:-

Snape's soft smile did strange things to Harry's insides. He felt his own grin turn into a shy smile in return and then forced his eyes to look away lest they never break their most recent staring contest. Harry's eyes fell to the brown parcel in Snape's hand. If Harry had to guess he would say it was a small book, but he couldn't imagine what kind of book Snape would get him.

"Is that for me?" he asked, looking up at Snape again.

"Yes," the man coughed. "It's nothing, really… here." Harry took the present, and despite its rather dull wrapping Harry felt that this one would be the best yet. He decided he didn't want to open it in front of the others so he ripped off the paper and stared in amazement. It was a small case, a pencil-case to be exact, made of wood, containing a small number of coloured pencils. Harry thought it was a thoughtful gift, but a little on the small side. Snape must have noticed Harry's confusion.

"You can change the hue of each pencil, thereby giving you the exact colour you want without having to buy an large set of them," he explained. Harry felt like an idiot, but his smile lit up his face in delight at the thought of all the experimenting he could do.

"Thank you, sir, it's perfect," he said sincerely.

"You're quite welcome," Snape murmured back and Harry felt a shiver run down his spine in both satisfaction and lust.

"Can you stay?" Harry asked, making a vague gesture towards the stairs. He could easily tell Snape didn't really want to brave the Gryffindor congregation upstairs, but he looked determined not to decline.

"Yes, if you wish," he said.

"I wish it," Harry said, unable to resist teasing Snape's odd formal tone a little. Snape apparently chose to focus on Harry's words and his lips quirked again. Harry decided they needed go to up before Harry lost himself completely and kissed the man. The need to was so strong it was a physical ache in his chest. He turned and forced himself to lead the way to the drawing room. The conversations heard inside were lively and Harry could hear Snape's thoughts on 'Gryffindors' and 'hooligans' even without the Scios. He opened the door and stepped inside. Everybody fell silent.

"Look who I found in the kitchen," Harry said as brightly as he could, trying to make it clear that it was his birthday and for once he was going to have everything he wanted, well, not _everything_ as that would include a treat not in any way snitch-shaped or made by Molly Weasley, but it could very well be covered in icing… or chocolate. Shaking his head Harry tried to take in everyone's reaction. Only Molly had risen from her seat and come forward, though Mr. Weasley nodded in greeting, as did Remus.

"Severus, what a nice surprise," she said as she took his hand, abstaining from hugging him this time, something Harry could easily tell Snape was grateful for. He heard Sirius mutter something about 'a _surprise_ at least, but a nice one?" He immediately sent a hated glare in Sirius' direction. It was his bloody birthday and everybody would behave, goddammit!

Sirius looked both confused and chagrined. Remus leant over and whispered something into his ear, but by then Harry was focusing on his friends. Ginny looked wary of her professor, while Hermione and Draco looked at ease. The latter smirked and waved at Snape.

"Hello, Severus, fancy seeing you here," he said. Hermione rolled her eyes. She was sitting very close to Draco on the couch and Harry wished he could sit like that with Severus.

"Yes, quite," Snape answered. Harry finally pushed the man into the seat Mrs. Weasley conjured, while he himself sat back down between Sirius and Remus, unfortunately.

"Oi, Harry," George commented from across the room, or Fred for all Harry knew. "What you get from him?"

"A potion of course!" the other twin said. They clearly didn't believe Snape had gotten him a present at all, and since no one else asked about it was obvious no one else did either. It suited Harry fine, actually, and he kept the pencils tucked away in his pocket. Mrs. Weasley started serving Snape cake and Harry had to suppress a snicker at the man's expression upon seeing the snitch shape. Soon conversations were back on, people mostly ignoring Snape's presence, except for Molly of course, who always seems intent on getting Snape to mingle at every meeting.

Harry tried desperately not to stare too long at Snape, but it was hard, very hard, and rather ridiculous, considering the _reason_ Harry was staring. It was such a simple thing, but he still wondered why he hadn't noticed the moment Snape had come through the floo. It was also ridiculous that he should obsess over such a small detail. But the fact remained: Snape had washed his hair. And of course, why wouldn't he? He had, like any normal person, groomed himself before going out to a social event. But the fact that Snape considered Harry's birthday a special enough event to wash his hair late in the day just to get rid of the potions fumes from earlier… it made that warmth spread through Harry again. Snape had wanted to look good for Harry's special day. Despite Snape detesting people who fussed over their appearance in any way.

He managed to avoid staring long enough to make people suspicious, at least he hoped. Draco gave him a sort of knowing look now and then, but Harry pointedly ignored him. Bill, Charlie and the twins joked endlessly of Harry finally becoming a man, Sirius joining in until Remus shut him up. Since it was already rather late things started to wind down pretty quickly. Ginny and Hermione retired first, followed by Bill and Charlie who had things to do in the morning. Draco and the twins held out long, but followed Sirius and Remus up in the end. Sirius seemed to want to wait for Harry, but Remus dragged him up.

"Well, I'll clean up," Mrs. Weasley said eventually. "You should go to bed Harry," she added. Harry yawed in agreement.

"I should go," Snape said at once. "I think I'll apparate back." Mrs. Weasley nodded and said good night to both of them. Mr. Weasley repeated the sentiment and then went to help his wife, insisting Harry not help since it was his birthday. Harry inwardly smirked at his good luck.

"I'll walk you to the door," he said as casually as he could manage. Quietly, he led the way down, passing by Mrs. Black who was, as always, still stuck to the wall. He ushered Snape outside and closer the door behind them so he could speak freely. They stood fairly close on the top step since they had to stay within the wards in case Death Eaters were watching the place.

"Thank you for a lovely evening," Snape said and this time Harry couldn't help but snicker.

"It didn't look like you were having fun," he commented. His face softened abruptly and he gazed up at Snape. "Thank you again for the gift. It was brilliant."

"It was nothing, I'm sure you got everything a young man would want." Something inside Harry cried out for joy at being called a young man by Snape. He smiled slyly.

"All except one thing, actually," he said vaguely. Snape raised a single eyebrow.

"And what would that be?" he asked in his usual drawl.

"A birthday kiss," Harry said, his voice soft instead of the teasing he had planned. Snape's whole body seemed to stiffen and his eyes filled with confusion and disbelief. Harry moved closer, almost touching Snape and tilting his head up. "Don't I deserve one?" he asked innocently, hoping against hope Snape would give in.

"I-… That is hardly appropriate Mr. Pot-"

"Harry," the young man cut in. "I am not a student, and we are not currently in a lesson. I want you to call me Harry… if you want." Harry almost leaned up to just take the kiss, but he knew that would merely cause Snape to pull away. He was sure he could feel the man's heartbeat through the space between them.

"Harry… I don't think I am the person to give you a… a birthday kiss."

"Please?" Harry practically begged.

Severus stared down at Harry in confusion. _'Does he enjoy torturing me?'_ he thought dejectedly. He wanted to kiss those lips so much, but he couldn't. It would not be fair to Harry, because Harry of course felt nothing but lust, right? If he knew Severus' true feelings he would not be so willing to give in to his attraction. Then again why would anyone lust after him? Still, he had seen enough in the Scios before to know Harry wanted him in that way.

Those green eyes pierced Severus with an intensity no one had ever used while looking at him. Would Harry, the young man Severus had come to know since that fateful day last year, beg Severus to kiss him before they went their separate ways if he felt nothing but carnal desire? Even as this new, tiny hope sparked in Severus he raised a shaky hand up and gently took hold of Harry's jaw. As he leaned in he turned Harry's head and pressed a feather-light kiss to a white cheek. He quickly drew away, slightly appalled, but also slightly proud at himself for daring.

"Good night," he managed to murmur and closed his eyes, for he would not have made it to Hogwarts' gates if he had been staring at Harry's delighted eyes, but also pouting lips while trying to apparate.

Harry stopped pouting when Snape disappeared, a smile spreading across his face. That was another step in the right direction, and Harry's mental picture of where they were heading was clearer than ever.

xxx

The time between Harry's birthday and the start of school seemed to fly by even faster in Harry's mind. He would look forward to his Sundays mostly, especially since Snape had promised to continue their lessons even when the students returned. Every week they would work with either practical magic or on theory. Harry made a point not to flirt as before, and instead just let himself smile more in Snape's presence. He got more of those soft lip quirks in return, so it was well worth it.

Sirius was always in a bad mood on Sundays, especially when Remus was gone. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Charlie, Bill and the twins still stayed at Grimmauld Place, when they weren't out on assignment. Harry didn't know exactly why, but he assumed Voldemort would soon be done licking his wounds…

Draco, Hermione and Ginny said goodbye on the morning of September 1st and Harry watched them go with less bitterness than last time. In fact he could almost say being expelled was the best thing that had ever happened to him, considering all the training he got and the absence of people staring at him, not to mention a certain Potions Master. He smiled to himself when he realised how far he had come, and how truly grown-up he felt compared to his friends who were going back to school.

xxx

It was almost Halloween, the Saturday before actually, and Severus entered the Headmaster's office for one of the frequent teas Dumbledore enjoyed and Severus endured. He found the old wizard twinkling behind his desk as usual and sat down without invitation, grabbing the tea as soon as it arrived.

"How are things with Harry?" Dumbledore asked.

"We are past seventh year curriculum in all his subjects and are now focusing on magic that will serve him in battle as well as healing," Severus replied.

"I'm glad to hear it, but I wasn't asking about the lessons," Dumbledore commented, looking at Severus from over the rim of his half-moon spectacles.

"Then I don't know what you mean," Severus replied irritably, his eyes anywhere but at the twinkle, as it would surely blind him.

"You two seem to have developed a close relationship," Dumbledore said carefully.

"We work amiably together," Severus said, refusing to give in. He was all out of confessions for his old mentor.

"Come now, Severus, be nice. Harry seems to enjoy your company. He's always here early and always smiling these days, at least when he comes to Hogwarts."

"He takes joy in his studies, I find that commendable."

"Severus-"

"I will not discuss it!" He braved the twinkle and glared at Dumbledore. He was so tired of the man's questions. "Are you any closer to removing the Scios Totalus from Harry?" he asked, desperate for a change in subject.

"I am still researching. You haven't used it, have you?"

"No, I have not," Severus said a little defensively, then he admitted: "The need to is not so strong now. I think it is because we see each other every week."

"Yes, that could be it," Dumbledore murmured. "Have you thought of telling Harry how you feel?" The question was so completely out of the blue as well as laughable that Severus could only stare. "Perhaps that is the key to removing it… the wizard who wrote the diary stopped after confessing…"

"Because he died of the obsession no doubt," Severus cut in.

"Perhaps if you saw Harry more often… or allowed your relationship to become… closer."

"Stop this at once." Severus rose from his chair. "Are you saying you _want_ me to-" he stopped himself and took a deep breath. "I have already grown too close to the boy… I should probably leave the rest of his training to others… I-… excuse me." He rushed from the office in a swirl of robes. As he hurried down to the dungeons he couldn't believe Dumbledore's words. They were insane! How could the man even entertain such thoughts? Every time Harry brushed against him during a lesson it was like agony. And every time Harry smiled Severus wanted to go down on his knees and confess everything. But he couldn't, and he was taking too great a risk as it was now. He would stop seeing Harry before he lost all control, something that was as precious to Severus as his dignity.

xxx

Harry didn't understand. He was utterly confused. He had received a letter, a note really, from Snape telling him not to come this Sunday. Why? At first Harry had been so angry that something more important had come up that he had asked Sirius to do something fun with him, almost as if to show himself that he didn't need Severus at all. His godfather had readily agreed and they had had fun for the day, and lots of good food from Mrs. Weasley.

But the closer evening came, the time when he usually used the Scios, the worse his wand hand itched to use it. He was still upset, but now he grew more curious as well. Why had the man cancelled? He excused himself after dinner and went up to his room, locking the door securely and settling himself on the bed. Once the Scios was on Harry peered into it, a small frown marring his features.

Snape was sitting in front of the fire as if it was any other night, but he wasn't staring into the fire, he was looking at a picture in his hands. Harry adjusted the view on the Scios and saw that it was the drawing of the Founders Harry had drawn as a Christmas present. Snape's thoughts were blank, only focusing on the details of the drawing. Harry frowned. What was the man doing? And why did he look so sad?

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Snape looked up. With a confused scowl on his face he rose and went to open it. Harry's frown deepened when Blaise Zabini was found standing outside. He hadn't seen the boy since fifth year. The boy- no, man now, was looking far too handsome to be anywhere near Severus, at least Harry thought so. He wanted the Slytherin to leave, now, and he'd better wipe that sly smile off his face or Harry was going to have to remove it by force! Using one of the many spells Snape had taught him.

"Professor Snape, may I have a word?" Zabini asked, his voice smooth like only a Slytherin could make it. For the first time Harry wished he had agreed with the Sorting Hat. His voice would never sound like that.

"Very well, can't this wait till morning?" Snape asked even as he let the sneaky Slytherin into his quarters. Weren't there rules against students inside a professor's rooms? Harry made a mental note to ask Dumbledore at the first opportunity.

"Perhaps, but it was such a lovely evening, I felt the need for a stroll," Zabini replied softly.

"_Strolling alone _after classes, even before curfew, in times like these isn't advisable, Mr. Zabini," Snape drawled. Harry smirked triumphantly.

"That's why I came down here," the young wizard said. Harry's smirk faded. "Can we sit down?" Snape's confusion was apparent to Harry, who could read the man's thoughts, but Snape didn't let it show and merely gestured for Zabini to take a seat. How could an intelligent man like Severus not know when someone came to his rooms for the sole purpose of seducing him!? Harry was miffed that someone else had noticed the allure Snape possessed, especially someone so tall and damned handsome like Zabini. The man was using glamours, surely. Snape would see right through him any second!

"So, what did you wish to talk to me about?" Snape asked as he sat down in his chair. Zabini looked disappointed they weren't going to be sharing the couch, but sat down nonetheless.

"Well, to be honest, I'm a little… scared." Zabini bit his lip and looked away in shame.

"Scared? Of the Dark Lord?" '_Oh, come on Severus!'_ Harry's mind screamed. The man wasn't about to fall for that, was he?

"No-… actually it's because I have a secret I'm afraid people will hate me for." Zabini looked imploringly at Snape and scooted as close to the chair as possible, placing a hand on the armrest and leaning forward. "I don't know who to trust," he whispered.

"You may tell me, Mr. Zabini, your secrets are safe within these walls," Snape replied calmly, as if Zabini wasn't looking at him like a snake that wanted to lick him! Harry had had enough. As he readied his wand to turn off the Scios so he could get to the kitchen Zabini had evidently decided he had had enough as well. The young Slytherin frowned at Snape, as if realising the Potions Master, former spy, wasn't picking up on the mood. He suddenly reached out and put a hand around the back of Snape's head. Before Snape had even time to open his mouth Zabini had pulled him into a kiss. Zabini moaned even though Snape remained completely frozen. Harry saw red.

He slashed his wand and the image faded. He turned on his heel, grabbing his invisibility cloak on the way, and ran from the room, all the way down to the basement. Molly was in the kitchen cleaning and looked up startled when Harry burst into the room. He didn't look at her, but went straight to the fireplace and grabbed some floopowder.

"Harry, where?"

"I need to go to Hogwarts," Harry bit out before tossing the powder and disappearing in a flare of green.

(Note: This was the original cliffhanger in the first version of the previous chapter... Aren't you glad I re-wrote it??????)

If Dumbledore was in his office when Harry arrived he didn't noticed. He sprinted down staircase after staircase, his feet no doubt showing because of the way the cloak billowed, but he didn't see any students about, and didn't care. He reached the now familiar carved door and knocked imperiously. If Severus didn't open in exactly two- The door swung open, an enraged Severus glared out into the seemingly empty corridor, his glare quickly transforming into confusion.

Harry didn't waste a second more, but pushed Severus backwards. The man stumbled, but didn't fall. Harry slammed the door shut after him and ripped off the cloak.

"Harry?" Severus exclaimed. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Never you mind," Harry growled. He looked around the room. No sign of Zabini. The place was as spotless as usual and there were no signs of recent debauchery. He fixed Severus with a glare. The older wizard was growing more confused, and the fact that he showed it on his face was a testament to how far they had come. But Harry didn't care about that right now. He stalked towards Severus and used one hand on the man's chest to push him backwards until he fell onto the couch. Severus was too stunned by the emotions in Harry's eyes to protest.

Without missing a beat Harry straddled Severus' lap, cupped the man's face with his hands and leaned in for a proper kiss. Severus' lips were moist, perhaps from Zabini slobbering all over him!? Harry covered those lips with his own, making sure they were now moist because of him. He was just about to tell Severus to cooperate when he was abruptly pushed away. He held onto the man's shoulders, though.

"What are you doing?" Severus demanded, anger, confusion and a host of other emotions making him sound breathless.

"You're mine," Harry declared before trying to lean in for another kiss. Severus' hand on his chest stopped him.

"Harry- stop this. You don't want this," Severus almost pleaded.

"Yes, I do. I want you." Harry licked his lips, his eyes locking with Severus'. "I love you." He knew he had to say it first, but when he did it was the easiest thing in the world, because it was so true. And there wasn't any fear of rejection either. It was a liberating experience and Harry wanted to say it again and again and again. He wanted to be the only one in Severus' arms for the rest of their lives. It was ironic, how Severus had been in Harry's mind so long, and then the moment he left Harry had thought of nothing but this man. His dark hero, as his dreams had named Severus.

"What? No-" Harry placed his hand over Severus', gently prying it away so he could lean in again. He nuzzled right under Severus' left ear.

"Yes, it's true. Please, don't fight anymore. Let go," he whispered. "I love you, Severus." He let the name drag out on his tongue, loving the way it rolled off. A shiver ran through the man and Harry claimed those lips again, pouring his love and sexual frustration into the kiss. He had fantasized so long it was almost painful to finally be given everything. Severus' arms suddenly found their way around Harry's waist and he returned the kiss with a moan. Harry found he actually liked the way he could feel Severus' nose press against his cheek. It made the kiss feel more raw and passionate. He opened his mouth and Severus immediately took advantage. Harry had never felt anything like it and he let out a moan he didn't know he was capable of as Severus' tongue massaged his own. They separated just a fraction of an inch, enough for Severus to whisper in a hoarse voice:

"I love you… as well" Harry's mind cried out for joy and they kissed again, this time Severus inviting Harry's tongue into his mouth. Harry tried to make up for inexperience with enthusiasm and did what felt good. Since Severus' right hand was now in his hair and the other was clutching his shirt like a lifeline, Harry guessed he wasn't doing anything wrong. It would have been the perfect kiss, everything Harry could have dreamed of and more, if not for the ending. Harry's hands were spread on Severus' chest and he felt the muscle underneath. He felt Severus' left hand linger at his hip and Harry gave a moan of encouragement. Just before Severus delved under his shirt, however, two _clicks_ were heard in some distant corner of his mind. The next thing he knew was pain as something hard and metallic connected with his head.

"Ow!" he exclaimed as he drew back abruptly. Severus groaned as something similar hit him. Harry rubbed his head and looked to the couch beside them. Severus followed his gaze and they fell silent. There on Severus' couch lay two Scios Totalus, one crescent-shaped and one completely round. Severus slowly picked up the one Lucius Malfoy had stolen and studied it. He looked up at Harry in confusion and his face was so open Harry's heart almost broke with guilt.

"Harry?" he asked softly, holding up the Scios. He sounded like a dying man voicing his last wish. "Would you care to explain?"

-:-

Oh, man… ops…. That wasn't in the plan I swear! This story just wants to be written as a series of cliffhangers! Don't worry, lots more slash to come!!!

Remember: if you kill me I can't write anymore Snarry!

Ps: Thanks to Kuro Ookami Hatake who asked for a birthday kiss. ;-)


	25. Chapter 25

Over 500 reviews! I can't believe it. I keep checking my stats every few hours because I just can't believe it. Thank you so much!

When this is finish I will find myself a beta and get rid of the mistakes as well as fixing a lot of little plotholes I've been noticing recently. Then I will be posting it on Walking The Plank, my favourite Snarry archive… I'll probably be adding more graphic scenes to make it NC-17… ;-) A few kinks here and there always brightens up my day, how about you?

Of course there is endless room to debate what falls under the 'M' rating. I have read scenes more graphic than anything I have planned for this story. I try to focus on the characters' emotions rather than description.

For those of you wondering: I have no idea how long this will be. It depends on how long it takes to get rid of Voldemort, not to mention how much slashyness you guys want!

**Beware The Slash! … or should I say: Behold The Slash???? **

-:-

Harry? … Would you care to explain?" Harry swallowed nervously. The first thing his mind screamed was: _'It was Dumbledore's idea!'_ He tried to keep looking directly at Severus, but it was hard and he glanced down to the Scios in Severus' hand, and then over to the one on the couch. "How did you get this?" Severus' voice made Harry look up again.

"Dumbledore gave it to me," he said softly, feeling all of fifteen-years-old again and in the Potions classroom.

"That meddling old!-" Severus bit off the last word and squeezed his eyes shut, his face pained. Harry felt at a loss what to do, but reached out and stroked the side of Severus' face. When the black eyes snapped open Harry's breath hitched.

"Please…" Harry leaned in again, desperate to go back to kissing, wishing he had a Time Turner so he could erase these last few minutes. "I love you."

"How can that be possible?" Severus asked, his voice raw. Harry had never witnessed, in all the time he used the Scios, Severus so incredibly vulnerable. He looked on the verge of a breakdown.

"I fell in love with you, watching you, working with you…" Harry's lips travelled towards Severus' mouth, working his way along the jaw-line.

"But- you knew, you saw-" Severus couldn't seem to form words, and his efforts to push Harry away grew feebler. Harry knew it was perhaps unfair to keep distracting Severus, but he wouldn't let the man over-think things. That was a Slytherin trait, looking at things from every possible angle.

"Yes, I knew you loved me, but it didn't bother me. I already liked you. Now, _please_, kiss me." Harry finally found those elusive lips and his breath was stolen away as those arms once again held him tightly. The kiss heated up slowly, but surely and Harry was now very much aroused. They parted once again and Harry was just about to protest when Severus started kissing down his neck. He groaned as Severus kissed and kissed rapidly, almost desperately.

"This can't be real," Severus whispered between kisses. Harry tilted his head to give the man better access.

"Yes, yes, it is," Harry moaned as Severus latched on and sucked. "Ah!" Severus sucked harder, leaving a mark no doubt. "Please." The man pulled back. Harry looked into those black eyes and they gazed back with pure desire and adoration. He had never seen anything so beautiful. "Make love to me?" Severus' eyes widened. Harry slowly got off the man's lap and stood, holding out a hand.

"We, we shouldn't," Severus said, eyeing the hand as if it would snap at him if he took it.

"Why not?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. Somehow, Severus' uncertainty made him bolder. Instead of waiting for an answer, or answering himself, Harry took Severus' hand firmly in his and pulled. The man came, somewhat willingly at least, or perhaps not able to resist. Harry led them to one of the doors, hoping he remembered which one was which, and pleased beyond words when it revealed the bedroom. The bed was heavily draped in a green so dark it was almost black. The rest of the room had a medieval feel to it, complete with bare stone walls. There was a dresser made of dark wood with snake-line carvings, an ornate mirror above. There was also a closet and a door leading to the bathroom. The carpet was thick and warm, probably charmed, and weaved in an intricate pattern. It was different from the living room, but strangely not cold at all. Instead it was alluring with candelabras on the bedside tables. Harry felt both excitement and nervousness.

"Harry?" He turned at his name and was suddenly engulfed in a kiss that made the others look positively pale in comparison. He moaned and pressed into Severus, who in turn held him close. "I must ask," Severus breathed against Harry's lips. "Once more before I loose… control." It sounded as if his words pained him, and Harry kissed him again briefly before speaking.

"It's okay," he said softly. "You can loose control just this once, and have it back again afterwards. As for asking, there's no need, I want you."

"Alright then…" Severus kissed him again, slower this time, but it still took a moment to realise Severus' deft fingers were unbuttoning his shirt. Soon it was pushed off his shoulders and then those fingers were everywhere at once, leaving a trail of tingling heat behind them. Harry was breathing heavily now. He was closer than ever to fulfilling all his fantasies, but he felt incredibly nervous. His Gryffindor nature wouldn't let him show it, however. He fumbled to try and unbutton Severus' long robe, so eager so see that body he had seen countless times in the _flesh_. Severus pushed Harry's hands away, and sank to his knees.

As Severus opened Harry's jeans, his black eyes always focused on green, Harry felt himself shiver with anticipation. Severus was watching him, he knew, for any signs of indecision, and Harry wasn't about to give it to him. He looked back steadily, even as Severus slowly made him step out of his shoes and socks, and then jeans, followed at last my his boxers. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen Harry naked before, was it? Severus rose slowly, his hands gliding up Harry's body. He kissed Harry once.

"Lay down." Harry reluctantly parted from Severus' warm body and quickly darted over to the bed, slipping under the covers where he found another warming charm. He kept close watch on Severus, who was now removing his robe by magic. Harry remembered himself wishing once that Severus wear muggle clothing, but he couldn't feel sorry at all that the only thing Severus had underneath were those black boxers Harry had seen on more than one occasion. He had seen that cock before as well, but that didn't stop his heartbeat from speeding up, nor his eyes from feasting upon it.

Severus lifted the covers and Harry scooted slightly to make room, pressing himself back against Severus the second he was lying down. Severus turned to him and drew him in, kissing his neck and shoulder with what seemed like millions of those kisses.

"I've got you in my bed," Severus whispered almost reverently as his hands smoothed down Harry's back, coming to rest just above his buttocks. Harry hummed in agreement and wriggled slightly to make that hand move. Severus' lips were on his again, and Harry moaned and pressed as close as possible, while still trying to push his backside into that big hand. He could never have imagined the pleasure those hands could excite.

"Please," Harry whispered. "I want to explore every inch of you and do endless pleasurable things, but right now I just want you to fuck me." Severus stilled slightly, and Harry almost huffed in frustration.

"Perhaps we should talk first," Severus seemed to force the words out.

"No more talking," Harry pleaded. "Sex now, talk later." He ducked his head to kiss Severus' collarbone. The man needed to understand that Harry was way past the point of no return. If Severus became anymore stupider Harry was going to explode, in more ways that one.

"Are you sure about this? I would be willing to let you top first, if that made you less nervous." So, Harry's nervousness had not gone unnoticed. He almost said yes just because the thought caused such a stir in his nether regions, but he also wanted Severus to get rid of that pesky virginity.

"Severus," Harry said as sternly as he could manage with his breathless voice. He reached down boldly and found that thick cock he had been eyeing earlier. Severus moaned. "If you don't get this inside me soon I'll-… Look, I know what I want… Remus and Sirius both gave me the encyclopaedic version of 'the talk'."

"Don't say their names in my bed," Severus growled, but it came out half strangled. "And stop that or I won't be able to do what you ask." Harry removed his hand and Severus turned away, rummaging through the bedside table and returning with a bottle of what Harry guessed was homemade lubrication. "Turn around, spread your legs." Harry complied quicker than a snitch.

(PLEASE BE WARNED THAT THIS SCENE IS M RATED FOR A REASON. Please skip to the next 'xxx' if you prefer to leave the sex to your own imagination.)

Severus pulled down the sheets and saw Harry shiver. He summoned his wand and cast an extra warming charm. Then he carefully set to work on this precious gift. He was determined to make it good for Harry. Harry… in his bed. It was the most surreal experience of Severus' life and he thought his head, as well as other parts of his anatomy, would explode when Harry started wreathing and moaning for more. Severus turned the young man over again and lifted the muscled legs to drape over his shoulders. Seeing Harry in that position made Severus pause to take a deep breath. "Ready?" Harry nodded, and Severus knew the Gryffindor was nervous, but determined, so he positioned himself and pushed in.

Harry cried out softly. It felt like a broom stuck up in there, even with all the preparation. He managed to whisper "Go slow," and Severus nodded, keeping perfectly still so Harry could adjust. Soon Severus started rocking slowly and Harry felt pleasure starting to replace the burn, especially when one of those long-fingered hands started stroking him. It was stimulation unlike anything he had ever felt before.

"Faster," he moaned, the slow pace now driving him mad. Severus complied readily. The man's skin was glistening in the flickering candlelight. Harry was having trouble keeping his eyes open. He felt blissfully connected to this man and his toes curled. One thing was sure: it was better than any pleasure his fantasies or his own fingers could produce. The hand sped up, driving Harry closer to fulfilment.

"Harry," Severus groaned and it was as if a switch had been pulled. Harry arched and came, crying out softly. Severus kept going for a few moments longer and Harry loved how he felt everything so acutely. Another groaned 'Harry' and the man came. Harry watched raptly as the usually guarded face contorted in pleasure, pleasure Harry had given him. Severus didn't collapse, but he panted as he slowly pulled out and brought down Harry's legs. Only then did he fall to the side. Harry was quick to move closer and pull up the sheets again. His arse burned, but it was like he could still feel Severus there and so he didn't mind. Severus stretched out an arm that Harry could rest his head on.

"Are you all right?" Severus asked. Harry only murmured something unintelligible, feeling too sated and tired to form actual words. "We'll talk tomorrow," Harry thought he heard before he let dreams take him.

xxx

Harry was so warm and comfortable he didn't feel like moving. He wanted to stay right where he was. There was only one thing missing: a warm body next to his. He was pretty sure last night hadn't been a dream, so when he felt around in the bed and when there was no sign of Severus he pried his eyes open and found himself alone. He sat up in bed and looked around. The light of day seemed to come from nowhere, lighting up the room even without windows. Harry stretched and noticed his clothes neatly folded and placed on the covers at the foot of the bed. He got up and pulled them on, leaving off his socks and shoes in favour of going out into the living room to search for Severus.

He found the man sitting at the round table in the alcove, reading the _Daily Prophet_ and drinking tea. The rest of the table was filled with everything Harry had used to eat for breakfast at Hogwarts. He was pretty sure Severus hardly ate anything this time of day.

"Hey," Harry said, trying to focus on the peaceful feelings inside that came with the knowledge that everything was out in the open and the Scios Totalus were off. Severus looked up and simply watched as Harry came over, hesitated, and then leaned in for a kiss. Harry was very grateful when Severus allowed it and couldn't help but let his eyes fall shut and savour it. For some reason he delighted at the soft smacking sound when they parted. A small smile appeared on his face as he sat down across from Severus, who had by now folded his paper.

"Tea?" Severus asked and Harry nodded. The man poured while Harry grabbed a piece of toast to nibble on. He couldn't decide whether he was really hungry or had a tummy ache. "Milk and sugar?"

"Both." Severus floated the cup over to him. "Thanks." Harry wasn't sure if he liked the silence or not. He seemed unsure about a lot of things, he realised. Severus looked calm enough, but that could be a mask. Then again why should Harry be wary of a little peace in the morning? They hadn't had an argument in… Harry couldn't remember. They rarely had it out in his lessons, so why would things change now?

"There are things we need to discuss," Severus spoke up.

"What things, exactly?" Harry asked.

"The Scios Totalus for one… and our… situation." Harry frowned at the term.

"You mean our relationship?" he asked just to see how Severus would react. The man sighed and looked away.

"Harry-"

"No," Harry cut in. He knew that tone and he wasn't going to let Severus act stupid over this. He was frankly sick of it. He rose and came round to Severus, grabbed the back of the man's head and leaned down for a harsh kiss. When he abruptly drew back he kept a tight hold on the black looks, still soft and non-greasy from the man's morning shower. "Didn't you hear me last night?" he asked sternly, staring into Severus' black eyes. "You're mine, only mine, and I'm never letting you go. So you can whine and repeat as many versions of 'I'm too old and a former Death Eater and your teacher' all you like. I'm a man now, and a Gryffindor no matter what. You're stuck with me." There was a deafening silence afterwards, but it only lasted a heartbeat.

"Are you quite finished?" Severus asked, managing to look both superior and Slytherin-like even with Harry holding onto him. No sooner had Harry let go, however, than Severus pulled him into another harsh kiss, Harry easily sliding onto the man's lap and their tongues battled for dominance. Harry would not let him have it this time, and Severus gave in, leaning back in his chair as Harry devoured him. When they finally parted they were both panting. "You have grown into a fine young man, Harry," Severus commented dryly. Harry grinned, a little smugly and kissed the man again just because he could. He tried to get up, but Severus held him in place. "You're stuck with me too, I'm afraid," Severus drawled and Harry let out a relieved laugh and rested his head on Severus' shoulder, drinking in man's fresh scent.

"Remind me to thank Zabini," Harry murmured as he wound his arms around Severus' neck.

"Zabini?"

"Don't play dumb." Harry poked the man in the side. "He kissed you and I saw. That's why I came over."

"Ah," was Severus' only reply.

"You did… throw him out, right?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"Of course," was Severus' soft reply. The stillness that followed was odd so Harry raised his head and looked at Severus' face. The man had that look again: a calm mask. "You saw with the Scios?" he asked unnecessarily. Harry nodded. "Which Dumbledore gave you… what did he tell you to do, exactly?"

"Eh, well, to spy on you." Severus let out a hiss that was probably a curse and his arms around Harry tightened. "Look, if it wasn't for him I never would have gotten to know you," Harry tried, but Severus pushed Harry to his feet and rose himself. He started to pace.

"And what if you didn't like what you saw, Harry? What then? What if you found out I loved you and… there could have been a hundred different outcomes, but the man gambled, probably on the least likely scenario."

"Actually, I knew you loved me before I ever used the Scios." Severus stopped abruptly and stared at Harry, who ducked his head a little. "I overheard a conversation between you and Dumbledore."

"I see… it seems you don't need the Scios to be a spy, Harry."

"Does it really matter? We're together now, right? It all worked out." Harry moved towards the man, wanting simply to touch him. Severus shook his head and held up his hand.

"It matters Harry… but I will have words with the Headmaster later. What we need to discuss is how we are going to deal with other people and our... relationship." Harry smiled, showing he was pleased Severus had used that word.

"As far as 'other people' go I'm not too crazy about having any hot Slytherin males around you, that's for sure. That'll have to be rule number one," Harry said cheekily. Severus snorted and rolled his eyes. "Can I call you my boyfriend now?" Severus' eyes widened slightly.

"Harry, that's not a good idea." Knowing how to work with what he had Harry moved forward swiftly and pressed his body against Severus', much like he had on that fateful day when he had planted the Scios, only this time he wasn't just teasing. He could actually follow through, and that thought thrilled him.

"Please?" he asked innocently, tilting his head up and offering his lips in silent invitation.

"Harry, think. You know how people view homosexuality in the wizarding world."

"I didn't mean to tell everybody," Harry quickly assured the man, lifting one hand to brush away some black locks from Severus' face, just like he had always wanted to and now could. "Sirius, Remus, Hermione and Draco all know I'm gay and are okay with it."

"We'll that's hardly surprising. The mutt and the werewolf _are_ gay, as far as I can tell, while Draco knows too much of pureblood subcultures. Granger I suspect has muggle parents who are tolerant." Harry gave the man another little poke.

"Don't call them that," he reprimanded, referring to 'mutt and werewolf'. Severus' raised a dubious eyebrow, clearly not believing Harry was capable of reproaching him in anything. Harry put on his best glare. "I mean it. Be nice or no sex."

"Withholding sex? How feminine of you," Severus drawled, keeping that infernal eyebrow raised. Harry's inner Gryffindor lion immediately roared in protest.

"Alright," Harry said lightly. "If you insult my family I'll have to bend you over the dining table and give it to you so hard you'll still feel it the next time you see them." Severus' eyes had darkened, and the eyebrow had faltered. Harry pressed closer, surprised, but excited over his daring. "The moment one sarcastic insult is on your lips all I'll have to do is look at you and you'll feel me." Their lips were only a breath apart now.

"What about you, Mr. Potter," Severus said in a dark husky voice that had Harry's half-hard member rising fully. "Can you still feel me?" He could of course, and Severus knew it, but a blush still rose to his cheeks, hopefully mostly from arousal.

"Yes," Harry hissed before their lips crushed together.

"We really need to actually finish this conversation," Severus said when they parted. Harry groaned in disappointment.

"Now?"

"Well, we can wait, if you indulge me."

"Indulge you in what?" Severus didn't reply verbally, but instead bent and lifted Harry right up, his hands underneath Harry's thighs. Harry automatically held onto Severus' shoulders.

"Kiss me." Well, not much to say to that, was there? Harry wound his legs around Severus' waist as they kissed passionately. He felt rather than saw that they moved to the bedroom once again.

Severus was silently delighted to finally be able to act out his fantasy, and he was highly anticipating many more such delights in the near future.

xxx

Some time later Harry came out of the bedroom again, a little sorer, but very satisfied. Severus went and picked up the invisibility cloak from where Harry had discarded it the night before, and handed it to Harry.

"I hope your… family doesn't give you a hard time for not returning last night," he murmured. Harry smiled, slightly nervous when he thought about it, but shrugged it off.

"Don't yell at Dumbledore too much," Harry said in answer as he draped the cloak over his shoulders. His heart soared as Severus leaned down for once last, lingering kiss. Harry's smile didn't fade all the way up to Dumbledore's office. Luckily for the old wizard, Dumbledore wasn't in. Harry flooed back to Grimmauld Place, his stomach in a big knot. To his utter horror he found Sirius, Remus, Mr and Mrs. Weasley along with Dumbledore all gathered around the kitchen table. They looked up simultaneously when he stumbled out of the fireplace. Dumbledore quickly smiled.

"There you are, Harry, I was just telling them that you were at Hogwarts. They were quite worried." Dumbledore paused and took in the room. "Well, I'll just be on my way." Harry hoped dearly that Severus would lay into him good as the man walked swiftly by him and disappeared in a burst of green. Silence reigned until Remus rose with a rather forced smile.

"Molly did tell us you went to Hogwarts, but when you didn't come home… well, you're here now so…" Harry was at a loss. They hadn't gotten around to discussing how or if they should tell people, but Harry had gotten the distinct impression that Severus wanted it to be kept secret. Harry, however, did not want anymore secrets of that sort, especially since Remus and Sirius were of the few people who already accepted his sexuality.

"Where were you?" Sirius rose suddenly. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley looked highly uncomfortable and so they left the kitchen as silently as possible.

"I was at Hogwarts," Harry said. At Sirius expectant expression he elaborated, almost automatically twisting the truth. "Se- Snape sent a message and told me that if I was up for it we could have the lesson after all… I guess I fell asleep on the couch."

"You feel asleep on the couch?" Sirius repeated. Remus put a hand on his mate's arm and Sirius glanced at him.

"Sirius-" Remus began, but the other wizard cut him off.

"No, Remus, this is insane!" Harry stood uncertainly glancing from one to the other.

"Sirius, we agreed-"

"I don't care!"

"You're jumping to conclusions," Remus stated calmly. "For all we know this has nothing to do-"

"The hell it doesn't! It all fits!"

"Except for the fact that Severus is a _highly_ unlikely candidate." Sirius snorted, loudly.

"I don't think it's so unlikely. Have you seen my godson lately? I wouldn't put it past him-"

"Alright, that's it!" Harry yelled, effectively shutting both wizards up and gaining their attention. Harry was blushing due to Sirius' comment about his looks. He knew he had changed from the almost sickly thin, short, scar-covered runt he'd been before, but he hadn't expected many people to notice, let alone his own godfather. "What are you talking about? And speak in normal voices, thank you." Sirius looked a little ashamed of his yelling, but still looked defensive. Luckily Remus spoke up first.

"Sirius and I agreed that if you ever… developed feelings towards the man in love with you we would support it. Sirius seems to have jumped to the conclusion that the person is Severus. Apparently Sirius saw you drawing him, and then there was the birthday visit, not to mention all the lessons and the fact that you always seem so happy on Sundays, _but,_" Remus added with a pointed look at Sirius. "That is far from conclusive evidence. If you say you fell asleep on his couch, then we believe you." Harry felt guilty at once, of course, but should he tell them the truth? He couldn't explain about the Scios, that would get them both into way too much trouble.

"Severus is the one in love with me," Harry blurted before he could stop himself, charging into things like the Gryffindor he still was. Sirius looked both triumphant and murderous.

"I knew it!" he exclaimed, pointing a finger at Remus, who looked genuinely surprised, but not angry. "Just like the greasy git to lust after you now that you've grown up. I swear if he lays a finger-"

"I'm in love with him to," Harry interrupted Sirius' rant before the man said something Harry wouldn't be able to forgive. Sirius blinked stupidly while Remus' face softened. "We're together now, and we are going to be together no matter what you say because I'm a grown man, Sirius." Remus came forward and put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Of course, Harry. But if you ever need to talk, we're still here for you." Harry felt very relieved at those words. He still needed guidance from the wise man in front of him, even if he was all grown up. Harry allowed himself to be hugged. When Remus pulled away he looked at Harry intently. "He really loves you?"

"Yes, very much so," Harry said sincerely, knowing it so completely it made him feel giddy just thinking about it.

"Good. I wish you luck," Remus said, a hint of teasing in his voice Harry couldn't help but grin at. When the pair looked back to Sirius they did so with a good dose of trepidation. The man just stared at them for a moment before he turned and walked out of the room. They heard him ascend the stairs all the way to the bedroom. Remus squeezed Harry's shoulder.

"Just give him a moment," he said softly. Harry nodded, his eyes on the door, his stomach still in a knot.

Meanwhile at Hogwarts…

-:-

There you have it! Did you like all the smut? How much more do you actually want? I have no problem writing more all day long (I'm such a perv). You want to see Harry topping? The sex scene is _very_ loosely based on episode one, season one of "Queer as Folk" the US version.

Oh, and did you hear the good news?

Dumbledore is GAY! JK said so!!!!! I'm so happy! I may even put in into my story! (Would you guys want that??) Apparently he was in love with Grindelwald. That's so sad. Poor Dumbles. This is the first time I feel really bad for the guy.


	26. Chapter 26

A lot of very nice reviews for the last chapter! Thanks! I try to take all wished into consideration.

Enjoy the chapter!

-:-

After Harry had left Severus paced the room for a while, his brow furrowed and his fists clenching. He felt so conflicted. On the one hand he had never felt so _happy_ before. It was a strange sensation. One thought kept popping up in his head: _'Harry loves me.'_ Memories of last night assailed him constantly. He could hardly believe his luck. He wanted to pinch himself. Harry had been so receptive and appreciative, their lovemaking something Severus had never experienced before. His past experiences were practically ugly in comparison.

Then there was the other part of him. The part that wanted to rage and scream and curse everything within sight. Dumbledore, that meddling old _bastard,_ had once again involved himself in the lives of others. The man was a hopeless romantic. How could he gamble Severus' very sanity like that? If Harry had rejected him openly it would have destroyed him far more than living the rest of his life in ignorance would have.

But Harry hadn't rejected him. That knowledge didn't help his anger, though. Severus abruptly stopped pacing and went to the door, pulling it open sharply and striding through. He didn't stop until he was by the gargoyle. He debated if he should take a deep breath and walk in with a slightly more rational head on his shoulders, but then he thought why the hell would he want that? So he snarled the password and walked up the stairs. He went straight in, forgetting to knock, or rather pointedly not bothering to. Dumbledore, the smug bastard, was sitting behind his enormous desk as usual, a bloody tray of tea for _two_ in front of him. Severus wasn't going to go anywhere near that tea. He strode forward until he was towering over Dumbledore, only it wasn't working very well, because the desk was so hopelessly large.

"Severus," Dumbledore said jovially as if Severus was just there for a nice little chat. It was the final of a whole field of straws and Severus glared in a way that would have made Slytherin himself run for the hills.

"This is beyond anything you have ever done before," he declared, his voice deceptively calm. Dumbledore's eyes widened for a moment in surprise, but then softened when he realised what Severus was talking about; that was something at least.

"I could not stand by and let you suffer when I had the opportunity to help you," he said gravely.

"You had no right!" Severus shouted, past all patience. He whirled around and started pacing the length of the office. "You risked everything that was only mine to risk. Not only that, but you told a student of mine to violate my privacy and gave him the means to do it! You sat there on your throne and _lied_ to me every time I came here, advising me to '_get to know Harry',_ to tell him that_ I love him_." Severus paused in his rant and focused on Dumbledore. The old man looked truly sad, but he wasn't looking nearly as guilty as Severus wanted him to. "What if the only outcome of your little scheme was that Harry showed everybody what a horrible and gross Potions Master they had?"

"You know that would not have happened, nor will it, even if Harry doesn't love you." Severus nodded his head, conceding that point, but it was the principal of the thing!

"Fine, so no one would have known about my personal life, _except for Harry!_ Did you think, for one moment, that I would want to live the rest of my life with that boy _knowing _I was pining away for him like some love-sick witch? I have very rarely understood your logic, but this completely baffles the mind!"

"I only wanted to give you the chance for happiness. You have every right to be angry with me, of course." Dumbledore was finally beginning to look guilty, and a little uncertain. Severus realised the man didn't know if his feelings had been returned.

"I _know_ I have every right to be angry with you!" Severus raged. "I have every right not to speak with you ever again!" Dumbledore only nodded at this and Severus sighed tiredly. Being angry was hard work, and he knew that ultimately it was completely pointless. Still, he wasn't going to let the man off that easily. He walked forward and slumped down into a chair, burying his face in his hands in what he hoped was a dejected manner.

"I am truly sorry, Severus," Dumbledore said softly. "Can you tell me what Harry said to you? What happened last night?" Oh, the man was desperate now, wasn't he? Severus was not going to give him any details, however.

"Didn't you hear me? I am not speaking to you, except when I want to vent my anger," he replied, sitting up and leaning back so he could glare at Dumbledore more effectively. "You are, beyond a doubt, the most conniving, meddling, old coot in existence!" he snarled. I would prefer to never see you again-" And there, finally: Dumbledore looked defeated and truly guilty. It wasn't the satisfying sight Severus had envisioned. He quickly finished his sentence. "If it wasn't for the fact that your little plan worked, probably as perfectly as you imagined." Dumbledore looked more surprised than Severus had ever seen him, and _that_ was satisfying. "Apparently Harry witnessed Blaise Zabini coming to my rooms and flooed to Hogwarts in a jealous rage," Severus drawled, relaxing back in his chair. He couldn't keep his drawl up, however, when he added softly: "He professed his love for me and told me I was stuck with him for the rest of our lives."

"Severus!" Dumbledore exclaimed happily. He was beaming as he stood up and came round the desk. Before Severus knew it he was being pulled up from his chair and into a hug. Counting the one hug from Mrs. Weasley, and the 'hugs' from Harry last night, this would be the third person to do this in all of Severus' life. He patted the man's back awkwardly and when Dumbledore pulled away he was sure he saw the old wizard discreetly wipe away a tear. "You fooled me good, Severus," Dumbledore laughed. He shook his head fondly. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Severus said formally.

"I _am_ sorry I went behind your back, but you must agree that you can't argue with results!" Severus rolled his eyes over-dramatically and sat down again as Dumbledore went back to his seat. "So," Dumbledore said casually as he poured the tea. "How did it go last night?" Severus barely managed to suppress his groan.

"I am still not answering that question," he ground out.

"Come now, I didn't mean any of _those_ details," Dumbledore said with a pointed look over his half-moon spectacles. Severus found himself flushing. "I merely meant how you left things this morning. You are both very stubborn young men, not to mention rather hot-headed." At Severus' incredulous expression Dumbledore chuckled. "At least when it comes to each other," Dumbledore added for his benefit.

"Everything went fine… I…" Severus found himself at a loss of what to say to Dumbledore. Should he say he was happy? Ecstatic? That they had had a _very_ nice morning and a loving kiss goodbye? The words seemed absolutely foreign to him and he wondered if he should pinch himself just to make sure it hadn't all been a dream after all. "Things went very well," he settled for. Dumbledore smiled rather knowingly.

"I'm very glad to hear it."

"Of course you are," Severus said with a snort. "Your plan succeeded."

"I only wish your happiness, the both of you mean a lot to me. And trust me, when it comes to the saying 'It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all'… well, I have never agreed with that sentiment." Severus noted the sad eyes and the way Dumbledore slowly stirred his tea without taking a sip. Silence reigned, but not uncomfortable, just heavy with meaning and memories.

"I am sorry," Severus said, finding it very lacking. Dumbledore waved him off.

"It was long ago now, Severus, I am so old now I scarcely remember it." Severus knew that was a lie, but he wasn't going to call Dumbledore on it. Instead he sipped his tea and thought about who this person could have been, who captured the heart of a man like Albus Dumbledore, but did not give theirs in return.

xxx

Remus and Harry went up to the drawing room, where they found Mr. and Mrs. Weasley talking in hushed whispers. Harry was suddenly acutely reminded of what their son had done upon finding out about his sexuality. Had Ron gotten his prejudices from his parents? Remus leaned over to whisper in Harry's ear. He was only a few inches taller then Harry now.

"I think we should tell them, but it's up to you," he said. Harry nodded, not sure what he was saying yes to. The Weasleys suddenly noticed their presence. Remus looked at Harry, his eyes silently asking permission and Harry nodded again. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to say anything at that point. "Wonderful news," Remus said, smiling softly at the pair on the couch. "Harry is in love, and his feelings are returned."

"And this person is… Severus?" Molly Weasley asked, her voice uncertain, but luckily not horrified. Remus nodded, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder and grounding him. Harry couldn't help but see flashes of Ron's laughing face. He tried so hard to only remember the good times with his friend, but right now all he could remember was those last few months at Hogwarts, and especially his last couple of days.

"Yes," Remus said. "I think they suit each other, and I know Severus will be good to him." Harry looked up and met the soft eyes of Remus. He felt overwhelming gratitude towards the calm and wise werewolf. Remus would always be there for him to snap at anyone who would dare hurt his cub, even if said cub was all grown up. "I wish them all the happiness in the world. Merlin knows, if anyone deserves it it's our Harry and Severus."

"Oh…" Remus and Harry looked over to the Weasleys. Both the read-heads looked a little lost. They obviously didn't know how to react, especially in the face of Remus' heartfelt approval. Molly looked flustered. She tried speaking again. "Well, whatever makes you happy, Harry," she said with a strained smile. It was more than Harry had hoped for, as he was just glad they seemed to be trying. Mr. Weasley coughed, glancing at his wife.

"Yes, of course, Harry, if that's what you want…"

"It is," Harry assured them immediately. "I love Severus very much." This seemed to calm them somewhat, but Harry still felt awkward.

"Well," Mrs. Weasley clapped her hands together. "I'll go get lunch started, shall I? Arthur, you should go to work now that Harry's back." Harry flushed as he realised how much they had all worried about him. He hoped it wouldn't change now that they knew. The Weasleys both left after awkward pats on his shoulders, though their smiles seemed genuine. Remus sighed.

"The wizarding world has more than just one prejudice to overcome. The Weasleys had some pretty screwed views about werewolves before they met me too." Harry looked surprised at this and Remus smiled. "But they got over it, just like they'll get over this once they see that you're still Harry and that you're happy." Harry nodded, once again grateful for his wise friend. "Ron was young and impulsive, but maybe even he would have seen the error of his ways if he had been granted more time."

"Yeah," Harry said thickly, not wanting to think about Ron.

"I'll just go up and check on Sirius, okay?" Harry nodded and was surprised again when Remus embraced him. He hugged the man back and breathed in the quiet strength deeply, letting go with a small smile. He watched the other man go and then settled down in front of the fireplace.

xxx

"Sirius?" Remus poked his head in the door. His lover was sitting on the bed, brooding. Remus stepped inside and came to stand in front of the bed. Sirius wasn't looking at him.

"How can you just-… just accept _Snivellus_ like that? He's always been awful to you."

"Don't you think it's time you let go of that old nick-name?" Remus retorted. "You're being childish."

"Am I?" Sirius asked. He shook his head. "I'm not though. How the hell do we know that greasy git cares for Harry at all?"

"We have to trust Harry's judgement," Remus answered at once. Sirius finally looked up at him.

"The kid's still young. He's never had a boyfriend! Snape could easily trick him!"

"Sirius," Remus said in that calming voice he liked to use when his mate got agitated. It was ironic, really, that the werewolf was always calming the normal wizard. He sat down on the bed. "Harry may not have experience, but he's not stupid."

"I know that!" Sirius cried defensively. "Stop talking to me like I'm four years old," he grumbled, causing Remus to smile fondly.

"Sirius, I know you, and what you're doing is pointless. You would never sacrifice your relationship with Harry just because you don't approve of his boyfriend."

"Merlin, Snape… boyfriend," Sirius moaned, bowing his head. Remus rolled his eyes. He was used to this kind of melodrama. Remus scooted closer and nuzzled into the hair just behind Sirius' right ear.

"And you are my boyfriend," Remus whispered, kissing right below the ear. Sirius sighed contently.

"I thought I'm the one who uses sex as a distraction," he commented even as he turned his head and captured the other's lips with his. Remus chuckled lightly when they parted.

"Who says I'm offering sex?" he asked. Sirius promptly growled and tackled a laughing Remus onto the bed, pinning the grinning werewolf down. Sirius leaned down and they kissed hungrily, but neither took it any further. Not in the middle of the day with Harry downstairs and Molly no doubt calling for lunch in a few moments. When they broke apart Sirius looked gravely (so as to use another word than 'seriously') down at Remus.

"If Snape hurts our Harry then he's going to wish he was never born."

"I know," Remus said, reaching up and cupping a stubble-covered cheek. "But you can only kill Harry's boyfriend after Harry himself has a go, because I have no doubt that he's well capable of dealing with it himself." Sirius rolled his eyes, but didn't protest. Suddenly he got an odd look in his eyes Remus had never seen before.

"I wish you weren't my boyfriend," Sirius said suddenly, his voice sad. Remus frowned, not understanding, but not jumping to any conclusions either. He stroked Sirius' cheek, waiting for the man to continue. "I wish you were my husband." Remus' lips parted slightly in surprise. "I'm sorry," Sirius said suddenly, shaking his head as if to clear it, the strange look gone now. "I shouldn't have said that. You know me, always blurting things out. Forget I said anything." Sirius made to get off, but Remus pulled him down for another passionate kiss. Remus always _loved_ it when Sirius blurted things out. It was how they got together in the first place.

"I would love it if we could be married," Remus said when they parted, Sirius now lying completely on top of him. Of course, they couldn't be married, not only because of laws against werewolves, but against gays as well. The light that shone in Sirius' eyes, however, was more than enough promise for Remus. "We should go downstairs," Remus said reluctantly. "You need to apologise to Harry." Sirius nodded, also reluctantly, and they both got up. Hand in hand they made their way downstairs. They found Harry writing a letter in the drawing room. He looked up when they came in.

"I'm writing to Hermione and Draco," he said, casting a slightly unsure glance at Sirius. "I hope I can tell them next Sunday, but I thought I'd prepare them."

"Listen, Harry," Sirius began as he came forward. Harry rose to meet him. "I'm sorry if I scared you. I'll always love and support you, you know that right? It was just a bit of a shock." Harry's relieved smile made Sirius feel even guiltier for worrying his godson.

"So, you aren't going to kill Severus next time you see him?"

"No…" Harry narrowed his eyes. "If he hurts you then I can't be responsible for my actions, I'm just saying!" Harry laughed and Sirius grabbed him and hugged him close. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" Sirius asked. "I mean… last night." Harry pulled away quickly, and thanks to his blush Sirius knew he had guessed correctly: His godson had lost his virginity last night. To _Snape_.

"Don't embarrass him," Remus chided. Harry sat down again and busied himself with his letter. Remus sat down beside him and Sirius took the chair.

"He knows he can tell us anything," Sirius said. "He's always asked us about stuff before."

"This is a little different," Remus pointed out.

"I just want to make sure Snape didn't hurt him!" Sirius exclaimed, then quieted again when Remus gave him a look that promised pain if he didn't let it go.

"It was fine," Harry suddenly spoke up in a slightly strangled voice. "I wasn't hurt."

"Just fine?"

"Sirius!"

"I think Mrs. Weasley's calling," Harry said quickly, getting up and rushing from the room. At Remus exasperated stare Sirius exclaimed:

"What?" Remus just rolled his eyes and went after Harry. "Sex with Snape…." Sirius shuddered, but then suddenly got an idea. Had he been in dog form his ears would have perked up. He quickly got up and left the room, but instead of going down to the kitchen he went upstairs to Harry's room…

xxx

Harry called Sirius to come down for lunch, but got no answer. He went upstairs to the library and got no answer, so he went up another set of stairs to the bedrooms. He was just about to call again when he saw his own bedroom door open and frowned. He always shut his door after him, it was something he always did, out of habit. He went and looked through the small opening. Sirius was there looking down at his desk, which was as usual covered in drawings. Harry gasped, however, when he realised his notebook was there as well, open.

"Sirius!" he cried as he burst into the room. The wizard in question spun around.

"Oh, I was just-"

"Yeah, I know what you were just," Harry muttered. He stalked forwards and elbowed his way past Sirius, only to gasp again at the sight of one of his more daring drawings of Severus, one made after he had seen the man in the Scios, naked. He quickly closed the book and turned to glare at Sirius.

"I just wanted to see some of your drawings," Sirius said sheepishly.

"But not my _notebook_," Harry said sternly, finding that keeping his anger was the only way to keep from blushing. "That's private."

"Yeah, I guessed as much, but I didn't know Harry, I'm sorry… I wanted to see that drawing of Snape you did… I thought maybe…" Sirius sighed and ducked his head. "Maybe I would understand why you like him."

"Oh," Harry said lamely, finding he really couldn't be that mad. This meant the blush was threatening to emerge. "Well, you shouldn't snoop around in my things," he tried.

"I know, I'm really sorry. I won't do it again." Harry suddenly had to fight the urge to smile. There was a time when Harry didn't even own any 'things' nor had anyone to respect his privacy. It was nice to know Sirius would keep his word to, just because Harry asked him not to snoop.

"Okay then… let's go eat lunch." Harry started for the door, but Sirius' question made him pause.

"Does he really look like that?" Harry lost the battle with his blush. "Because if he does… I totally understand." Harry gaped at Sirius, but the grin on the older man's face was too mischievous and contagious. Harry punched him in the arm and Sirius slung it over his shoulder as they went downstairs again to eat. On the last staircase before the kitchen Sirius leaned over and whispered: "Does Hermione know you drew Draco in the nude?"

xxx

Harry was anxious all week. Everyone was being great, even Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, simply by not making a big deal out of it. The only person Harry wanted to make a big deal out of it wasn't doing anything, apparently. Harry had debated whether or not to send a letter to Severus, but he had been at a loss of what to write. He hadn't heard a thing from Hogwarts all week, and he didn't have the Scios anymore, something that was really frustrating. Harry grew even more irritated by the knowing and sympathetic looks Remus kept sending him, and the way Sirius kept asking about the drawings. Honestly, the man was a total perv. They were art! Harry had insisted, and not wanking material, though he hadn't been able to use those particular words while speaking to his godfather.

Finally, Sunday rolled around and Harry got up earlier than ever before. He flooed to Hogwarts without breakfast, knowing he wouldn't be able to eat anything. Dumbledore was there when he arrived, smiling and twinkling.

"Harry, my boy, may I offer my congratulations? I am so happy for you and Severus." Harry blinked, surprised Severus had actually told the Headmaster. Then again the man could have guessed.

"Eh, thanks," Harry said.

"I'm researching the Scios Totalus still," Dumbledore went on. "I want to be certain nothing goes wrong when we put them together. Severus told me of how they fell off. But I won't keep you any longer. Off you go." Harry felt winded as he was ushered out of the office. Before Dumbledore closed the door, however, he added: "Oh, Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger would like to see you after your lesson. Room of Requirement." Harry was left alone in he corridor, and he had to hastily pull his cloak on as a couple of students passed by. Shaking his head a little he turned towards the stairs. He was feeling a little nervous when he reached the dungeons, but went inside like he always did. The living room was empty.

"Severus?" he called softly, taking off the cloak and draping it over the arm of the couch. A door opened, the one leading to the Potions Lab, and Severus came out. They stood a moment just watching each other. Once again Harry felt the loss of the Scios, but reminded himself that he knew Severus, and should be able to guess what the man was thinking by now. The moment the thought passed through his mind he realised exactly what Severus was thinking. The man was probably as unsure as he was, but Harry held the cards because Severus had not had the privilege to look into Harry's mind and see the love there. Harry walked over to Severus with a smile, noting how Severus' shoulders lowered slightly as the man let go of some tension.

"Hi," Harry said, tilting his head up for a kiss. Severus met him halfway and it was bliss unlike the night before, because of the growing familiarity and the knowledge that Harry would get to do this for as long as they lived.

"Good morning," Severus murmured when they parted, though they remained close. "Harry… during the lesson-"

"Don't worry," Harry interrupted, knowing exactly what Severus meant. "You need a professional distance to teach, I understand, but the moment our time is up all bets are off." Harry's cheeky grin made Severus' lip curl in a half-smile.

"Likewise," he said softly. "Did you speak with Dumbledore before you came down?" Harry nodded.

"He congratulated me… I,uh… had to tell everybody at Grimmauld Place." Severus' showed his surprise on his face, but he didn't look angry like Harry had feared.

"Even the Weasleys?" Severus enquired. Harry opened his mouth to say 'of course,' but then suddenly realised Severus would know about Ron even though Harry had never told him, he would have seen it in the Scios.

"Yeah, I had to," he said instead. "They seem… okay with it, I guess. Sirius… is trying to understand." Severus made a noncommittal grunt and then led the way back into the lab for their lesson.

-:-

Sorry this was a little short and a little boring perhaps. I just had to get the reactions in (well, except for Hermione and Draco, but that'll be quick in the next chapter). More slashy goodness in the next one, and Sirius confronts Snape (you didn't really think he's completely fine with it, just like that, did you? (smirk))

Guess what?!

I now know _exactly_ how Voldemort is going to be defeated (in theory at least) and how they find out and stuff. I've been pondering on and off since you guys said you wanted an original way to kill Voldy. And today it just came to me! I was walking back from Uni and I just stopped dead. It was like lightening had struck, which is how most of my story ideas come to me, and people bumped into me! Lol. I think it's good, but you'll have to wait to find out!


	27. Chapter 27

Sorry if this update wasn't as quick as usual. I am at home right now because we are celebrating Halloween early (because technically we only use it as an excuse to party and not all the kids go out trick-or-treating since the whole concept is pretty new over here). Next week things will slow down even more I'm afraid since I have three essays and two exams to do before the 19 of November. Sometimes I really wish there was less history to learn…

Note: So sorry to those who want to see Harry topping. That's another reason for the delay. I wanted to write it but Severus apparently wouldn't hear of it! I was trying to get the characters to do the scenes like I wanted them, but they just wouldn't budge. Severus has a few issues I'm afraid. This chapter will clear things up. Don't worry: Top!Harry will come eventually!

-:-

Harry and Severus worked diligently on Potions before Severus drilled Harry in how to use them in battle. It was a fairly normal lesson, the sly glances and brush of hands notwithstanding. Afterwards Harry took Severus' hand in his and led him straight to the bedroom.

"Shouldn't we talk first?" Severus enquired. Harry just shook his head and started smoothing his hands down the other man's chest.

"No, we have a lot of work to do," he said in what he hoped was a sexy voice. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you calling this work," he drawled, though his hands had already gone to work on Harry's shirt.

"I only meant that we have a lot of fantasies to act out," Harry answered, pressing against his lover.

"Hmmm," Severus hummed, nipping at Harry's neck. "And which one is on the agenda for today?"

"Ah, eh," Harry stuttered breathlessly as Severus used his knee to rub Harry just right. "I'd like to explore… starting with your cock." Severus moaned and hurriedly got Harry's clothes off, desperate to touch that skin again. This was one of the few times when he _wasn't_ going to complain about Harry's Gryffindor curiosity. It would serve them both very well in this room.

Harry proved to be an expert explorer.

xxx

Much later Harry emerged from the bedroom slightly dazed, followed by a smug Severus.

"I have to go see Draco and Hermione," Harry said apologetically. He moved close and tilted his head up for a kiss, which he received eagerly. "Can I see you before next Sunday?"

"Can't wait a week, Harry?" Severus asked, his eyes telling Harry just how much that pleased him.

"Definitely not," Harry said. He kissed his way to Severus' ear. "Why don't you come to Grimmauld Place and you can… pose for me?" A shiver went through Severus, causing Harry to smile slyly.

"I… will consider it," Severus answered, pushing Harry away, but not before stealing one last kiss. "Go meet your friends."

"See you," Harry said and walked with a lightness in his step he only seemed to have in Severus' rooms. He waved goodbye at the door before he pulled the cloak on and disappeared. Severus stood alone in his rooms, feeling like it had all been a wondrous dream. But everything had been very, very real. Harry, the vibrant young man who owned Severus' heart wanted him, and Severus was not _ever_ going to refuse the Gryffindor. Still, there was something not quite right with their relationship, Severus mused, even while a shiver of pleasure went down his spine at the thought of the word 'relationship' with Harry. He walked into his Potions Lab and started gathering ingredients.

Harry was still very young, Severus knew, and like he had told himself when he had first discovered that Harry lusted after him; Severus had no interest in bedding someone who could not be a completely equal partner. There was still something that made Harry… not quite there yet. It was probably because Severus still felt like it was his job to protect the boy, whereas he couldn't imagine Harry taking care of him. Saving him, perhaps, Harry saved everybody, but that was _because_ he was young and reckless. He still had some growing up to do, at least in Severus' mind.

Of course this did not meant Severus would ask Harry that they wait or anything like that. He wasn't that stupid. He just hoped Harry didn't try to make good on that promise involving the dining room table before he was well and truly ready, otherwise it would just be slightly ridiculous. So for now Severus was quite happy in educating Harry further and making sure Harry grew into the right sort of man.

xxx

Harry made his way to the Room of Requirement, careful not to bump into anyone along the way. Once there he walked past three times thinking of a place to meet his friends. The door appeared and inside was a very comfortable looking room with a big couch and a comfy armchair in front of a fireplace. Draco and Hermione were seated close together on the couch… kissing.

The words of greeting Harry had been about to say died on his lips. He watched as Draco pressed Hermione into the arm of the couch. Hermione's hands were clutching at Draco's head and neck, while his were around her waist. It was quite a snog, Harry thought, when suddenly Draco backed off, placing small kisses on Hermione's cheeks and nose as he drew back slightly.

"We need to stop," Draco said with obvious reluctance. He leaned in for another kiss as if he couldn't help himself. Hermione chuckled.

"Of course," she said even as she drew him in for another heated snog. Harry was sure he heard Draco murmur '_insatiable Gryffindor'_ somewhere in there. He cleared his throat loudly and the two parted, their head snapping round to look at him.

"Oh, hello Harry," Hermione said sheepishly as he pushed Draco away. The Slytherin glared at her slightly, but when he settled further away he seemed to decide to look smug for Harry's sake instead.

"Do come in, Harry," he drawled.

"Sure I'm not interrupting something?" Harry asked as he stepped inside and closed the door. He took the chair across from them and raised an eyebrow. Draco started laughing.

"You've been spending way too much time in the dungeons when you can pull off an expression like that and not look completely ridiculous," he said. "And I'm wondering if that isn't the very reason we are meeting right now…?" Draco raised his own eyebrow, and Harry had to admit, the Slytherin did look more sophisticated doing it. Hermione elbowed him in the side.

"Let Harry tell us on his own time," she hissed. Draco rolled his eyes, but surprisingly fell quiet. They both looked expectantly at Harry, who swallowed nervously.

"I-…" he took a breath. These were his friends, they would understand better than anybody. "I'm in a relationship… with Severus."

"I knew it!" Draco exclaimed. Hermione shot him an irritated look, before turning back to Harry with a kind expression.

"We're very happy for you," she said. Harry blinked, hardly hearing Draco's chuckling.

"How did you know?"

"Come on," Draco said, shaking his head. "With those drawings? I've never seen so many dark and brooding pictures of one man's eyes."

"So you're both okay with it?"

"Okay with you dating my godfather?" Draco asked, his eyes narrowed. Hermione elbowed him again. "Ow, leave my ribs alone," he shot at her. "Yes. We're fine with it," he added to Harry.

"Oh." And with that rather lame response they started talking about other things. Harry was caught up with the goings on at Hogwarts, like which Slytherins had gone to Severus, which Gryffindors still thought ill of Harry and which ones were beginning to question the rumours surrounding his expulsion. Harry told them about his training and they, both strangely enough, grilled him in seventh year material. It was obvious that Hermione had found her match when it came to knowledge because at one point they were in disagreement over some small fact and neither would back down until Harry suggested they just go to the library since he had to get back. He still head them arguing as they disappeared round the corner. He didn't fancy being near whichever one of them lost the argument.

When Harry reached the Headmaster's office he knocked since he heard voices inside. Dumbledore called him in and Harry was surprised to see Lucius Malfoy seated in front of the large desk. Both wizards were drinking tea. Harry hadn't seen the elder Malfoy since that day in the Hospital Wing. The man looked much like before, though he seemed more relaxed than Harry had ever seen him. Surprising Harry, he rose formally to greet the new arrival.

"Harry, come in, I trust you had a pleasant meeting with your friends?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, sir," Harry answered, knowing the old wizard wanted to know that everything had gone fine.

"And how is my son, Mr. Potter?" Malfoy asked, nodding slightly in greeting.

"He's fine." Harry wasn't exactly sure how to act around a polite Malfoy, but since he had gotten used to Draco he was sure he would get used to Lucius too. Dumbledore waved them both into their seats again and poured Harry tea. Apparently he wasn't going to get back to Grimmauld Place anytime soon.

"Lucius and I were just discussing the Scios Totalus," Dumbledore dived in without preamble. Harry noted the use of Malfoy's first name. The blond aristocrat was studying Harry with curiosity. "We have not yet brought them together, but I think we have arrived at a solution to our main problem."

"No," Lucius interrupted gently, turning his attention back to Dumbledore. "You arrived at a solution. I, if you recall, did not agree at all." His tone wasn't rude, but it was clear he did not like it when Dumbledore tried to ignore whatever argument they had just had.

"Oh, yes, of course," Dumbledore said jovially. "Perhaps Harry will be able to convince you?" Harry grew slightly alarmed at that, especially when those bright blue eyes focused on him, along with cold grey. "Peter Pettigrew owes you a life-debt, does he not?" Harry was momentarily startled by the question, but answered readily enough.

"Yes."

"It may not be enough," Lucius seemed to voice what was an old argument. "He will he left unsupervised for a long period of time."

"I think Harry will agree with me that Pettigrew will not have the strength to resist the debt," Dumbledore said. Harry wasn't sure if he was comfortable being drawn into the dispute like this, but at the same time he felt elated that they actually wanted, and put some stock in, his opinion.

"Pettigrew was an Animagus, was he not?" Lucius asked, obviously knowing the answer. "He must have some measure of power if he managed that feat during his school years."

"His power has been usurped by Voldemort since then, nor do I think it was strong to begin with. He did not resist the Mark, did he?" Dumbledore pointed out. "He was quite quick to betray his friends, without whose help he would never have gained the ability to transform at all." Lucius tilted his head, neither acknowledging nor dismissing. He sighed and looked at Harry.

"You have been in Pettigrew's presence. Do you think he is capable of much resistance?" Harry didn't answer immediately. He was trying to actually figure out what and why they were asking.

"I'm not sure. What exactly is it you want him to do?"

"To attach the Scios to Voldemort on your behalf," Lucius said, staring intently at Harry. "It must either be someone you have complete control over, or you must do it yourself. It won't work for you otherwise." Harry swallowed as he took in the words. He had enjoyed watching Severus… probably more than was healthy, but he was sure he would not be enjoying spying on Voldemort. And not only spying, but delving into the man's mind with both the Scios together.

"I…" he trailed off. Wormtail didn't seem like a strong wizard to Harry, but appearances could be deceiving in the wizarding world. He remembered how the man had grovelled at Voldemort's feet on the night of the Dark Lord's resurrection. He had been in rat form for over a decade and then gone straight to Voldemort… he didn't seem like a man who could do a lot on his own.

"The life-debt's power resides in you also, Harry," Dumbledore cut into Harry's thoughts gently. "You must force him to pay his debt."

"I can do that," Harry answered, meeting the Headmaster's eyes. Dumbledore nodded. "I know I can."

"He is a fully grown wizard, an Animagus. Granted, he is a coward and not the brightest lumos on a wand, but Mr. Potter has only just come of age," Lucius would not be so easily convinced.

"Harry is a very strong wizard," Dumbledore informed him. "Stronger than most in fact." Harry tried not to squirm in his seat as the two men gazed at him, as if trying to see this extra power. He never thought of himself as powerful, though he had to admit to doing things normal wizard couldn't do. Like learning the Patronus spell at thirteen, surviving a tournament for seventh-years, meeting Voldemort several times, killing a giant Basilisk, and let's not forget the wandless glamours he had until recently been using almost subconsciously since the age of five. With all the training he had undergone since then, Harry was positive he could take on Wormtail.

"And I have only your word on that," Lucius pointed out. "I am not ready to risk this entire plan on a wizard with less brains and courage than the rat he turns into if I am not certain the boy can handle him." Harry suppressed the need to say sullenly 'I'm not a boy.'

"I'm afraid giving a demonstration of Harry's raw power would be impossible, not to mention dangerous." Harry heard Lucius make a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort.

"I can handle Pettigrew," Harry felt the need to say. "I'm not about to take unnecessary risks either, believe it or not. I've been trained well. I can do this." Dumbledore beamed from behind his desk, while Lucius looked more curious than sceptical, for which Harry was relieved.

"And who has trained you?" Lucius enquired.

"Sirius, Remus and Severus, not to mention my duelling sessions with your son," Harry said confidently, staring right back. Obviously Dumbledore thought it important that Lucius have faith in the plan, so Harry did what, hopefully, Dumbledore wanted.

"Severus, you say?" Lucius said. "I have not spoken to my friend in quite some time. I must remember to go down and see him afterwards."

"But first we must enlighten Harry on how to utilise the debt." Dumbledore wasn't looking happy anymore, while Lucius' face took on a grim expression.

"I suspect neither of us are too happy about this solution," Lucius commented.

"No, but there is no other way to get hold of Pettigrew without raising Voldemort's suspicions," Dumbledore said. "There is going to be an attack on Malfoy Manor." Harry blinked, looking to Lucius.

"When? How do you know?"

"We do not know the exact date," Lucius said, frowning. "Bellatrix told Narcissa that she should escape. Apparently the crazy witch has some sense of sisterly love left in her. Narcissa of course informed me at once. It will happen within two weeks."

"Why Malfoy Manor? Voldemort's been so quiet lately."

"Yes," Dumbledore nodded. "He is been desperate to get new recruits, he has even been trying to get into contact with the seventh-year Slytherins. They have been kidnapping a lot more than during the last war as well, using Imperious Curse no doubt and forcing them to take the Mark. Now, Voldemort wants the magical artefacts at Malfoy Manor, but probably he wants revenge on his once most loyal servant more."

"So what are we going to do?" Harry asked.

"The Ministry will not spare any Aurors protecting Malfoy Manor," Dumbledore went on. "The Order will be gathered inside the Manor and engage the Death Eaters outside once they breach the first set of wards around the grounds. It will be your job to corner Pettigrew during the fighting and activate the life-debt. He will most likely be in rat form so he can get through the wards on the house and get hold of some of the artefacts, or take down the wards from the inside. It is the only way to use the debt without Voldemort knowing we have used it."

"If the Dark Lord even knows of it," Lucius supplied. "I doubt Pettigrew is keen to tell his master he owes Harry Potter a life-debt." Dumbledore nodded his agreement.

"All right," Harry said slowly, going through the plan in his head. "How do we know when to gather at Malfoy Manor?"

"We don't. That is why we are moving the Order members who are not already at the Manor." Harry had often wondered how Lucius Malfoy felt about his house being turned into an Order stronghold. He kept his thoughts to himself, however.

"Does that include myself and Sirius?" Harry asked. Dumbledore nodded.

"Yes, and I suspect Severus will insist on coming as well."

"He can't," Harry said immediately, feeling fear rise up in him. "What about his classes? The seventh-years loyal to Voldemort will tell him Severus is gone!"

"That is why _I _will insist he stay at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said with a small, understanding smile. "But I must warn you, he will probably floo to the Manor the moment the attack begins." Harry felt his heart sink. He did not want Severus anywhere near Malfoy Manor. If Voldemort wanted revenge on Lucius, how much did the madman want revenge on Severus, who had been an active spy for far longer?

"Draco will probably feel the same way," Lucius murmured in an uncharacteristically sad tone. Dumbledore looked sympathetically at him. "But he's seventeen now," Lucius said in a resigned tone. "He has the right to protect his home if he so desires..."

"Why don't you go speak with him?" Dumbledore suggested. "I will send Fawkes to tell him to meet you at Severus' quarters. That way you can all talk." Harry was _very_ glad Dumbledore didn't suggest Lucius go find Draco for himself. Who knew what door the man would open to find his son snogging a certain bushy-haired Gryffindor?

"Yes, thank you," Lucius said, rising from his chair. Dumbledore did the same and they shook hands. "You may start sending the Order immediately." Dumbledore nodded his thanks and sent the man on his way, Fawkes disappearing in a burst of flames a moment later. Harry sat brooding for a long moment in silence, his brain coming up with ludicrous ways to try and keep Severus at Hogwarts at all costs.

"Why don't you go home and rest Harry?" Dumbledore said softly after a while. Harry looked up into sombre blue eyes. "We will discuss the plan in detail later." Harry nodded absentmindedly, resisting the urge to go back down to the dungeons and instead flooing back to Grimmauld Place. Sirius was seated at the kitchen table, playing a solitaire version of Exploding Snap. Molly was at the stove, unsurprisingly cooking.

"Hello, Harry dear," she said, smiling at him. He was glad she could still do that. She knew he must have just gotten back from Severus after all. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, starving," Harry said, suddenly realising it was true and that he hadn't had breakfast.

"Learn anything?" Sirius asked, his eyes on his cards.

"Yeah," Harry said, his voice suddenly thick. He didn't want Sirius anywhere near Malfoy Manor either. "Mostly Potions."

"A lot of good that'll do ya," Sirius grumbled. Harry didn't feel like arguing so he ignored him. Sirius was always in a hopeless mood on Sundays. It would hardly have gotten better now Sirius knew Harry and Severus were lovers.

"I think I'm just going to take a nap," Harry said, sending an apologetic glance towards Mrs. Weasley.

"If you're sure, dear," she said. "I'll bring something up later, yes?" Harry thanked her and went upstairs, falling down on his bed, his thoughts confused and unfocused. He didn't want Severus or Sirius, or anyone he knew to be at Malfoy Manor. What if Voldemort had managed to gain more Death Eaters than Dumbledore anticipated? But he also knew that what they were doing was important. There were probably all kinds of dark things at the Manor, and Lucius Malfoy was on their side now, and as Dumbledore had said in the Hospital Wing; the Light took care of their own no matter what. It felt like a lifetime ago that the last attack had happened. Would it always be like that? Would Harry feel older than Dumbledore before the war ended?

More and more his thoughts drifted to what he would find with the Scios. What secret did Voldemort want to protect to such a degree that he searched the world to find the Scios Totalus? Harry didn't think he wanted to know. His instincts told him the secret had something to do with how Voldemort survived all those years ago on Halloween night. The secret, perhaps, to immortality? Harry didn't want to know…

It was only a week before Halloween was once again upon them. Harry always felt like something big usually happened on Halloween, and he felt he knew that Voldemort would not sit still this year either.

Before he knew it he had been lying in bed for hours and Mrs. Weasley was knocking at the door, coming in bearing a lunch-tray for him.

xxx

On Tuesday Harry was sitting on his bed, still at Grimmauld Place, sketching. He hadn't known what he felt like drawing so he had ended up with a rather sour looking young boy with black hair and blue eyes, wearing a Slytherin uniform. He was just thinking the picture needed a proper background when he was sure he heard a shout from downstairs. He couldn't make out what was being yelled, but it had sounded almost like a bark…

He got up and flew down the stairs fast. He knew the shout must have been very loud for it came all the way from the kitchen. He skidded to a halt just inside the door.

Severus and Sirius were practically at each other's throats. Neither had raised their wands, but it was obvious that they were both shaking with the need to do so.

"Stop!" Harry yelled as he saw both of their wand hands twitch one inch too far. The pair whirled around to face him, and their expressions of rage fell.

xxx

Severus had held out a total of one whole day before he knew he had to see Harry again. The young man had asked him, after all, and who was he to refuse? On Tuesday, a little after lunch, he flooed to Grimmauld Place, ignoring the twinkling in Dumbledore's eyes as the flames consumed him. When he stopped spinning he stepped gracefully out of the fireplace and scowled. Black was seated at the kitchen table, alone, and reading the paper while eating a pear of all things. The juicy fruit made a horrible squelching sound as the mutt bit into it. Severus wanted to gag. Suddenly Black looking up and slurped, his eyes narrowing even as he put down the pear and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Severus sneered.

"I see you eat like a dog no matter which form you take, Black." The insult was out before Severus could even consider not uttering it. Insulting Black was second nature to him, and why should he stop just because the man was Harry's family? Harry wasn't around, so it hardly mattered.

"Shut up, Snivellus," Black snarled, getting out of his chair and coming round to stand in front of Severus.

"Original as always, Black," Severus drawled. Black abruptly stuck out his hand and _poked_ Severus in the chest.

"You get one thing straight, if you _ever_ hurt Harry I will make sure you-"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you," Severus hissed, feeling that familiar rage inside him from every encounter with one or more of the Marauders. He was surprised they had started fighting so quickly, but perhaps that was because they lacked supervision. "What I do is none of your business."

"It is my business when you're… _involved_ with my godson!" Severus would perhaps have loved to taunt Black over the slight hesitation before the word 'involved' but he would never debase what he had with Harry by insinuating something vulgar to Black.

"He is a grown man now, Black, and does what he wants. You are hardly the fatherly figure anyway. I'm pretty sure you fill the role of a muggle housewife in your relationship with the werewolf. You certainly spend enough time _in the house_."

"How do I know Harry is doing what he wants?" Black asked, ignoring Severus' gibe at Black's virtual imprisonment at Grimmauld Place. "I know he can fight Imperious, a spell which I'm sure your _intimately_ familiar with, but I'm also sure you know a thousand potions to suit your purposes without that spell!"

"One more word, Black, and I'll show you exactly how useful a potion can be in any situation!" Severus snarled, anger blaring hot inside him. He wanted to curse Black's tongue out so the man could never say such a horrible thing again.

"I'll say whatever I damn well please in MY HOUSE!" Black bellowed.

"Tell Harry I'll see him next Sunday," Severus sneered, knowing he had to remove himself from Black's presence before Unforgivable things happened.

"I WILL NOT!" Black yelled. "I don't want you anywhere near him!" Black was almost in his face now, and Severus could smell the sickly sweet pear on the man's breath. It warred with the image of Black as a carnivorous canine who was about to rip his throat out. Black's hand twitched and Severus' moved automatically in kind.

"Stop!" Severus' face paled when he saw Harry by the door. This would surely not end in his favour.

-:-

(cackles madly and rubs fingers together) No, seriously, I am really sorry about this cliffy. Every time I think I have just the right about of scenes for a chapter, one always drags on and cuts itself off so perfectly.

I'm going to try and get the next chapter out on Halloween night, 31st of October for those who don't celebrate it. After that I'm really going to have to buckle down and get some real work done so there will be less updates until November 19th. That's my last exam and that means I have a very looooong vacation for lots of fanfiction writing!

Note: Thank you to all of you who liked how I put in the Dumbledore/Grindlewald pairing. And for those of your wondering: Yes, I put that in because of what JK said.


	28. Chapter 28

I had a lot of problems with the start of this chapter. I wanted Harry to rage and scream for quite a while, but Severus knows how to handle him now, what with the Scios and all, and well… you'll see.

Thanks to all who reviewed. You rock my socks off! (sorry, listening to Tenacious D while writing…)

PLEASE BE WARNED: SLASHYNESS AHEAD.

-:-

Harry glared murderously at his godfather and lover. They stared back. Severus' expression was unreadable, but Sirius was looking somewhere between complete shock and a guilty puppy.

"You two are impossible, you know that?" Harry said at last. He didn't really know what to say, he was so frustrated with the whole situation. "How long exactly did it take for the both of you to turn into children?!" He wanted to turn around and leave them to it, but he also felt the need to go to Severus and just be near him. Both of these urges, however, were overridden by the need to shout some more.

"Harry," Sirius began, having interpreted Harry's pause as a chance for explanation or, more likely, excuses. Harry quickly held up his hand to stop him.

"I don't want to hear it," he said.

"But he started it!" Sirius cried. Harry stared at him in disbelief for a long moment. Sirius seemed to realise how childish his outburst had been and looked embarrassed.

"It takes two to argue," Harry said sternly, then he sighed tiredly. Hadn't he just been thinking about how the war made him feel old? Apparently his lover and godfather were going to help with that. Harry felt like Dumbledore's great-uncle at this point. "I never expected you to become buddies just because Severus and I are together." Harry did _not_ like the way Sirius flinched when he said that and glared hard at the man. "I did actually hope you could manage to be civil without adult supervision! Draco and me had just as bad a history, but when he moved in here we hardly fought at all! We kept out of each other's hair and then we became friends." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Merlin knows miracles like that won't happen here. You are both behaving like first-years!" Harry's frustration reached its peak when Severus' expression didn't change throughout his reprimand. "If you can't even be in the same room together without throwing pathetic insults at each other, how the _hell_ do you expect to work together in the Order?"

"We don't argue when there's a real fight going on," Sirius muttered. Harry just glared him into silence before continuing.

"You both need to pull yourselves together. Fast." He spun around and headed back upstairs, leaving the two "grown-ups" alone. He flopped down on the couch in the drawing room and glared at the ceiling.

xxx

Severus had been tense throughout Harry's little speech. He had fully expected the young man to throw him out. Another part of him had hoped Harry would yell more at Black. Harry had done neither of those things. He had pretty much yelled at them both equally, and he hadn't banished Severus from his life either.

"Shit," Black muttered, raking a hand through his thick, shoulder-length hair. Severus almost commented on the man's vocabulary, or lack thereof, but managed to purse his lips instead. "I suppose we should go up and apologize…" Severus had apologised to Harry before, more than once, but doing it in front of Black wasn't something he wished to do. Harry's word still echoed in his mind, however, and he knew they should. They had been acting childish. Even though the young man had been yelling he had sounded and looked very mature. When he had sighed he had looked almost old.

Severus didn't answer Black, but strode forward towards the stairs. He heard Black trailing behind and did not like it that he had his back turned to the mutt.

"Just so you know, Snape," Black suddenly spoke up as they ascended the stairs. "I will always despise you, but I won't sacrifice my relationship with Harry for anything, so I'll tolerate you up to a point."

"Always the noble Gryffindor," Severus said without turning back. "I shall return the favour of course." The truth was that Severus would have made himself be _nice_ to the man if Harry demanded it, simply because Severus wasn't entirely sure Harry would choose him if forced to do so. It scared the hell out of him. He would not lose what he had only just gotten a taste of.

"Harry," he said softly when he entered the drawing room, completely forgetting about Black's presence behind him. The young man on the couch sat up slowly, as if his bones were old and worn. He looked so tired and Severus wanted to lift whatever burden Harry carried… but of course some burdens could never be removed from this particular wizard. Severus walked forward and sat down beside Harry, turned sideways so he faced his lover. "Forgive me," he began. "Old habits die hard, but I shall not insult Black or anyone you love again from now on." It was a relatively easy promise to make. Severus knew how to hold his tongue in the most impossible of circumstances. He had held his tongue often enough during his school years when the Marauders had ganged up on him and it had been smarter to just stay silent. That was the main reason he could never let an opportunity pass him by now, because the band of miscreants no longer out-numbered him. He never actually counted Lupin, since the werewolf had never insulted him.

"You promise? Just like that?" Harry asked with a slightly dubious tone.

"I swear," Severus said. "You have my word." _'You have my heart. You have everything I am,'_ he thought, and he knew he would give Harry more if he so desired.

"Thank you," Harry said, smiling now. He leaned in and Severus couldn't think of a reason why he should refuse a kiss of all things. So he tilted his head and pressed his lips to Harry's, his nose touching Harry's cheek as always. He hated that, but Harry had never complained about his kisses yet. It wasn't until he registered a heavy breathing not coming from Harry or himself that Severus suddenly pulled back. He looked to the door and saw Black standing, arms folded tightly across his chest, and his face turned pointedly away from them. He looked as if he was holding himself together to keep from exploding.

"Sirius?" Harry asked quietly. The man looked at them.

"I swear I'll try, Harry," he said sincerely, looking a little desperate. "It's just-…" He made a vague gesture towards them.

"He's very good to me," Harry said, sending a quick, small smile at Severus, who for some reason felt his face heat up. Black didn't need to know these things, but Severus couldn't have told Harry to be quiet to save his own life at that point. "We love each other. I'm happy, and that's all that should matter." Black nodded, a tad reluctantly. He glanced at the door as if longing for something. Harry seemed to know. "Remus will be back tomorrow." Again Black nodded and Severus wondered just how much the wizard needed his calming werewolf. It was an odd thought, and an odd pair apparently. Was Black still damaged by his years in Azkaban, perhaps? It would explain a lot… especially the way he held himself at that moment, and the mood swings.

"You packed for tomorrow?" Black suddenly asked, now ignoring Severus' presence beside his godson.

"Yes, you?" Black nodded, a little glint in his eyes. The inhabitants of Grimmauld Place were being moved to Malfoy Manor tomorrow. Weasleys, an escaped convict and the Boy Who Lived, all living in Malfoy Manor? Severus wasn't going to miss it for the world. It was vital that he be there to see the look on Lucius' face. Since their meeting, which had included Draco, on Sunday they had revived their old friendship somewhat. Now that there was no doubt which side the both of them were on it was easier to simply talk, without having to watch what was being said.

"Well, I have something to show Severus, so excuse us," Harry suddenly said. He took Severus' hand in his. It was so warm Severus almost said something about it. Again his face flushed when he saw that Black noted it. So what if he allowed Harry to be affectionate? No one had ever been that with him before, so surely he was allowed?

"You're not… going upstairs?" Black asked alarmed. Harry glared.

"We are going to my room, yes."

"You're not-" Black cut himself off in mid-sentence. Harry rolled his eyes.

"For Merlin's sake! I'm just showing him my drawings! Not that it is any of your business." Black looked relieved and didn't say anything as Harry dragged Severus past him and up the stairs. "Like I would shag you with him practically listening at the door," he grumbled as he pulled Severus after him. "Honestly, he's acting like I'm fifteen again." Finally inside the room Harry closed the door, but didn't lock it. "He'll know if I spell it locked," he said apologetically to Severus.

"That's perfectly all right," Severus said, gazing at his lover, his boyfriend, curiously. "We are not only acting childish, but I seem to be feeling rather young as well." His lips quirked into an almost full-blown smile. "I admit I have never been dragged away from an angry guardian after being told no sex in my boyfriend's room." Harry laughed, reaching out to stroke down Severus' chest.

"Sirius is just frustrated by what he can't understand. But he will. He just needs to see that you love me… I know you don't want anyone to see any emotions from you, but Sirius is never going to be okay with us if he's not sure you'll never hurt me."

"And that is important to you," Severus stated, his hands going round Harry's waist. The young man nodded.

"Remus will help him along," he said. "He's the only one who can knock some sense into Sirius." Severus couldn't stand it any longer and leaned in for a kiss, but Harry's hands on his chest stopped him. "Do you want to see?" For a tingling moment Severus' mind came up with all sort of things he would like to _see_, but then he came crashing down and realised that Harry was talking about his drawings.

"Of course," he said. Harry stepped back and gestured for Severus to come to the desk. There were a lot of drawings scattered about, many of them half-finished, but all of them very good. He noticed one or two of himself. Harry picked up a closed notebook and Severus recognised it immediately. He looked at Harry, who had a slight blush to his cheeks.

"I suppose you've seen a lot of the ones in here?" he asked and it was Severus' turn to blush. Yes, he had seen, and he had seen what Harry had done while viewing his own work.

"Some of it, yes," he answered, hoping that Harry wouldn't be angry. They had both spied on each other so he hoped they could put that in the past.

"But not any of them after… after you promised Dumbledore you wouldn't use the Scios?" Severus shook his head. He had kept his word. Harry took the notebook and sat down on his bed, patting the place beside him. Severus sat down, so close that his whole right side melded with Harry's left. His lover opened the book at the back and worked his way forward. Severus couldn't help but stare, having long lost the battle with his own blush, which was now more a flush of arousal. Harry's drawings of him pleasuring himself were nothing like Severus could ever have imagined. It was very odd, finding himself aroused by drawings of himself, but perhaps even more odd that Harry saw him in this way: almost… sexy.

When Harry next turned the page Severus' cock started straining against the fabric of his boxers. He sat completely still as he looked at himself being thoroughly fucked by Harry. He glanced at his lover's real form and saw that Harry was a shade of Gryffindor red, from embarrassment or arousal or both. Severus only wished that the notebook didn't obscure a certain other clue to Harry's state. Embarrassed or not Harry determinedly turned the page: Severus' head was thrown back, his spine arched wantonly as Harry fingered him. The real Severus was breathing rather heavily by now. He felt the heat from Harry's body growing. The next one was of Harry sitting in Severus' lap, hands clutching at the back of the chair as Severus lifted him up and down on his cock. Severus made a mental note to teach Harry the spell to make pictures move.

There were a few of Draco, but they were only variations on the same theme of his godson sitting on the desk in Harry's bedroom. When they came to a particularly beautiful one, fully coloured and obviously a drawing Harry had spent much time on, Severus thought that maybe Draco had actually posed for it. A flare of jealousy sparked within Severus.

"When did you do this?" he asked.

"Just before Christmas. You didn't-… I mean, you didn't see us?" Harry glanced up at Severus, but quickly averted his gaze. "It's just a drawing." Severus had been in Kiev just before Christmas last year. He had obviously missed that little scene.

"I know it's just a drawing," he said softly, knowing also that he wasn't being rational. So he forced his jealousy aside. "It's very beautiful."

"I like the ones of you better," Harry said, flipping back the first picture they had viewed. It was of Severus lost in pleasure, standing in a what appeared to be a waterfall. Since he knew he preferred to wank in the shower he had no doubt from where Harry got his inspiration.

"They are all very good," Severus said, his voice thick. "But I think you should put them away." Neither of them needed a Scios to know each other's thoughts. They both knew they were seconds away from doing what Harry had told Black they wouldn't. Severus felt like a naughty teenager, something he hadn't really ever been, but he found he liked the feeling. Harry raised his head and looked into Severus' eyes, their mouths very close. It was so excruciatingly beautiful that Severus could lean in and claim those slightly parted lips and not be cursed into oblivion for his daring. So he did, and he should have reached those lips because they were so deliciously close, so close he could taste Harry's breath, but he didn't-

The door burst open: "Harry!" Black exclaimed when he caught sight of them roughly pulling away. Severus refused to sit back, however, mostly because any movement might alert Black to his current problem. Harry closed the notebook, but kept it securely in his lap.

"What?" Harry asked exasperated when Black just stared at them.

"Eh- I got a letter from Dumbledore. He says the floo to Malfoy Manor will be open at ten o'clock tomorrow."

"Okay… thanks for telling me," Harry said. Black hesitated, glancing back and forth between them. He looked like he wanted to take Harry away and lock him up. Severus could actually understand that particular desire: to keep Harry safe. "Anything else?" Harry asked. Black opened his mouth, but closed it again and turned dejectedly towards the door. He closed it slowly behind him, his eyes remaining on the pair until the last moment. When it was closed Harry sighed and looked at Severus. "Maybe we should just go to Hogwarts?"

"I think I should, but you should remain here," Severus said.

"Why?" Harry sounding so hurt should not warm Severus' heart like that, but it did, because Harry wanted him to remain, or join him.

"You asked to see me before Sunday and now you have. Besides, we will see each other again tomorrow as I shall be visiting Malfoy Manor after classes."

"Yes, but that hardly helps with…" Harry made a vague gesture towards the notebook.

"I think you are capable of taking care of it on your own for now," Severus said, his lips quirking slightly.

"Fine, go. Leave me." Severus leaned in and kissed Harry's cheek softly.

"I will never leave you," he whispered.

"I know, I love you." It went against Severus' nature to say it often, but when it came to Harry it was such an obvious statement, because they both knew it beyond any doubt. There was no point in letting Harry's sentiment go unanswered.

"And I you." Severus stood; rearranging his robes to not appear so obvious while Harry snickered. He ignored it save for a small glare before leaving Harry's bedroom.

He avoided Black on his way out, thank Merlin, and flooed back to Hogwarts. He was even luckier that Dumbledore was out and hurried down to the dungeons, very glad he was capable of taking care of things himself as well.

xxx

Draco paced the seventh floor corridor. He wasn't doing it because he was nervous, even though he was, but to get the door to appear. On his third pass it did and he stepped inside, finding the now familiar comfortable room with a loveseat in front of a fireplace. There were two other chairs as well and the walls held hundreds of books. The only thing they hadn't used was the bed at the other end. By now it was becoming something of an elephant neither of them mentioned, but Draco was a gentleman if nothing else, so he certainly wouldn't be the first to do it.

Hermione was waiting for him and he couldn't keep the smile off his face as he walked up to her and leaned down for a kiss. Her lips were always so unbearably sweet. He wanted to nibble on them all day. He was known for his sweet tooth after all.

"How long do you have?" she asked him when they parted.

"I only have a moment. Severus is expecting me at half past nine." She smiled to show it was okay and they sat down on the loveseat, Hermione snuggling her back into his chest. It was always so surreal in moments like these. Draco thought he would never quite get used to it: that a girl who had once punched him was now his girlfriend.

"Did you do the Transfiguration essay yet?" Hermione asked after a moment. Draco smiled to himself. He would probably never admit how grateful he was that Hermione wasn't anything like Pansy Parkinson.

"Of course," he said and Hermione launched into her main argument, wanting to hear his take on it. Draco gave it quite readily.

Not long afterwards Draco started walking the long way to the dungeons. His thoughts drifted to the one thing he was trying not to think about. He had been trying to avoid thinking about it for some time, but no matter how hard he tried he always came back to it: what in Slytherin's name was he going to do? How could he tell his parents he was dating a muggleborn? It was one thing to simply side with the Light. That could be explained away easily: Draco believed Dumbledore's forces would win. Ideology didn't factor into it. It was a purely Slytherin move on his part. His father had done the same, for the Malfoy name, and maybe a little for his son as well, Draco liked to think. Slytherin survival instincts, however, would not help him explain that he loved a muggleborn. And he did love her, didn't he? For nothing else would make him risk his father's wrath. It was a fact by now.

Draco knew his father loved his mother. They were the perfect pureblood couple. In public they showed little emotion except distain, but Draco knew they could be almost affectionate, especially in times of stress and crisis. He knew his father loved him as well, and hoped that he wanted Draco to be happy more than he wanted to remain 'pure'. Still, whenever Draco imagined that particular conversation with his father all he could see was Lord Malfoy bemoaning the fact that the Ministry was overflowing with muggleborns and half-bloods. The only imaginable outcome was his immediate disinheritance… followed by a few choice curses.

Before he knew it he was at Severus' door. The Head of Slytherin was waiting for him by the fireplace. The man looked Draco over and raised an eyebrow. Draco wondered what the man saw. He felt as if he had changed so much since that fateful night at the Ministry, when he had made his choice. Neither said anything, however, and they both flooed to Malfoy Manor together.

xxx

Severus sighed, thanking the Four Founders that the dinner was finally over. It had been so overly polite and tense he had wanted to throw Lucius up on the table and remove the stick from the man's arse. Such displays of false courtesy were hardly affective on the Weasleys or anyone else. It was plain as day the Malfoys preferred their home without them, but Lucius, always the politician, had held a respectable dinner for them all. Dumbledore's mad twinkling eyes had lighted up the proceedings, as if he was highly amused by the fumblingly awkward Weasleys and tight-lipped Malfoys. Only Draco and Harry seemed oblivious, deciding from the start to simply ignore everybody else, though the former of the two seemed somehow… off. Severus could guess why.

Now they had all gone to bed, Draco and Dumbledore back to Hogwarts where Severus should be going soon as well. He had agreed to a nightcap in the study from his friend first. His thoughts kept straying to Harry, alone in a huge bed, naked perhaps? Wreathing in the silky sheets?

"Firewhiskey?" Lucius' request startled him out of his filthy mind. He gracefully accepted a tumbled, downing it all in one go so his sudden blush could be explained. Lucius smirked knowingly at him. He walked backwards towards a bookshelf, his eyes never leaving Severus' as he spoke. "I put young Mr. Potter in the green guestroom," he drawled. "Right upstairs." A pale finger directed upwards and Severus' stomach twisted. "Do you remember the last time you slept in there?" Lucius' hand moved to the books, the same finger tilting a large green volume out of place, and the whole shelf moved outwards, a dark passageway was revealed, one Severus had seen only once before, and that had been from the other end, from his resting place on green silk sheets.

"I shouldn't," Severus heard himself say. Lucius' smirk widened.

"Of course you should, my old friend," he purred. "It's my gift to you." Severus put aside the empty tumbler, suddenly wishing for another. Would Harry like that? Severus creeping into his rooms while his godfather rested in the same house? "Why don't you just slither in, like a good snake," Lucius suggested. Severus moved to the entrance, but Lucius put a hand on his shoulder. "One question first."

"Of course," Severus said, rolling his eyes. "Your gifts are never free." Lucius only tilted his head in acknowledgment at that. "What do you want to know?"

"Draco seemed a little melancholy tonight. Would you know the reason for that?"

"I can hazard a guess," Severus said. At Lucius' expectant look he elaborated. "He is dating someone, has for some time actually." If Lucius was surprised, he didn't show it.

"Since the Malfoy's official siding with the Light," he said the last word as if it left a foul taste on his tongue. "I assume it is not the Parkinson girl?" Severus shook his head. "And since he obviously dreads to tell me I also assume there is little hope of it being a Ravenclaw?"

"She's smarter than Parkinson," was Severus' only reply. Lucius snorted softly, then sighed.

"Go slither into your lion's den," he said and stepped aside. Severus walked past him into the darkness, emerging on the next floor from behind a floor-length mirror. As Severus peaked his head in he noticed the bed was empty and frowned. Just then Harry came out from the bathroom, one hand towelling his hair while the other held only a towel around his waist. He caught sight of Severus out of the corner of his eye and started.

"Severus!" he exclaimed, gaping. Severus quickly stepped into the room and closed the 'door'. "You sneaky Slytherin!" Harry was grinning as he practically sprinted over into Severus' arms. His arms grabbed around Severus' neck and then they were kissing heatedly.

"I came to brave the lion's den," Severus whispered huskily when they parted. His hands were at Harry's hips and he distracted Harry with another kiss while his fingers worked. It took only the barest of movements for the towel to fall and Harry's whole body shivered violently, his erection already pressing into Severus. The older man couldn't keep his hands from roaming all over the damp and sweet-smelling skin.

"Ah!" Harry said as a finger found his cleft. "No, stop." Severus drew back at once, but Harry made sure he stayed close. Harry leaned up for a soft kiss to Severus slight frown. "When you brave the lion's den you must pay the consequences if you get caught," he whispered. Severus couldn't suppress his own shiver. Harry pulled him towards the bed, slightly wrinkled fingers from the water started working at the buttons, but quickly grew frustrated. Severus felt a spark of magic as all of them suddenly opened. Harry grinned and pushed the robe off. Had it been anyone else Severus would have wanted a thorough explanation, as it was he knew it was only Harry's subconscious, raw magic doing the work for him.

(PLEASE CONSIDER THIS CHAPTER FINISHED IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ HOT MANSEX!)

He followed Harry onto the bed and arranged himself in whatever position Harry wanted. When Harry truly realised he wasn't going to get an argument over this he fumbled slightly with the lube Severus told him was in the bedside drawer (which, thank Lucius, it was). He was excited and nervous, but Severus didn't comment on it, only encouraged when it was needed. Harry was so painstakingly slow Severus moaned deep in his throat when Harry finally entered him. It had been a while, and it was a hundred times better than he remembered. Harry hovered above him.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Lions don't ask their pray if they are alright with being eaten," Severus breathed out. Harry laughed despite himself. "Did you watch me, Harry?" Severus asked as Harry set a steady pace. "Did you satisfy your voyeuristic tendencies?" Harry moaned, his thrusts quickening, his eyes squeezed shut. "Did you wank alone in your room while you spied?"

"Yes, ohgod, yes," Harry moaned. Severus grunted as Harry was now rutting quite forcefully. He loved to watch the water and sweat on the young man's chest, droplets running over taunt muscle. Severus clenched his legs around Harry's waist. He clutched the sheets while Harry had a firm hold of his sides.

"Did you feel guilty afterwards? Naughty?"

"Yesyesyes."

"Did you come while wishing I would suddenly see you? Catch you in the act?" Severus managed to purr even while his head was almost banging into the headboard.

"Oh, _fuck_, Sev'rus," Harry grunted. "Don't stop talking. Don't stop!"

"Did you invade my thoughts?" Severus asked as he took himself in hand, moaning as he kept on talking, his words unregistered by his brain by now. "Did you hear how I dreamed of you sucking me instead?"

"Fuckyes," Harry growled.

"Did you dream of doing it?" Severus' hand moved quickly now. He barely got the words out on a moan.

"Dreamed of doing _this_ to you," Harry said, punctuated his words with a hard jab of his hips. "Dreamed of giving back some of the _points_ you took!" Severus' whole body seemed to flare with the words and he arched his back, spurting between their bellies. Harry cried out, shuddering as his orgasm hit. Harry collapsed, both of them panting hard for the longest time. Severus wasn't exactly sure if he remembered everything he had said, but Harry's words stayed with him. He wondered if it was wrong to find them so erotic.

"You've gained weight," he said at last. Harry snorted, but rolled off and curled up beside his lover instead.

"You alright?" he asked. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"I've taken harder beatings than that," Severus drawled. Harry punched him in the shoulder.

"Git… fuck, that was intense. I didn't realise it would be like that." Harry laid his head down on Severus' chest, just above the white stickiness.

"Indeed," Severus said. "I must go." Harry made a soft noise of protest. "I have classes tomorrow… and more points to take from Gryffindor." He slipped out of bed as Harry sat up in outrage, chuckling when a pillow hit his back. He had rarely felt as light-hearted as in that moment; with Harry gazing fondly at him from the bed while he cleaned himself and dressed. Even with the sore arse and the war raging on around them, Severus Snape was happy. Harry's brilliant smile when Severus came back for one last kiss made his heart soar, and at the same time there was a tiny part of him that dared voice his darkest fear: _'Do you really think this will last? Severus Snape happy? The world will sooner come to an end…' _

-:-

Lol. They were going to get to Halloween in this chapter, since obviously something happens on Halloween. I guess Harry and Sev just felt like some smut instead. Hope you liked it and that it makes up for Halloween coming a little late in my fic.

Oh, and by the way: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!


	29. Chapter 29

Thank you for all your reviews! I'm in total study mode for exams, but I have to have a few breaks, don't I?

Oh, and by the way, I don't know if any of you have noticed this, but there is an abundance of fluff in this fic (or maybe I'm suddenly all for angst and I can't really judge the ratio correctly). I just wanted to assure you all that there will be LOTS more angst before this thing is done, and more arguing between Harry and Severus (and everybody else) because even people in love fight. Please, bear with me while I set up the angst:

-:-

Waiting is always the worst, Harry knew this. He preferred running to meet his foes instead of waiting for them to arrive. Draco had arrived right before dinner, having been told by Hermione to go have the Halloween feast with Harry instead. Harry was grateful, and he knew Draco was relieved she wouldn't be there, but neither of them were particularly enthusiastic about the feast at Malfoy Manor.

"I used to love Halloween when I was little," Draco commented as they ate their desserts. The dinners weren't that tense anymore, thankfully. Lucius and Narcissa would still make odd noises of disapproval now and then, but usually they just let the Weasleys and Order members talk amongst themselves. Narcissa, however, was allowing Tonks to talk to her uninterrupted. The blonde just sat and nodded at appropriate moments while Tonks rattled on about her mother and father. Mad-Eye's eye was firmly fixed on the wall to his left, looking for any signs of a breach in the wards. Dumbledore and Severus hadn't arrived yet, as they needed to be seen at the banquet at Hogwarts.

"You don't anymore?" Harry asked, brow furrowed.

"Not the same at Hogwarts as it was at home," Draco said, his eyes focused on his tiramisu.

"I never celebrated it at the Dursleys," Harry said. "I don't suppose wizard children go trick-or-treating?" Draco looked up with a confused stare, answering Harry's question.

"What's that?" So Harry spent the rest of the dinner telling Draco all about how the muggles had interpreted the old traditions. The jack-o-lantern was still fairly accurate, according to Draco, which Harry found disconcerting. It was just after nine when Dumbledore and Severus arrived… along with Hermione.

They were all gathered in the largest drawing room, spread out so the Malfoys didn't actually have to come into contact with the others, though most Order members were stationed around the house on lookout. Harry and Draco were on one of the couches in front of the huge fireplace. Suddenly the floo flared and Dumbledore stepped out. Severus followed and Harry caught his eye and smiled. Severus merely nodded back. And then the floo flared again, catching everyone's attention save the newly arrived professors. Hermione stepped out, brushing the dust from her robes.

"Hermione, what are you doing here?" Harry asked as he rose and greeted her with a hug.

"I asked to come along," she said simply. "I may not officially be in the Order, but I still want to help." Harry glanced around to the Malfoy pair. Both looked like they wanted to yell something harsh, but held their breath. They were all there to protect the Malfoy's home, after all. Harry looked to Draco, who still sat looking unsure on the couch. When their eyes met the grey orbs got a determined glint in them. The blond rose gracefully and stepped forwards, his hand outstretched in greeting.

"Granger, good of you to come," he said, as if they were old acquaintances. Hermione bit her lip to keep from smirking at the shocked expressions on the Malfoys faces.

"You're quite welcome," she said, taking his hand. They held perhaps a heartbeat longer than necessary and Lucius' eyes narrowed to slits across the room.

"The lookouts have been posted?" Dumbledore directed his question to the elder Malfoy, who nodded tightly. "Mrs. Malfoy, you are certain your sister doesn't suspect anything?" Narcissa shook her head, something unidentifiable passing over her expression. "Good, then all we have to do is wait." Harry nearly groaned in frustration. They all settled down, with Harry in the middle.

xxx

"Harry, may I have a word?" Dumbledore said kindly. Harry looked up and nodded, rising from the couch and leaving Draco and Hermione alone. As he left the room with the Headmaster he heard Draco continue their conversation without him. They walked to a room Harry hadn't yet been in, but that was no surprise. Even if he had been there over half a week he had hardly seen all the rooms. It was another drawing room, from what he could tell, done in Ravenclaw blue. The furniture was old and gilded, looking rather garish in the light from the setting sun. They stopped just inside and didn't sit down.

"I thought it best to give this to you now. You remember how to activate the life-debt?" Dumbledore's comment was more a statement than a question, but Harry nodded anyway. The old wizard reached inside his robe and pulled out two objects, one round, one crescent shaped. Harry took them, one in each hand. "Put them together," Dumbledore urged. Harry swallowed, suddenly a bit nervous, and slowly brought the two devices together. The ball and half-moon fit perfectly into each other. Harry heard a distinct _click_ and looked up at Dumbledore, who nodded with a small smile.

"Sir," Harry began as he put the now one device into his pocket. "There's one thing I've been wondering about."

"And what is that Harry?"

"Why make two of them? If you were a spy why not just make the one, or make more of them? Why the whole need to put two together?" Dumbledore looked startled by the question for a moment, and Harry wondered if he hadn't asked something stupid or painfully obvious, but then Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"Didn't I mention it? The Scios Totalus was not made by a spy. The fact that their power is amplified together is merely a… side-effect." At Harry's blank look Dumbledore elaborated. "It was made for lovers," he said softly.

"What?" Harry asked in surprise, raising his eyebrows incredulously. Dumbledore chuckled.

"It was made so soon-to-be married couples could get to know one another, even without being physically together… that is why I gave you the other Scios, because only when the two admit their love can the Scios be removed." Harry looked a bit winded. Dumbledore continued more seriously. "That is also why when a person is alone in using it he or she can become obsessive, because their love is not returned. And together, the Scios Totalus become a formidable magical artefact. It is also proof that such ancient magic is…" Dumbledore paused to find the right word. "I hesitate to use the word primitive, but you can be sure few in our day would attempt such powerful and unpredictable magic."

"I used it alone, sir," Harry pointed out a little nervously. "Severus didn't break your word. I guess I was a little obsessive, but nothing extreme."

"Ah, but your love _was_ returned, and either way it only proves how strong the both of you are. Remind me to let you read a diary of someone who used the Scios alone. It is pretty clear by the end that he takes his own life because of it." Harry nodded, disturbed by the thought, but nevertheless feeling the need to read that book. He was also disconcerted about using the thing on Voldemort… looking into a crazy person's mind wouldn't be a good experience.

"You knew I would… fall in love with Severus?" Harry asked to distract himself. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled again.

"Come, Harry, we should be on alert," was Dumbledore's only answer before turning away and leaving. Harry shook his head, speculating how he still managed to not hate the man sometimes, while at the same time not sure whether he should be mad at the man at all. He was feeling very confused when he came back to the others. He walked over to Severus and immediately gained the man's attention, as well as everybody else's, though they tried to be discreet.

"Can we talk? Just for a minute," Harry asked. Severus studied him for a moment, seeing his lover was concerned about something, and then nodded. They walked back out together and stood in the hallway by the large staircase. "Did you know the Scios Totalus was made for lovers?" Harry asked bluntly. Severus blinked.

"I had my suspicions, yes. I knew it wasn't designed for spying originally at least." Harry sighed and frowned, glancing away. Severus wished he had the Scios right now, but he was pretty sure Dumbledore had already given it to Harry.

"Do you think," Harry began, not looking at Severus. "That the only reason we are together is because of the Scios?" Severus didn't say anything for a long time, waiting for Harry to look at him. His silence finally produced results when Harry raised his head.

"Yes," Severus said. "It let us understand each other, something we would have never achieved otherwise." Harry's brows drew together. Severus could perhaps have lied, but that wasn't in him, especially not when it came to this. What had happened was fact and no romantic words would change that.

"But what if we were given a chance to get to know each other?" Harry persisted.

"We wouldn't have," Severus said simply.

"But what if-"

"There is no point in dwelling on 'what-ifs'" Severus cut in. Harry was beginning to look angry.

"Look. If you never had used the Scios on me and we were forced to spend time together-"

"I would have hated you and you would have despised me," Severus supplied smoothly.

"Will you let me talk?" Harry asked exasperated. Severus merely raised an eyebrow. "Why are you being like this!?"

"Because your words are meaningless," Severus explained.

"They're not!" Harry exclaimed. His face was flushed, his fists clenched. Severus wanted to ravish him, or perhaps have Harry- "So you're saying that there is no chance in hell that we could have ever been together without some legendary device?"

"Yes," Severus answered calmly. "Why is this so important to you?"

"Because nothing's ever mine!" Harry cried. He glared at Severus hard. "Either it's some prophecy or Dumbledore's manipulations or a damned artefact! Everybody says I'm supposed to be a hero, but nothing in my life ever happens because of anything _I _do!"

"You are being ridiculous," Severus said before he could stop himself. Harry had done so much that mattered Severus couldn't understand why the young man would say such nonsense.

"I'm ridiculous? Why are we ever together if it's only because of magic that we love each other at all?" Severus almost rolled his eyes. Harry had completely misunderstood him, which perhaps wasn't so surprising. The Scios had given them a chance to love each other, but wasn't the cause of their love directly. Severus could know everything about Lord Voldemort and still wouldn't spare him anything more than pure hatred.

"Stop this, you foolish boy," Severus hissed, disturbed by Harry questioning their relationship. It was one thing that could scare the breath out of Severus.

"Foolish boy?" Harry repeated, his eyes hard as steel. "We're not in a bloody classroom anymore, Snape. You don't talk to me like that. If you can't-"

"They're here!" a cry reached them, causing both their heads to snap around. Severus quickly sought out Harry's eyes again.

"Don't go outside," he said and swept towards the doors. Harry didn't waste another moment on his anger. He rushed to the library, where he would await Wormtail.

xxx

The Death Eaters advanced on Malfoy Manor from all sides, but with a larger group focused on the front doors. If they were surprised by the sudden counter-attack from the Order members they hardly had time to express it. The wizards and witches engaged. One lone rat scurried underneath their feet towards the door, still open as people streamed out to meet their foes head on.

The rat sniffed the air of the hallway, eyes darting around and making sure no one spotted it. The door slammed shut behind it, alone now in the large house. The rat had been there before, it knew where to go, where certain things lay hidden. Breaking the wards would be more difficult, but the Master was working on that from the outside as well. It kept close to the walls, not liking how the portraits narrowed their eyes downwards in suspicion and revulsion.

The library door was open. The rat hurried inside and glanced around. A sniff came naturally. A pause. It bent its ears towards the corner to the left. A sound? A strange smell and a sound usually only meant one thing. Its rat instincts told it to turn tail and scurry home, but the Master would not like that. His fate would be worse out there than in here, surely. Peter Pettigrew transformed, drawing his wand even as he gained height and mass. A swish of fabric.

"Confringo!" His purple blast was barrelling towards corner before the whole boy was revealed, but it hit the wall. They boy had rolled away, rising to his feet quicker than Peter could think.

"Stupefy!"

"Protego! Crucio!" The curse hit the desk. As the boy crouched behind it Peter took his chance. The rat was running before it hit the floor. Not quick enough, though. A horrible spell was uttered, hitting just at the tip of its tail, but it was enough. Pain laced through the rat as it was forced back into the body of a large, but hollowed-out looking man. He panted as he tried to catch his breath, rolling onto his back, pointing his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" "Impedimenta!" His wand was pulled from his hand, but his spell hit its target, causing the disarming charm to lose its effect and the wand to drop between them. Peter scrambled on all fours, forgetting he was actually in human form, over to his wand. For some reason he knew the spell would not stick long…

xxx

Severus snarled his curses savagely as another Death Eater fell before him. They had surprised the Dark Lord's forces, but the madman had used his 'quiet time' well. There were a lot more than even Dumbledore's worst predictions, but thankfully, and Snape used this word a little doubtfully, most the Death Eaters were young witches and wizards under the Imperius, or just too inexperienced in life in general to know what they had signed up for. Probably the majority of home-schooled children ages fifteen and above. Of course the Carrows, Nott, Crabbe and Goyle were all there, along with all the other senior Death Eaters. The Dark Lord was intent on having his revenge on Lucius.

The Lestranges, Snape noted with mixed emotions, were not there. Not that he had seen anyway. Bellatrix was most likely with her Lord, who could be anywhere on the grounds, working on removing the wards on the Manor itself.

Severus tried to keep his focus on the battle before him. A cry and a tremor cut through any conscious thoughts. He hadn't been able to hear what or who had cried out, but somehow it reverberated through his body. The tremor… the wards! They were wavering…

xxx

Hermione wasn't scared. She was terrified, but she didn't have time to acknowledge it. She had started out at Draco's side, intent on protecting him, but somewhere along the way they had split up. She couldn't even turn to look for his blond hair, because that could mean death.

"Stupefy!" Another, barely older than herself, wizard fell before her as he failed to get his shield up in time. She quickly summoned his wand and snapped it, barely managing to jump out of the way of a stunner flying past. She got to her feet, only to be roughly pushed out of the way, causing her to hit her head. She looked up to wild, blond hair, but far longer than Draco's. A yelled curse, one she was unfamiliar with, and another Death Eater cried out in agony, his pain hardly heard over the shouting and cursing of the others. It seemed Lucius hadn't even noticed her, for he was already engaging the next one. She had never seen him so undone before. Luckily they weren't many around them at the moment.

"Lucius!" a high cackle made Hermione turn her head. Lucius spun around as well. "I can't wait to see you bleed!" A red blast, stronger than stupefy, spurted from the wand of a masked Death Eater.

"Protego!" Lucius frame trembled as the curse hit his shield, but it held, barely. Hermione saw another Death Eater advancing towards Lucius' back. She raised her want and shouted in harmony with the Lord of the Manor, though their spells differed highly. The Death Eater flicked her stunner aside and she rose swiftly to meet his counter-spell. Standing almost back-to-back with Lucius she eventually caught the young girl, sixteen at most, with a flying rock from the side. She turned,-

"Ha! We've got your son now, Lucius!" the Death Eater cried, pointing gleefully to his left. If Hermione had registered the words she might have turned as well in shock to see Draco being wrapped in tight magical cords, but as if was only Lucius stopped breathing and glanced - mistake made. A curse soared towards him, hitting him squarely in the chest. Hermione raised her wand even as he stumbled to his knees.

"STUPEFY!" she cried, louder than she thought she could. The Death Eater seemed almost as surprised by her ferocity as he was by the spell hitting him. Hermione didn't even see him fall. She checked around her. To her relief the fighting was concentrated a way off to the left and no Death Eaters seemed inclined to move this way, away from the Manor's front doors. She fell to her knees. Lucius' robes were light, to distinguish him from the Death Eaters, but with black highlights. Gold and black, all red now, even his platinum locks, now tangled and messy. He was wheezing and coughing.

"Oh my- Draco!" Hermione cried, raising her head only slightly, but knowing she had to focus on Lucius right now. She hoped dearly that the healing spells she knew would help. Lucius' pale grey eyes sought hers suddenly. He gasped in a breath. Distantly Hermione heard shouts going up. The wards were wavering along with Lucius' life…

xxx

Draco should have been paying attention. He knew the younger Crabbe and Goyle weren't good for much, but they could still throw a few curses between them. Still, it shouldn't have been a problem, if only he hadn't been looking for Hermione. One minute they were fighting side by side, Draco even forgetting to feel anything but fierce determination, and the next he was terrified because she was gone, and Crabbe senior had managed to get ropes around him. Not the best curse to throw in a duel, obviously, especially if done poorly and without summoning the bound person's wand immediately. Still, it was the principal of the thing!

Pointing his wand as best he could with his arm bound tightly to his side he shouted a stunner and watched Goyle go down with a loud thud. He quickly cut his ropes, just in time to hear a piercing cry.

"STYPEFY!" He ducked and rolled, using his training from Harry and Sirius well, and scanned around for Hermione, who he was sure was the person who had shouted. His heart beat almost loud enough to drown out the fighting. "Draco!" His blood ran cold and then he spotted her hair. She was on her knees away from the fighting, thank Merlin. Draco stunned another Death Eater currently duelling an Order member and disillusioned himself enough to run, half crouched, in between the duellers towards his girlfriend.

"Fuck!" Draco swore as a cutting curse got loose from the main fighting and grazed his arm. He quickly forgot the slight pain, however, when he saw Hermione's wand passing quickly over a bloody mess of a person. Over and over it passed as she murmured frantically. He was so stunned he didn't even noticed when he dropped to his knees across from her, the body between them.

"Draco!" she half-cried, half-sobbed. "I'm trying, but I'm not sure what curse was used!" It was working, though, whatever she was doing. Draco stared at the pale face of his father. So very, very pale. The blood made all the more redder by his complexion. Grey eyes shifted from Draco's girlfriend to him.

"Draco…" a hoarse voice, not his father's, spoke. It held none of the Malfoy command or sneer, so it couldn't possibly be Lucius Malfoy speaking. Draco nevertheless leaned over and put a hand around his father's neck, cupping the back of the blond head. The blood was on his hand now.

"Father," he said, wishing he could be a great poet and express a life-time of regret and love and admiration in one word. But all he got was a feeble wobble as he swallowed the word halfway through.

"Take care of… everything." A spark ran through his hand, and in that instant he recognised it and forced the magic back down through his fingers, back into Lucius. He did not want it. Not yet.

"No!" Draco growled. "You don't get to decide this! You decide everything, but not this! Not my life anymore! I won't be Lord before you're more senile than Dumbledore, you hear me!?" Lucius gasped and gurgled, an attempt at chuckling perhaps? Hermione had not stopped in her murmuring. Her wand passed up to his throat and she spelled away the excess blood there.

"The wards are falling, Draco," Lucius said, able to speak more easily now. "If you do not take them the Manor will be breached!"

"Then hold on to them!" Draco cried. "A Malfoy never gives away his worldly possessions before he's well and truly dead."

"You can't let Voldemort get his hands on our collections. The wards need someone strong. The Death Eaters-… are almost… there." Draco took a chance and glanced up towards the Manor. The doors were open. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and several Order members were standing in the double doorway fighting the advancing Death Eaters. Their forces were too scattered, Draco realised. Order members and Death Eater duellers were spread out everywhere. If only they could re-group…

xxx

Harry's movements slowed to a halt as the spell hit him. He immediately pushed against the magic, feeling it fall away from him almost easily. Wormtail was crawling for his wand. Harry dug into his pocket and tossed a round bottle to the floor beside it. He quickly cast an air-cleaning spell on his throat, just as Severus had taught him and watched as red smoke immediately filled the room. Wormtail sputtered and coughed. Harry heard him tumble to the floor. He summoned the rat's wand and pocketed it, clearing away the smoke and almost sneering at the pathetic man gasping for air on the floor.

Harry wasted no time. He walked over to the rat-man, crouched down, and grabbed a handful of greying hair, yanking hard. Wormtail cried out, but opened his eyes and looked at Harry, beady eyes wide with fear.

"Harry!" he exclaimed, as if he had only just realised who he was duelling. "Harry, you remember me! Show mercy, remember? Mercy for your father's old friend!"

"Shut up!" Harry spat. He raised his wand and held the tip just before Wormtail's nose. The man whimpered pathetically.

"Please, mercy, Harry! Your father would want you to show mercy!"

"Don't talk about my father!" Harry warned, a single spark flying from his wand. Wormtail fell silent. Harry began the incantation for the life-debt to be completely magically binding, sort of like Imperius, but with an even better guarantee. Wormtail didn't seem to recognise it, but he understood something important was happening.

"What are you doing?! Stop!"

"Listen carefully, Peter Pettigrew," Harry said after he finished. "I am going to give you a device. You are going to go back to your Lord and tell him you didn't manage to enter the library or take down the wards. You are going to use a spell I will teach you to _secretly_ attach the device to Voldemort. You will not speak of this to anyone and you will forget you ever did such a thing the moment it is done. Do you understand?" Wormtail's eyes had become paler as Harry spoke, and now the man nodded several times. Harry said the spell to use and again Wormtail nodded, his eyes slowly regaining their normal colour. "Now get out of my sight," Harry sneered, stuffing the man's wand in his pocket and standing. It took another moment before Wormtail got his wits about him. When he did he quickly transformed. Harry realised he would have to open the door so the thing could get out. He had spelled it shut when Wormtail had entered, which had probably caused him to not get that first shot in.

A bang and suddenly the doors were already open. Severus rushed in, wand in hand, a wild look about him Harry had never seen before. The rat was forgotten…

"Harry," Severus breathed. "Have you done it?" Harry nodded. "Then we must leave. The wards are being breached even as we speak. We must get you out of here!"

"Where are the others?" Harry asked as Severus reached for his arm as if to bodily pull him from the Manor.

"Outside, inside, everywhere," Severus replied distractedly. "Someone has been dispatched to the Ministry to demand Auror help, but I doubt they'll come." Harry instinctively yanked his arm free.

"I can't just leave them!"

"You're too important to fight now!" Severus hissed, going for Harry's arm again, but Harry stepped out of reach.

"I'm not your student anymore! When will you get that? I make my own decision!"

"You would risk the wizarding world for a minor battle?"

"If my friends die I won't have a reason to fight anymore."

"This is no time for arg-"

"Confringo!" A voice screamed. Harry cried out in shock as Severus was blasted across the room into the wall above the mantel. His body fell, hitting the hard stone before tumbling to the floor like a rag doll. Harry had his wand up and had stupefied Wormtail before the other man had blinked. He didn't spare the rat a glance, though he berated himself for forgetting it, but rushed to his lover's side.

"Severus!" He quickly cast scanning charms and found only a few broken bones and a concussion. He was very glad for the healing he had learned that would heal quickly in battle, though not completely. He arranged Severus' limbs correctly and did as best he could. He then summoned his cloak and put it over the man, putting him in a stasis charm. Before he covered the man's head he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the sweaty forehead. "I'm sorry, Severus. I've got to go."

He levitated his lover to a far corner, then he levitated the rat out the window to the ground below. Lifting the stunner he watched as Wormtail hobbled off confused, hopefully back to his master. That done Harry ran from the room to join the others in the fight…

-:-

Whew! This was hard to write. I'm crap at writing fighting scenes, at least I think so. I hate making up spells of my own so I just keep to the old canon ones. Hope you liked it regardless.

Now… back to history… Roman religion in politics anyone????

Ps: Sorry for any mistakes. I'm really tired as you can imagine. Studying takes a lot out of you.


	30. Chapter 30

Thanks to all my reviewers. I'm glad you liked the fighting and I hope this is satisfactory. Lucius' fate will be revealed. And Harry activates the Scios Totalus on Voldemort himself. (cue ominous music)

-:-

Harry leaned back, slouching deeply in the chair, but too exhausted to do anything else. He felt as if the last remnants of magic in him were draining slowly out of his fingertips, but he couldn't be bothered to try and stop it. It was the opposite, in fact, that was happening. After the tiring battle Harry's magic was coming back slowly to full force, having first crashed right after fighting ceased. It left an odd sensation in Harry's skin. He was just glad he had managed to hold out. He was not accustomed to duelling for such a long period of time.

_Flashback _

Harry rushed towards the entrance hall of the Manor, his wand in hand. He skidded to a halt at the sight that greeted him. Where was everybody else? Only a handful of people were guarding the doors. Harry felt the wards: they were weak and wavering. If the Death Eaters came close enough they would probably be able to breach them. Making a snap decision Harry turned and rushed back to the library, stopping just outside. He quickly summoned as much raw magical energy he could muster. Magic did things for him it would not to for others, things he simply _willed_ to happen, ever since he was a child…

Now he used his wand, and waved it in a warding pattern. Once he felt the wards enclose the space he silently hoped that if he did die, someone would find Severus beneath the cloak. The wards would fall if he did.

Once back in the hallway Harry didn't stop to think. He closed his eyes, using the same raw magic still raging within him and pushed at the wards. They resisted, barely, only as if it was an automatic response, but then collapsed. Harry pointed his wand to his throat.

"_Sonorus!_ ORDER OF THE PHOENIX! TO THE FRONT STEPS!" His voice boomed out of the Manor and all eyes and ears turned towards it. There was perhaps a split-second where everybody wondered who had called, and what exactly had been said. Then apparition cracks were heard like a rain of rocks upon a hardwood floor. The remained of the Order members gathered in the doorway, as well as some inside and out on the steps. Harry rushed forward through the doors and pointed his wand to the very top of the entranceway. It was a quick, enemy-repellent ward, but it would prevent further apparition, hopefully. Harry turned back to the Death Eaters, many of whom were still slightly stunned, but others were apparating towards the entrance themselves.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Harry shouted, hitting the nearly Death Eater in the chest. The wand flew out of his or her hand while the hooded person was thrown far down past the steps and into the bushes lining the driveway, though most of them were singed and trampled now. Harry's cry was followed by many others and slowly the Death Eaters were driven back.

_End flashback. _

Harry hardly remembered the fighting. When most of the true Death Eaters had fled and only about a dozen zombie-like young witches and wizards remained, the Aurors had miraculously shown up. By tomorrow the Battle at Malfoy Manor would be made out as a Ministry victory. Voldemort had not been seen once, but Fudge made it out as if he himself had driven the Dark Lord from his former follower's estate.

Not that many had died, thankfully, mostly due to the amount of inexperienced Death Eaters. The Order members didn't want to kill them, so it had been a difficult battle, and casualties had occurred. Death Eaters had also been captured, including Goyle senior, but none higher up than him. The Aurors had taken them away. Harry suspected they had also taken many who were under Imperius. He hoped they weren't detained too long.

Severus had been the first thing on Harry's mind afterwards. He had made sure Pomfrey checked on him to make sure he wasn't in danger. The man now rested on the bed that Harry was sitting next to. Severus' pale face was the only thing above the covers. He looked like was wearing a mask. A death mask. Harry sighed and glanced across the room with his eyes. A lot of beds were filled tonight, and ever more at St. Mungo's. The bed Harry looked at, though, was Lucius Malfoy's bed. Draco sat on one side, Narcissa on the other. Both were white-faced and staring at Lucius.

"Harry?" Sirius voice made Harry look up. The man was standing right next to him and he hadn't even noticed. "You should go get some rest," Sirius urged, placing a hand on his godson's shoulder.

"No," Harry shook his head. "I'm not leaving him."

"He's unconscious, Harry," Sirius pointed out.

"Brilliant observation, thanks for telling me," Harry said sarcastically, shrugging off Sirius' hand and crossed his arms over his chest. He went back to staring at Severus.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Sirius sounded annoyed and a little hurt.

"Look, I just-" Harry sighed, a hand coming up to rub his eyes. His glasses had been lost during the battle. "I'm sorry, Sirius, but I need to be here."

"You can't help him right now, Harry."

"I know that," Harry said tiredly. "But…" Severus' hair felt soft between Harry's fingers when he reached out. "I don't want to miss him waking up." He looked up at Sirius, judging the man's reaction. "We had a fight. Two fights actually. I could have lost him today and I realised the last thing I would have said to him was something… angry and hurtful. I just want to be here to apologies when he wakes up." Sirius just looked at Harry for a long moment, then he glanced at Severus before nodding. He patted Harry's shoulder one last time and left. Harry leaned over his lover and pressed a kiss to Severus' forehead.

xxx

Draco sat, feeling as if he was made of stone and of very fragile glass at the same time. He couldn't move. He hardly wanted to think in case he missed something and his father slipped away from them. Pomfrey had done the best she could, but now it was up to Lucius' body and magic to do the rest. Draco felt as if one tiny breeze would crush not only his father, but him as well. His mother didn't look much better, though the dried tear-tracks on her face suggested she had already cracked slightly.

Steps in the otherwise silent Hospital Wing made Draco finally move. He glanced up and saw his cousin move from Harry's chair, walking back down the rows towards the exit. As he followed the man's progress he noticed someone else standing in the doorway. Hermione. She caught his eye and silently asked him if he wanted her to come over, or if he wanted to come to her. Draco glanced quickly as his mother, but she saw nothing but Lucius. He got up quietly and hurried towards his girlfriend.

"How is he?" she whispered when he reached her. He took her arm and led her outside the doors, just in case. Once they stepped out of view he pulled her to him and hugged her tight, breathing in her scent. She always smelled of the library, and it calmed him like nothing else could. She hugged back just as tightly, even though Draco suspected he might be hurting her.

"He's fighting," he said when he pulled away.

"He's strong. He'll make it," she said with that matter-of-fact tone Draco had come to rely on.

"I want to thank you," he said suddenly. He reached out and stroked her cheek, just because he felt like it. "You saved him." She placed her hand over his. "Not many people in your situation would have done that, especially considering-"  
"I didn't think about that," Hermione said. Draco always marvelled at how easy she could forgive almost anything. How she so effortlessly let the past go when it didn't matter. Slytherins were known for carrying grudges and never to let past offences go. Hermione made Draco feel so… inferior. But instead of making him jealous or angry with her, it only made him want to try harder.

"I love you," he said, since he knew she wouldn't let him go on insisting that not every muggleborn would be so willing to save a former Death Eater. She smiled, a secret smile only he knew and came closer. He ducked his head and took the kiss she was offering.

"Lucius!" a hissed whisper carried all the way out to them, since the doors were still open. Draco hardly recognised his mother's desperate voice. He immediately turned and ran back inside, Hermione right behind him. When he saw the bed his heart stopped for half a second, but when it started up again he almost sagged in relief. Narcissa was holding Lucius' head and for a brief moment he thought his father dead, but then she was kissing his face all over and his hands had come up to clutch at her arms.

"Father," Draco sighed. Narcissa pulled away and Lucius turned his head towards his son. His face was very pale and he looked more tired than Draco had ever seen him, but he didn't look in any danger of dying. He even smiled slightly and held out his hand. Draco stepped forward and grasped it, his feelings turning even more optimistic when he felt his father's strength in the grip.

"Son," Lucius said, his voice only slightly lower than usual. "I assume from the location of my bed that the Light side won?"

"Yes, the Manor is safe." Lucius' brow drew together slightly.

"But the wards. I felt them fall."

"Yes," Draco said. "But only because Harry decided to take them down on his own." Lucius' eyes grew wide in surprise and Draco smiled. "I will explain everything once you are stronger." His father nodded, letting his hand fall back down to the bed. Narcissa reached out and stroked his forehead. "Shall I get Madam Pomfrey?" Draco asked.

"No, please," Lucius said at once. He hadn't enjoyed the witch's care the last time he was in one of her beds. Draco smirked. "Call her when I'm asleep again… now… where is the girl who saved me?" Draco's smirk fell. Lucius eyes shifted to someone standing behind Draco. "Miss Granger, was it?" Draco turned, trying to school his featured. Hermione looked determined to remain neutral, but Draco could tell she was nervous. Lucius motioned with his hand and she stepped forward. Narcissa was eyeing her with uncertainty. "I must thank you, Miss Granger. Without you I would be dead."

"It was nothing," Hermione said, automatically answering with the noble Gryffindor response. She raised her eyes and they locked with Draco's for two seconds longer than was casual. They both knew the other was nervous now.

"When you save someone's life we Slytherins never take it lightly. And there is also Malfoy tradition to consider." Draco nearly choked on his own spit. He stared at his father incredulously. Surely the man must still be injured some way? Hermione looked confused.

"Lucius, dear, surely that is a little… inappropriate, considering?" Narcissa said quietly, glancing between her husband and his saviour. He turned his head to look at her.

"I would be dead if she hadn't been nearby," he said calmly. Narcissa flinched visibly. "You would rather I ignore that?" Lady Malfoy looked torn and a little distressed at the thought of Lucius' close call.

"No, no of course not." She went back to stroking his face, giving herself more comfort rather than him. "But are you quite sure, dear? This is truly… unprecedented." His pale hand came up slowly and stilled hers. They looked into each other's eyes for a long time. Draco felt like he should turn away, but it wasn't often he got to see his parent's deep love, so he revelled in it instead, even through his confusion.

"It is the only way our son can have happiness and remain my heir," Lucius whispered, but the silent room let it travel. Draco suddenly got a nervous and excited feeling in the pit of his stomach. If he understood things correctly it was both wonderful and terrifying. Narcissa nodded and sniffed.

"What exactly is going on?" Hermione asked quietly, looking to Draco for some clue to what she was missing.

"I think my father means to follow tradition," Draco was as formally as he could. "Which means that if any magical being saves a Malfoy, then he or she is to be counted as one of the family in every sense of the word." Hermione's eyes went almost comically wide.

"Even- I mean even…" she stuttered.

"The tradition was written in the Malfoy Code long before concerns of blood saw the light of day," Lucius said. "It has no such specifications. Our marriage code, however," he added with a pointed look at Draco. "-does." Now Hermione looked slightly confused again and Draco couldn't tear himself away from his father's piercing gaze. The only thought he could process was: '_Oh, shit, he knows…'_

"Sir, I…" Hermione began, but fell silent when Lucius raised his hand, though it shook slightly. He was obviously very tired, but didn't waver in his sharp stare. Draco swallowed.

"Such concerns would be void, of course," Lucius went on, his eyes softening the tiniest bit. "If the girl is part of the family, or one of the families in alliance with the Malfoys."

"Father-"

"Spare me explanations or the like," Lucius said tiredly. "And before you even think it, Severus did not betray you, though I suspect he knew for quite some time before even you knew it yourself. I do, however, have some observation skills of my own. It is early days yet, but I thought it best to get this out of the way as soon as possible, that way you don't have to go grey by worrying about it too much. Now go, I must sleep." And with that Lucius lay back and closed his eyes. Narcissa sat down, one hand stroking the blond hair now, and didn't pay her son or his girlfriend any attention. Draco stood stunned for a few moments before taking Hermione's hand and leading her outside again.

"I'm not sure I understand what-" Hermione never got to finish her sentence because Draco was stealing her breath away with a desperate and deeply affectionate kiss.

xxx

Severus felt his consciousness stir and his body slowly registered that he was in a soft bed. Being used to strange and dangerous situations he immediately tried to remember the last thing that happened to him before he lost consciousness. Since he was in a bed he had obviously been saved- _'Harry.'_ He remembered. He had been trying to take Harry back to Hogwarts and then… did that mean he had failed? What had happened to his lover?

Forcing his eyes open even though his body would have liked to remain asleep, Severus saw the ceiling of the Hospital Wing. Nothing terribly surprising there. He managed to turned his head slightly towards what he hoped was the door. Maybe he could call someone-

Harry was sitting right there in the chair beside the bed, asleep and curled up. He looked perfectly fine and Severus almost whimpered in relief. Harry's hair, in complete disarray as always, fell over his eyes. His head was tilted and rested upon his drawn up knees. Severus lay still for a long while, simply watching his love breathe steadily. He heard footsteps and turned his head, feeling more awake every second.

"Good, you're awake," Pomfrey said as she bustled over. "That means I can give you another Dreamless Sleep potion before I go to bed." Severus nearly groaned, but settled for glaring.

"No, thank you," he said. "I'll be moving down to my quarters as soon as possible." Pomfrey sighed as if she expected nothing less.

"I suppose that's alright," she said, surprising Severus. "You are completely healed. But I still want you to take it easy for the next few days."

"Easier said than done," Severus muttered as Pomfrey moved on to the next bed.

"Hmmm Sev'rus?" Harry murmured. Green eyes opened. Harry sat up straight faster than Severus thought possible. "You're awake. How are you feeling?" Severus felt his insides flutter as Harry came over to him and felt his forehead.

"I'm fine. Pomfrey says I can leave." Harry's brows drew together at that.

"I think you should sleep the rest of the night here."

"I would much rather sleep downstairs in my bed… with you," Severus said softly, very pleased when Harry smiled.

"I'd like that too… " Harry's face grew concerned again. "Severus, I'm sorry about yelling at you. We shouldn't have fought like that. It was a stupid argument."

"The first one was perhaps a bit… unnecessary, but you were right on the second point." At Harry's blank look Severus sighed. "I should know by now that you are a man, and make your own choices. I just wish you can understand your own importance."

"I do realise it, Severus. I just couldn't leave like that."

"I… understand."

"You do?"

"I may not like it, or approve of it, but I can't stop you." Harry sighed.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to stop me," he said, cupping Severus' face. "I'll try and be careful, and you try and treat me like an equal. How's that?"

"It's something I suppose… now, help me downstairs. I can't stand a moment longer of that smell." Harry chuckled softly and helped Severus out of bed. He hated how the Hospital Wing smelled too, but thought it funny that Severus, who worked with potions, couldn't handle it. He draped the man's cloak over his shoulders and supported him. Severus tried to push him away several times, insisting he didn't need that much help, but Harry held on all the way down to the dungeons.

Once downstairs and in the bedroom Harry helped Severus into his own nightclothes and stripped himself. They cuddled close, Harry spooning around Severus, and fell asleep faster than either of them thought possible.

xxx

_Interlude: _

As night fell and the participants of the Battle at Malfoy Manor finally let go of the day's stress and hardships, many people seemed to find themselves in couples, as if they all subconsciously knew that it wouldn't be long before the Turning Point came. Even if all the main characters hoped and knew that they were closer than ever to victory, nothing guaranteed their lover's life in future battles.

And so they all paired off, clinging to their better half.

Narcissa stayed with her husband, and watched him sleep all through the night. She stroked his hair and tried to smile fondly instead of weeping. She had come far too close to losing both her strong Malfoy men today, and she could do nothing to stop the threat that would come again before the end. Yet she knew things could be far worse, so she smiled and ignored the tears marring her beautiful face.

Draco took Hermione by the hand and led her outside the Hogwarts wards, hardly noticing the many stars. He apparated them to the Manor, the grounds still in complete ruin, but his bedroom was warm and safe. He lay her down and breathed her in, ignoring the day's events as well as tomorrow. When he ignored everything but her he could pretend they were elsewhere, their identities meaningless, their blood of no consequence. He didn't want to hope, because that was for Gryffindors and fools, so he ignored the lightness in his heart from his father's proclamation earlier, and drew her closer.

Sirius returned to Remus' bed. Once again his love had been the one to get injured, but nothing serious, thank Merlin. Still, it stabbed at his heart worse than any thoughts of his own demise could. Would they be so lucky the next time? Or the next? How many battles would they need to fight? Worse even than that was perhaps the thought that as long as they kept fighting, Harry wasn't confronting Voldemort for the last time. Sirius wanted it to be over so Remus would be out of danger, yet the ending would mean a much larger threat focused on his godson. With these thoughts raging inside him Sirius transformed into Padfoot and jumped up on the bed, snuggling around Remus' feet.

Dumbledore sat in his office, stroking Fawkes absentmindedly as he stared off into the past and future. Would this war end like the last Great War Dumbledore had fought in? Would the destruction of the enemy mean the destruction of a loved one? Harry was as dear to him as a son, and Severus as well. If one died the other would not live long, he was sure. He knew this because the other would follow their love anywhere. The last War would have ended similarly, Dumbledore had thought many times, had not the enemy and the loved one been one and the same, and had not the one who loved been the killer. His old eyes, slightly glazed, drifted over to Fawkes. He petted the bird one last time before extinguishing the lights and going to bed, alone.

xxx

One week later and things were looking a tad chaotic. Voldemort's recent attack had put him back in the minds of the wizarding population. More students were pulled out of school. The Ministry sent out more pamphlets. And Harry snuck off down to the dungeons at every opportunity.

Since the battle Harry and Severus relationship had definitely changed. Nothing an outsider could spot; in fact Harry wasn't even sure what it was, but something was different. In a good way, luckily. Whatever it was it was doing wonders for their sex-life. Severus seemed much more forward and Harry grew more confident with every passing day. One thing weighed heavily on his mind, though, and especially this particular day, one week after Halloween. Dumbledore had summoned everyone to Malfoy Manor, where Harry and the Order were still staying. Everyone meaning Harry, Severus, Sirius, Remus, McGonagall, Pomfrey, the Malfoys, the elder Weasleys and Hermione, the latter having just officially joined the Order along with Draco and Harry after the Battle.

The occasion for such a large meeting was the reason for Harry's unease. He walked upstairs under the cloak beside Severus, trying not to picture himself being eaten alive by the monster he would no doubt find inside Voldemort's head. It scared him like nothing else had ever done before. As soon as they arrived at the Headmaster's office Harry threw off the cloak and stepped close to Severus, soaking up the man's presence. They flooed directly to the drawing room, together so Harry didn't fall. He nodded hello to everyone present, trying to send a smile to his friends and godfather. Sirius smiled back, only a little forced. He still wasn't quite comfortable with Harry spending so much time with Severus, but he was trying his very best not to let it show. Harry saw Remus put a hand on Sirius' back as a sign of approval and support.

"Please gather round," Dumbledore said. Anyone who wanted to could of course take or conjure a chair, but most preferred to remain standing in a large circle. Harry stood directly across from Dumbledore, trying to keep his hands from shaking. "All of you here have been briefed on the Scios Totalus. What Harry is about to do, however, is different. With the Scios combined he will essentially be transported into Voldemort's mind, where he will be able to view anything without Voldemort's knowledge. Since this is very experimental and unknown magic I have informed Poppy on the situation." They were all sending nervous glances at Harry, and he tried to look brave, but he suddenly realised he didn't know how to look particularly brave, despite the fact that people told him he was.

"I recommend you sit down at the very least, Mr. Potter," Pomfrey said, sounding almost reprimanding. She obviously didn't like the idea anymore than he did. Severus put a hand at the small of his back and he allowed himself to be led to the nearby couch. People hovered around, at a polite distance. Harry sat down, but Severus pushed him all the way so he stretched out and tried to imagine himself to be comfortable.

"Remember the spell to turn it off," Severus murmured. "Use it the moment you feel something's not right."

"What could possibly be right inside Voldemort's mind?" Harry asked quietly, but no less incredulously. He thought he heard Sirius snort. Severus didn't flinch at the name anymore. Something in Harry's eyes must have told him of Harry's current fear, for he reached out and, in an uncharacteristic display of affection, placed his hand over Harry's and squeezed. He then rose and stepped back.

"Remember, look for secrets of immortality," Dumbledore reminded him. Harry nodded and closed his eyes. He lifted his hand up over his face and whispered the words of the spell. It worked instantly.

What Harry didn't see, as he was plunged into the recesses of Voldemort's mind, was the shocked and amazed looks on everybody's faces, having just witnessed Harry perform a complex spell wandless without so much as a conscious decision to do so.

"Good luck, my boy," Dumbledore said fondly, a hint of pride in his voice.

-:-

These chapters are getting harder and harder to write. But now the ending is looming nearer! Tomorrow I have my last exam! So I'll have another chapter on Wednesday at the latest! And then probably another by next weekend already. Things are speeding up again!


	31. Chapter 31

The moment I posted the last chapter I started this one. I'm sick of studying and I know enough, I hope.

One day later: I am FINISHED with exams and essays and lectures for 2007. Next semester I'll be writing my bachelor and taking a course on British literature. That will be a welcomed break in between all the history. Another welcomed break is right now! Lots and lots of fanfiction and a whole month in Tokyo where my parents just moved. Yay, I'm soooo excited. Can you tell? I get to go to Disneyworld! (or is it land? I can never remember.)

On with the show!

-:-

Harry had never tried Legilimency before, but he had experienced his share of someone else riffling through his thoughts and he could pretty easily imagine what it was like. What happened when he said the spell, however, was nothing compared to that. Legilimency was a tried and tested technique, with Masters and apprentices. This… this was unknown, untested, and utterly horrifying.

The first sensation was like being flushed down the drain. A dark and wet drain leading Merlin knew where. Straight away Harry knew that nothing was 'right'. It was wet without actually being wet. And the darkness seemed a darkness born out of itself, instead of out of an absence of light. It _breathed_ and pulsed like a creature tightly wound around him. He could feel it close, yet he could not feel his body. He was anchored, floating free in an indefinable substance, and he was a part of that substance all at once.

And that was perhaps the most terrifying thing of all, that he was part of it. He could not define the line between himself and this thing. It was choking him, but he knew he should just stop struggling, because he didn't need to breathe. The thing breathed for him.

He would have opened his mouth to speak the spell that would take him home, back into the arms of his lover, but he could not find his mouth to say anything. Oh, no, he concluded, he was probably stuck inside the monstrous mind of Voldemort forever. He gasped, but it was not his mouth, for it was gone.

"Argh! Incompetent fools!" a voice hissed from somewhere. Vaguely Harry wondered how the sound travelled through the substance and yet reached his non-existent ears. Then he mused on whom it was who had shouted. Was it Severus? Where they in class?

No. This would not do. Harry tried to shake his head and found it somewhat present on his barely-there shoulders. He needed to focus. He was losing parts of himself to this thing. He needed simply to take charge-

"All you had to do was bring them here!" the voice continued and Harry turned his attention to it. By listening and concentrating Harry became more aware of himself in the process. Yes, he was Harry Potter, inside Voldemort's mind, and he was listening to Voldemort himself. He summoned his magic and lifted his hand. Yes, it was there now. He parted the folds of the strange blackness and there was a window. He could see out.

A man was on his knees, his head bent down and hooded. Harry could see Voldemort's wand trained on him. The Death Eater whimpered.

"Please, My Lord! I did the best I could! The Ministry has become more alert! With the incident at the Malfoy estate we have no more willing followers either. Please, if you would just-"

"_Crucio!"_ Voldemort hissed. The man fell to the side, his screams hurting Harry's ears. The Dark Lord held the man under for almost a full five minutes. By the end the man was frothing at the mouth and unconscious. "Take him away!" Voldemort barked. "Make sure he's not dying." Two Death Eaters stepped forward from a large semi-circle Harry only just noticed. It was so dark in the room he could barely see them, but it was so much lighter than inside, he didn't want to turn away from it just yet. "Bella!"

"Yes, My Lord!" Bellatrix fell forward and looked up with mad adoration. She had been closest to his right and now he narrowed his eyes down at her. Harry startled when he realised his own eyes had narrowed. He tilted his head, listening, could he hear the man's thoughts? They were indistinct and strange sounding, almost sibilant.

"I have made my decision regarding France," Voldemort said. Bellatrix' eyes shone with curiosity. "I shall be sending Rastaban and the Carrows. You will remain here."

"My Lord, I would not be parted from you, but surely this assignment is of such importance-"

"Silence," Voldemort hissed. She immediately bowed low. "I need more willing followers, no more Imperius'd. They are not as strong. Your fate has been decided." She stiffened and slowly looked up, confusion written on her face.

"My Lord?" she asked.

"I have thought long on your betrayal, Bella," Voldemort said, a hint of pleasure coating his words. Her eyes went wide with shock and uncomprehending fear. She began to shake her head in denial. "Oh, yes, I know. You went to your sister, you told her of the attack. Now I have decided." She was shaking all over now, her head went back and forth so quickly Harry was sure it would snap off. "Be still!" Voldemort ordered and she bowed again, touching her head to the stone floor.

"My Lord, please, I didn't mean-"

"No more!" Voldemort cut her off. "I do not wish to see your face again. Macnair, Crabbe, you know what to do." The named Death Eaters stepped forward, smug expressions obvious from the look in their eyes, though the rest of their faces were covered. They dragged a screaming Bellatrix from the room, cursing them for touching her and begging her Lord for mercy she had never once given herself. Harry shot a glance at her husband, but his face was behind a mask and his eyes were blank.

Voldemort turned to other matters. Something about muggles connected to wizards or witches within the Ministry. Harry realised he wasn't going to find the information he needed by watching. He pulled back and the black substance immediately swallowed the hole he had made. He shivered, feeling the darkness trying to swallow him too, feeling his edges blur. He focused, keeping himself together, but the connection to Voldemort was unmistakable. He didn't want to think about what it meant.

He tried looking around, but there was nothing to see. He focused on Voldemort's thoughts again, wondering why they sounded so strange, when suddenly it dawned on him. Parseltongue! The moment he realised what he was hearing the sibilant hisses became English. Despite that however, they didn't make much sense to him. Voldemort's mind was, in a word, mad. He went from amazingly focused to thinking about ten things at once. It made Harry's head hurt. What now?

He focused inward again, feeling the magic that was keeping him there. Voldemort could not discover him, he reminded himself, trying to dispel the fear that was still almost paralyzing him. He didn't want to take a deep breath, so he just gritted his teeth and stretched out his magic. _'Immortality,' _he called into the darkness. He waited for an answer, feeling like the black substance was going to consume him. A heartbeat later, it did.

It was like being in a stop-and-go whirlwind. One moment he would be thrown down into the deepest depths, and the next he was witnessing a scene with Tom Riddle in it, hearing his thoughts, following his reasoning. It went too fast, but the moment Harry thought it things slowed down. The sick, black substance permeated the scenes looking like a fog, a miasma of pure evil. Harry could only stare aghast as things slowly became clear to him. Tom Riddle stood tall and forbidding even in his younger, beautiful form, as he branded a follower with his Mark.

_'Yesss,' _the dark mind hissed, already corrupt and half-mad. _'You shall help me all, bind me to this earth…'_ Harry reared away sharply as he recognised the pale face of a young Severus Snape, kneeling and clenching his jaw as his skin sizzled. The blackness enveloped Harry again. He tumbled through it, not wanting to acknowledge what he had seen. A thought suddenly occurred to him.

_'Halloween 1981,'_ he thought turning and watching as the scene came to him easily. He didn't want to see all of it, but he wanted to see the moment of the Killing Curse backfiring. He watched as Voldemort smirked evilly, looming over a baby in a cot. One Avada Kedavra later and Harry saw it, the imprint, or part, left by Voldemort when his spirit flew away in shock and confusion. It seemed to follow the green light still radiating from the crying child and found the scar. It burned green for a moment and then Harry realised he wasn't viewing memories inside Voldemort's mind any longer. He was viewing Voldemort's memories inside himself. The Scios Totalus really gave him access to everything that was Voldemort…

"Stop," Harry gasped, racking his brain to try and find the spell again. He moved his arms as if he was swimming, trying to reach the surface. He cried out the spell to end it and pushed, but there was a part not so willing to leave, that had become entangled with the substance. Harry thrashed and cried out again. It felt as if he was trying not to drown in quicksand. He gulped in what he knew wasn't really air and summoned forth his magic. He screamed as he pushed with all his might, feeling the darkness finally snapping away, recoiling as if stung.

"Get off me!" Harry yelled as he sat up. He pushed and struggled against the thing holding him. The darkness had become hard and strong all of a sudden.

"Harry! Be still! It's me, it's Severus!" The name was like a light tearing through everything and Harry stilled, panting for breath as he reversed course, pulling Severus' body to him instead. "Harry?" Strong arms came around him and Harry tried to steady his breathing. He was sitting on the couch and Severus was obviously on his knees beside him. The thought immediately set off a memory he had recently viewed and he pulled back. One look at Severus' concerned face and he couldn't help himself. He made a strangled noise at the back of his throat and pulled Severus' head close, crushing his lips to those of his love.

Murmurings and conversations could be heard and Harry pulled back again, blushing slightly when he took in the scene. The whole group was standing around the couch, all of them wearing expressions somewhere between concerned, amused and surprised. Sirius looked rather green. Poppy stepped forward and pushed Severus out of the way. She already had her wand out and waved it over Harry's head.

"How are you feeling?" she asked him. He tried to get himself back in the room. His thoughts kept drifting to what he had learned.

"A little dizzy… and nauseous," Harry added. The feeling overcame him suddenly and he leaned forward, pressing a hand to his mouth. Pomfrey was swift to conjure a bucket and Harry failed to hold it in. He vomited violently, feeling like the black substance was coming up and out of his throat. He felt a body sitting at his side, a hand on his back. Hoping it was Severus he finished and was immediately handed a glass of water. He drank heavily. Pomfrey took care of the bucket and smell. When next Harry looked up there was only concern. Even Lucius seemed worried, or perhaps alarmed.

"I'm better now," Harry said weakly. Pomfrey huffed and check him over with a few more spells. Harry leaned into Severus, very pleased when his lover wrapped an arm around his waist.

"I can't detect anything physically wrong with him," Pomfrey declared.

"You should sleep before you explain what happened," Remus said worriedly. Harry shook his head.

"No, I need to get this out."

"You learned something of value I take it?" Severus asked. Harry nodded and looked up at Dumbledore.

"It was like a great black _thing_ surrounding me. I felt as if I was drowning…" Harry took a deep breath before he spoke next. "Voldemort is using the Marked Death Eaters to bind him to this world." People gasped, Severus stiffened and Narcissa clutched her husband's arm. Dumbledore frowned and looked pensive. He started to pace slowly, obviously thinking hard.

"Did you learn anything else?" he asked. Everyone else remained completely silent.

"Yeah," Harry said nervously, glancing at Severus. "The night Voldemort killed my parents he…" Dumbledore stopped and looked at Harry seriously.

"He left a part of his soul in you," Dumbledore guessed. Harry swallowed and nodded. "I have suspected that before. Hopefully it will not present a problem… the Mark, however…" Dumbledore started pacing again.

"Isn't there some way to remove it?" Draco spoke up.

"None that I can imagine," Severus murmured.

"Voldemort's Mark is something he invented himself, though there have been bonds with some similarities in the past… I'm afraid there are only two ways I can think of that will allow Voldemort to die and be sent on his way." The whole room seem to hold its breath as he paused. "One is for Voldemort to willingly release all those who have been Marked… the other is for the bond to be severed at the other end, by the death of all those who are Marked." Harry was on his feet the next instant, not caring that he swayed slightly.

"That's not an option," he growled. "Don't even think it!"

"Harry-" Severus began, standing up, but Dumbledore cut him off.

"He's quite right, Severus. Not only will I not consider it, but it would be impossible to even try. There are simply too many Death Eaters."

"The other option is equally impossible," Severus said.

"Yes," Dumbledore murmured. "Harry, when you were inside his mind, did you sense the connection between you?" Harry nodded, unsure what that had to do with anything.

"It was like a part of me, of _him_ in me, didn't want to leave," he elaborated.

"No," Severus suddenly exclaimed. "Whatever you are thinking _don't_," he almost snarled at Dumbledore.

"Now, now, hear me out," Dumbledore said, looking between Harry and Severus. "If Harry were to use the Scios, along with his connection through his scar, there might be a possibility that he could affect Voldemort's mind… If he's strong enough, which I believe he is, he could force Voldemort's subconscious to release the Death Eaters."

"I'll do it," Harry said at once. "I know I can do it." In truth he did not know, but right then he didn't care.

"No," Severus protested again. "It's ludicrous. For all we know you will be pulled into death right along with him. The bound Death Eaters are most likely the only thing holding him to the world of the living."

"Because he's already died," Harry murmured in understanding. "I'll be able to pull out before that, I did it just now. I'll severe my connection to him as well."

"No, it is not worth the risk," Severus said harshly. Harry gazed at him, then looked to Dumbledore.

"What will happen to the Death Eaters once the bond has been cut?"

"I'm afraid we simply have no way of knowing anything with certainty. It all depends on how much the Mark has affected them. I'll be honest with you, Harry. They may all die instantly, or they may be perfectly fine. There is no way of knowing." Harry closed his eyes a moment, realising there was also no way to keep Severus completely out of danger.

"We must risk it," he acknowledged.

"We will not risk you!" Severus grabbed a hold of Harry's arm, his nails digging into Harry's skin. Harry looked at him with a calm expression.

"What if I were to bond myself to someone else in a similar manner?" he asked suddenly, looking to Dumbledore. "They could help hold me here when Voldemort's dies."

"That is a possibility," Dumbledore allowed with a small nod.

"Then we can form a magic bond," Harry said, turning back to his love with a fierce expression.

"Are you insane?" Severus asked incredulously, taking a step back and letting go of Harry's arm. "And what if I die when my connection to the Dark Lord is cut? I will be the one to drag you down!"

"Exactly!" Harry shouted before he could stop himself. "I don't want to come back to find you dead!" Severus stared at him with wide, shocked eyes. He slowly shook his head dazedly.

"No," he almost whispered and Harry's heart clenched. "No, I will not bond with you." The room was silent for a long while as the two lovers simply stared at each other. Harry knew Severus was saying no because he didn't want to risk it, but in his heart it felt as if his lover had just refused the same as a marriage proposal. It wasn't, that wasn't possible, but it still hurt like it. Harry tore his eyes away and almost ran from the room. Severus followed immediately. Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance and then followed as well, feeling they needed to make sure nobody got hurt. Everybody else seemed too shocked to move.

In the entrance hallway Harry half-ran to the stairs. He could hear Severus' footsteps pounding loudly on the stone floor.

"Stop at once, you foolish Gryffindor!" Severus snarled just as Harry reached the first step. He swirled around and glared at the older man.

"Foolish Gryffindor? Is that all I am to you?" Remus and Sirius stopped at the door. They could feel the magic energy vibrating.

"No, I also think you are the most selfish man I know," Severus spat, grabbing hold of Harry's arm. Harry wouldn't let him, yanking himself free.

"Selfish?!" Harry cried.

"Everybody talks of the noble and self-sacrificing Harry Potter!" Severus said sarcastically. "But you are _selfish_! You want to die with me to save yourself from a little heartache, and you think _nothing_ of the people you leave behind who would mourn you! Your family and friends, do they mean nothing?" Harry's eyes had filled with tears and he was shaking with emotion. He shook his head.

"They mean a lot, but I can't live without you," he said.

"I am not dead yet," Severus said softly, almost imploringly. A single tear spilled from Harry's eye and he reached out. They embraced tightly and Harry soon found Severus' mouth with his own. They kissed as if the only air they could breathe was air shared with their love. When Harry pulled back he rested his head on Severus shoulder.

"What do we do?" he asked, oblivious to the retreating forms of Remus and Sirius as they left the pair alone.

"We take our chances and we fight," Severus said. "You will do all you can and _kill_ that bastard. Then we must simply hope." Harry nodded, not lifting his head.

"If Voldemort never existed," he said softly. "And if it was legal for two men-"

"In a heartbeat," Severus cut him off, not needing Harry to finish the question. Harry raised his head and they kissed again. Marriage was something Severus knew he would never have, and he had never wished for it so it hadn't mattered that it wasn't legal for two men… until that moment. Harry kissed him with such sadness and desperation.

"I wanted to fight so my loved ones would be safe," Harry whispered when they parted, their foreheads resting against each other.

"You cannot keep us all safe," Severus told him. "You must learn that or you will go mad with grief and guilt." Severus pulled back so that he could look into Harry's eyes. He had gotten his glasses back since the battle, but they were still the modern version Black had transfigured. Severus had grown accustomed to Harry's mature face since then. Right now, though, with those green eyes filled with frustrated tears, he couldn't help but remember that Harry was still young. "I told you once that you would kill Him only when you were good and ready," Severus said softly. "That time is nearing now. You are ready."

"Yes," Harry agreed calmly. "I am." He took Severus hand in his. "Come to bed with me." Severus knew not how he could refuse as Harry led him confidently upstairs to his room. He remembered the last time they had had sex in there, when he had snuck up thanks to Lucius. He tried not to think about the rather large group of people downstairs who no doubt would be able to guess what they were doing after a while. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that Severus savour every moment. Like anything beautiful and good, his time with Harry would no doubt come to an end all too soon, and with a finale that would rival the fall of a great empire.

-:-

I love writing dramatic and loud conversations, like the one between Harry and Severus. Actually, when I first came up with my idea on how to kill Voldemort (that time I stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk) it was this very scene that came to me. It's turned out almost exactly like I pictured. I'm just not very good at the quiet moments of angst. I'm all for drama. Hope you like it!

Note on Voldemort's immortality: I know a lot of stories that use the Mark as a way for Voldemort to either keep himself immortal or take control of the Death Eaters' magic. I realise the similarities, but feel I'm original enough with the Scios and _how_ Harry defeats him that there is no plagiarising.

Don't worry, just because Harry is using the Scios doesn't mean there is no more fighting! Lots more action to come. I have this great moment planned I can't wait to write! We're soooooo close!


	32. Chapter 32

Thanks so all my reviewers! I'm so glad people are still enjoying my story.

-:-

The next morning Harry woke up and nearly fell out of bed. Quickly he checked his memory and discovered that it was Saturday. That was the only reason he could think of to explain why Severus was still in bed with him. They didn't very often get to enjoy their mornings together. When the shock wore off Harry smiled to himself and snuggled close to Severus, tucking his head underneath Severus' chin and draping an arm over the firm chest. His lover made a content noise and held Harry close, causing the younger wizard to sigh in contentment himself. He knew Severus was awake now. He could tell by the man's breathing.

"Wish we could stay in bed all day," Harry whispered. Severus didn't say anything, but after a while he let go of Harry and sat up. Harry watched him dress silently. Severus turned around when he was finished and looked at Harry searchingly.

"Come on, get up," he said. Harry obeyed and Severus watched him this time. When they were finished they left together and made their way downstairs to the dining room where breakfast was usually served at Malfoy Manor. To Harry's surprise the whole group from yesterday was still there. A tenseness hung over the room, along with a good dose of apprehension. They all looked up when the pair entered. Harry looked around confusedly as they sat down beside each other, next to Hermione and Draco and across from Sirius and Remus.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, looking up to the head of the table were Dumbledore was talking quietly to Lucius. Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance and then the latter slowly picked up a copy of the _Daily_ _Prophet_ and silently handed it over. Harry took it and read the front page, Severus reading over his shoulder. His stomach plummeted.

_Ministry Muggles Under Attack, by Rita Skeeter. _

_Last night a series of attacks occurred all around Britain. Reports so far have no information on the size of the attacks or the amount of casualties, only scattered reports. The targets were all muggles that were in some way connected to employees of the Ministry of Magic. So far the list of confirmed attacks have risen to over twenty-five families at least. St. Mungo's has had to remove nearly all it's anti-muggle charms to accommodate the high number of patients. This seems to suggest that even muggles who have a connection to Ministry employees, but are _not_ on the list of magic-informed muggles, have been affected by these attacks. _

_The culprits seem to be Death Eaters, though this remains unconfirmed. The Ministry has been in complete chaos as witches and wizards from every department try and contact their family and friends in the muggle world. One thing seems clear: so far every house checked by Aurors on the magic-informed muggle list have been attacked. One can only wonder how many other muggles have died without even knowing why or how. _

_How did You Know Who find all these muggles? This morning a source inside revealed that during the last attack on the Ministry by You Know Who's forces the records of all magic-informed muggles was stolen, along with the records containing muggle-borns, werewolved, magical creatures and criminal records. Why was not the public informed of this and why hasn't the Ministry done anything to check on the people on the lists before now? Neither the Minister nor any of the Head of the affected Departments were available for comment. The ease with which these attacks have been carried out, during the course of only one night, is proof not only of You Know Who's strength, but another example of the Ministry's ineffectiveness. This reporter is still waiting for action to be taken. The public needs more than just information, of which we have been given only the bare minimum it now seems, but also a Ministry that is willing to go on the offensive. I urge the Minister to answer for himself and his policies. _

When Harry finished he immediately looked up to Hermione with slight alarm in his eyes. She smiled reassuringly, recognising the look.

"I got them away months ago, Harry," she said softly. Harry noted that both her and Draco's hands were under the table. "They don't know anything about magic, and I made sure they are far away." Harry nodded, very relieved and glanced back down to the paper. He still knew quite a number of muggle-borns. What about the Dursleys? He didn't really care about them, but couldn't make himself wish they were dead. As things were now it seemed unlikely they would be getting an accurate list of the casualties for quite some time. Still, the guilt was already settling deep in Harry's gut.

"I should use the Scios as soon as possible," Harry said, staring at the article.

"No," Severus, Remus and Sirius all exclaimed rather harshly at the same time, causing Harry to look up startled. Severus seemed to take it from there. He put a heavy hand on Harry's shoulder. "You will not be doing anything rash," he said sternly.

"There's no point in waiting for more people to die when I know how to defeat him!" Harry countered, glaring at Severus slightly, but not wanting them to get in a fight again.

"Harry," Dumbledore spoke up and all heads turned to him. "You must indeed use the Scios as soon as possible, but it will not be possible before you have done a few exercises for me." His voice was more grave than usual and there was no twinkle, so Harry knew there was no room for argument. He nodded his agreement and his lover, along with his "parents" relaxed visibly.

"What sort of exercises?" Harry asked.

"You have a lot of magical energy inside you, Harry," Dumbledore said. "I would like to try and see if you can focus it outside of a combat situation and use it while casting real spells, like you did during the battle." Harry frowned in thought, thinking about the way he had broken the wards and then put up a new one. He had used a real spell for the latter, but breaking the wards had been just like his random magic from when he was little, only he had done it on purpose.

"Sir, when I broke the wards, I didn't use a spell," Harry said. Everyone around the table seemed to blink. "I did use a spell afterwards… but I can't even remember what it was."

"What about when you where inside the Dark Lord's mind?" Severus asked.

"I said the spell to turn off the Scios," Harry said with a shrug. "But when the black stuff wouldn't let me go I just sort of… _pushed_." Everyone exchanged glances, except Harry who was looking increasingly flustered.

"Harry," Hermione spoke up. "Usually magic like that only occurs with children who haven't learned any spells, though never with such force… I always assumed that if you managed to harness any or all of that magic energy then you would cannel it into proper spells." She looked to Dumbledore for confirmation, who nodded thoughtfully.

"Quite right, Miss Granger. I have known since Harry's childhood that he possesses large amounts of magic." He turned to Harry. "I did, however, assume you had managed to focus it through spells. After all your bouts of subconscious magic ceased after you came to Hogwarts." Severus made a coughing sound at the back of his throat and Harry turned to him sharply. "Severus?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"Do you need a glass of water, Severus?" Harry asked a little too quickly.

"Harry…" Severus began, looking imploringly at his love.

"Don't," Harry said.

"Harry, they need to know."

"It's none of their business. I can't believe you would betray me like this," Harry hissed, glaring at Severus.

"Albus needs to know everything about your magic. Lives are at stake." It was perhaps a cheap shot, considering Harry's disposition to feel responsible for everybody's life. He glared hard for a moment longer and then turned away, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Harry, what is he talking about?" Sirius asked, concern written plainly on not only his face, but on all the faces currently gazing at the young wizard. Lucius was eyeing Severus curiously and Narcissa seemed to examining her nails. Harry didn't answer but simply closed his eyes, waiting for Severus to do it.

"Harry has been using a subconscious glamour over the whole of his back, chest and arms since he started muggle primary school. It was only last Christmas that he finally dropped them." Silence met this statement and Harry squeezed his eyes shut a little tighter. He braced himself for the next question, though he was surprised by who asked it.

"What exactly were these glamours concealing?" Madam Pomfrey asked. "I never once detected any such glamours on the boy, and I have examined him a fair few times."

"That only proves how effective they were," Severus pointed out. "And as for what they were concealing I think only Harry has the right to tell you that." He looked to his lover, and Harry turned sharp eyes to him.

"Gee, thanks," he said sarcastically. "This is exactly how I wanted to spend my morning after being inside a lunatics mind last night. Thanks a lot."

"Harry," Sirius spoke up again, sounding pained. "Why were you using glamours?" Harry looked away from all the concerned faces, staring off into the wall.

"Scars," he said, his voice completely void of any emotion. "Scars from the Dursleys. Belt marks mostly, but quite a few burns as well courtesy of my dear aunt. Dudley only ever left bruises, which healed without scarring." Harry didn't look at anybody, but he imagined their faces pretty accurately. Sirius and Remus looked stricken, as did Draco. Hermione had tears in her eyes, as did the elder Weasleys. Even Lucius and Narcissa looked shocked, who only ever spoiled their son rotten. It seemed even they had trouble imagining someone doing that to a small child. Dumbledore looked older than ever before, he closed his eyes, a tear escaping. Severus reached out and gently put a hand on Harry's back.

"Don't touch me," Harry whispered. Severus drew back as if stung.

"I think," Dumbledore began quietly. "That Harry would prefer it if we simply moved on." Harry's eyes snapped to the Headmaster, relief and surprise evident in them. "This does prove, however, that Harry is apparently capable of manipulating raw magic and bend it to his will. This is a skill that was believed to have died out, since spells now allow us to control almost everything we need magic to do for us. The power and strength required to _will_ something to happen is too great for the average witch or wizard. Not even Voldemort has been able to do this… it seems Harry does have several powers the Dark Lord knows not." Harry frowned, not liking the description very much. He didn't want to be powerful. "His own power and inner strength, along with the combined Scios Totalus." Dumbledore paused for a long moment, clearly thinking. "If you would accompany me to Hogwarts, Harry, we shall still try a few tests." He rose from the table and nodded to the host and hostess. Harry got up readily, glad to be away from all the pitying stares. He didn't even glance at Severus.

They flooed to Hogwarts, leaving the dining room at Malfoy Manor in complete and utter silence. Severus looked at the chair were Harry had been sitting in, an unreadable expression on his face.

"You did the right thing, Severus," Remus murmured softly, causing the Potions Master to snap his head up. "Dumbledore needed to know."

"What I want to know is how you knew and why the scars are gone now," Sirius said, a clear edge to his voice.

"Some time after Harry's expulsion I was sent to check on him at the Dursleys," Severus said, lying to cover his use of the Scios. "I rescued him from a whipping by Vernon Dursleys."

"A whipping?" Hermione exclaimed, shocked. Severus looked at her as if he had only just noticed she was there.

"Yes," he continued. "A whipping. Harry's subconscious let the glamours fall when Dursley beat him, so he wouldn't be punished for making past scars disappear. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone, and I also provided him with a salve last Christmas."

"Last Christmas…" Sirius breathed. His eyes narrowed suddenly. "That was when I came up after you had gone to find Harry without his shirt, drawing a picture of you."

"I helped him, nothing more," Severus said, his voice holding a clear warning that Sirius should not accuse him of anything else. Remus put a hand on Sirius' shoulder to calm him.

"I think it is best if we all get back to work," Remus said. "And I also think none of us should mention the scars to Harry. He clearly didn't want any of us to know." Everyone around the table nodded their agreement, and then people started getting up. Lucius and Arthur went to work. Hermione and Draco went back to Hogwarts, along with Pomfrey and Severus. Sirius, Remus and Narcissa were the only ones who remained, and Remus soon had to go out on Order business. Needless to say, the last two remaining spent their day in complete opposite ends of the house.

xxx

"… ops…" Harry stared at the ruin that had once been the Room of Requirement, which had formerly been a training room. With Harry using his full magical potential and simply _willing_ things to happen, the results tended to be… explosive. It made Harry wonder how many times the Room could remake itself before it became exhausted. Merlin knew, Harry already was. The explosive results could also be connected to his current mood, which had not improved since leaving Malfoy Manor. His thoughts kept straying to Severus. He wanted to be angry with the man, but all he could do was feel guilty over his treatment of him. Severus had done so much for him over the years, he didn't deserve that, especially not in front of everybody else.

They continued practicing and Harry became quickly adept at toning done the force of his magic. Once he stopped thinking about spells, like when he was in the middle of battle and simply reacting, things became much easier to control, strangely enough. He had just managed to transfigure a cushion into a blender when Dumbledore stopped him.

"Excellent, Harry," Dumbledore said. His eyes hadn't held their usual twinkle all day, though Harry was extremely glad the Headmaster had not mentioned the Dursleys. "I think that is enough. It is clear that you have the strength of will to control your magic. I think that inside Voldemort's mind spells will only slow you down."

"Yeah," Harry nodded. "I could hardly talk at all most of the time anyway."

"Yes… I think you are ready, my boy," Dumbledore said. Harry looked at him, a little surprised, but glad.

"Thank you, Sir," he said. "I know I'm ready." Dumbledore nodded.

"Go back to Malfoy Manor. Rest. Make sure that you focus your magic from time to time, just to feel it. In a few days I will come to you and we will proceed. Do not activate the Scios without me present." Harry nodded, agreeing completely on that point. He started for the door, and had just reached it when Dumbledore spoke again. "I would never have placed you with them if I had known." Harry turned back, looking into sad blue eyes, so old and tried Harry almost wanted to go to sleep just looking at them.

"I know, Sir," he said quietly, taking out his invisibility cloak. He threw it over himself and left, making his way quickly back to the Headmaster's office. He stopped outside the gargoyle, his mouth open to say the password. But then he closed it again and turned away. Instinct told him that Severus had returned. He walked slowly down to the dungeons, thinking about what he should say, if he was still angry, if he wanted Severus to apologies, or if he simply wanted to forget the whole thing and be with his lover. There weren't many students out in the hallways since most were being lazy in their common rooms. Harry finally reached the carved door and hesitated. In the end he decided to knock for a change.

When Severus opened the door it took half a second while looking at the empty corridor to understand who it was. He stepped back and allowed Harry to enter. He wanted to beg Harry's forgiveness, but at the same time he knew he had done the right thing by informing Dumbledore, but perhaps he shouldn't have done it at the breakfast table? But if Harry was here then surely the young man wanted to make up? Or was he just here to yell at Severus? Harry became visible, throwing the cloak over a chair. They stood a good distance away from each other, both simply staring.

"I'm sorry," Severus said quickly, hoping Harry didn't see it as a betrayal that was unforgivable. Severus' one true fear, that their relationship was a fragile thing, seemed very real to him in that moment. Harry sighed.

"I'm sorry too," he said, surprising Severus. "I don't want to fight. There's too much fighting in the world already. I don't care if people know." This Severus knew was a lie, but he didn't say anything. "I just want to be with you for as long as we can." Severus felt his heart clench at the thought, so he walked quickly over to his lover and bent his head to claim a kiss. Harry wound himself around Severus like a vine. Severus bent his knees and put his hands under Harry's thighs, lifting the smaller man up and walking blindly towards the bedroom. Harry kissed and groped him enough to make his breathless and needy by the time they fell on the bed together in a tangle of limbs.

"Let me try something," Harry whispered. Severus barely heard him as they continued to kiss and touch, though he grew increasingly irritated by the amount of clothes between them.

Suddenly he gasped, loudly. He opened his eyes wide and saw a grinning Harry sitting straddled over his middle, completely naked, just like he himself suddenly was. Harry leaned forward, moving his bottom so that Severus gasped again. Green eyes were alight with mischief, something that once would have made the professor suspicious, but Severus for once didn't want to take points at all, instead he wanted to give… and give.

"I think I enjoy my magic bending to my will," Harry whispered, sliding a hand down Severus's chest. He rocked forward and they both moaned. Harry's hand glided smoothly up again and down Severus' arm, hovering over the Mark. "Wish I could will this to disappear."

"Magic will always have limits," Severus said. "You may be powerful, but you are not omnipotent." Harry sighed and pressed his lips to Severus'. Their tongues duelled for a while, until Harry's hand snaked between them, causing Severus to break away with a needy sound at the back of his throat. "I think I would like to fuck you today," Harry whispered, grabbing Severus' member almost harshly. Severus groaned.

"I think I'd like that too," was the only thing he managed to say coherently for a very long time.

xxx

When Harry arrived back at Malfoy Manor, feeling much better after a good, long shag, he found Sirius in his room. The former prisoner couldn't go outside as people were cleaning up the garden and re-strengthening the wards. He didn't mention the scars, though Harry could tell he wanted to. They spent the remainder of the day together, Harry taking care to stop every now and then and simply feel his magic coming to him. He noted how much better he was at remembering to do this that he had been at clearing his mind in fifth year.

Harry was very glad when Severus snuck away from Hogwarts to have dinner at Malfoy Manor. It was an odd group: Harry, Severus, Sirius, Remus and the two Malfoys. The Order members were all out working, or perhaps Lucius didn't allow just anyone to eat with them, Harry wasn't sure. He got to say a sweet good night to Severus, alone in front of the fireplace. It wasn't until he was in his bed, darkness all around him, that the thought he had been trying to avoid all day finally came back.

Muggle attacks passed through his mind. He could imagine the Death Eaters' cruelty. He shuddered when he thought of going back into Voldemort's mind, but he knew he had to do it. He also thought about Severus and the Dark Mark, and wished with all his magic that his love would survive. He knew magic didn't work that way, however, so he finally drifted off into a restless sleep.

xxx

The next day Harry came down for breakfast to a very loud scene. The dining room was filled with people, hardly any of them sitting. All of them seemed to be trying to talk over each other. Harry noticed Padfoot sitting by Remus' feet. He looked around the room and noted a few Aurors. Finally he spotted Dumbledore and the wizard took out his wand, shooting loud sparks into the air and causing everybody to fall silent.

"Please, if everyone would sit down. Auror Shacklebolt, if you and your men would sit here." He indicated the end of the table, which had been enlarged to accommodate everybody. Draco and Hermione were there too, and Harry nodded hello to them. They seemed nervous. "Harry, please sit." He went over and sat by Dumbledore's right, the Aurors across from him. A moment later and Severus sat down beside him. Harry was confused and nervous. He glanced at Severus who shook his head, telling Harry he would need to wait for Dumbledore to explain.

"First things first," Dumbledore declared. "For those of your who don't know the full story, after the attacks and the article in the _Daily Prophet_ the Ministry has decided to go on the offensive. They are planning to attack what they believe is Voldmort's stronghold; Riddle Mansion. Auror Shacklebolt?" Dumbledore sat down while the Auror stood, surveying the people seated around them.

"This is the Minister's doing. He wants to appear in control and capable of taking charge of the war. He is risking all our lives to do this. Every single expert, and our Department Head, have all advised him against it. The wards on the place alone will no doubt claim more lives than the last battle did altogether. We have therefore come here to ask for help. Many Aurors have become increasingly positive to the Order, and I know my men will be glad to have you fighting beside us. The problem is that we have so little time to prepare. Fudge wants to attack today." Murmurings broke out through the group. Shacklebolt had obviously been swaying more Aurors to Dumbledore's side, but Harry wondered how well the attack would go regardless of the extra numbers.

"It is suicide," Lucius spoke up plainly. "The wards are nothing. The Dark Lord has creatures guarding the place and without any preparation you won't know what to expect." Shacklebolt leaned forward, resting his hands on the table.

"So you confirm that He is at the Riddle Mansion?"

"I said no such thing. I am merely telling you what he will have as protection," Lucius answered smoothly.

"You know where he is, if you at least _confirm_ it then we will have one less doubt to worry about!"

"For all I know the Dark Lord could have moved since I was in his employ."

"Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater," one of the Aurors muttered.

"Don't speak that way in my Father's house," Draco spoke up sharply. "We are working for the Order, not some mindless idiot calling himself Minister."

"It seems to me that you aren't doing much for the Light in general, sitting in your Manor, hav-"

"That's enough," Shacklebolt interrupted. Draco opened his mouth to retort, but fell silent when Lucius raised his hand. "This is pointless. Headmaster, we need help, are you willing?" Dumbledore looked to Harry, their eyes meeting in silent communication, before he turned back to the Auror.

"This will be a dangerous battle," he said, his words heavy with meaning. "Possibly the last battle. I must leave it up to each individual to fight or not. I, unfortunately, cannot be there, nor will Harry Potter."

"What? Why?" Shacklebolt asked. "Potter was amazing at the last battle. He would boost moral considerably." Harry looked away at the praise, but luckily Dumbledore answered for him.

"I shall be working with Harry on a way to destroy Voldemort. It is vital that we begin as soon as possible." Shacklebolt thought for a moment and then nodded his understanding. He looked down the long table.

"So, who's with us?" The murmurings broke out again, but after a moment Remus, the Weasleys and several seasoned Order members stood. A heartbeat later and Hermione and Draco had risen, along with Severus and Lucius, who raised a mocking eyebrow at the Auror who had doubted him. He held a firm hand on his wife's shoulder, no doubt preventing her from standing. She looked pale, but didn't struggle. Everyone around the table except for Harry and Dumbledore stood in the end. The Aurors looked a bit shocked, not to mentioned relieved. "Right," Shacklebolt said. "Here's the plan…"

-:-

Oh, I can never get enough of those cliffhangers. (Big unapologetic smirk). Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Next one will be out asap!


	33. Chapter 33

I tried to write this as quickly as possible because of the cliffhanger. Hope you all enjoy this. Thanks to all my reviewers! You made me write faster!

Inspiration for Harry's experience in Voldemort's mind has been taken from a variety of films and books. Most notably perhaps is _Endless Sunshine of a Spotless Mind,_ only my version is obviously more twisted.

Note: Amelia Bones dies in HBP, I believe, and therefore her death is not included in this fic as I only follow canon up to OotP.

Last note, I promise: This chapter contains violence and the deaths of several characters. Please forgive me, but someone's gotta die in war.

-:-

It took several hours before Shacklebolt left, and even longer for people to get ready. The Auror returned an hour or so before sunset and things were finally set in motion.

As people hurried about at Malfoy Manor, and the time to apparate drew near, Harry and Severus found each other and silently made their way to the empty library. The moment the door was closed they pressed together, clutching tightly to each other and kissing almost madly. Soon they both slowed down, letting the kiss become gentle instead of desperate. Severus hands moved from Harry's buttocks to his waist, hugging the slightly smaller man to him.

"Be careful," Harry whispered when they broke apart, though they kept on embracing.

"Only if you are," Severus murmured. "You must pull out-"

"Ssh," Harry interrupted him, kissing him softly. "No point in last minute instructions. Just kiss me." Severus did so gladly. Both of them were thinking along the same lines; that this could easily be the last time they kissed. Severus' thoughts also focused on how amazing his life had turned out; that he had managed to fall in love with such a wonderful creature and that Harry loved him back. The younger wizard, on the other hand, was praying to all the gods in the heavens that Severus remembered how much Harry loved him, and that if he felt Voldemort's death tugging at him, to fight it with all his strength.

The door opened and they both turned their heads towards it. When Sirius' head poked in the door they reluctantly let go of each other. Sirius frowned when he saw them embracing, but tried to fight it as he stepped into the room. Remus came in after him.

"We're leaving now to join the Aurors," Sirius said, looking at Harry with an unreadable expression. He held out his hand. "Good luck." Harry took it, and wasn't surprised when Sirius pulled him into a tight hug.

"How are you going to fight?" Harry asked, his voice soft and breathless.

"Glamours mostly," Sirius said as he let go. "Hopefully, by the time they fall the Aurors will just be looking for the ones in masks." Harry nodded, silently hoping that Wormtail was caught this time. He wished he could do it, just to have the pleasure. Remus was next to hug Harry, though he actually let Harry breathe. They all nodded to each other. Remus took Sirius by the arm when he looked reluctant to leave, and dragged him out. Harry and Severus embraced one last time.

"You'll be fine," Severus said in an odd moment of forced optimism. Harry only smiled and nodded; watching as his lover quietly closed the door behind him. He closed his eyes, listening to the faint popping noises as the Order members apparated. It wasn't long before the huge house was completely silent. Then Harry heard slow footsteps and he opened his eyes as the door once again opened. Dumbledore stood in the doorway, his eyes without twinkle, but shining with a different light altogether.

"Shall we do this in the drawing room? Madam Pomfrey has decided to stay and help." Harry nodded, swallowing thickly. He couldn't seem to find the words. He followed Dumbledore to the drawing room. Madam Pomfrey was seated on one of the couches. Harry sat down opposite her and lay down. Dumbledore patted his shoulder. "Good luck," he said. Harry nodded his thanks and glanced at the medi-witch. She was casting monitoring spells and seemed to have brought a few instruments from Hogwarts Harry had rarely seen before, only when he had been seriously injured. He looked up at the ceiling. It was quite beautiful, with an old chandelier in the centre, reflecting light from the windows.

"Alright," Pomfrey said, obviously ready with her spells and instruments.

"Good," Dumbledore said. He looked down at Harry. "Remember what we discussed during the training. You must use your connection. Don't pull away. Dive deeper. If he discovers you pull out and we will start again. Hopefully, he will be too busy with the battle to notice." Harry nodded, knowing that a lot of what he was about to do would have to be by instinct. He dreaded going back into the blackness, but he also knew that this time he at least knew what to expect… somewhat at least.

"If I can't pull out in time, will you give my wand to Severus?" Harry asked. "And my other stuff to Sirius?"

"Don't worry, Harry. I'll take care of it," Dumbledore said kindly. Harry nodded, but he had to ask one last thing because everything had happened so fast and he hadn't been able to take care of it himself.

"Could you give my drawings out to everybody? Except my notebook. Severus has to have my notebook, it's private. They're all in my room upstairs."

"Yes, of course," Dumbledore said. "But I am confident it will be unnecessary." Harry tried to smile, but failed. He took a deep breath, knowing it would be the last one that felt clean for a long time. He raised his hand as he closed his eyes again, completely forgetting his wand. He subconsciously knew he wouldn't be needing it. He whispered the spell and was once again plunged into darkness.

Dumbledore put a hand on Harry's forehead, feeling the boy's temperature drop considerably. This had happened the last time as well, but not to the point of being dangerous. He simply cast a good warming charm and sat down in a nearby chair. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, feeling the magic in the room.

His own was considerable, as it had always been. Madam Pomfrey was a strong witch, but she was a tiny star compared to the sun that was Harry. The boy simply radiated it, and a person who was strong enough to feel the nuances, like Dumbledore, could easily tell when Harry was no longer inside his body. The sun dimmed as if Harry were dying, but Dumbledore knew the boy was merely somewhere else, inside the mind of another. He would, however be able to feel if Harry died and left this world completely. He only hoped the sun would rise again soon.

xxx

Great Hangleton was only six miles from Little Hangleton, though neither were very big towns. The Aurors had taken over the dingy police station that served both towns, converting it to a meeting point for everybody who was going to fight. It now had a wizard-space room in its basement, filled to the brim with witches and wizards. A group of high-ranking Aurors stood around a large table off to the side, arguing heatedly over a map. Many Aurors looked on with suspicion as the Order members apparated inside, though none of them protested. Shacklebolt made his way over to the table and had a whispered conversation with Amelia Bones herself, who stood at the head of the table looking very displeased.

Severus scanned the room quickly and efficiently. He drew his winter cloak tighter around him. Not only was it a cold outside, but his black winter cloak gave by far the best magical protection. He wondered why the Minister had let the Head of the Department take care of things instead of doing the job himself. Then again perhaps it wasn't so surprising. Amelia Bones certainly didn't look like she wanted the job. She was obviously letting the seasoned Aurors handle the tactics. After Shacklebolt spoke to her she looked up at the steadily growing group of Order members. She smiled and came over, taking McGonagall by the hand.

"Thank you so much for granting your assistance," she said.

"No need to thank me," McGonagall said. "Every Order member is here of their own choice. I have been to Hogwarts and enlisted a few teachers as well."

"The school is still safe I hope?" Bones asked.

"Of course," McGonagall replied, slightly indignantly. "Albus secured the wards and he is fully aware if anything should happen. He is staying at Malfoy Manor and will be in contact with me." Bones nodded, seeming more pleased as she surveyed the new arrivals.

"Shacklebolt tells me Mr. Potter is working on something important?"

"Yes, he and Albus Dumbledore are working as we speak, but I am afraid I cannot tell you anything more about it."

"Very well, I understand." Bones nodded her thanks once again and returned to the table. After a while the Head Auror made an announcement.

"There are still a few minutes before the sun is down. Your team leaders have your apparating coordinates. The Order of the Phoenix will be divided among you." Severus allowed himself, Remus and a glamoured Sirius to be assigned to a group of, thankfully, older Aurors. When they recognised Severus they actually surprised him by looking relieved and asking him if he knew any really good curses. As they received their orders and positions Severus couldn't help but feel the whole operation was doomed unless Harry managed to get to the Dark Lord first. He had never been so acutely aware of the Mark on his forearm when it wasn't being activated.

xxx

Harry tried not to feel totally grossed out when he was submerged in the blackness again. He couldn't help but shiver, however, and recoiled slightly when he felt the stuff around him try and get too close like last time. The only problem was that this time he was _supposed_ to let it get to him, so to speak.

Knowing this didn't make it any easier, though, and Harry at first put all his effort into remaining whole and separate from the mind he was in. This couldn't go on, of course, but he still didn't make a move. Instead, he reached out and parted the dark substance to make a window like last time. It felt better because he was keeping the darkness at bay and wasn't feeling his edges blur. He stared out of Voldemort's eyes. The wizard was in a room. It looked like it had gone grey with age. The wooden walls and bare floor seemed cold. A fireplace was in front and to the right from the chair Voldemort was presumably sitting in. Harry saw a small table with a glass of what looked to be wine, but Harry didn't want to put money on that assumption. Slowly a long-fingered, scaly hand reached out and grabbed the glass. Harry was very glad he couldn't taste whatever it was Voldemort was drinking. It looked decidedly more blood-like when the firelight reflected through the glass. Wondering what the creature was thinking, Harry tilted his head and listened.

It was chaotic, like last time, but some thoughts came through clear. _'Silly muggles. Always a source of amusement. What stories! Pity I didn't kill them myself. But he'll come now… he'll have to come. He's too Gryffindor not to come. Soon, very soon. And if he doesn't… I'll just have to strike again.'_ Harry knew then that the Dursleys were dead. He didn't feel remorse exactly, but he felt guilty that he hadn't made sure they were better protected. A door creaked open and Voldemort's eyes snapped to the side, but the door was behind him so all Harry saw was a window. The sun had just gone down, and the sky was red.

"What is it?" Voldemort hissed. Some shuffling was heard and then Peter Pettigrew came into view. He was wringing his hands and looked guilty as sin.

"My Lord…" Wormtail began. "Dawlish is here with news…"

"And why are you bothering me with it? What's happened?" Voldemort demanded.

"Shall I let him in? He can tell you in person. I think that would be best." Wormtail was obviously terrified of telling his Master himself.

"Tell me now!"

"The Aurors are going to attack us!" Wormtail blurted. "They're getting ready right now."

"Why wasn't I informed before now?" Voldemort asked, though there was no heat in his voice, which seemed to surprise Wormtail.

"Dawlish said he didn't know of the attack until a few hours ago. He had a day off yesterday and didn't get called in-"

"That's enough," Voldemort cut him off. "Tell Macnair to _kill_ that fool, slowly, and get out of my sight."

"My- My Lord?" Wormstail stuttered. "What about the attack? Shouldn't you summon the other Death Eaters?"

"Are you questioning me, Wormtail?" Voldemort hissed. Pettigrew immediately fell to his knees and bowed his head, his entire body shaking.

"No-no, My Lord! Please! I didn't mean anything by it!"

"Shut up," Voldemort told him tiredly with a wave of his hand. "The wards and Inferi will take care of the Aurors. Do not disturb me again."

"But-"  
"OUT!" Wormtail scurried out as fast as the rat he could transform into. Harry was very glad the bastard was too cowardly to even inform Voldemort that the Order members were also fighting. He only hoped there weren't too many of those Inferi. Harry remembered reading about them in his DADA book.

Concluding that now was as good a time as any, Harry drew back and let the hole close. Swallowing the feeling of absolute dread Harry let himself drift, letting go of the rigid hold on his body. Immediately the blackness seemed to swarm in on him and blend with a part of him, the part that was Voldemort. Instead of rearing back in fear, Harry followed the darkness, allowing himself to drown in it. For a moment nothing seemed to happen, and then everything happened at once.

xxx

Severus crouched instinctively the moment he had apparated to Little Hangleton. The Riddle House sat on the hill above them. The sunlight was just disappearing behind it, leaving the house dark and forbidding. Severus hadn't been there. Voldemort had always called them at the graveyard the few times before Severus had openly shown his allegiances.

"Come on," one of the Aurors whispered. They drew their wands and started up the hill. There wasn't much wind, but it was cold and Severus could see his breath. As they neared the large, flat top, where the house stood in the middle, Severus felt the wards and held up his hand. The group stopped immediately, all going on the assumption that a former Death Eater knew his stuff. They looked right and left, seeing the other groups stop as well. They weren't enough to surround the entire house because the wards were in a wide circle around it. Severus felt it was hopeless, but he sent up a prayer that Harry would make all their efforts pointless, in a good way, and started working against the wards.

xxx

Something clicked, something connected, and Harry felt like his lungs had been squished for a second. Then he was everywhere at once, in all of Voldemort's memories, his thoughts. Harry was Voldemort, yet still himself _inside_ the dark wizard's mind. He could hardly tell where one ended and the other began.

_'Okay, okay, calm. Stay calm. Find the Mark.'_ Harry turned, picturing the Mark clearly in his head, and countless memories confronted him. He pushed them away, this would not help him. He focused inward and felt his magic. Yes, that was still firmly in his control. How on earth was he supposed to do this? He felt lost, in more ways than one.

"My Lord?" a fearful voice asked. Harry realised Voldemort had not discovered that he was, in a sense, whole again, and that his connection with Harry was closer than ever.

"This had better be good," a voice hissed, Voldemort's, Harry's.

"They are working on the wards."

"Ha! And why is that a problem? They will never break them."

"But- My Lord, please, there are so many of them…

_'Wards,'_ Harry thought. _'Hmmm.'_

"… and I think the Order is with them."

"WHAT?!" Harry's head almost rang with the shout. "Dumbledore?"

"N-n-no, but everyone else… it seems."

"Why didn't you tell me!? _Crucio!"_ Harry's mind filled with Wormtail's screams. They died out into whimpers after a while. "It doesn't matter," Voldemort said to himself. "They still won't break the wards… give me your arm."

xxx

It was hopeless, just like Severus had predicted. Even with every trained Auror from the Ministry and the whole Order of the Phoenix, they hardly made a dent in the wards. Perhaps if Dumbledore had been there, but Severus didn't want the man anywhere except next to Harry.

There was a rumble suddenly and the ground shook, causing many witches and wizards to stumble. Severus kept his balance and looked to the house. He couldn't be sure, but he felt it in his bones that he had heard a scream of rage coming from within…

xxx

Harry ignored Voldemort's cursing of Wormtail. The rat had apparently passed out. Harry closed his eyes and delved down into Voldemort's subconscious. _'Wards.'_ And suddenly he was there, outside the Riddle Mansion and Voldemort stood muttering to himself as he waved his wand in big arches and small swirls. Harry could see the magic forming. See the wards enclose the house and connect themselves to Voldemort. It was quite unlike anything he had ever seen before. And the best part was that Voldemort didn't notice him. Harry was indistinguishable from Voldemort.

It was almost laughable, how easy it was to locate the place inside Voldemort where the wards were holding. Harry would never be able to describe it to anyone how it was to feel his own magic and Voldemort's, while seeing it all as he was there physically. The wards were like a great, big bow, and all Harry had to do was let the black fog consume him, and reach out to tug at one of the strings. For one agonising moment everything that was Voldemort flickered to the forefront of his mind, and he felt the need to torture something till the point of insanity. He tugged hard instead and the wards toppled over like an unsteady house of cards. He drew back, gathering himself slightly so that the blackness wasn't infusing every part of him. He took a deep breath. That had been relatively easy, and he had pulled back.

"AAAAAAAARGH!" a scream of such pure wrath filled Harry's surroundings. The anger leaked through the connection and threatened to overwhelm him. Fear, which until now he had been too busy to feel, paralyzed him. In the darkness he seemed to turn, knowing something was watching him from behind. Slowly, in the black substance before him, two huge, red slits opened up, and Voldemort's eyes gazed on him. Voldemort knew he was there…

xxx

Severus' stopped breathing for half a second when the wards fall as if they never existed. Am eerie silence reigned and everybody looked to the person beside them with questioning glances. Then the moment was gone, because someone had stepped forward across the now-gone barrier. A strange sound, like a groan, came from the earth and Severus braced himself, his blood running cold.

"Inferi!" he shouted and many Aurors looked shocked and panicked. These were creatures even old Aurors or explorers of deep, long-forgotten places could go their whole lives without seeing. They weren't that common, but they had been used in the last war by Voldemort. The young Aurors, however, had not seen such things. "Use fire!" Severus barked as he advanced, blasting at a hand that had started to dig itself out. All around the grounds hands and heads emerged. Screams of terror rang out as witches and wizards were grabbed around their legs. Soon nearly all the grass was scorched, and the walking dead were still coming.

Severus had to keep turning so he wouldn't be caught from behind. He lost count on how many he fried. He contemplated using a more powerful fire curse, even though it would put their side at risk, when the number of Inferi seemed finally to dwindle. The Light was closing in on the house now and most of them managed to re-group quickly. All Severus could think of was: _'Where are the Death Eaters?'_

Not a second after the thought had passed through his mind did the apparition cracks start. Hooded figures with masks appeared all around the house. Every single Death Eater who answered their Master's call stood with a ready wand. Severus' only consolation, if it could be called that, was that most of the Death Eaters were probably not under Imperius. These all seemed to him fully grown and in full control of their senses. On the other hand: it meant a bloodier battle.

Severus didn't waste time. He pointed his wand at the nearest Death Eater and shouted a stabbing curse. It hit the Death Eater straight in the gut and he or she doubled over, red blood pouring out of the mouth of the white mask. By the time the Death Eater had hit the ground all hell had broken loose.

xxx

If Harry had ever been more scared in his life, he couldn't remember it. Those eyes were just _looking_ at him, and he felt tiny, like an insect waiting to be swatted.

_"Potter,"_ a voice said ominously and then the blackness dissolved and Harry was standing in the graveyard where he had last seen Voldemort, though the dark fog was still everywhere. Voldemort was standing before him, somehow taller, broader and all around more imposing than Harry remembered. The snake-like face was twisted in a look of triumph. "_How wonderful of you to visit me," _he hissed and Harry realised it was parseltongue. "_May I ask how you came to be inside my mind?"_ Harry didn't like the feigned politeness, it didn't suit his Gryffindorness at all, but he somehow found it in him to answer, simply because he couldn't let Voldemort know just how _in_side his mind he was.

"I have no idea," he said, adding a defiant streak to his voice as if he was feigning courage, which wasn't far from the truth. "You obviously brought me here somehow. What did you do to me?" Voldemort's lip-less mouth smirked and he considered Harry's face. The smirk suddenly died.

"You're lying," Voldemort said, his voice flat, emotionless and in plain English. Harry would have preferred the evilness in those red eyes to the dawning realisation in them. "I can feel-" Something stabbed at Harry's scar and his hand came up to press against it. He cried out and fell to his knees. At one point Voldemort had started laughing. Not cruelly, but manically as if all his dreams had become fulfilled against all probability. Harry's scar was still burning, but he tried to think, frantically, as Voldemort continued to laugh. But even as he tried to remember the spell to get himself out and say it, or even think it, Voldemort interrupted him, his voice echoing inside Harry's now empty mind. _'Now, now, Harry, leaving so soon? You've only just arrived…'_

The blackness enfolded him and he tumbled through it. It lasted only for a moment and then he was at the Ministry, or more specifically; in the room with the veil. Death Eaters and Order members were fighting. Harry looked around and saw himself. In the second it had taken him to realise what moment in time it was he had turned his eyes to Bellatrix. She shouted her curse and Ron fell through the veil again. Harry watched as he once again tried to go after her and was hit with the powerful blasting curse.

_"But no? No screams of mourning for your dear dead friend? What's this?… You have some interesting memories of this friend of yours…" _Harry tried to turn because the voice had come from behind him, but all he was saw the Gryffindor common room and his three friends beating the crap out of him.

"No," he said and looked away. Somehow this was much worse. He had been trying so hard not to remember, to only think of the good times with Ron. Ron was his best friend, his very first friend. The filthy words spilled from the redheads mouth as he kicked Harry's stomach, face twisted in disgust. Even with his eyes closed Harry could see it. He pressed his fingers to his eyes, almost trying to gouge them out. Voldemort's soft laugh drifted through the room like the sick, black fog, making Harry want to throw up. Ron didn't do such things. No, no, he didn't, Ron loved him like a brother-

"_Love you? Harry Potter, the sad, lonely little boy who likes other boys? Not even your best friends, a blood traitor, could love you, you freak_." Voldemort laughed again, his voice full of mirth and delight at Harry's pain. The blackness swirled and the Dursley's kitchen appeared and Petunia was yelling at a four-year-old Harry to get the chicken out of the oven. Harry, in his haste and total terror, tried to reach for the dinner with bare hands. Petunia shrieked, her dinner a mess on the floor and she grabbed a screaming Harry by the collar of his too big t-shirt.

"You disgusting boy!" Harry, the real one, whimpered as Petunia shrieked again for Vernon to come and discipline the boy upstairs.

"Stop," he gasped, _'Not upstairs',_ and the scene dissolved.

"_WHAT IS THIS?!"_ An older Harry was lying back on the bed, his naked flesh flushed in pleasure as Severus took him slowly but surely. They were staring at each other as if amazed that they were both there. Harry's mouth was open, panting and moaning with each slow, delicious thrust. _"Not so alone after all?... Hmmmm, let's see…"_ The black fog seemed to grow denser as Harry watched and slowly the scene changed, but in subtle, at first almost unnoticeable, ways. Severus started moving a little harder, a little faster. The face of the memory-Harry grew a little tense. Soon he was whimpering, asking Severus to stop. But the man just kept on, and he pinned Harry to the bed while he leaned in and whispered in his ear: _"Is this was you want, freak?"_

"STOP!" This could not go on. Harry was curled up in a ball, trying to force the images away. Voldemort would not corrupt his happy memories as well! Severus was his, and only his. He tried to pull away like before, but he couldn't, the connection was too strong, Harry couldn't even find it. That was when he opened his eyes and realised something: he and Voldemort were connected seamlessly. Voldemort was controlling Harry's mind… just like Harry had removed the wards. Why was he just sitting here and letting Voldemort mind-fuck him? Gathering what was left of his strength and courage Harry pushed forward instead of pulling back. He delved into Voldemort's memories, glancing at some and discarding them, while pausing at others to consider. He found one that looked perfect and then jumped into it.

A young Tom Riddle was speaking to his very first band of Death Eaters. He looked confident and handsome. Harry glanced around and saw Voldemort in his current form. He looked angry and confused as to why he was there. Harry felt him try and take control, but Harry summoned up his magic. He paused. What would work? In the end he simply muttered the strongest sticking charm he knew at Voldemort's feet and hoped for the best. He concentrated on the memory. He whispered Imperius on the Death Eaters and they all started to laugh. Voldemort grew flustered from where he stood in the corner. Harry had one of the Death Eaters come forward and take Tom Riddle by the ear, throwing him down in the dirt.

"He's just a orphaned, pathetic half-blood!" the man roared and they all laughed harder. Harry left Voldemort there, cursing and twisting on the spot, trying to get loose, but not understanding what was holding him there. Harry slipped away quickly, hoping his little scene had gained him a few seconds. _'Mark, Mark, Mark,'_ he thought desperately. Death Eaters meetings flashed randomly through his mind, Voldemort's mind! He scanned them like pictured in a book. There! All the Death Eaters, the first ones, had gotten their Mark. Voldemort stood informing them proudly of what the skull and snake stood for. But it still wasn't the right memory, even if Harry could see how the magic connected-

"_You little bastard!"_ A voice hissed behind his ear and he was plunged into darkness once more. _"I'm going to kill you."_

xxx

Severus had a deep gash in his left arm, a purple and red bruise on his forehead and several smaller cuts just about everywhere. He had also been hit with a number of curses, one of which he still hadn't managed to counter-act, and he was therefore wheezing and barely had the use of one lung.

"Fuck!" It was almost a growl and Severus knew Black wasn't far behind him. The glamours had fallen ages ago and the man was pretty banged up himself. He sent a shocking hex right at the Death Eaters Severus had been duelling and caught the wizard in the chest. The man clutched at his heart as it was shocked and his eyes rolled back into his skull. Severus panted as he fell to his knees. "You alright? You're not dying on me, are you?" Black asked stupidly.

"Just keep them off… for a second," Severus wheezed, fumbling to point his wand at his chest to relieve the pressure on his other lung. Black, in a moment of clarity no doubt, seemed to guess which curse was affecting Severus. He muttered a charm and air whooshed into Severus, nearly choking him. "You could've _warned_ me!" he snapped. Black shrugged and then jumped straight back into the battle.

As Severus had to suddenly twist around to disarm and immobilise the Death Eater coming from behind he managed to get a good survey of the battlefield. It did seem to him that their side was winning, but not by much. Severus was very close to the house itself at the moment, and since he had yet to get up no one seemed to notice him. He had been wondering why Voldemort wasn't showing up. After a moment's hesitation, he picked himself up and ran for the door.

xxx

"Tonks!" Hermione yelled as the Auror in question sent a stunner at a Death Eater. She was one second too late as a blasting curse hit Tonks in the side, throwing her into the air and propelling her several feet away, right at the feet of the few Inferi that were left and moving from one corpse to another, eating. They fell on her live flesh and she screamed as one bit into her. Hermione ducked and hopped, dodging curses and jumping over bodies and she pointed her wand at the creatures. But she couldn't blast them, because that would mean blasting Tonks as well.

"Stop!" A hand came round her waist, pulling her back. She struggled. "It's too late," the voice said and it was, because one of the Inferi was ripping into Tonks' throat. Hermione gasped and looked away, right into Draco's eyes. "I told you to stay close to me," he said. "Come on, help me." He pointed his wand at the four Inferi still feasting on the Auror's body. Hermione raised her one wand shakily and they blasted fire at them together from a distance.

xxx

Harry screamed as pain ran through his body like liquid. Was he really supposed to feel pain inside his mind? It seemed unfair. He struggled in the darkness. It wasn't fair. This was his mind as much as Voldemort's. He could simply remake the rules.

"Confringo," he said clearly. And somehow Voldemort was blasted away, because he didn't know the rules had been changed yet. Harry summoned his magic and thought: _'Magic over mind.'_ He held up his hand and blasted at Voldemort again, though he couldn't actually see him. He then closed his eyes and let himself be pulled into the blackness, into Voldemort's subconscious, and he locked Voldemort outside.

_'The Mark. Now.'_ Harry took a deep breath, feeling his confidence return slightly when he saw the scene appear again instantly, with less fog this time. _'No, later, after his return.'_ The scene shifted, Voldemort transformed into his snake-like appearance and several of the Death Eaters grew shorter or taller as the new ones appeared and old ones had long since died. Harry could see the connection between them, or rather between them and Voldemort. It all looked as if they were each on a leash and the thought sickened Harry. Then he looked closer and frowned. There was a connection between them also, one Mark was designed to summon the others, but what would it mean for the Death Eaters when the connection was severed? He couldn't allow himself to think about it.

He thought he heard a banging sound, and it was almost as if someone was banging against a door to gain entry. A force pressed against his eardrums and he realised Voldemort was trying to get inside again. Harry pushed against him, summoning up all his magic, but he wouldn't be able to stand against the man for long. There was only one thing that could stop him.

Harry walked up to Voldemort, who was speaking before his Death Eaters. The great bow was there again, binding all the lives around him. Harry reached out, a distant part of his mind screaming 'NO!', and took hold of it with both hands. He braced himself and pulled. It hurt like hell.

xxx

Severus blasted the door away and raced upstairs, surprised there hadn't been any wards on the door itself. Voldemort's flaw seemed to be his arrogance. It was almost cliché, actually. He did come across one obstruction, though, at the top of the stairs. Peter Pettigrew stood pointing his wand down at Severus. His whole body was shaking in fear and Severus almost laughed. Only he didn't because the man was a fully trained wizard, cowardice notwithstanding.

"You'll not go near my Master!" Wormtail squeaked. "Traitor!" he added. Severus did laugh then. Not just over the irony of that statement, but over the fact that Wormtail seemed unaware of it.

"Stupefy!" he stopped laughing so quickly the rat only had time to widen his eyes in surprise before he toppled over and fell down the stairs. Severus sidestepped the disgusting man and let him tumble all the way down. He summoned the wand and put him in a strong body-bind. He didn't spare him another thought.

Walking into the room at the end of the hall Severus grew tense at the silence. The fire was flickering and the high wing-backed chair looked forbidding. Slowly, wand raised, Severus circled it until he could see who was sitting in it. He could hear the person breathing heavily, but he still almost had a heart attack when he saw it was the Dark Lord himself, the eyes closed. He appeared for all intents and purposes to be asleep, and having a nightmare. Severus took a moment to get over his shock, and then raised his wand again. Two fateful words were almost on his lips when the slits opened and red eyes stared directly into his soul.

There was perhaps a moment, not half a second, of absolute silence. And then Severus heart beat once, loudly. The sound seemed to reverberate through the house and even outside to the grounds and the still fighting witches and wizards. When the sound seemed to echo back to him it came with a stabbing pain unlike anything Severus had ever felt before. He clutched as his heart, his wand falling to the floor. His heart was beating frantically, and an iron fist was clenched around it. Severus didn't even hear the Dark Lord screaming in agony.

He must have fallen to his knees at one point, and he was leaning on one arm. It was then he noticed, even through his pain, that were was an invisible thread going from his heart to the Mark on his arm, and from there it felt like he was being pulled towards Voldemort. He wanted to take hold of it and pull, but someone else did it, from the other end, and the cord broke. Voldemort's scream reached knew heights, and Severus saw, even as he fell sideways, that parts of the Dark Lord's body seemed to be falling away, as if he was made of wet sand and the tide was slowly coming up. He was still screaming by the time his face was half gone and Severus' world went black.

-:-

I want to apologise from the bottom of my heart, because I know this is just a horrible, horrible ending. I had to cut it somewhere and this chapter is already the longest yet, I think. Please forgive me. You can insult me as much as you want in your reviews, and I will agree to every single thing you can come up with. Get creative, why don't you!

Next chapter will be up by the weekend. I hope…


	34. Chapter 34

Wow. Over 800 reviews. That is just amazing and beyond anything I could have expected.

I had planned to get this up yesterday, but I'm getting ready to go to Japan to visit my parents with my sister. We'll be spending a month in Tokyo. Don't worry, they have Internet, so I'll still be posting!

We are nearing the end. I'm feeling kinda sad.

-:-

"Protego!" Hermione shouted and a silver-white shield wound around her. She automatically braced herself, but the anticipated curse never hit her. Confused and unable to see what had happened to the Death Eater she had been duelling, she flicked her wand and she spell fell away. The ground was scattered with bodies and a disturbing few Aurors and Order members were left standing, but the strangest thing was the remaining Death Eaters. They were groaning, some of them screaming, as they clutched at their chests. Most of them were on their knees. Hermione looked around her and spotted Draco. He was on his knees too, desperately holding on to his father whose face was twisted in pain.

"What's happened to them?" someone asked. The Light side had stopped dead and everybody looked confused. The Death Eaters' screams of pain escalated and many toppled over, wreathing as if under Cruciatus. Hermione was at a complete loss of what to do. Their agony seemed to reach a crescendo and then a pulse of light seemed to come from an upstairs window of the house. As it passed over them the last few Death Eaters went limp. Lucius fell forward into Draco's arms, but Hermione saw with relief that he was breathing. The Death Eaters she had been duelling, however, was completely still. She crouched and checked his pulse. Nothing. As her brain caught up with that had most likely happened she tightened her hold on her wand and ran for the door of the house.

She passed Peter Pettigrew at the bottom of the stairs. He was dead, but she made a mental note to bring his body to the Ministry. She hurried upstairs, not liking the feel of the old house at all, and followed the light from the fireplace. She gasped when she saw Severus lying motionless of the floor. She didn't even look at the chair as she knelt beside him and checked his pulse. She sighed. It was steady and strong. She slowly and carefully pushed him over so he lay on his back. Muttering a spell she was relieved again when it worked instantly and Severus gasped as he came to.

"Easy," she said when he automatically struggled and grasped for his wand. "It's Hermione Granger." He blinked up at her and then looked around the room. His eyes became fixed on the chair behind her so Hermione turned. There was nothing but a black cloak spread out in it. "Is that-? Is he…"

"He's gone," Severus rasped. "I felt it." The former Death Eater suddenly sat up and pushed up his sleeve. Hermione's eyebrows rose when she beheld the smooth, unmarked and very pale skin. They both looked up when they heard hurried steps on the stairs and Draco appeared in the doorway.

"It's gone," he said. "Father's Mark. Nearly all the Death Eaters are dead."

xxx

Dumbledore felt the magic shifting. Harry was struggling, had been struggling for quite some time, but had not yet pulled out. Dumbledore uncharacteristically cursed, though inwardly. Was this Harry not following his orders, or was the young man stuck inside Voldemort's mind?

Then things became worse and worse. Harry was sweating now so Dumbledore put on a cooling charm instead. Pomfrey said his heart rate was rising, but there was nothing they could do. When Harry began trashing Dumbledore held him down instead of putting a body-bind on him. Suddenly he stilled and Dumbledore's heart seemed to still with him. The moment stretched out for an eternity and Pomfrey suddenly gasped and said Harry's heart had stopped completely, but the old Headmaster hardly heard her.

Then all the magic in the room came back in a whoosh. A force so strong that Dumbledore was nearly pushed physically backwards. He managed to say beside Harry, though, and the young man gasped loudly and his green eyes snapped open.

"Harry?" Dumbledore said, holding Harry by the shoulders. "Take a deep breath, calm down. You're at Malfoy Manor. Can you tell me whom you asked me to give your wand to?" he had to ask, just in case. Who knew what had happened when the two had joined? A question of the most recent of events would no doubt be safest, as Voldemort probably wouldn't have considered invading those memories.

"What?" Harry asked, blinking rapidly as his breathing slowed. "Severus. Where is he? Is he alive?" His breathing sped up again.

"You must calm down, Harry," Dumbledore said. Pomfrey made an impatient noise and Dumbledore stood back and allowed the healer to check Harry.

"A Dreamless Sleep. You need to be moved to the infirmary, Potter. Your heart stopped a moment and I want you under observation. Drink this, it will knock you out. You need to calm down." But Harry wasn't calming down. His eyes kept glancing frantically around the room as if waiting for demons to jump out. Pomfrey sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched violently and tried to sit up and scoot away from her.

"Harry," Dumbledore said.

"There's no fog," Harry muttered, scanning the floor and walls. "A trick… Show me Severus! Let me see out." His hands had come up and he was clawing at the air in front of him. He didn't appear to see either of them at all anymore. Pomfrey stood abruptly and pointed her wand. Harry slumped down on the couch.

"I hope the stunner wasn't too much for him," Pomfrey said worriedly. "Help me levitate him to the fireplace." They did it together and Dumbledore got some floo-powder for the witch.

"If he was successful there will be casualties coming in soon," he warned her. She nodded and was off with her patient in a burst of green flames. Dumbledore closed his eyes for a brief moment, then hurried out the door so he could apparate to Little Hangleton.

xxx

Harry floated in memories. Sometimes they would come closer and he would cringe or cry out, for they would all be tainted or defiled almost beyond recognition. Lovely memories with Severus: working on a potion together, duelling and seeing the intense eyes of his lover focused solely on him, or even their lovemaking. All of it was twisted and filled with the dark mist.

"No, no," Harry muttered. _'I'll control it,'_ he thought. But every time he tried to force the memories to obey him the darkness would swallow him up, and something else would appear. He couldn't pull away either, he couldn't feel Voldemort. It was driving him insane! Why couldn't he do anything!?

_"_Harry," a voice whispered. Severus was standing under the cloak with him. The high rows of prophecies were surrounding them. Lucius' steps echoed around the room. "Where are you Severus?" he asked jovially. "Right here," Severus called. "I've brought the brat!"

"_Harry._" Severus was laughing at him. A cruel laugh filled with scorn.

"Harry!"

With a jolt Harry was finally ripped from the dream. He gasped and sat up. Hands grabbed his shoulders to steady him. Blinking rapidly he managed to take in the Hospital Wing. A shiver went through him as he tried to push away the dream completely.

"Here, drink this," someone said as they pushed a vial of potion into his hand. A Calming Drought Harry noted as it went down. He closed his eyes and let it take effect. When he opened them Draco was looking at him worriedly.

"I'm okay," Harry said. Draco snorted and took back the vial.

"Of course you are. You were just having a dream right after you battled the Dark Lord using your _mind_. I'm sure it was all about you winning the Order of Merlin."

"Where's Severus?" Harry scanned the Hospital Wing. It was quiet. Not many beds were filled. Harry saw Prof. McGonagall sleeping in one. He couldn't really see her face, but what he did see was very pale. Harry did not like the atmosphere.

"Lay back," Draco ordered and pushed Harry down. "Severus is fine. He's right there, see?" Draco pointed next to Harry and sure enough; Severus lay sleeping peacefully. "He caught a fair few curses, but it was the severing of the Mark that tired him out. Father and Mother are both here as well."

"Are they going to…" Harry couldn't finish the sentence. He just stared at his lover's face. It looked peaceful. He didn't look paler than usual.

"They're all going to be fine, though they are the lucky ones." Harry's eyes grew wide and he stared at Draco, who hastened to explain. "Sirius, Remus and Hermione are all fine… but there were a lot of casualties and a lot of the Death Eaters were pulled after… Voldemort." Harry took a deep breath, nodding. Draco looked completely worn out, he suddenly noticed.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Draco smiled a little.

"I guess I'm on watch duty. I sent Hermione off to bed. Everybody else is either here, St. Mungo's, dead or busy with the clean up. Pomfrey's here, but she's taking a nap too. I just… wanted to be here if any of you woke up... Remus and Sirius are hiding out at Malfoy Manor."

"Why?"

"Peter Pettigrew's body was found. Dumbledore is at the Ministry right now. It's a bit chaotic, but he wants the clearing of Sirius' name to be one of the first things the Wizengamot does." Harry was so utterly relieved for his godfather he sighed and felt a lot of tension drain out of him. Draco smiled in understanding. After a while Harry's thoughts strayed back to the injured and dead.

"So… who did die?" Draco's face grew grim and he cast a look down the row of beds. He sighed.

"A lot of young Aurors and Order members. Tonks and Moody. Shacklebolt was badly injured. He's at St. Mungo's, but I don't know if he made it. A few Weasleys were injured, but I think all of them are okay and with no permanent damage… McGonagall is barely breathing, but Pomfrey's still hoping. Flitwick and Vector died, and Mayhew the DADA teacher this year. I don't think you ever met him. Hagrid lost a hand, but he's fine… that's everybody I know of." Harry felt hollow by the end of the list. Tonks was gone, and McGonagall was barely breathing. It seemed inconceivable that such strong witches could be anything but fine.

"What about the Death Eaters?" Harry asked, wondering how the severing had affected them.

"Nearly all of them dead. Severus, Mother and Father survived, along with Bellatrix and her husband. The rest either died in the fighting or afterwards."

"Merlin," Harry said. "That's a lot of people." And all of them could have been saved if only- But that was pointless, even Harry knew that. What-ifs weren't going to help anybody, though for Harry they were a bad habit that was hard to break.

"It's all the Minister's fault Harry," Draco said earnestly. "He's the one who suddenly wanted an all-out attack. Voldemort's dead, but everybody knows that was you, and they're calling the battle a massacre. They're also calling for Fudge's resignation." Harry didn't say anything to that. He wanted to go to Severus and gazed over longingly at his lover. "I think you should take a Dreamless Sleep," Draco said.

"Help me," Harry said, ignoring the suggestion. He started to get up.

"What are you doing?" Draco sounded alarmed. Harry reached for the other bed and the blond understood. He sighed, but helped Harry over, lifting the covers for him so Harry could snuggle into Severus' side. The man didn't move, but he was probably under a potion. Harry breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the warmth from his lover's body. "Drink this." Harry obligingly drank down the potion Draco pressed to his mouth. A moment later and he was once again asleep, and not dreaming of anything, thank Merlin.

xxx

Severus woke slowly, feeling groggy. He had a headache and there was something big and lumpy pressing against his side. Sunlight was shining into the Hospital Wing, making Severus squeeze his eyes shut and yearning to turn over so he could bury his face into the pillow, but he couldn't because of whatever was in bed with him…

He opened his eyes and looked down. _'Oh,'_ he thought. Finally, his brain was catching up. Harry was moulded against Severus' side, his face at Severus' shoulder. He looked peaceful, and Severus felt a wave of gratitude and relief that they were both alive and well. Voldemort was gone… all gone. It was almost too good to even dare to believe.

"Awake, I see," Madam Pomfrey said as she bustled over and started checking her patients over. She tsk'ed at Harry's sleeping form, but didn't otherwise make the young man move.

"How are Lucius and Narcissa? And Minerva?" Severus asked as he tilted his head to look past the healer. He felt a lump in his throat when McGonagall's bed turned out to be empty.

"Minerva's been moved to St. Mungo's," Pomfrey said gravely. "Lucius and Narcissa have gone home to rest." Severus frowned. Pomfrey finished with her scans. "You are both completely fine, physically."

"What do you mean, physically?" Severus asked. Pomfrey frowned and looked at Harry.

"I'm worried about him," she said. "Hopefully it was just the shock of what happened. The Dreamless Sleep has probably done him good, but…" she trailed off. Severus looked down worriedly at Harry. The young man seemed perfectly fine. His face was smooth with untroubled sleep. Suddenly he started to stir and mumbled something into Severus' shoulder. Pomfrey beat a hasty retreat.

"Harry," Severus murmured, leaning down and kissing his love on the forehead. "Wake up." Slowly the green eyes opened and blinked up at him. A second passed, and then two. Harry sat up, knocking Severus' arms away. He looked around the Hospital Wing. "Harry?" Severus asked, afraid to touch him, but wanting to so desperately he laid a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"No fog," Harry sighed. He looked at Severus, then at his hand. "You're real?" he said, turning it into a question.

"Yes, of course," Severus said softly, wondering what on earth Harry had gone through. Harry took a deep breath. "You did it, Harry. Voldemort is gone. He can't hurt you." Slowly a small, relieved smile spread across Harry's face. He looked tired again.

"We're okay," he said, his eyes gliding over the mostly empty beds. He frowned. "Where's McGonagall?"

"Pomfrey felt they could treat her better at St. Mungo's." Harry's face seemed to stiffen and he sat a long time simply staring at the empty bed, his expression unmovable. "She'll pull through," Severus murmured, though he wasn't sure if his lover heard him at all. "Harry?" Finally the young man turned and blinked.

"I'm fine…" At Severus' dubious expression Harry sighed. "I'll be fine, eventually, I guess… so many dead."

"They gave their lives for what they believed in." Harry snorted loudly at that and Severus grew confused. It was very un-Harry-like.

"Died for the Minister's insanity, you mean. I could've- There didn't even need to be a battle. It was all done in the bastard's mind. They didn't need-"

"We cannot think like that," Severus insisted gently. "Who knows how Voldemort would have fought against you if there had not been a battle going on?"

"He seemed pretty focused on me, regardless of the fighting," Harry countered, not looking at Severus, who sighed.

"If you do not let this go if will eat at you. I have spoken of this to you before."

"I know… I'm sorry."

"No apologies necessary…" Severus took a deep breath. He knew Harry, knew him better than perhaps even himself. And maybe he could guess at what the young man needed right now. "I love you," he said. It wasn't something they said to each other often, hardly at all in fact, as it was so well known to both of them. Harry's eyes snapped to Severus' in surprise. A smile, this time sincere and full, lit up Harry's face. Severus was very proud to have put it there.

"I love you too," Harry said, leaning in. Severus cupped Harry's face, feeling his own smile tug at the corners of his mouth when he felt the stubble on Harry's face. He used his thumb to smooth over it, liking the feeling very much. He hoped he would be able to wake with Harry and feel it again more often now.

Harry seemed to know what Severus found amusing, and effectively wiped his smile away by forcing his tongue into Severus' mouth. They kissed, though the angle was rather awkward and Harry started shifting around to make it better. He put a hand on Severus' chest to steady himself, not breaking the kiss.

"I see you are both awake," a far too pleased voice said. They pulled apart abruptly, both flushing when they saw the Headmaster twinkling at them as he came into the Hospital Wing. "I have good news, which is always extra good after nights such as yesterday's." Some of his twinkle dimmed at the thought. He conjured a chair and sat himself down by Severus' bed. Harry looked at Dumbledore, then at Severus before coming to a decision. He lay down and rested his head on Severus' stomach, pushing the man down so he rested half propped up on the pillows. Severus grumbled a little, but settled back eventually with a resigned look at the Headmaster.

"Good news would be very good," Harry said.

"Minerva is going to be making a full recovery, though she tells me she will be going into early retirement, and I think that's for the best. She will help find a substitute for the rest of the year. And also: Sirius is being cleared of all charges as we speak."

"Really?" Harry asked, his delight apparent.

"Yes, really," Dumbledore smiled. "He will be given a considerable sum in compensation… but I have even more good news." Harry raised his head and looked very curious. Dumbledore was practically beaming. "Harry, the Ministry wants to give you an Order of Merlin, even though they aren't quite sure how you managed what you did. The thing is, however, is that the Order of Merlin can only be given to witches and wizards. So, they want to allow you to take your NEWTs and will even pay for a tutor to help you get ready, though I explained that wouldn't be necessary." Harry's mouth opened in a silent 'oh'. He hadn't really thought about not being a wizard in a while, in well over a year, probably. He had been using a wand and training so he had forgotten how upset he had been after the expulsion. But if he took his NEWTs he would be officially a wizard… that was pretty big, right?

"They had better make it first class," Severus grumbled. Harry looked at him and couldn't help a startled laugh escape him.

"I'll be a proper wizard again," he said, sounding awed.

"You were always a proper wizard, Harry," Severus said. "They just didn't see it." His smile turned affectionate and he leaned in, forgetting Dumbledore altogether. Severus allowed him a brief kiss and then turned his head towards the Headmaster. "What of Fudge?"

"He's resigning, I believe," Dumbledore said.

"Even more good news," Severus commented. "Any word on who's thinking of replacing him?"

"Madam Bones has the full support of the remaining Aurors and virtually all the Heads and most of the Wizengamot."

"And how is the press and public taking it all?"

"The _Prophet_ can't publish the information fast enough and two extra issues are coming out detailing the battle and Harry's role. The rest of wizarding Britain is only just beginning to realise they have cause for celebration. I will be making an announcement to the students that they can leave early for Christmas break soon."

"Lovely," Severus muttered sarcastically at that. "Just what the need."

"They will be required to do extra homework, Severus," Dumbledore said.

"And that's just what I need, more grading of papers." Harry just sat back and smiled at the two professors, feeling a little lighter for the first time since the battle. The people they had lost still hurt him, and sometimes he had to turn sharply because he was sure he saw something dark and fog-like out of the corner of his eye, but overall he felt himself healing already just by being in Severus' presence.

"Well, I shall leave you two," Dumbledore declared. "There is still much to be done, but you two rest and eat. I'll send Sirius and Remus along to see you soon." He ignored Severus' protests that their conversation wasn't finished and patted Harry on the shoulder. When he was done Severus sighed. Harry noticed he looked tired.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I am fine." But Harry could tell. He knew Severus.

"We were all very lucky," Harry said, truly realising that for the first time. So many more could have been lost. The Death Eaters could have won the battle. Voldemort could have- But it was best not to think about those kind what-ifs either. "I'm hungry," he said instead.

"Yes," Severus agreed. "Me too."

xxx

Harry and Severus ate in bed together, but when Sirius came to visit, walking in human form and with Remus in tow, Harry retreated to his own bed. Sirius was obviously happy about the official apology he would be getting, with a full page in the _Prophet_, but he was subdued. They talked about Tonks a lot, and Moody. Harry felt better when they talked about them, actually. It felt right to remember the dead, even if they were just talking quietly without any ceremony. That would come soon enough, he supposed.

Later Harry was allowed to leave with Severus and they went down to the dungeons together. Harry decided he really didn't like the long empty halls of Hogwarts anymore. The shadows kept surprising him. At one point he had to turn around. He was so sure he had seen a bit of fog.

"Harry?" Severus asked, his voice full of concern. Harry shook himself. He was being paranoid. Voldemort was dead. It was silly to keep letting himself get spooked. They made their way down in silence. Once inside the bedroom, however, Harry felt as if the walls had moved. Had the place always been this small? Why was it so dark? Severus' room were always lighted properly. Harry startled when hands snaked around his waist.

"What's the matter?" Severus voice asked in his ear.

"Nothing. M'just tired," Harry said.

"Then we will sleep," Severus said. Harry stepped away and started stripping. He crawled under the covers and lay down, listening to Severus in the bathroom. Harry's eyes followed Severus when he came back. He shivered when the man lifted the covers to get under. Severus pulled Harry into his arms and pressed a kiss to Harry's temple. "Do you want a potion?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine." Harry closed his eyes, not wanting to think about what the darkness reminded him of. He forced his breathing to steady, but even as he felt Severus relax completely with sleep he couldn't keep his eyes closed. But having them open was almost worse. The shadows haunted him, teased him with their reminders. He didn't want to feel the weightlessness of sleep. He didn't want to dream either, so he just lay there, unable to choose between the shadows in the room or the darkness behind his eyelids.

-:-

Ah! The aftermath is always a bitch to write…. I almost nearly skipped it, but I felt Harry's mental state shouldn't be ignored. I sure as hell wouldn't be fine after an ordeal like that.

I'm not going to drag this out, of course. I'm thinking just one more chapter, two at most, and maybe an epilogue. Stories can't go on forever, I'm afraid.

Last note: I couldn't kill them! I wanted to make it a really bloody battle with lots of dead, but I couldn't kill all of them. Harry's connection with the Weasleys has faded since Ron's death, but I still couldn't off any of them. But I'm guessing none of you are too upset about this fact?


	35. Chapter 35

Thanks to everybody who reviewed. I'm glad people seemed pleased with the chapter and my handling of Harry's mental state.

-:-

The next morning school was cancelled and people generally celebrated, though some people had to actually work, like healers at St. Mungo's still working on the injured and Aurors and personnel at the Ministry. Bellatrix and Rudolphus were sent back to Azkaban pretty quickly and many announcements followed, including Amelia Bones' plan to run for Minister.

Lucius Malfoy, surprisingly enough, invited everyone to Malfoy Manor for a private celebration. The odd group came together one last time: Malfoys, Weasleys, Sirius, Remus, Severus, Harry, Dumbledore and even Hermione. After fighting and living through the greatest battle of their times, Lucius and Narcissa seemed much more natural in their dealing with their "strange" houseguests. As they toasted the people who gave their lives, Harry felt more peaceful. He sat beside Severus and mostly chatted with Sirius on his other side about all the things the man would do now that he was free.

The wizarding world was almost going crazy with the need to see their Savoir. People seemed to have forgotten that Harry had been gone since his expulsion, and now they were desperate to find out where he had been hiding, as if he had been the one to run away or something. Dumbledore was adamant that Harry wouldn't be making any public appearances until he sat his NEWTs and had a registered wand. Since Harry wouldn't be taking any exams until spring at the earliest, Harry was very grateful to Dumbledore for holding off the wolves.

As the evening wound down Sirius and Remus left as they had moved back into Grimmauld Place. Harry had a bedroom at Grimmauld Place of course, but he had taken Severus' hand just shy of casually when Sirius mentioned leaving. Sirius hadn't so much as muttered anything under his breath, and Harry thought that maybe Sirius had finally gotten used to his relationship. Or maybe it was because he had caught Remus' eye, Harry wasn't sure. Either way he was staying with Severus. The Weasleys left as one group a while later.

Since the sun had gone down and the shadows had emerged Harry had been getting restless. He kept flinching and twisting in his chair to check something he had seen out of the corner of his eye. He hardly noticed he was doing it, but Severus had been taking notes all evening. He leaned over and spoke softly in Harry's ear.

"Shall we retire?" he asked. Harry turned and gazed into Severus' eyes for a few seconds longer than was normal.

"Yeah," Harry said, nodding almost to himself as if he had come to a much more important decision. "I'm tired." Severus gently took Harry by the arm and thanked Lucius for the wonderful dinner. It had been a peculiar, but fun evening, even Severus could admit that. They left Dumbledore behind, who promised to take the last two students back with him in a moment. The twinkle in his eyes was decidedly sluggish, so perhaps it would be the students who took him home…

Once they returned to the Headmaster's office Severus still held Harry's arm as they walked down to the dungeons. Harry's twitching grew steadily worse as the hallways grew darker.

"Did you see that?" Harry asked suddenly, turning and forcing his arm free of Severus' grip sharply. He stared down an empty corridor.

"I can't see anything," Severus said, trying to keep his voice under control as his concern grew. In the flickering torchlight the shadows under Harry's eyes were darker. Harry turned back startled when Severus spoke.

"What did you say?" he demanded, the confusion and fear in his eyes making Severus frown.

"There is nothing there, Harry," he said as calmly as he could. Harry blinked and shook his head as if to clear it.

"Sorry…" he mumbled, lifting a hand to his head. "I'm tired." When Severus gently took Harry's arm again he was relieved that Harry only sighed and let himself be led. Nothing more was said as they made their way to Severus' rooms.

Inside Harry went to the bathroom. He had used the day to bring the things he had at Malfoy Manor to Hogwarts. Severus hoped he would be staying while he studied for his exams, though afterwards he might want to live at Grimmauld Place as it was closer to the Ministry. Severus knew Harry had wanted to be an Auror, though without the Scios, which had disappeared with Voldemort, he did not know if that was still the case. Maybe he would resign from his teaching, though he would wait a year or so. He didn't want Dumbledore to lose yet another staff member so suddenly.

His musings on the future were interrupted when Harry came back to the bedroom. He was wearing only pyjama bottoms, riding low on his hips and Severus' mouth watered. Harry was all lean muscle nowadays. A fully-grown, gorgeous man and Severus had him. It wasn't fair, some would say Severus didn't deserve it, but if Severus was still damned for past mistakes, he was going to enjoy his time before judgement very, very much. Since he had already taken off his robes he unbuttoned his shirt slowly, moving towards Harry who was looking at him. His expression was almost carefully neutral, but Severus could see them darken with lust as he moved forward, and revelled in it.

When they stood close enough to touch, Harry suddenly smiled impishly and darted out of reach, going over to the bed and pulling back the covers. Severus watched with a mock-offended expression as Harry lay down. He sprawled across the bed and gave Severus a rather good 'come-hither'-look. Severus shrugged off his shirt and removed his shoes and trousers before following the look's suggestion.

"Are you certain you are up for it?" he asked with a raised eyebrow as he stood by the bed. "I thought you were tired." Harry lazily reached out and tugged at Severus' boxers.

"I'm cold," he said with a slight pout. "Come warm me." Severus suppressed his snort and dived down instead, covering Harry's firm body with his own. He kissed Harry's mouth, quickly moving down his lover's chest as he pushed the offending pyjama bottoms down. A whimper reached his ears, but something was off about it, though that fact didn't really register with Severus. As his hand closed around Harry's half-hard member he looked up to his lover's face and stilled. Harry's whole face was twisted as if in pain and he was closing and opening his eyes ever now and then, as if unable to decide what to do.

"Harry?" At his name the young wizard jerked and looked around. He found Severus' gaze.

"What did you call me?" Severus let go of Harry's cock, pulling the bottoms up, and scooted up so he was closer to Harry's face.

"Harry," he said carefully. Harry let out a whoosh of air, but he didn't look relieved. In fact he was starting to look very troubled. When Severus placed his hand on Harry's chest, his fingers were instantly entwined with those of his lover.

"There's something wrong," Harry said, his green eyes wide and staring. "I can't- there's still fog. I can see it, I know I can, but it keeps disappearing. He's still- But I know he's not! I know, I'm not crazy." Harry was babbling and Severus hardly understood a word, but he got the gist of it.

"Hush," he said gently. "It is alright. Of course you are not crazy." But Harry's eyes filled with tears and his breath hitched before he managed to speak.

"Oh, god, Severus, I think I am. Voldemort's fucked up my mind." And with that Harry's tears fell and he sobbed, turning his head and pressed it against Severus' shoulder to hide his face. Severus suspected that the sobs were for more than just his mental state. Harry was a sensitive person, always feeling guilt and remorse. Severus thought Harry needed to cry a lot more than he did, and so he tried to feel relieved that Harry was doing so now. He held his lover as the sobbing continued, trying to stay calm as he assessed the situation. Mental health wasn't as easy to fix with magic, but if the problem was caused by magic, then it would definitely make things easier. Soon Harry's sobs died down and Severus thought it safe to speak again.

"I'm going to get you some Dreamless Sleep. Tomorrow we will go and see Madam Pomfrey. I am sure she can recommend someone at St. Mungo's who can help you."

"I'm sorry, Severus. I don't think anyone can help me. I don't want to go to St. Mungo's… Even the memories of us are ruined. Let me-" Harry moved and Severus guessed his intent.

"Don't be stupid," he chided gently. "And don't apologies. I will be with you at all times and if nothing can be done except to let time heal you then we will make new memories." Harry stilled and breathed a little easier. His hands came round and clutched at Severus.

"Thank you, Severus."

"It is nothing."

"No," Harry protested gently and Severus was sure he felt a smile against his neck. "It's just you being you."

xxx (AN: Everything that happens with the healer is just me having fun and making stuff up. I don't know anything about healing mental problems at all... though maybe I should considering my own mental state. Lol)

Harry wanted to take hold of Severus' robe, but thought that to be a little too childish. He instead held on tight to the invisibility cloak as he followed his lover down a corridor in St. Mungo's. Pomfrey and Dumbledore, once briefed on the situation, had recommended the finest mental healer in Britain (and according to some the world) and made a discreet appointment. Since the hospital was still being watched by reporters desperate for any tales from the survivors, Harry had opted to travel under his cloak. Severus had told him he didn't have a choice in the matter either way. Harry decided he liked it when his lover was protective, and especially when Harry could submit to that protectiveness and simply let someone else take care of him.

Harry had not told his friends about his appointment. He didn't want anybody to know. He just wanted the fog to go away and let him get on with his life with Severus. Get his NEWTs, get a proper legal wand, and maybe a nice little place not far from Godric's Hollow as he worked with whatever he decided he was going to do. Auror was obviously not an option, as Harry didn't want to have to cast an offensive spell again unless absolutely necessary.

Finally they stopped outside of a door labelled _'Gunhilda von Paracelsus – Magical Healer of the Mind'_. Severus opened the door, surreptitiously holding it open a little longer so Harry could enter, and they found themselves in a waiting room decorated in calming colours. Harry was just glad that it was well lit and with no shadows. A secretary was seated at a smallish desk next to the only other door in the room. She looked up and smiled, slightly forced. Severus didn't let her open her mouth before he told her he had an appointment and didn't liked to be kept waiting. She huffed but got up and checked inside the office.

"She'll see you," the witch said and sat down, taking out her wand to do her nails. Again Harry was allowed to slip past Severus and sighed in relief when the door closed. The office was not what Harry expected. It was very… odd. To one side was a bookshelf that covered the wall from floor to ceiling, which actually was to be expected. An old mahogany desk sat across from the door with piles of papers and books on it, along with a few picture frames with people waving happily from them. In between the door and desk, however, things started to get strange.

On the floor was a large completely circular carpet, woven into patterns that resembled a labyrinth. On it sat two chairs facing each other, both bright yellow. They looked comfortable and one was designed so you could lean back and relax. What was very odd was the patch of green grass on the floor right in front of that chair. There were two tables on either side of the other chair, with instruments that made Dumbledore's office look completely ordinary. The ceiling was a lot like the ceiling in the Great Hall at Hogwarts, except it seemed to be constantly showing a blue shy with a few white clouds. Harry was pretty sure it was a grey day outside. Also, somewhere a group of different birds were singing, though Harry could not see any cage.

Behind the desk sat a thin woman scribbling away while glancing at an open book now and then. She wore light-blue robes with yellow suns on it. Her black hair was very long and wound its way down her back and round up on the desk in a thick braid. She looked up when Severus shut the door behind him and smiled kindly, her face losing its intense focus.

"Good morning," she said as she rose and came round the desk, extending her hand. "You are my eleven o'clock, yes? I'm afraid I didn't get a name." Severus didn't shake her hand, but answered her at least. Harry was pretty sure his lover didn't like strangers much.

"The appointment is not for me," he said, though Harry was glad he didn't sound indignant at her presumption. He didn't want to think Severus thought him weak for needing help. "Harry?" he looked to his left, though Harry appeared to his right a moment later.

"Good Merlin!" the healer explained, startled. "That is one effective cloak, young man," she said, smiling and clearly impressed when she got over the shock. Harry shrugged and allowed Severus to take the cloak from his and fold it away.

"Eh, thanks," he said awkwardly. "I'm Harry." He shook her hand.

"Very well, Harry," she said, not asking for a last name. "Would you like to sit down?" she turned to Severus. "If you could just wait out-"

"No, please," Harry interrupted. "Could he stay?" She looked between them and seemed to consider.

"Are you related?" she asked.

"No, we're… together," Harry said, glancing at Severus to make sure it was okay to tell her. The man's expression was neutral so Harry knew that meant he didn't mind.

"Hmmm, very well. Conjure yourself a chair and sit outside the circle. Harry, why don't you take off your shoes and socks and get comfortable." Harry did as suggested and found the patch of grass warm between his toes. It was comforting and Harry felt magic wafting up towards him in relaxing, almost lazy waves. He decided to feel more of the magic in the room. He hadn't tried feeling his own magic since Voldemort's demise and had automatically locked away that particular gift, which he seemed to have discovered in what felt to Harry like a very short amount of time. He stretched out now his magic and noticed Severus was a strong presence as usual. The witch was too and all the instruments vibrated with it, though not noticeably to anyone just looking at them. She smiled as if she knew what he was doing, then slowly took out her wand and waved it. A strange silence settled over them, apart from the bird song. It was odd because the room had already been silent, but now it was somehow even more so, as if a barrier had been erected and even the smallest sounds seeping in from the corridor were stopped.

"Your partner can still hear us, are you sure you are comfortable with that?" she asked. Harry nodded. "Very well…" she paused as if she wasn't sure how to begin, and since Harry had no idea he simply stared back. "I do realise who you are Harry, and I am wondering if this visit has something to do with your recent victory over He Who Must Not Be Named?" Harry swallowed and took a deep breath. He nodded. "I can only imagine how traumatic such an experience would be. Perhaps we should start there? You can lean back if you want." Harry slowly did what the healer suggested. The blue sky helped too, kind of, and he haltingly began his tale. He explained about the Scios a little, since the device was destroyed, and then started on the whole mind-meld thing. It was very, _very_ hard to explain, but he thought he managed it pretty well. When he came to Voldemort contorting his memories he felt the shadows start to creep in and he started fidgeting and twisting in the chair.

"Relax, Harry," Gunhilda said softly, speaking for the first time. "I am going to turn on one of my devices. It will work like a Calming Draught, but you won't have any after affects when you leave." A moment later and Harry felt calming magic wash over him, pushing the shadows back. He focused on the beautiful ceiling and the birds. He reminded himself that Severus was close by. "I want you to focus on the memories that disturb you. I have a few more devices to use. Try and explain how you feel." Harry didn't want to, but the magic surrounding him grew and soon it was as if he was floating in it, and he was only conscious the blue sky above him. He spoke easier now, explaining in a detached way how he had destroyed Voldemort. The cocoon of magic opened slightly, and the healer's voice came through.

"Can you tell me how you felt afterwards? What did you experience that made you think something was wrong?"

"I see shadows everywhere, just like the fog inside His mind. And sometimes when things remind me of the memories he used I have flashbacks. Mostly I'm afraid I'm dreaming or still inside his mind and he'll change something at any moment, even though I know he's dead." Harry couldn't help feel silly for fearing something was simply was not there anymore. Voldemort was dead, and yet still Harry had not escaped him.

"Hmmm… Harry, you feel the magic around you now, do you not?"

"Yes," Harry sighed, thankful for it and letting it show in his voice. He was sure he heard a smile in hers when she answered.

"Not many can do that to a useful degree. Most of my visitors only feel the affects my instruments have on them, not the magic itself. I therefore want to ask you… is there anything about your experiences that would make you think the cause was magical?"

"I-" Harry thought. He had no idea. The fog seemed completely real to him, he knew nothing else about it. "I…"

"It's alright, Harry, I just had to ask," the healer said, sensing Harry's confusion. "If you could sit up." Harry felt the magic drain away slightly when he sat up and looked at her. He couldn't see Severus because the man was behind him, but he was sure he felt the man's magic, so it was okay. Gunhilda adjusted a few devices and the magic simmered and then settled around Harry again. "Has anyone ever performed Legilimency on you?" Harry's eyes widened in surprise at the question. No one had since… it was so long ago. And it had been awful, and he had been expelled the day after. Still, something wonderful had come out of it, and he would not be where he was today without Severus' lessons in fifth year.

"Yes, a few times," he said, hoping his voice was calm. The healer looked at him like she wanted to ask, but decided against it.

"The first stage in the process of healing the mind is much like Legilimency. It is not an exact science, to use the muggle expression, nor is it exact magic. I must first see into your mind. If I find what is ailing you there can be a number of ways to heal you. Potions, spells, or a type of melding of minds slightly similar to the one you experienced with You Know Who, though I would not use that with you, considering, even if the two techniques have only a passing similarity." Harry relaxed his shoulders a little at that. He didn't want anyone inside his mind ever again, at least not like that. Legilimency was different, he supposed. "There are of course muggle ways I can combine with magical remedies. But sometimes there is simply no cure." Harry nodded at these words, knowing it could be that way with him, especially considering how he had gotten sick.

"Remember, when I look into your mind you must _not_ resist me. Perhaps someone has taught you Occlumency, but you must not use it against me, as if will make my work difficult. Shall we begin?" Harry steeled himself and nodded, knowing that him using Occlumency was probably less than likely. The chocolate brown eyes of the healer locked on his and she whispered a series of words. Everything went… white.

xxx

One hour later the healer had looked her fill. It wasn't as violent as Legilimency, so Harry was merely tired and not panting for breath as he had been during Severus' Occlumency lessons. He slowly opened his eyes, realising his chair had been tilted back and the sky was still blue.

"How are you feeling?" Gunhilda asked from his right. She was standing beside him.

"Tired, but okay," he replied.

"Good. I tried to shield you as much as I could from my snooping. I know anything probing at your mind would be disturbing at this point. Here, drink this." She held the back of his neck as he drank. It was an Invigoration Draught, though a mild one. He sat up again as she sat down across from him again.

"Do you know what's wrong with me?" Harry asked.

"Yes, I believe I do, and first I should tell you that I think you are going to be fine eventually."

"Eventually?" How long was that? She smiled reassuringly at him.

"Apart from post-traumatic stress disorder, which is a muggle term I prefer using, you also seem to have a… remnant of something that was You Know Who, though it is minute. It is definitely an alien presence in you mind. It is so different from you, however, and fairly easy to distinguish, that it can be removed without damage to your mind." Harry nodded, trying to keep himself calm. Everything was going to be fine. He just had a piece of shrapnel inside his brain from when Voldemort fell to bits. He twitched. The healer adjusted an instrument and a wave of calm washed over Harry again. He sighed.

"How can you remove it?"

"I have a few potions for your post-traumatic stress. As for the "fog" as you see it when it manifests itself, I am considering several possibilities. There is a complicated potion which I believe will do the trick…"

"Severus is a Potions Master, I'm sure he can help," Harry said, hoping his lover would brew anything complicated he had to drink. Gunhilda smiled and cast a glance over Harry's shoulder.

"Yes, I thought that was him. I went to Durmstrang myself, but a colleague of mine described him to me… perhaps I shall speak with him. Can I turn off the instruments, or do you wish to sit a bit longer, perhaps?"

"Please," Harry said, yearning to simply float in the calming magic again. She smiled in understanding and tweaked her instruments again. Harry leaned back and sighed, his eyes falling shut without difficulty for the first time since the battle.

xxx

Severus had watched and heard everything that had been done to Harry, and eventually he had to admit the witch was competent. He had heard stories of crazy people who didn't have the official title of MHM, Magical Healer of the Mind, and went around offering all sorts of ridiculous remedies for every kind of depression and mental disorder. It had given the profession a bad reputation, but Paracelsus was likely to improve it. When she spoke of potions he was immediately trying to remember which one she was thinking of. Perhaps he could modify a cure for schizophrenia?

His attention was returned to the healer as she allowed Harry to rest. It took some fancy wand waving to allow a door through the sound barrier. She stepped out gracefully without disturbing Harry's calm at all and closed it behind her. She smiled and him and held out her hand again. This time he shook it, allowing his growing respect to show. It was a rare occasion.

"Professor Severus Snape, I am very honoured to meet you," she said formally. "I have actually been meaning to write to you and discuss the psychological benefits of the wolfsbane potion with you. I wanted to write a paper on it."

"Perhaps another time we can sit down and talk," Severus said carefully.

"Of course, of course. Now, as to Harry's potion…"

It seemed the healer's idea wasn't far from Severus', and he was surprised at her knowledge of potions. With her input Severus was confident he could make a potion that would help Harry with one simple dose. Gunhilda also prescribed other healing potions, all of which Severus would be brewing of course, and a schedule for drinking.

"I understand Mr. Potter is taking his NEWTs soon?" she asked afterwards.

"Indeed, he is. Do you think that will present a problem?" Severus asked.

"Depends on how much he will need to study. I do not recommend stress of any kind."

"He knows all the material. He has not been slacking for over eighteen months," Severus said perhaps a little harder than necessary. He knew how hard Harry had trained and read. He had tested the young man himself.

"That's good. If it is possible I think you should take a vacation."

"A vacation?"

"Yes, somewhere new with no reminders of his past experiences. He could do with some completely new memories that weren't used by You Know Who. I think he will heal much better with a nice trip somewhere exotic. Has he travelled much?"

"Exotic?" was the only word Severus heard. He pictured himself on a beach and almost cringed. He wanted to do what was best for Harry, though, and they were going to have a long holiday thanks to Dumbledore… he would need to discuss it with Harry. Gunhilda was half-smiling, half-smirking at him as if she knew what he was thinking. He suspected she wore that expression a lot. "I'll consider it," he said to close the subject.

"Good." She turned back to Harry. "He's fallen asleep. I can imagine he's not been sleeping well since the Battle… or massacre," she added quietly. "I could let him rest if you have time?" Severus agreed immediately and they seated themselves on the other side of Gunhilda's desk, discussing potions and healing. In the end Severus ended up having lunch with the healer in her office, occasionally sending glances at Harry to make sure he slept soundly. Always when he turned back Gunhilda would be wearing a slightly smug, slightly fond smile.

"He will get better in no time," she said. "If he can defeat He Who Must Not Be Named single-handed using his mind and magic, we can certainly get rid of the last tiny piece for him." Severus swore he would do just that for Harry.

-:-

A few things to go:

Harry gets better (hopefully) and perhaps we get to see Severus in bathing shorts? (Don't count on it, lol). Draco and Hermione make some plans, and their seventh year draws to a close. What shall our two heroes do for the rest of their lives?


	36. Chapter 36

Hello everyone! Greetings from Tokyo! I am currently very much jet-lagged and sitting in my parents' new apartment. I still have time to write for you guys of course.

To "A": Thank you for your opinion. I'm not completely sure why you felt the whole healer session was "Yuck!". Next time I would really appreciate it if you gave more reasons. Of course I have to write that I'm making it up because I _know_ prescribing potions of PTSD is total crap. But so is magic in general. I think I'm gonna keep the scene as it is, okay? Oh, and sorry for the typos. I know there are a lot of them.

As for the rest of you: Thank for so much for your encouraging reviews! I, of course like constructive criticism too, given in a polite fashion. Here you go, the last chapter!

-:-

Harry woke slowly, feeling that sort of sleepiness that meant he had slept like a log all night, but still wanted to snuggle under the covers. The sun was glaring at him through the wide windows, though, so he threw the covers over his head and sighed in the darkness.

It had taken exactly two weeks for them to complete Harry's potions regime. Severus had been stricter than Madam Pomfrey on a bad day. Harry had had to follow orders on everything: when to drink, when to sleep, when to go out and when to make sure he saw his friends. He had also visited healer Paracelsus four more times during the short period of time. He would bask in the wonderful calming magic and tell her about his progress, which was very good indeed.

He still had a few flashbacks and "episodes" as he called them, but things were getting better. Much better, especially after Severus told him they were leaving Hogwarts and the dark dungeons behind for over a month. Dumbledore had insisted they leave as soon as possible. Harry could tell Sirius was a little sad about it, no doubt because the wizard had hoped Harry would want to live with him now that he was free. But luckily he had Remus, and Harry had his Snape.

They planned to visit many places around the world, or rather Severus did the planning, and Harry would be back well in time to study for his NEWTs. He would also be in time for a certain other event that he learned of just before leaving. He couldn't be happier for his friends, but that will be explained later…

Now, they were one week into their adventure, and their current location was Tokyo. Perhaps not the most obvious choice for a pair of wizards, at least not to muggleborns with little knowledge about the wizarding world outside Britain, but Japan is rich in both culture and magic. The wizards of Tokyo are modern and like to experiment with new things while managing to keep them distinctly Japanese. Which was how Harry was able to sleep on the twentieth floor of a wizarding hotel _inside_ a muggle one, which was hollow, allowing the balconies to be on the inside and well as out, and also allowing another hotel to hide itself. Harry's view was the same as if he was living in the "outer" hotel. Right now, though, he didn't need a view, just more sleep.

"Harry, wake up," Severus' voice reached him. Harry made a show of burrowing even deeper and this produced a small chuckle from his lover. "Much as I like seeing you comfortable with sleeping, I am afraid you must get up. We have things to do." Harry groaned. Severus was apparently a planner when it came to activities too. Well, at least Harry was kept busy, and they were making a hell of a lot of new memories. Harry was just about to ask for five more minutes when he felt the bed dip and a warm hand creeping under to touch his even warmer back. He arched into it, making a content sound. Yes, new memories, like making love in a hotel-room on their first holiday together.

"Hmmm, come here," Harry murmured, turning around and reaching out.

"I have just gotten dressed, Harry," Severus pointed out, though his tone was light and teasing.

"Then get undressed," Harry countered, his hand going round Severus' waist. He pulled, and his lighter frame made him move towards Severus instead of the other way round. He tilted his head and found a pale neck, nibbling and tasting enthusiastically.

"What are you, some kind of bed-demon?" Severus asked, for Harry was still completely underneath the covers. Severus removed it and pried Harry away from his neck, guiding those red lips to his mouth instead. They moaned into each other, Harry's hands working on those hard buttons while his lover's long pale fingers travelled up and down his naked side and back, producing goose bumps in their wake.

"Get this off," Harry demanded, tugging on the now open robes.

"We'll be late," Severus whispered against his lips, probably referring to whatever sight or event he had planned for the day.

"So? This is our adventure. Be a little spontaneous." Not that Harry didn't appreciate Severus' thoughtfulness, but really! He was hard and _naked_ for Merlin's sake. What did he have to do to convince the stoic wizard?

"You mean be more Gryffindor, don't you?"

"Whatever, just as long as it means less of these robes. _Now."_

xxx

(about one week earlier)

Hermione frowned, wondering what her boyfriend was up to. Things were just beginning to settle down after the fall of Voldemort, and now Draco was acting odd. She was wearing casual clothes since it was a Saturday, but Draco was wearing slightly more formal robes. They were at Malfoy Manor, which was perhaps a little odd in itself, but since the war all the students still hadn't come back, and many of the ones at Hogwarts left to see they families or go to funerals. Thanks to Lucius Draco went home all the time, and Hermione usually came with him. They hardly ever saw the Lord and Lady of the house, though, so it wasn't as awkward as Hermione had feared at first.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Draco suddenly asked. The weather was nice, though a little chilly, so Hermione agreed readily. Draco got her coat and soon they were walking through the gardens. Draco seemed to move with more purpose than a casual walk would suggest. They reached a willow tree, with a beautiful stone bench underneath. Draco led Hermione over and she sat down. She looked up at him, frowning again.

"Is something the matter?" she asked.

"No… no, nothing's the matter," Draco answered. He looked around them, as if checking to make sure they were alone. He put away his wand, but kept his hand in his pocket. Hermione opened her mouth again- Then he got down on one knee. Hermione's eyes went wide. She didn't even notice how he had surreptitiously waved his wand inside his pockey and made sure the ground was dry before he knelt.

"Dr-"

"You're not suppose to say anything yet," he reminded her. His eyes were glinting now, and he smiled. Hermione promptly pressed her lips together to keep from making a sound, as it would probably have been a very embarrassingly girly sound. "I actually prepared a whole speech and everything, but seeing you here… I think you would like it better if I just asked." He took a deep breath and help out his hand. In it was a beautiful silver ring with a small green stone. "Hermione Granger, will you marry me?" Hermione's lungs seemed to deflate. Even if she had guessed it from the moment he had knelt, it was still completely mind-blowing to her that he had asked. She simply stared at the ring for an eternity. Slowly her eyes travelled up to his earnest face. It was so open now in her presence. "What is this?" he suddenly said, quirking an eyebrow. "Hermione Granger stumped for an answer?" She let out a startled laugh and smiled back.

"The answer is yes, of course." Even though his smile was just the same, she could detect how he had sighed with relief and decided to make up for it. She flung herself into his arms and kissed him. The kiss turned heated and they ended up on the ground, Draco on top.

"Do I have to ask your father for your hand?" Draco suddenly asked, pulling back.

"What?" Hermione exclaimed.

"I read it somewhere that muggle men do that." She smiled, because only she really knew how much of a total Ravenclaw Draco could be. Just like her, always checking facts.

"No you don't have to. Some still do, I suppose, but my father doesn't expect it."

"Good… I would have, you know."

"I know." She kissed him again.

As they were walking back to the Manor Hermione detected Draco's nervousness again. She glanced at him askance. He saw it and sighed.

"I think I may need to ask _my_ father," he said. "Or at least tell him."

"You haven't yet?" Hermione asked, surprised. They passed the door to the study and stopped simultaneously.

"Wait here?" Draco said. Hermione nodded and let go of her boyfriend's - fiancé's - hand. She watched as he knocked and entered, and then she stood alone in the corridor. She raised her hand, watching the light reflect in the green emerald. Steps drew her attention and he looked to the side to see Narcissa pass at the other end of the corridor. Hermione caught her eye and there was a slight pause in the steps. Hermione could never be sure, but she thought she saw a slight nod of the woman's head. Then she was gone.

Things had been very civil between the two ever since Hermione had saved Lucius. Perhaps this could actually work… it all depended on Lucius' reaction in the end. Just then the door opened and Hermione held her breath.

Draco came out, his face a complete mask. He let the door close magically behind him, a soft dull thud. She hadn't heard any yelling, so surely…

And then he smiled.

"Come here," he said and once again Hermione threw herself into her lover's arms – soon to be husband's.

xxx

"Harry!" Severus gasped hoarsely. Harry loved how Severus sounded in bed. The sound actually made him come rather violently, spilling onto the bed. Severus leaned forward, his skin clinging to Harry's in their sweat-soaked state and bit into Harry's shoulder. Harry bowed his head and shuddered as Severus emptied himself into Harry's willing body.

"Merlin," Severus sighed as he pulled out and flopped down to Harry's side. Harry just let his limbs go slack, his face hitting the pillow.

"Better than sight-seeing?" he mumbled when he managed to turn his head.

"… Yes, I suppose," Severus admitted after a thoughtful pause. Harry laughed and Severus' eyes warmed at the sound. He reached over and stroked Harry's cheek.

"Careful," Harry said. "People might mistake you for a Hufflepuff." Severus only rolled closer, hugging Harry to him and kissing him softly.

"No people in here," he said.

"All the more reason to stay in bed," Harry pointed out.

"I suppose Tokyo will be there tomorrow as well," Severus admitted. Harry smiled. Tomorrow. It was such a wonderful concept. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. Everyday with this man. Everyday a new, safe, warm – though sometimes stressful and exasperating – and perfect risk-free adventure with the man he loved. Now, that was the kind Harry liked best. And he should know, he had had enough of the other kind.

"I still want to do a bit of exploring today," Harry informed his lover. Severus raised an eyebrow in question. "But it will be on familiar territory." And with that Harry dived underneath the covers again to explore a soft and pale landscape he could never get enough of.

THE END

Endnote:

Yes, probably way too cheesy and fluffy, but I can't really find another good way to end this and it needed ending. I could perhaps write more, but it would only make the last chapters seemed forced, and I really don't like forcing myself to write. It doesn't make for good writing.

Hope you still liked it, though. I know I said you would find out what they would be doing, but I got so many good suggestions I decided to leave it open and let your imaginations do a little extra work. I remember a funny one from GalynSolo about planting a garden of lemon drops for Dumbledore. Lol.

A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO TOOK THE TIME TO READ THIS FIC.

AND AN EVEN BIGGER THANK YOU TO THE REVIWERS. YOU MADE THIS STORY HAPPEN! I never thought this story would be such a hit. Thank you!


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